Wednesday, April 27, 2011

dashboard bobble head jesus

dashboard plastic Jesus,
bobble head always says yes,
when i ask and gets all wiggly when i
thunk him on the belly
but he's always there
every where i go &

sometimes i turn his head around
backwards just to see where i
got this car heading
when i'm looking
for direction

dashboard jesus save me
from these gas prices so we
can continue our road trip to
salvation, the home less on
Damascus Road wanna wash
my windows at the stop light
but don't bother asking for
a tip when they see my co-
pilot---

plastic...oh yes, plastic Jesus
makes it easy to rinse off
with a water hose or standing
in the car wash if it ever gets dirty
my I dream of Jeannie faith
less the constraints

and i repent of covering you
up with my shirt when
we roll around in the back seat &
that you kinda faded in
the suns heat, but you will
always be

my plastic---corporate sponsored
by Teva, wear em' cause
i'ma believa---
Jesus

I am pretty sure you won't get struck by lightning for leaving a comment on this rather tongue in cheek Imperfect Prose.

94 comments:

Titanium said...

Takin' my chances... nope... no lighting strike.

Yeaaaaaaah Buddyyyyyyy. You sure know how to tilt the prose, Bro.

David Allen Waters said...

ha I like to live a bit dangerous :) BIG smiles

Linda said...

Smiles here Brian (and an eye to the sky)...I am also feeling a bit of sting. This was really good.

Daniel said...

An I Dream of Jeannie reference? A bit before your time, but much appreciated for us older folks.

Eva Gallant said...

You're treading on the edge there, fella! lol

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
If I leave a comment I don't think that I will be "struck" by "lightning" but once again this is great [Tongue-in-Cheek] "writing."
[Uh! Oh! I think that I have been reading Pat Hatt's comments too much!]
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D

The Bug said...

I love this - very irreverent. Of course, as a former Baptist I should disapprove of such idolatry anyway. Ha!

Pat Hatt said...

If I get struck by lightning I'll be tracking you down
Unless it kills me than I'll haunt you all over town
But nope nothing yet
So I won't fret
I don't Dream of Jeannnie at all
As I have heard the Bewitched call
Heck Green Acres is where I'd rather be
Keeping it All in the Family you see
Now look what you made me start
Least I really took your post to heart
Very nice little spin
I don't think it's a sin

Oh and DeeDee you might want to seek help soon
As you don't want to become a rhyming loon

Sue said...

heehee

I'll just duck and cover...

;)

TALON said...

lol - I loved this. I'm thinking not even bobble head Jesus can save us from the crazy gas prices!

ladyfi said...

Taking a risk here - but this was delightfully tongue in cheek!

Brian Miller said...

hehe...hey i talked to the HP they were cool with it as it really is not directed at them you know...smiles.

Elaine said...

I need to get me one of those bobble head Jesus...if he's always gonna say yes (tongue in cheek too!)
I liked it...it's funny!

Victoria said...

Poor Jesus...a plastic bobble head? I love your tongue-in-cheek creative take on this, Brian.

Kati patrianoceu said...

tongue in cheek is right! but at the same time very down to earth - that's real life!

Rachel said...

LOL, I joke about lightening all the time, but I have not been struck by it yet. Great words, I am finding the right balance in prayer, to know he is good and to expect good. Yet, I'm leaving the bobble head Jesus behind.

Claudia said...

yes - i'm sure he would kiss you...i'm loving it...and i'm not sponsored by mcdonalds...smiles

Vicki Lane said...

All together now, with three-part harmony ...

"Ohhh, I don't care if it rains or freezes/ Long as I have my plastic Jesus/Ridin' on the dashboard of my car./Through all trials and tribulations/ I'm safe while I have my imitations/ Ridin' on the dashboard of my car."

Cathy said...

Love your ramble to the edge of the cliff Brian and you know, the old rickety buses in Central America are rife with this kind of thing and somehow, this combination of the holy and the banal inspires me. One driver in Mexico (with a dozen scars zig-zagging across his face) had a bobble head Jesus on the dashboard, a black-and-white-on-plexiglass Jesus with blinking lights around it on the window behind his seat, and 3 small statues of the Virgin pressed elbow to elbow beside his gas pedal.

Monkey Man said...

Plastic Jesus Saves

Mighty M said...

Although I do have a bit of a bobble head collection myself I have yet to add Jesus to the mix. And you'll never find one in my car or on my dash.....

Nezzy said...

May not get struck by lightin' but may get the proverbial sky light over the computer! Heeheehhe!

Ya made me laugh Man! :o)

God bless your day!

who said...

that's a pretty twisted view you have Brian. I bet your idea of having a little extra soap in the water translates to no extra soap.

You are sick my friend. May the lightening be non-lethal.

who said...

THAT WAS NOT A LISP THAT IS THE WAY THE WORD IS PRONOUNCED

Daisy said...

Clever poem. Made me smile. And like Vicki Lane above in the comments, this reminded me of the "rains or freezes" song. I'm over visiting from Paige's blog. :)

Christine said...

I want one too, please. Does your church have a gift shop?

Barbara Shallue said...

I liked it. Had a character forming in my head just from the way he talked about his plastic Jesus. Great job!

Brian Miller said...

ha. no christine, i have seen though do not have one...you must realise where i am...an overly religeous town that at times lacks spirituality...

hedgewitch said...

Still cackling at the last line. And the rolling around part. The Damascus Road line also was a standout, especially considering what's going on in the real place right now. May the lightning only activate the monsters on your slab, my friend.

5thsister said...

Your most recent comment brought it all to home for me: very religious without spirituality. THAT, in a nutshell, is the problem. Bravo! I really liked this one a lot!

Hmmmm, maybe I should hang a rosary on my rear view mirror?

Jannie Funster said...

Well, that's mighty decent of you to cover him up for the backseat romping. That's why we have no photos in our bedroom to have to stop turn around when our "games" begin. :)

WONDERFUL poem, Brian!!

xo

Nancy said...

This reminded me of some of my friends in college. We would go to the local Christian bookstore and see who could come out with the tackiest Jesus junk. Sad, but true.

keLi said...

tongue in cheek, but also fab. please do a sequel on those "guardian angel for drivers" things you hang from the rearview.

ayala said...

you say it...so well :) smiles.

tracy said...

"faith less" and "home less". Magnificent.

karen ritch said...

Well said. Plastic Jesus that always says" yes" is the idol of many. This depicts everyday hypocrisy that victimizes us all.

turtlememoir said...

I think, me being me, if the lightning were gunning for me it would have got me by now. :) I love your tongue-in-cheekiness, Brother Brian.

Finally said...

Wow! What a powerful and true comment on the conflation of religion and commerce in modern society.

Deidra said...

LOVE it!

Cathleen said...

laugh/guilt...laugh/guilt...laugh Between this piece and the last it makes quite a statement about the current affairs in America, as always excellent write.

tera said...

Ha ha! Duck and cover, duck and cover! Cute.

tulpen said...

I'm not a Christian, so that makes me safe from the lightening right?

Right?

'Cause this cracked me up.

Brandee Shafer said...

Oh my word. I get it because of my giant, driftword Moses.

Betsy said...

I've heard of putting God in a box, but never a bobble head. Maybe it's similar. ha.

Mama Zen said...

I risk it! Excellent work, Brian.

happygirl said...

I want a Jesus that says yes. but I don't always get a yes. Thanks, this was fun.

Maggie said...

haha!! I really liked this one a lot! ohh.. :O

KB said...

I just filled up my car with gas...I think I cried out to Jesus when I saw the bill.

Josh Hoyt said...

This is a dangerous one but it makes me think about how we truly live our lives and our beliefs. I like the throwing the shirt over him part and what that could really mean. Good job.

nic said...

yes. and ouch. (to the poem, not the lightning. that would be a more silent sort of ouch.)

Bonnie said...

Love the saucy, irreverent poems ... Oooooh Whaaaa Ouch!!!!!

emily wierenga said...

wow.

ouch and wow and incredible, brian. funny how distracted we can be by our plastic bobble-headed Jesuses... so distracted we forget to tip.

loved this brother. preach it.

Matty said...

Love the yes factor with a bobbing Jesus.

Lori said...

Love this...reading this makes me realize even more how much I miss reading your words...there is a lot of truth here...not just in the words but reading in between the lines. I hope all is well with you and yours. Blessings. XX

tattytiara said...

In my head I heard this as a rap in a thick Texan accent.

kkrige said...

Hmmm, there was thunder rumbling this aft here. Ach, no worries.

I was wondering when you were going to spring a smile in here. 'Twould seem that your bobble-headed, plastic man was the trick.

Slap his belly again and let's hit the road!

Cindy said...

Absolutely funny...do they REALLY make a bobble-head Jesus?!?!?!?! Hmmmmm, I know a few people with "I dream of Jeannie" faith, too!

Thanks for the smiles!!!

Blessings...

Loni said...

Having been in a legalistic church with a plastic bobbing preacher, I sure can relate . . . ugg

Kristi said...

Had to smile at the part where you apologize for covering Him up when doing things you wouldn't want Him to see. :) Isn't that just like us....thinking we can hide pieces of our life...from ourselves and even from a plastic Jesus. Gotta love how He always agrees with you though.
Thanks for stopping by tonight.

violet said...

A bobblehead Jesus? That's one way to always get the answer you want, I guess. Enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek piece.

Raven said...

Funny! Love the dashboard Jesus!

elizabeth said...

Ha! Good one Brian!

Baino said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-JxnK4GKhA&feature=related

Oh yeah? I have a dashboard surfer does that count?

Lorraine said...

I bet you Jesus loves this :) you're brilliant Brian, no two ways about it...

tony said...

The Ultimate Celestial Navigation System.

slommler said...

Very appropriate! The "I dream of Jeannie" faith is so true for so many. I also call it "Santa Claus" faith. Lots of asking...and expecting....no action on their part whatsoever!!! Ha!!
Hugs
Loved this
SueAnn

the walking man said...

WTF...I had to do some search engine shit on this one. I ain't the one should be worrying about the lightning strike. Jesus Sandal Company? Why the hell not?

Fireblossom said...

Hehe, that's funn--

*crack* BOOM!!!!

Nancy said...

As always, meaning with a touch of humor. You do that so well.

TechnoBabe said...

Great fun. I really like how you write about everything and anything. This is one of my favorite fun ones.

AmyLK said...

Cute one! giggled through most of it.

Pat said...

This Catholic girl loved it! I haven't seen a bobble-head Jesus on the road, but if I do, I'll know exactly who to buy one for!

Bossy Betty said...

I think this is my favorite one of yours yet!!

truly said...

I like..."plastic makes it easy to rinse off"...kind of like washing away sins.
Organized religion and faith are 2 very separate entitites most of the time.

Magpie said...

Somewhere along the way, some religions lost their spirituality.

william said...

awsome interpretation mate, although I am not religous, I understood this :)

Heather said...

it's actually lightening here now, for real....a plastic jesus ? we don't see many of them up here!

Ryan and Melanie said...

clever! so well written:) (and looks like a storm here, so should I worry?;))

-Mel

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh Jees-sus, that was good! All your posts, which I've been catching up on for the past 30 minutes are good. I do not know how you are able to crank greatness out on a regular basis but you never disappoint.

Hope all's well in your world. Cheers, jj

trisha said...

it all depends on "faith" :)

Nessa said...

I love it and so do the plastic higher powers.

PattiKen said...

Nice and irreverent, Brian, just the way I like 'em.

Belinda said...

Oh, lordy. You are so clever.

Tina said...

LOVE IT. LOVE IT! Gotta shout it from the roof-tops! Nice little touch with the Damascus road bit...
Tina @ Life is Good

Patricia Caspers said...

Hilarious:

dashboard jesus save me
from these gas prices so we
can continue our road trip to
salvation

Cracked me up!

Joybird said...

Love the marraige of silly and truth. Exhortation comes in many different forms. No lightening for this - that cow one I still haven't recovered from. ;)

Sheila Moore said...

oh, wow, that is something else. and for Imperfect Prose? You are brave...j/k it was very refreshing...

sometimes I forget that I have a sense of humor. Things seem to be so serious all of the time in my life. I think my Jesus would be bobbling his head "no" to so much seriousness (sigh)

Liza Ursu said...

I want one!

secret agent woman said...

Suddenly I wish I had bobblehead versions of both Jesus and the Buddha for my car.

Bristol said...

Haha, I definitely enjoyed this! I especially loved the first part... Always nods yes. Thanks, Brian!

lori said...

Oh, Brian! This is brilliant, and you are brilliant! I do hope you have plans to put these works of art in a book someday. I will be the first in line to buy it.

Knowing a bit of my background, you can imagine why I'm so drawn to this one. We need your words out here, so keep writing them :)

Syd said...

I don't know about the plastic Jesus thing, but I hope that something will save us from the gas prices.

Pastor Sharon said...

Nice. Makes you think. All the times we see an image or painting and stop to think, He sees what I do, knows where I am and yet, nothing cannot sink me to where his love and grace cannot reach and save me.

Goofball said...

I just love this image of this wobbling jesus on the dashboard. Love it