Thursday, April 21, 2011

55 - Spring Break

bees buzz along lips
of unfrocked flowers

the neighbors mower
growls, nearly drowning

the crack of ball & bat
howling through the
radio

these are signs
of spring

as is the used condom
in the culvert by the

back road, busted,
weeping another
high school beauty's
dreams

come end of spring

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it s try or just read more, go see g-man.

Over at Friday Poetically, we are playing with a Shel Silverstein poem.

73 comments:

tera said...

I was all like, "awww"
then I was "ewww"
and then it was "ah..."

Mighty M said...

Tera pretty much said it all. Happy Spring? :)

Titanium said...

Sharp. Dammit, Brian. No fuzzy-wuzzy springtime peeps in this corner! Well done. As always.

Bonnie said...

Whoa - you set us up and then pull that rug and - Boom!!! Bravo Brian.

Monkey Man said...

I like surprise endings, but jeez, Brian. I feel like I just stepped on a cliff.

David Allen Waters said...

Yep, Tera was spot on :)

tracy said...

Darn it! You take me on the roller coaster every time. It's amazing how quickly you can make a smile fade or turn a frown upside down.

Step right up, folks. Get your tickets here!

Sue said...

Okay, that was downright depressing!

=)

The Retired One said...

As the saying goes: Off,faster than a prom dress....
Often people think they are invincible...or just get caught up in emotion and end up "paying" for it with all of their future....

Eva Gallant said...

Spring is so many different things, isn't it?

Barbara Shallue said...

I like how you started off a tad sensual with the bees ('lips' and 'unfrocked'), distracted us with mowers and baseball, then smacked us in the face with it again! You've got a way with words, that's for sure!

gayle said...

Wow this is a shocker!!! :)

Pat Hatt said...

Breaking the poor girls dreams
One shouldn't mess around with baseball teams..haha
Another nice little 55 word one
Started off fun
Then when you were done
Left something in the oven maybe a bun
As those with the attitude of it couldn't never happen to me
Are usually the first you'll see
In this perdiciment the most
Yet another great post from Brain your host
hahaha had to do it
Don't have a fit

Maggie said...

haha really good one! Nice, dirty and a lil sad. xD

hedgewitch said...

Those magic moments....why must they always come with a tacky down side? Nice twisty 55, brian.

Steve E said...

That cliff which Monkey Man "stepped on" ????? Well, I just stepped OFF! --grinning!

Poor Pregnant High School Girl--Well, at LEAST they used a condom. Does that mean the baby won't be born with a disease? UGH! (I'd better stop now!)

BRILLIANT, as usual, Brian--but it won't top the switch blade thing. HAPPY SPRING!

G-Man said...

Shouldda used Trojans!!!!
(Not the ones that have been in his wallet for 3 years)
Somber 55 Son!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Easter!!

Sandi McBride said...

Jeez guy, bummer...way to bring down a room...but you're a master at this poetry, I have to say it...admiration all round
Sandi

Me said...

And I thought Monkey was the king of the surprise twist at the end of a 55. Yikes!

My best friend's oldest boy is about to become a daddy. Him and his girlfriend are barely more than kids and I'm a little scared for the soon-to-be-family. It's gonna be a rough go. Luckily they have a lot of love surrounding them...hope it's enough.

Alice Audrey said...

That pretty much covers it. Or... um... uncovers? Hm...


- Alice

Bethany Ann said...

i was wondering where those "unfrocked flowers" were leading...

Betsy said...

spring break...prom night...tis the season...

Josh Hoyt said...

This was very interesting how you twisted and turned at my emotions. Good job.

Janna said...

(!!!)
Not sure whether to laugh or shudder or take a shower.

Thankfully I can multitask and do all three at once. :)

Hee! :)

Brian Miller said...

you know its true...i guess the assumption is made in the consequences...but its a nice beautiful spring day when you stumble upon a condom on the fire road out back of the property and yep there is a story there...this is only one possibility...

happygirl said...

So, April showers bring may flowers and the birds and the bees make babies for teens?

TALON said...

Life in all its raw beauty. In this case, spring has definitely sprung!

Always a fabulous 55, Brian!

nance marie said...

sometimes they break in springtime

Cinner said...

Were you walking through my neighborhood....that was a surprise ending. once again I am truly amazed by you.

Cloudia said...

unfrocked flowers, cool






Warm Aloha from Honolulu


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ladyfi said...

Oh wow - a sting in the tail of spring. Great stuff!

MorningAJ said...

Ouch!
Doesn't have to be spring for that kind of shattered dream though.

Little Ms Blogger said...

Okay, this cracked me up. You went from all things pretty to leaving me visions of a knocked up cheerleader living in a trailer with 15 kids (one being permanently attached at the hip)

anthonynorth said...

You go through the whole of spring activity there. Excellent.

Belinda said...

It must be prom season. So sad when children have to bear grownup responsibility.

Subby said...

Ouch! But unfortunately, all too true. Sometimes it scares me to have a natter with Princess Cheese. She's too aware of some things, at her age... 8^O

Just Be Real said...

Signs of spring indeed. Blessings.

Claudia said...

pretty real spring picture you paint with your words brian...smiles
(i've written a 55 with the title "spring rain break" - funny...topic is a bit different...will post it for next week's 55 round after i've made sure it can't be misunderstood...lol...)

Nessa said...

I hate when that happens. ;)

Valerie said...

I think I just went on a roller coaster...

Lorraine said...

Oh my gosh, spring and fever you've covered it wonderfully well, then again, what else is new ;)

slommler said...

Starts out so sweet and romantic..ends with tears and heartbreak. Sigh!! Broken dreams and humiliation!
Well done my sweet friend!
Hugs
SueAnn

Heather said...

great ending....spring has so many meanings, depending on your age. have a great friday!
ps - yes, someday i hope to illustrate books for kids...it's my dream. thank you for your encouragement!

the walking man said...

So you do come down my street every now and then eh? I get the needles that are to used to use anymore and the crack or heroin bags too they make perfect playmates for the condoms on the curb.

Ami Mattison said...

Fantastic, Brian! A used condom as a sign of spring is brilliant ( and yes, grossly real). That it's "weeping" a girl's crushed dreams is sad, but makes for a wonderful image. Great job!

trisha said...

interesting way of looking at spring brian.

budh.aaah said...

Bees hovering around the lips and Broken dreams in the same breath Brian broke the heart even while it was preparing to yipee up in anticipation of spring..

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

WHOA! So pretty and wonderful to start...with a tragic and dramatic end.
Bother.

annell said...

Spring Break is certainly a perfect symbol of spring. Nothing is perfect in life, all a combination of laughter and tears.

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

Unfortunate word choice on that last line, Brian. (Ew!)

Mama Zen said...

Wow, Brian!

PattiKen said...

You've been in a sort of "exposé" mood lately, haven't you? It's that time of year again when this story gets told over and over.

hope said...

Ah, the consequences of spring fever. Nicely told.

Raven said...

hehehe I wasn't expecting the condom bit. That caught me by surprise. Great poem!

RNSANE said...

Those little high school boys are just not adept with condoms! There should be a class in Condoms 101! It's always the girls who suffer. They need a class, too...or they need to stay out of those back seats and they need to keep their pants on - if they wear them in the first place!

drybottomgirl said...

Brian, Brian, Brian.....here I am enjoying the innocence of spring and then whamo, back to reality! You are the master of blending the two! Have a blessed Easter holiday...

Friko said...

a few words, a whole season.

Bernie said...

Sounds like you are close by my neighbourhood. Happy Easter to you and your family.....:-)Hugs

ayala said...

I like the way you tell it.... :)
Enjoy your weekend

Dulce said...

WOW man... this is kinda... cruel

Linda said...

Maybe the condom was there for a "same sex" purpose. I love your fertile poem Brian. A lovely wish for Earth Day. Have a happy one!!

libraryscene said...

quite the ride in 55..excellent edge~

secret agent woman said...

The last bit lead to the pregnancy test stick I found on the road!

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
As I pick my jaw up off the ground...Wonderful use Of 55 words and LOL! to everyone responses.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-)

Patricia Caspers said...

Wow, yeah. Your muse must be moonlighting with me. Startling ending.

Olivia said...

Surprise Endings.. very well composed! So many shades of love woven together- spell binding indeed

Hugs x

joanny said...

and to think you started off with pretty painted pollen faces and then the bee stings,,,

Sheila Moore said...

ugh...that ending was unexpected - lol at tera's comment. However, I had the same reactions...awww, then ewwww, then ah.

Stranger said...

Ah, spring! That hurt good and true. At least some responsibilty was exercised - a condom was used.
Reminds me of the walk home from junior high where the street gutters and sidewalks often displayed such personal and often disturbing artifacts.

Mmm said...

whoa that is powerful and the most unique poem I've ever rad on Spring! you really have such a way with words and getting a point across.

Magpie said...

Brian, you can make a moving, thought-provoking story out of anything. Can't wait to see what you do with a sticky, stretched-out, glob of stepped-in chewing gum. There's a challenge for you. :)

Syd said...

I remember seeing those condoms down a lover's lane when I was a kid. I asked my dad what they were. It was an eye opener.

Pastor Sharon said...

YIKES. . . that could've been me so many years ago! Too much fun on spring break.