Joe Camel, big nose
phallic symbol, James Dean
party scene, your funeral
but who should i blame
as i explain to your children,
time stolen
each hit,
butt to lip
What can you say in 160 characters? (spaces included) Go tell Monkey.
The picture inspiration came from One Shoot Sunday at One Stop Poetry.
That first one feels way too PSA, so late addition that probably goes too far the other way...
In Morning Light
Mine
is the God
of mussed hair
who smokes
in the afterglow
on my worship
when you get beyond
the painted faces.
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88 comments:
You won't need explain to my children they already know I been kissing those butts for half a century.
heh
butt kisser
somehow i think things are only going to get worse.
Hi! Brian...
Not to sound like a goody-two shoes, but I don't drink and Joe Camel, never met my purse, school bag, lips, etc,etc,etc...Nice use Of 160 words.
DeeDee ;-D
That is it, time stolen
Brian, well done
I gave up butt kissing twenty plus years ago, thank goodness.
A great use of 160 words, well expressed.
Anita.
When I was young we called them "another nail in the coffin".
The older I got it became clear this was not snarky words, this was true.
For all the cigarette images on my poetry blog, I don't smoke and never have. I've also never owned a cat. (I'm dog-owned). Some things make better literary devices than real life accoutrements.
That chick needs to put out the smokes so she can do something about that hair and complexion! She's going down in a sea of ratty!
That picture makes my skin crawl. You did a great job putting words to it. :)
Happily, I am also among the number who gave up kissing butts. Over 5 years since I smoked, and it's like it happened in someone else's life, now. Best thing I ever did. :)
ah and so glad you did me and val...
I think that adequately sums it up... smoke free for ten years this past February. It took the conception of my only child to pull my head up and get me to give the things up.
we used to think smoking was so cool....I remember the Camel's...Glad I grew up and kissed them good-bye! have a great sunday brian, hope you are on two feet today! :)
Not sure I could ever say so much with merely 160 characters - but that's one of the true marks of a great poet - economy of words. I always intend to be economical, but I am such a spendthrift - even with my words - as you can see. How about a tutorial?
I Love me, I Love me not......and we used to smoke in hospitals
Peace, hp
great ending. very effective.
my novel is a personal context (i.e. my character is similiar to myself) but I don't talk about the plot because it kills my inspiration. =)
Brian, I'll take door number TWO!
(But behind the door--does a spirit really smoke?--grin!)
I like how the two poems work against each other; opposing views of the same person, each bound with its own preconceptions and projections onto the image.
glad i slayed that dragon when i turned 18..agh...started to smoke with 14 and i guess the amount of cigarettes i had in those 4 years is enough for my whole life..
my fav. is poem no. 1 btw
ah, but they never think of their kids, do they?
After my BIL was laid to rest because he couldn't stop smoking, I have a aversion to even thinking about those butt kissers. Great poetry, though, as usual.
Time stolen indeed, in more ways than one...
♥ ஆεlεɳa ~.^
Amazing what advertisers try to do to sell people through highly suggestive illustrations—pathetic since so many kids love cartoons. Awesome Shoot-160!
The first is a really powerful piece, full of pain ad regret. Great stuff.
Great pairing of words to the photo!
Another butt kisser, gave up for 6 years but started again I relate, and maybe this poem will make me say farewell to the old smokes
Both of these were fantastic, but I especially liked the 2nd one.
I started smoking when I was 16, when I thought it was so 'cool' and now here I am 22 years later and just can't quit. Not so cool anymore.
I like them both!
Clever and brilliant ... both of them!
I love both poems. Too hard to chose one over the other. They're just different. I never smoked, but my husband struggled to give them up. So glad he did.
a brilliant poem in so little words. loved it brian.
trisha
Nice take!
I prefer the second one. I don't smoke and never have, but I have so much compassion for those who can't kick the habit. It is a killer. Makes me want to write about smoking :).
I have to admit, I never saw Joe Camel's nose in quite that light before. Both pieces work, but I like the lost mood of the second best.
It doesn't matter how she looks if she smokes...... she smokes and that is the biggest turn off.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Black death in a white stick. Great Sunday 160 and thanks for your loyal participation.
Kind of a two for the price of one today. Nice.
Love these...you had me from the very first line ;)
I wish like dopes, fag too could be declared unlawful..
A couple of years back Law declared il- legal to smoke in public space here in India.. trust me, it's being puffed away ever since!!
We may have become civilized yet "practice" the old, downtrodden ill- habits! That's just so in man..
peace xx
cartoons ,smoking and kids...big subliminal tie in.the first and second pieces both tell a wonderful tale.i can feel your bias for one or the other.prototype writer's opinion!nice work.
I love them both!
There is such softness as can be touch especially the second one..
i like both poems but really enjoyed the touch of humor in the second. great deal for us readers ~ two for the price of one.
I dislike smoking so much that the photo hits me as kiddie porn. But your poems are terrific.
I like The Morning Light "God of mussed hair"...like the images in this one...bkm
Tried one ONCE, behind a friend's house when we were kids. I coughed and hacked myself almost to death, and never tried one again.
Oooo, painted faces and getting beyond to masks, yes. Good one.
So glad I never picked up smoking. I dabbled a bit in it as a teen. Glad it never stuck.
xo
Brian, I love that you wrote two! And it's truly hard to decide which one I like best. I kinda like the PSA feel of the first one, as it's really not too PSA. I mean, how do we explain "time stolen//each hit" to children.
Okay, but I've decided, I like the second one best. Not at all sentimental if that's what you're thinking about "going the other way." "Mussed hair" just gets me in this one.
Both are fine writes, my friend!
Those poor kids, to lose the time, and then face the health problems from the second hand smoke on top of it.
I like them both, but I especially like the line "the God of mussed hair."
I think that girl shouldn't smoke so
much, especially at one time. I believe you put it in perspective.
Nice.
Pamela
You sound like my mother. Talking to me. LOL
I was sold on Joe Camel as part of my teenage angst...even used to put the ads up on my bedroom wall just to tick off my parents...while I stood smoking beneath them, thinking I was all that...not feeling quite so cool now :( I'm especially taken with the second one. So few words spark memories of so many morning afters...a nice and unexpected treat...two for one, oh such fun, but for now...this comments' done :)
I've been very busy, but had to come by. Loved your post. "Time stolen" another time, another place...so many things we've been tricked on.
Great poem. I have never smoked but still love it. And the photo works so well with it!
such a gross habit, I really don't get it.
I like them both, Brian.
I like them BOTH.
The hard/worn/wrinkled faces of women...SO MANY of them worn by cigarettes but moreso by LIFE and the hard things it holds for them. Giving up the smokes doesn't make everything okay. It's a start...
Aaacckk!! What's to ever become of 'em butt kissers!!
I love the "time stolen" bit -- very effectively used here in this 160!!
The photograph is AWESOME!! And your words did justice to it...
I quit 22 years ago!! Thank the Lord!!
Hugs
SueAnn
My dad smoked unfiltered Camel's for many, many years. He was diagnosed with lung cancer ten years ago. I watched him suffer through chemo and radiation. It was really sad, he looked so pale and was so sick to his stomach for a while there. Luckily, he's in remission now.
I've never smoked because watching my parents smoke and sitting in a car filled with smoke as a kid was enough to keep me from even trying it.
I watched both my grandfathers spend their last couple of years on oxygen tanks - no smoking in this household!
very interesting piece. well done on the pic. prompt!
Thankfully, I've never done it.
Powerful statement Brian.
Surely, it's not so cool once we are dead
Eh blame. We make choices. Some of them suck. Blame is just suck icing on suck cake.
You said a whole lot in a little Mr Millar. Impressive work!
Smoking stinks! But your poem certainly doesn't! I like the cadence of it.
I think you caught he look - the lost
Nice PSA - smiles
Whitesnake and I are both smoke free. Yay!
I love them both and they are both true! I also smoked for half a century (more, actually) and, thank goodness no harm done. I don't think God is petty-minded at all. Although I do think we should look after our bodies - but we realise it very late in the day, haha.
I must be very ignorant, but what is PSA.:))
Hopefully as time goes by, smoking will be looked upon as a large mistake of mankind. But it will take many generations because cigarettes are so much part of our immediate past and culture.
Luckily I never smoked nor do I like it, but I know how difficult kicking a habit can be.;)
Very poignant message in so few words - you always do it so well.;)
Have a great Monday dear Brian,
xoxo
Oh Brian you never cease to take my breath and all I can do is repeat
I needed this more than you know Brian...
UGH..... Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I ever did................ ugh... and even now.. my addiction to butt kissing still lingers......
I told my hubby on my 90th birthday I m taking it up again
Both so well done. It will be 30 years this June since I last kissed one of those butts. It's frustrating to me that my younger son smokes.. at least occasionally.
oooohhhh yup, have a friend here over the weekend who smokes, it's like the air is sucked through a cloud and becomes dense and tastes bitter. Even just standing next to him outside.
BLECH!
I liked the twofer. ;)
Especially the PSA.
Brilliant! I'm a non-smoker so the first one works for me...
Thanks for this take, Brian! I'm always taken by your precise hand--no flapping superfluities. I read the poems as together not apart. The mood and voice at fist do not pair but they do. Some tweaking? Thanks again.
They are both good! the first was a good PSA. they both made me smile but for different reasons. :)
wow quite an inspirational picture
I hope she just celebrates an unhappy carnaval :p
Sometimes a little PSA isn't so bad, right? I like both poems in different ways. Favorite lines of first poem are, "time stolen, each hit, butt to lip" - great images.
In the second one, "...who smokes in the afterglow on my worship..." - you do paint some wonderful pictures, Brian :)
Thank you for the imagery of Joe Camel's phallic nose. gah.
:-)
Well, I LOVE the first one, so there. :-)
Really good use of 160 words. That's a tough challenge!
I only read the first poem (playing catch-up on the read-the-lists reading) - excellent, especially the closing lines.
The girl in the pic will die soon because of smoke! what for?
What a photo. Chilling.
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