Monday, April 11, 2011

natural selections

watching tv
surfing channels
we land on

national geographic
or something graphic

"are they?"

"oh yeah"

they do their thing
and the male disengages
rolling on his back
tongue lolling

the female sneers
then locks jaws
on his neck

his thrashing
becomes twitches
then stillness
and she licks him
once before
walking away

taking the remote
from my numb fingers
she thumbs the
power button

"ready for bed?"

i rub the side on my neck
weighing briefly my
choices

"why not?"

bugs crackle
against a neighbor's zapper
as i turn the lights
down

morituri te salutant

78 comments:

Corinna said...

Nice one :)

Heather said...

hee, hee - this is good! Have a great day!

DJan said...

Oh my! That was so... graphic and well, permanently embedded in my imagination!

Lorraine said...

LOL too good what the heck,you're a brave man/writer....lol

Neva Flores said...

Oh wow! So this is how we get the remote?

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Great stuff.

Shadow said...

mmmm, this kinda thing happens all too often in this house to me, me who is not the controller of the remote that is, heee hee heee

Josh Hoyt said...

Great job!!

Bonnie said...

you're just a glutton for punishment ... lol

Valerie said...

Great! Nice work,Brian.

annell said...

that seems about right.

Daniel said...

Oh my this was good. Love the images that popped into my mind as I was reading (and rereading).

Bossy Betty said...

I like the way you end with the zapper. I'll be hearing that all day.

Sandi McBride said...

perhaps if you ask her to remove her teeth nicely from your neck and put them in a glass by the side of the bed you'll awaken refreshed rather than dead
Sandi

ayala said...

Nice....:)

Monkey Man said...

Nation GeoGraphic - with the emphasis on the Graphic. Yup.

David Allen Waters said...

funny, the dance seems the same in the wild kingdom or the human one....well versed

Nancy said...

This was great - ready for bed? Maybe you could wrap something around your neck for protection. :-)

Magpie said...

Some things are worth the risk! :)

hedgewitch said...

Ha! I see you know your place in the scheme of things well, my friend. Remain useful, though, and the jugular is usually spared. ;_)

sonny said...

make a squeak...give a sign that u made it thru the night...snickers

rhymetime(aka Pat) said...

So I guess that "free" box you received the other day
Has led to lots of play
Bringing this little diddy out
Just be sure and not to shout
Keeping things low
As you wouldn't want the neighbors with the bug zapper to know
Oh now I've had my fun
Another job well done

Lori said...

This put a smile on my face. Thank you. I have sure missed visiting you Brian...you with your talented voice that never ceases to amaze me...I hope you and yours are well and that life is treating you good. Thank you for all the times you've made me think outside the box, made me smile/laugh and just made me thankful to be part of such a great community. Love and hugs to you.

Teri said...

How's your neck NOW??? My husband always says that "it" is the cure for everything. Do you concur? (You don't have to answer...I think that you already did!) Nice one Brian.

Tara Miller said...

Haa Haa! This just made my Monday even better. I promise not to hurt you....too bad ;)

blueviolet said...

He's a dude. He'd say it was totally worth it.

Christina - Rant Rave Roll said...

Your words are so well written. Damn the visualization though!

*snicker* At least T promises not to hurt you too bad. I actually sent my husband to the ER with a knee injury once.

Eva Gallant said...

Ha ha! you are taking your chances!

MorningAJ said...

Ouch!

Raven said...

LOL I agree with blueviolet. :D

natalee said...

lol... awwww you remind me of my husband

dopey said...

This reminded of your days of Vampire obsessions! Pretty cool writing!!

Get him T! :)

Natasha said...

Those who are about to die, salute you...if you gotta go, what better way :) Another great write...but I think I'll stick to my cartoon fantasy adventures...National Geographic make me weep.

Mama Zen said...

This is so cool!

Brian Miller said...

until the jaws are on your neck of course, MZ...lol

drybottomgirl said...

Yes, well we females have that about us, esp. during certain times of the month....funny write!

Little Ms Blogger said...

Okay, I don't know what I thought funnier -- you recounting the program or rubbing your neck at the end.

Very funny.

Joybird said...

Is it so wrong that this kind of made me grin?

Paul C said...

Natural selection and survival of the fittest. We know the dominant sex?

william said...

yes. only the tough survive mate.. good post..

Fireblossom said...

????

Is this not how it's normally done?????

Pat said...

Talk about some rough sex! Yowzer!

Betsy said...

Your fingers went numb? lol

Tracy said...

Hmmm...isn't luv wonderful?

Barbara Shallue said...

Yikes! Now I have a graphic image of it all. Thanks! :)

Pauline said...

love the last line! death by... yeah, it's all good ;)

happygirl said...

I love the sexy ones. Were you watch SOAP network? Sounded like it.

PattiKen said...

This didn't happen on March 15th, did it?

secret agent woman said...

Nature is red in tooth and claw.

Sue said...

heehee

You certainly live dangerously...

;)

Patricia Caspers said...

Snort! Men are such easy prey.

kkrige said...

High five to the ladies! Sorry Brian. :P

I love your awkward and stilted playfulness. Er, why not? Ha! Only live once I guess! Cute piece Brian.

Me said...

Rawr! Love it! :)

ModernMom said...

See, you guys don't have it that bad:)

lori said...

Too funny. We're not that scary, are we? Good stuff :)

Hope said...

wow! enjoyed this one! :)

ladyfi said...

Brilliant one - and very amusing too.

ds said...

Ha ha! Sure it was only the neighbor's bugs that got zapped?

Goofball said...

hehe

fortunately you survived well enough to write this poetry

Just Be Real said...

Brian put a smile on my face. Thank you for sharing.

Sarah Tuttle-Singer. Yes, That's My Real Name. (Hi Dad.) said...

*forwards link to husband.*
well said, brian. well said.

Kat_RN said...

Grin.

Alan Burnett said...

Brilliant, Brian. And that is not an accolade I use lightly.

adeeyoyo said...

morte parum

hahaha

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
Natural Selections?
Animals Vs. Men?
Now,
I Ask You?
Thanks, For Sharing!
DeeDee ;-D

slommler said...

Ha! Ha! Ha! How's your neck today? Good one!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

Very amusing and brave. Nice written

Vicki Lane said...

Great! Live dangerously...

gayle said...

Very familiar!!

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Very nice indeed.

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

Very nice indeed. I enjoyed it.

♥ Braja said...

you're brilliantly hilarious :))

Katherine said...

Brian this gave me a laugh & given that you were able to post again after this post, it seems you made it through the night... What a battler you are!! Very clever!!

Kevin P. Mahan said...

Ah yes, but the mystery makes it better. Love the connection you made here.

Sophia said...

=O Gasp! Dude!!

:D

Syd said...

I am glad to not be near any bug zappers. I haven't had my neck bitten in a while.

Sheila Moore said...

Lol. Sleep with one eye open. We r crAaaaazy!!!

Ami Mattison said...

Ha! I'd be a bit more reluctant if it were me! But then what a way to go! Clever and funny in your trademark style. Big smile for this one!