dreamsicle skies
watch as she etches
her arms with psalms
to a god who won't
or can't read them,
his phone just
keeps ringing, no
room for mess-
ages. she's help-
less, more desperate
with each penned letter.
this morning, he left her
and reasons don't matter
just another man
she granted divinity, fallen
dreamsicles
slowly melting
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
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95 comments:
Some phone calls shouldn't be taken. Great 55. My 55 is HERE.
reasons don't matter...
great write:)
Can you explain this to me because I'm totally clueless on what it means.
Maybe it's because I watch too much reality tv and it's rotting my brain.
We woman have a tendency of doing that...our next breath dependent on someone else...nice write, Brian :)
Fabulous.
oh angst.
So glad to not have it anymore.
yeah BV...its about finding your identity so much in another (the gods we create) that when they disappear your world means nothing...
...they both tend to melt when sunlight hits 'em...
You nailed it, Brian.
Easy to hang on that hope ( and divinity) on one star.
Excellent 55
I hope you are writing tomorrow's for me :)
nagging from the mon
Won't answer eh?
Maybe she should try texting, it works with my kids!
Loved your 55 Son...
You Rocked another one right out!
Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G
This is so sad! She tried to contact the one she left for another? OH, the problem is not with gods, but with our flawed sense of direction and our communication tools.
Awesomely done!
hmm another dreamsicle will come along and maybe answer the phone
if you replace her with him, I'll be happy.
As in just another woman...yadda yadda yadda.
It's easy, if we are not careful, to create an idol out of another person...
nice, when loving a man you must love as a man....leaving the divine where it belongs...same goes for men loving women...i like the metaphor of the dreamscicles...almost like a dream cycle....relationship....bkm
this is sad and yet so many go through this. great 55
So very true..and hence painful.But love or the desperation of love doesnt wanttosee..feel that sometimes...
do what you may
for it does not matter
I have peace in my heart
and my love is blind...
I wonder why we sometimes make others seem so important when really we are all as important as each other.
Sad. I've known women like this. I always want to shake them and say, "Wake up, he's not worth it."
I'm trying to picture the "dreamsicle sky", but can't. A painting or drawing perhaps??? Hint, hint.
Glad you explained it, 'cause I was lost, too. See, I'm just not that deep. or smart.
eh i hear you...need to work on this one a bit more...or just move on...smiles.
cm...the dreamsicle skies actually came from the sunset tonight...it was a beautiful orange...made me think of dreamsicles...
I liked "dreamsicle skies". And i like this--how she idolized/idealized her men only to be disappointed each time beneath the indifferent sun...
Awww, this is so sad, Brian. I hope she realizes how human men really are...
So sad.
Do dreamsicle skies taste as good as they sound. I love dreamsicles.
I'm with Eva and BV-- Thanks for the note.
Cheers, jj
Beautiful,,,,reasons don;t matter.smiles.
two words: "dreamsicle skies"
(sigh)
This one is sad, it brings to mind broken trust, broken hearts and broken promises - and no forgiveness...or at least not just yet.;) As I am ever the optimist, I make my own endings.;)
Happy Friday dear Brian.;)
xoxo
So sad.. Well-written! A good reminder to be independent.
Oh! You always get it so right. Suddenly, I'm taken back a quarter of a century to that time when I thought I couldn't exist without the big love of my life. It hurts even now ......
Great poem and what an excellent word - dreamsicles.
I'm also glad you explained it. My brain is obviously not working today.
aha...
nicely worded.
powerfully written. that first stanza especially so.
This happens all the time, doesn't it? Making humans god-like from any perspective is often ill-advised. Now I want a creamsicle...
Good lesson. Never put anyone on a pedestal. It's too hard for them to stay balanced on it and too hard to watch the adored one crash back to humanity.
Sounds like the younger me. Fortunately I finally got one that doesn't melt away!
Dreamsicle skies that melt into puddles - and broken hearts. You're a master of making beautiful things out of the mundane!
but tomorrow there is always another day
the heart wants what it wants,, it is true reasons don't matter when it comes to the heart
have a good week end
joanny
Beautiful and sad. I know her heart, I'm glad God moved me.
They were always a fav, and now you write is my fav! Thanks Brian
poignant
It is so easy to do and such a let down when the truth hits home. :(
She just needs to stop living in a fantasy and live in reality without expectations that are in a dream, not real. Ok now I am finished lecturing.
ditto what Caty said.
i hope she finds she doesn't need her invented gods.
Dreamsicles haven't thought about them in a while! thanks.
melting is all about pain...a hurting post
thanks to the ones that said they dont get it..i swizzled a few words which hopefully helps with the clarity...see i do like crit...smiles.
nice 55.. you tell so much in so little words.. :)
I participated this week.. come check it out Brian
I had no trouble understanding this one, Brian. Probably because I can relate too much to it. I love..
"dreamsicle skies
watch as she etches
her arms with psalms
to a god who won't
or can't read them"
Wonderful!
"And so castles made of sand
Melts into the sea
Eventually..."
Cheers,
Joy...
Fallen dreamsicles... how sad
Very thought provoking poem. intelligent questions raised.
trisha
I like your idea...i agree the gods of this world (not necessarily other people but things) are destroying us from within...thanks for sharing what your idea was..you know me..too literal:)...the sunset was lovely tonight
Beautifully written, Brian.
i can so relate, i gave you one of my weekly awards, i think a lot of us can identify!
Yep, did this many times before I met my husband. Just gave it all away in an instant....it's a hard lesson to learn. Great 55! Have a super weekend!
ah - not good at all when he make our partners our gods - felt the hurt of her etching her arms with psalms..
One more thing: GO PACK GO!!!!!!
Wonderfully dream-like, Brian.
I dig this 55 a lot!
So very sad. She seems to have no identity at all. She keeps hoping to find it in another...but it always melts away. I know women like that :( My heart breaks for them. Well done.
I think that we should never invest more power in someone other than ourself. We are all flawed, we all have the ability to find the answers. One person does not hold the key. It should be a give and take relationship...sometimes giving, sometimes taking. But, sometimes hard to find the right formula.
granted divinity...
says it all in this poem
just wonderful
...wonder why it took him so long
divinity is heavy
Good stuff Brian.
Question...55 is a whole different category(?)
this morning, he left her
and reasons don't matter
just another man
she granted divinity, fallen
dreamsicles
slowly melting
Powerful writing here~reasons don't matter~Anyone who has ever experienced the heartbreak of a shattered relationship know this to be so true.
Great write Brian!
Impressive use of your 55.
You said it all and then some.
=)
don't think a dreamsicle will heal this
Peace, hp
thanks for stopping by
"just another man
she granted divinity, fallen"
Brilliant writing, Brian.
So hard to let go, but sometimes that is best.
So sad. Reminds of a 15 year old who married too young in an effort to define herself. I am feeling sentimental (sort of mental) today...
take time for the "other" stuff because one day what is "important" does quite well without you!
dreamsicles?
I thought they left because I refused to grant them divinity...I know at least one did...
Wonderful title, Brian. Sort of an "Eeuuww" poem, isn't it? Good job.
I was kinda on the right track with what I thought. Not exactly, though. You know I'm dumb, hehehe.
"dreamsicles slowly melting"...this is a sad one.
Great one brian, i think this 55 is really good
Your 55s are too good, and this one outstands.
So much pain in these 55!
This I understand. Yes, I understand it all too well.
Good work, Brian. Wow.
Hi! Brian...
This is a beautiful use Of 55 words...Even though I got the "gist" Of your poem...Thanks, for explaining and sharing too!
[Brian, I hope that you, and your family have a nice week-end.]
DeeDee ;-D
Rats! It happened again. Human love gone arye.
Wow, I have lived this one and know this sense and these feelings. Desperation, loneliness, panic. Begging, pleading, ..., please come back. I'll do anything.
You made me remember my first broken heart (actually my only broken heart over a guy). Great 55.
desperate never works, but you can't blame a girl for trying!
sounds like all of the rock gods I have adored over the years and still do. my husband is 1st though of course ; )
fantastic imagery!
Some men are jerks; especially when it comes to love? Or maybe just cowardly?
Not you of course.
Dreamsicles-yummy.
It's nicely written,I agree with the concept human are just human,but you'd be surprised..hihi.I don't find this sad because those men/women give love to the full,worth more than a bunch of minds trying to repress their feelings.
So much pathos in this one...Perhaps in His larger plans, we sometimes don't fit...
So, I keep thinking I'm eventually going to click over and not love what you write. It hasn't happened yet. Loved it, as always :)
lol @ blueviolet
I think pretty much every one of us can relate to this in our life at some point. God should always be the foundation of our life. This is an amazing write - how DO you do it, oh king of the ink pen? :D
You are the wizard of brevity.
The dreamsicle image is a good one - there has to be a tension between give and take in relationships that holds it up. Otherwise, yeah, it just melts if one absorbs too much into the other's pull. Man, I hope that makes some sense!
Brian the Brilliant! Love this one.
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