Thursday, February 3, 2011

55 - the problem with gods & dreamsicles

dreamsicle skies
watch as she etches
her arms with psalms
to a god who won't
or can't read them,

his phone just
keeps ringing, no
room for mess-
ages. she's help-
less, more desperate
with each penned letter.

this morning, he left her
and reasons don't matter
just another man
she granted divinity, fallen

dreamsicles
slowly melting

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

95 comments:

Monkey Man said...

Some phone calls shouldn't be taken. Great 55. My 55 is HERE.

David Allen Waters said...

reasons don't matter...

great write:)

blueviolet said...

Can you explain this to me because I'm totally clueless on what it means.

Maybe it's because I watch too much reality tv and it's rotting my brain.

Caty said...

We woman have a tendency of doing that...our next breath dependent on someone else...nice write, Brian :)

deb colarossi said...

Fabulous.

oh angst.
So glad to not have it anymore.

Brian Miller said...

yeah BV...its about finding your identity so much in another (the gods we create) that when they disappear your world means nothing...

Titanium said...

...they both tend to melt when sunlight hits 'em...

You nailed it, Brian.

moondustwriter said...

Easy to hang on that hope ( and divinity) on one star.

Excellent 55

I hope you are writing tomorrow's for me :)

nagging from the mon

G-Man said...

Won't answer eh?
Maybe she should try texting, it works with my kids!
Loved your 55 Son...
You Rocked another one right out!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

rosaria said...

This is so sad! She tried to contact the one she left for another? OH, the problem is not with gods, but with our flawed sense of direction and our communication tools.

darsden said...

Awesomely done!

Always Write said...

hmm another dreamsicle will come along and maybe answer the phone

Vodka Mom said...

if you replace her with him, I'll be happy.

As in just another woman...yadda yadda yadda.

sage said...

It's easy, if we are not careful, to create an idol out of another person...

signed...bkm said...

nice, when loving a man you must love as a man....leaving the divine where it belongs...same goes for men loving women...i like the metaphor of the dreamscicles...almost like a dream cycle....relationship....bkm

clean and crazy said...

this is sad and yet so many go through this. great 55

budh.aaah said...

So very true..and hence painful.But love or the desperation of love doesnt wanttosee..feel that sometimes...

do what you may
for it does not matter
I have peace in my heart
and my love is blind...

KB said...

I wonder why we sometimes make others seem so important when really we are all as important as each other.

CM said...

Sad. I've known women like this. I always want to shake them and say, "Wake up, he's not worth it."

I'm trying to picture the "dreamsicle sky", but can't. A painting or drawing perhaps??? Hint, hint.

Eva Gallant said...

Glad you explained it, 'cause I was lost, too. See, I'm just not that deep. or smart.

Brian Miller said...

eh i hear you...need to work on this one a bit more...or just move on...smiles.

cm...the dreamsicle skies actually came from the sunset tonight...it was a beautiful orange...made me think of dreamsicles...

ds said...

I liked "dreamsicle skies". And i like this--how she idolized/idealized her men only to be disappointed each time beneath the indifferent sun...

TALON said...

Awww, this is so sad, Brian. I hope she realizes how human men really are...

Marla said...

So sad.

Rob said...

Do dreamsicle skies taste as good as they sound. I love dreamsicles.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm with Eva and BV-- Thanks for the note.
Cheers, jj

Cinner said...

Beautiful,,,,reasons don;t matter.smiles.

Kay said...

two words: "dreamsicle skies"

(sigh)

Zuzana said...

This one is sad, it brings to mind broken trust, broken hearts and broken promises - and no forgiveness...or at least not just yet.;) As I am ever the optimist, I make my own endings.;)
Happy Friday dear Brian.;)
xoxo

ladyfi said...

So sad.. Well-written! A good reminder to be independent.

Selina Kingston said...

Oh! You always get it so right. Suddenly, I'm taken back a quarter of a century to that time when I thought I couldn't exist without the big love of my life. It hurts even now ......

anthonynorth said...

Great poem and what an excellent word - dreamsicles.

Valerie said...

I'm also glad you explained it. My brain is obviously not working today.

Tom said...

aha...
nicely worded.

She Writes said...

powerfully written. that first stanza especially so.

Belinda said...

This happens all the time, doesn't it? Making humans god-like from any perspective is often ill-advised. Now I want a creamsicle...

the walking man said...

Good lesson. Never put anyone on a pedestal. It's too hard for them to stay balanced on it and too hard to watch the adored one crash back to humanity.

MorningAJ said...

Sounds like the younger me. Fortunately I finally got one that doesn't melt away!

Pauline said...

Dreamsicle skies that melt into puddles - and broken hearts. You're a master of making beautiful things out of the mundane!

Goofball said...

but tomorrow there is always another day

joanny said...

the heart wants what it wants,, it is true reasons don't matter when it comes to the heart
have a good week end

joanny

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Beautiful and sad. I know her heart, I'm glad God moved me.

annell said...

They were always a fav, and now you write is my fav! Thanks Brian

magiceye said...

poignant

Akelamalu said...

It is so easy to do and such a let down when the truth hits home. :(

TechnoBabe said...

She just needs to stop living in a fantasy and live in reality without expectations that are in a dream, not real. Ok now I am finished lecturing.

Fireblossom said...

ditto what Caty said.

lime said...

i hope she finds she doesn't need her invented gods.

izzy said...

Dreamsicles haven't thought about them in a while! thanks.

Lorraine said...

melting is all about pain...a hurting post

Brian Miller said...

thanks to the ones that said they dont get it..i swizzled a few words which hopefully helps with the clarity...see i do like crit...smiles.

SY said...

nice 55.. you tell so much in so little words.. :)

I participated this week.. come check it out Brian

Magpie said...

I had no trouble understanding this one, Brian. Probably because I can relate too much to it. I love..

"dreamsicle skies
watch as she etches
her arms with psalms
to a god who won't
or can't read them"

Wonderful!

Arnab Majumdar said...

"And so castles made of sand
Melts into the sea
Eventually..."

Cheers,
Joy...

Vodka Logic said...

Fallen dreamsicles... how sad

trisha said...

Very thought provoking poem. intelligent questions raised.

trisha

Mom said...

I like your idea...i agree the gods of this world (not necessarily other people but things) are destroying us from within...thanks for sharing what your idea was..you know me..too literal:)...the sunset was lovely tonight

Stranger said...

Beautifully written, Brian.

Everyday Goddess said...

i can so relate, i gave you one of my weekly awards, i think a lot of us can identify!

drybottomgirl said...

Yep, did this many times before I met my husband. Just gave it all away in an instant....it's a hard lesson to learn. Great 55! Have a super weekend!

Claudia said...

ah - not good at all when he make our partners our gods - felt the hurt of her etching her arms with psalms..

drybottomgirl said...

One more thing: GO PACK GO!!!!!!

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

Wonderfully dream-like, Brian.

I dig this 55 a lot!

autumnraven said...

So very sad. She seems to have no identity at all. She keeps hoping to find it in another...but it always melts away. I know women like that :( My heart breaks for them. Well done.

Teri said...

I think that we should never invest more power in someone other than ourself. We are all flawed, we all have the ability to find the answers. One person does not hold the key. It should be a give and take relationship...sometimes giving, sometimes taking. But, sometimes hard to find the right formula.

Suz said...

granted divinity...
says it all in this poem
just wonderful
...wonder why it took him so long
divinity is heavy

tolbert said...

Good stuff Brian.

Question...55 is a whole different category(?)

this morning, he left her
and reasons don't matter
just another man
she granted divinity, fallen

dreamsicles
slowly melting


Powerful writing here~reasons don't matter~Anyone who has ever experienced the heartbreak of a shattered relationship know this to be so true.

Great write Brian!

Sue said...

Impressive use of your 55.

You said it all and then some.

=)

hpicasso said...

don't think a dreamsicle will heal this

Peace, hp

thanks for stopping by

Mama Zen said...

"just another man
she granted divinity, fallen"

Brilliant writing, Brian.

Alice Audrey said...

So hard to let go, but sometimes that is best.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

So sad. Reminds of a 15 year old who married too young in an effort to define herself. I am feeling sentimental (sort of mental) today...

Margaret Bednar said...

take time for the "other" stuff because one day what is "important" does quite well without you!

Friko said...

dreamsicles?

Jen said...

I thought they left because I refused to grant them divinity...I know at least one did...

Enchanted Oak said...

Wonderful title, Brian. Sort of an "Eeuuww" poem, isn't it? Good job.

otin said...

I was kinda on the right track with what I thought. Not exactly, though. You know I'm dumb, hehehe.

Linda said...

"dreamsicles slowly melting"...this is a sad one.

Arts web show said...

Great one brian, i think this 55 is really good

Ocean Girl said...

Your 55s are too good, and this one outstands.

ModernMom said...

So much pain in these 55!

Irish Gumbo said...

This I understand. Yes, I understand it all too well.

Good work, Brian. Wow.

Ténèbres à la lumière... said...

Hi! Brian...
This is a beautiful use Of 55 words...Even though I got the "gist" Of your poem...Thanks, for explaining and sharing too!
[Brian, I hope that you, and your family have a nice week-end.]
DeeDee ;-D

Jerry said...

Rats! It happened again. Human love gone arye.

Daniel said...

Wow, I have lived this one and know this sense and these feelings. Desperation, loneliness, panic. Begging, pleading, ..., please come back. I'll do anything.

Myrna R. said...

You made me remember my first broken heart (actually my only broken heart over a guy). Great 55.

Liza Ursu said...

desperate never works, but you can't blame a girl for trying!
sounds like all of the rock gods I have adored over the years and still do. my husband is 1st though of course ; )
fantastic imagery!

mama-face said...

Some men are jerks; especially when it comes to love? Or maybe just cowardly?


Not you of course.

Dreamsicles-yummy.

Candie Bracci said...

It's nicely written,I agree with the concept human are just human,but you'd be surprised..hihi.I don't find this sad because those men/women give love to the full,worth more than a bunch of minds trying to repress their feelings.

Mona said...

So much pathos in this one...Perhaps in His larger plans, we sometimes don't fit...

lori said...

So, I keep thinking I'm eventually going to click over and not love what you write. It hasn't happened yet. Loved it, as always :)

Sophia said...

lol @ blueviolet

I think pretty much every one of us can relate to this in our life at some point. God should always be the foundation of our life. This is an amazing write - how DO you do it, oh king of the ink pen? :D

Vicki Lane said...

You are the wizard of brevity.

Rebecca S. said...

The dreamsicle image is a good one - there has to be a tension between give and take in relationships that holds it up. Otherwise, yeah, it just melts if one absorbs too much into the other's pull. Man, I hope that makes some sense!

Boom Boom Larew said...

Brian the Brilliant! Love this one.