Tuesday, January 18, 2011

One Shot: I AM, not stupid or blind

i have an eye for beauty
just one, the other sees the ugly
barely maintaining balance
two kids on a seesaw

when one jumps off
sending tail bone into throat
careful or you'll choke
it's just that i look in

unusual places, hoping not
to have my one good eye poked out
by prying fingers trying to keep
us ignorant under smog colored rainbows,

perfection isnt pretty, chiseled
out on the edge of the mad doctor's
blade, nip, tuck, snip, suck
thin enough to pick my teeth

after sunday dinner, chicken,
mashed potatoes n' peas, round in
all the right places, over
rib bone xylaphones plink, plink,

plink, childrens songs woven in
the message we sell them, they
are not good enough, smart enough
to do much beyond whats already been

done by our generation, nothing new
under the sun, beating down on our
backs, dying lonely among crowds
of people all walking the same direction

but then again thats just visual
on pages glossy til sticky
in mens facilities, i like to find
mine in the scents of those tender

places i nuzzle and salt of your neck,
lick like they lure deer in for the kill,
you slay me, but thats just sexual,
nothing inside, blood pump-pump-pumping

me round back to the heart of the matter,
scarred but still thumping, yet willing
to whistle a tune for the deaf ones
that can not afford much more than

a free meal at the shelter, helter
skelter flowers growing in cracks
on the sidewalk, or pots broken
glued back together and painted

by children in big blotch blossoms,
roots deep in earth's busom, suckling
sweet nectar, living water, not
stagnant pretending jesus loving only

so far as it threatens your life,
creating stife in your comfort,
what is it that scares you when
you look in the mirror, unable to

write beauty in big bold letters with
black permanent marker beneath your
smile and believe it, more than vultures
picking your carcass, how does this

skirt make my ass look, beautiful baby
just beautiful & i'd be stupid to say
or think otherwise & we both know
i am not stupid, just blessed with

an eye that sees beauty, another that
sees ugly, that together see reality,
or maybe just a bit beyond it.

One Shot Wednesday - Poetry in Motion, write one, come join us. I am hosting tonight and will open the flood gates open at 5 pm EST.

127 comments:

Kay said...

wow! what a ride!

may your good eye always remain in tact!

and your bad....

bring forth the balance.

Nessa said...

This has such a great sing songy rhythm to it with the slightly rhyming words and the alliterations. Very energetic.

Lori said...

Wow! Just wow...I sit here almost speechless after reading this not twice but three times. Brilliant words Brian...you really struck a chord inside my soul today.

Brian Miller said...

thanks ladies this one just ripped last night once i got going...really wanted to do it spoken word but my day has gotten away from me...maybe next week...

Heather Grace Stewart said...

So much depth here. I loved it. Especially liked "dying lonely among crowds of people all walking the same direction"
Excellent Brian, thanks so much for the read.

willowwishfree said...

OOOH strong internal rhyme. Feels like something that would be read at a poetry slam. Maybe you should post an audio reading....

Daniel said...

I feel much the same way. It is an uneasy struggle, contentious and bitter at times.

budh.aaah said...

This one dragged me way down way too deep with it..very nice

Captain Dumbass said...

The the back and forth in this one. Bet it would sound great out loud.

Sue said...

(I'd say a good bit beyond it.)

This poem rocks. Every image, rhythm, inflection, and reflection.

And you, my friend, are a poet with some serious skills.

=)

annell said...

You amaze me Brian! Such a wonderful write! Those eyes that see reality...the balance, perfect.

signed...bkm said...

really like this Brian...love the balance of the two eyes...seeing reality...great weaving back and forth from beauty to ugly...in the end all is perfect....nice...bkm

Eva Gallant said...

I like the good eye and ugly eye balancing...reality.

drybottomgirl said...

So good to read your writing. Yes, how blessed you are to be able to see beauty, reality. We are too hard on ourselves, never realizing that God made us all beautiful. We fall slaves to physical while ignorning the true beauty that lies within. Thank you for reminding me of what is sooo important.....

repressedsoul said...

aren't we all a bit of beauty and ugly...your lucky your eyes see both! Usually my mono sighted eyes only see what they want to see ;)

Great one shot Brian
x

Unknown Mami said...

I particularly enjoyed this piece because at the moment I have one eye that is giving me trouble. I'm treasuring my good eye.

dustus said...

Way to rock One Shot, Mr. Emcee! Had me at "nip, tuck, snip, suck / thin enough to pick my teeth" Great writing.

Steve Isaak said...

Realistic, song-wraparound feel, with a touch of bristle to spice the works. Good stuff.

Hilary said...

So many have skewed eyes for beauty. Yours always seem to see the truth.. the true beauty in people.

Claudia said...

i l o v e it! nip, tuck, snip, suck - and - no - perfection isn't pretty - we all know somehow - but tend to forget...always have to balance my eyes out..and sometimes just close the one which tells me ugly is reality..
great write brian - and can't wait to hear you read...

Mairi said...

I'm impressed. Really wonderfu pacing here, and the seamless flow from one observation to another, completely different yet related in the telling, in the movement of the work. I love the rhyming, already commented on her and the way the whole plays with both the ear and the mind.
Thanks for dropping by Secret poems and introducing your self.

Dulce said...

with those both eyes of you- for sure you can see beyond

Mairi said...

Pardon all the typos in my previous. I'm trying to type over a cat who keeps hitting various keys. Neither of us can see the keyboard.

Kate Hanley said...

I just read your comment about doing it spoken word and I definitely agree. I could really hear the poem as I read it. Really good.

David Allen Waters said...

you sure know how to take us on a wild ride;)

nance marie said...

only wink with the ugly seeing eye

liv2write2day said...

Oh this is such strong writing and chock full of images and thought-provoking tidbits. One to read over and over because I can't digest it all at once. Great one shot, Brian.

Jill said...

This has SO MUCH in it. SO much. I believe there can be beauty in almost anything....but SOME/MANY will never see it.

blueviolet said...

Seriously, my brain is exhausted after trying to process all that!

anthonynorth said...

Great words. Ah, those opposites.

Timoteo said...

Aahhhh...sumptuous...delicious...

Mighty M said...

What a read!!!!

Tina said...

You rocked it out with this one. Very powerful, and yes definitely record it for us. I heard the rhythm in my head and loved it, with the skillful alliteration, gentle rhymes, and such awesome pairing of the two extremes. You have great (in)sight! Now my favorite of yours.

Friko said...

This is a truly powerful and relentless poem, full of so many emotions that are part of the human condition.

Very good indeed.

Me said...

One day, I'd love to hear you read some of your work. And if you ever do post a recording, I really hope you do this one. Such rhythm...it just calls to be read aloud.
-C

Mama Zen said...

You definitely see a bit beyond, Brian. Wonderful work.

william said...

AMAZING WHAT THE EYE CAN SEE MATE, SUPERB POST :)

Asobime said...

Now, THAT is a long poem that didn't bore or stumble.

I have to read it again, Brian, but it shrieks truth and love, and perhaps sanity.

Both eyes equal reality. That is goooooood line!

Lady Nyo

marousia said...

Strong poem - it was long but packed full of vivid images

mama-face said...

wow. wow. wow. i love this.

bumfuzzled said...

love how you so smoothly transition from image after image and always maintain focus on where to find beauty :)

Hope said...

this says it for me

'write beauty in big bold letters with
black permanent marker beneath your
smile and believe it, more than vultures
picking your carcass, how does this'

awesome write, Brian!
thank you

moondustwriter said...

I'm glad other people said wow too

I liked the big marker - such a reflection of faux happiness

Nice One Shot

Ranee Dillon said...

It was interesting, in the end, how one eye seeing beauty and the other seeing ugly come together to create reality. As always, your imagery is strong and thought provoking. Well done!

hedgewitch said...

Nice stream of consciousness with a wide-ranging focus, yet narrowing down to a very simple message--and a lot of great lines as well--"...perfection isnt pretty, chiseled/out on the edge of the mad doctor's /blade.." no indeed.

River said...

Loved it! Like the first comment what a ride .I was just on flying through your mind. Brian, yes you see reality in its truth but even more you see beyond. :)

tattytiara said...

You're really pulling out some hard core creative imagery these days. Very cool.

Fragrant Liar said...

Yes! One good eye and one bad one inside the mind. The whole world exists in one's perception. As does my big ass in this skirt.

TALON said...

Neat - the blending of the vision...the raw grit and the raw beautiful.

Brian Miller said...

FL...snort...lol

Greyscale Territory said...

The line that resonates for me is... "Perfection isnt pretty..." That should be an axiom! Your eyes recognise the dual/duel action of reality! A powerful piece!

Cheryl said...

Sweet one Brian. Balance is all.

Old Ollie said...

Solid one shot - keep 'em coming.

Beachanny said...

As I sometimes do, I read the title last but damn this is good and in the end it ties the idea back to the title with reality the mean, the level between. You took us through front doors and back .. a tour of your interior neighborhood, I'd say.
What a way to go! Thank you, Brian, Excellent!

Shewriting said...

I'm with nance on this one, just wink with the eye that sees ugly...or put a pirate patch on it...or come to my house, we are expecting 7 inches of snow tomorrow (yah, I know, another fricking snow day home with the kids - insert eyeroll here)

...anyway, come on by and I'll hit you in that ugly eye with a snow ball (<----a seriously bad-taste reference to a recent post of mine ;)

Reggie said...

Nice one Brian...I really like the flow of it. I have to agree with @dustus, nip, tuck, snip, got me...good write.

Pastor Sharon said...

Well, if you had been the guest speaker at my church saying what was just written here. . . it is beautiful enough, real to the core, and we would have stood, clapped, said "amen" and went home!

You brought this all home with many topics and great depth!

Once again, I love your work!

Thoughts Not Lost said...

Love this, just flows and is so clever, amazing!

PattiKen said...

Wow, Brian. Just...wow. I saw your comment that it just "ripped." Holy smoke, if anything like that just ripped from me, it'd leave me in pieces.

secret agent woman said...

Watched "Surrogates" tonight - a movie about our obsession with plastic perfection taken tot the extreme at the expense of real human interaction.

ethelmaepotter! said...

"an eye that sees beauty, another that sees ugly, that together see reality, or maybe just a bit beyond it." Beauiful summary, and it may have been almost enough, but I am so grateful you took us along on this magnificent journey.

She Writes said...

Brian... Wow. just wow. Nice cadence, as well. But wow. I'd say you are many things, and stupid is not among them.

Ocean Girl said...

The ending is perfect! Your words flow and fill every corner of the mind today Brian.

gayle said...

I have said this before and will say it again........you need to put these in a book!

Wonderful!

Magpie said...

Balance...so very necessary. I love the seesaw image.

Laura Lynn said...

I got lost in this poem....you gripped me. I couldn't break from it. The last lines are the best.....

Smart Mouth Broad said...

I don't know how you do it but Bravo, my friend. Another thought-provoking soul talker.

Diana Lee said...

I've not heard you read as yet, but would love to hear this one. Very visual throughout and frenetic...in a good way :-)

G-Man said...

I guess you need to be a bit Cross-Eyed to see things Not in the extreme!!
Great viewpoint Son.....

rosaria said...

Wow. You got so much here to think about. Keep that good eye!

Chris G. said...

And what a blessing it is. Too many are blind in one of those eyes...leaving them too oft pessimist, or too oft optimist; mistaking ugly for beauty and true beauty for ugliness; and neither's a good path to blindly follow. Balance, in all things, leads to healthy lives.

Got the good slam feel to it, as your stuff so often does. Great, realistic visuals showing opposites and truths - highlighting thoughts we could all afford to ponder.

adeeyoyo said...

This has to be one of your best, Brian - so many truths about today's society...

Stranger said...

Ooh! Nicely expressed - one eye for beauty and the other for ugly together revealing reality! The view of the kids, the lover, and the perfectly beautiful imperfections are so endearing - what you share of your heart and sight are, in my opinion, beautiful.
Oh, and I'm not stupid either and never ask anyone if my butt looks big in this skirt. That part made me laugh and of course I had to read it to my husband who is not stupid either... (this is me smiling.)

The Empress said...

Wonderful poetry. Wonderfully written,yes...but the thoughts it brings out.

This is life. One eye that sees this, and the other eye that sees that.

how can you explain what only you see? When the world only sees what their own eye makes visible to them?

I really enjoyed this, and reading it so slowly.

Zuzana said...

You paint pictures with your words, I use all my senses when I read your work - and most of all my sixth sense, my perception awakens from it slumber.
Beauty and love lies in mundane and ordinary. In the familiar and covert, as it need not to be flamboyant to be seen.;)
Have a great day dear Brian,
xoxo
PS: And well deserved of POTW mention!;)

ladynimue said...

what a brilliant post !!! i regret being busy 'cause i miss reading your blog !

Baino said...

Close the other eye.

Shadow said...

this IS poetry in motion!!!!!

slommler said...

A ride...yes a ride into the world of Brian! And it had all the bells ringing and all the right words....singing!!!!!!
Fabulous Brian...just fabulous!!
Congrats on your POTW!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Harnett-Hargrove said...

This tumbles out like a storm. Well done. (It practically reads itself!) -J

LauraX said...

a blessing to see with both eyes brian...indeed what is real...too often we close one and miss the full picture...creating more suffering than is necessary, whether it is the eye that ONLY sees beauty or the one that ONLY sees ugly...yes a blessing a gift to witness the balance of the two.

LauraX said...

a blessing to see with both eyes brian...indeed what is real...too often we close one and miss the full picture...creating more suffering than is necessary, whether it is the eye that ONLY sees beauty or the one that ONLY sees ugly...yes a blessing a gift to witness the balance of the two.

JStar said...

Very nice Brian...I would so love to hear you perform this

Lorraine said...

You're an artist in every way, I believe you see the beauty

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

I can totally relate to this one. I know the passionate that stirs regardless of supposed beauty standards, to see deeper than the mere surface of things. That's love, and it's all the beauty a man needs.

You've really outdone yourself here, Brian.

Jerry said...

Zoowie Brain. Had to read this aloud or fall off and hurt myself. This is poetry slam stuff. Good. Good. Good.

izzy said...

One eye for beauty- one not- and where
do they meet ? indeed...Do you know horses see 2 separate images and react two different ways, accordingly! (each
eye is wired separately to 1/2 their brain) Whew that would be confusing...
Thanks for the good work!

the walking man said...

Nice free flow Brian. Comes around after rambling about the neighborhood to very good point--beyond. That is where all of should look for a bit while tempers cool and the pot loses a little bit of it's fieriness. close the stink eye for a time and start to let the one that views the bare, the plain and the simple open for a bit.

Lori said...

I had to stop back and say congrats on POTW at Hilary's...I had a feeling Hilary would recognize this post...it is brilliant as most of yours are but something about this one screams of being spectacular...very well deserved Brian.

ladyfi said...

A wonderful look at reality - and beyond!

Alan Burnett said...

That balance between the eye that sees beauty and the eye that sees ugly resonated with me as this morning, as I walked Amy through some beautiful countryside, I was listening to an Audiobook of Andrew Roberts "The Storm of War" and we were up to the chapter describing some of the more brutal of the war crimes committed during that dreadful time. In my case it was both eyes that saw beauty and my one ear that heard ugly.

Vicki Lane said...

Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow!

Lucy Fur Leaps said...

Yes! Love this- I have a 'wonky' eye and have written poetry about it and it informs my 'world view'...really relate to this and the dialectical tension. Need to read it again now :-)

Arts web show said...

Lol, what a trip of randomness you wrote.
Randomness that fits together.
Another great one from you, this

Myrna R. said...

This one is special Brian. It seems to have emerged from the depths of an enlightened soul, which you are. Your soul sees duality and knows all is perfect and adds up to One. Keep using both your eyes,I suppose each has its purpose.

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Brian,

Wonderful that you have two different eyes-one for beauty and the other for ugly.In this way you can have a balanced view of everything.

Most of us look only at beauty and ignore the ugly.I suppose everything has both beauty and ugliness built into them.

Great poem Brian,beautifully written with the skill of a master.
Joseph

tolbert said...

"i'd be stupid to say
or think otherwise & we both know
i am not stupid, just blessed with

an eye that sees beauty, another that sees ugly, that together see reality, or maybe just a bit beyond it."

i love this entire poem and the ending wraps it up so nicely. I have had no vision in my right eye for many years and suddenly, with the loss, I realized the importance of the remaining eye...now, because of your beautiful work here, i also know the importance of seeing all things through my one eye and hoping to process it all as beautiful. Thanks so much.

Thanks also for visiting my site again Brian. You teach me through poems such as this!

Natasha said...

I agree with Kay...what a ride indeed! Social issues, social injustice, intolerance, stupididty indeed. I like your good eye much better, please be gentle with it. You have given me oh so much to ponder with this particular piece that further commenting may have to wait until later! Loved it!!!! :)

Pat said...

Some powerful writing here. The yin/yang of life - the good and the bad. We have to have some bad to appreciate the good I guess.

flaubert said...

Wow, what a poem, I love the balance you have created with your words.
Pamela

natalee said...

holy ride!!! woohoo... my favorite line....write beauty in big bold letters with
black permanent marker beneath your
smile...................

Gigi Ann said...

I had to chuckle, right off, at remembering when one jumps off the seesaw, sending tail bone into throat, it happened to me many times when I was but a little bitty child, oh, so long ago, I can still feel the bump on the rump...

jessicakristie.com said...

Great writing! Intense and WOW, is right. Love it.

Kavita said...

Wheeww1! Brillianto!! Rhythmic and powerful.. a hard combination to achieve.. and you've done it with style, Brian!
Loved those last few lines.. one eye sees the ugly, one, the beauty, and together, they see reality..and sometimes, a bit beyond...
I really liked the honesty these words conveyed!!! Very admirable!
WOW!

Carys said...

This is a great write Brian, sharp imagery and it has real pace. I'm a big fan of enjambment but in a couple of areas the line breaks didn't feel quite right and this impeded the flow a little for me. I wondered if you'd considered putting it in tercets with longer lines and using a little more punctuation to guide your reader?

Love these lines

when one jumps off
sending tail bone into throat
careful or you'll choke - throat/choke works really well here and the vision the tail bone to the throat conjures up just nails it.

haikulovesongs said...

"an eye that sees beauty, another that
sees ugly, that together see reality,
or maybe just a bit beyond it."

Truly stunning poem, Brian! One that I know I can get something new from with every reading. Maybe you'll find the time later to do an audio recording?

dani xo

Joanna Jenkins said...

I've read this three times and am still blown away by it.
High five and congrats on your well-deserved POTW.
jj

sheila said...

WOW, LOVED this! All the people walking in one direction...GREAT line!

darsden said...

I see...the divide...that makes it real.

Jannie Funster said...

Geez, Brian, this is a new depth of brilliant.

So much amazing in here.

xo

Kim Nelson said...

Lyrical and brilliant.

JH said...

Wow this was fabulous! A thought provoking ride into your mind, so far so good. nice one!

Ténèbres à la lumière... said...

Brian said,"an eye that sees beauty, another that
sees ugly, that together see reality,
or maybe just a bit beyond it."


The last line Of course sums it all up for me...as you, point-out what you see with both "eyes" that are the same, but yet, see the same thing differently, at times,but in the end, both "eyes" see realities and beyond.
However, I too like the rhythm and flow Of your poem.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D

RiikaInfinityy said...

Wonderfully written!

I am especially liking the last stanza...

an eye that sees beauty, another that
sees ugly, that together see reality,
or maybe just a bit beyond it.

Which is indeed very true :P Great work ^^~

Heather said...

oooh, i enjoyed this one....an eye for beauty and an eye for the ugly. excellent. intriguing thought, too...xo

RiikaInfinityy said...

Wonderfully written!

I am especially liking the last stanza...

an eye that sees beauty, another that
sees ugly, that together see reality,
or maybe just a bit beyond it.

Which is indeed very true :P Great work ^^~

Marla said...

I have those same eyes I think. Excellent B ~

Anonymous said...

ditto to kay. God bless your eye that sees good.

trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

Birdie said...

what a wonderful rhythm and so much true in the eyes - one seeing the beauty the other the ugly and together the reality - wow Brian!!!

Tess Kincaid said...

Duel vision is a blessing. "Perfection isn't pretty" is a theme I've been pondering this week, as well.

Carrie Burtt said...

I love the way you made me look at how we look at things....this is beautiful Brian! :-)

Felicitas said...

It's certainly important to have balance...though it would be nice to see only beauty!

This slice of life was a real trip, Brian! Well done.

Rebecca S. said...

Wow, Brian. This is powerful and beautiful - a song for the present generation because I see every day how frustrated so many of them are with the apathy that begets apathy in their peers.

Sumit Sarkar said...

"how does this
skirt make my ass look, beautiful baby"..

haha..

The ending is brilliant... :)

Shashi said...

Dear Brian

Reminds me of the discussion in 1930, Einstein had with another Noble Laurette poet from India, Tagore. The truth and beauty and the reality exists because of the seer. Very beautifully told and I enjoyed it throughly.

If you would like to read the transcript of that discussion check it out at my blog shared below...


ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay

Corbie said...

Brian, quite the journey you took us on here. True that you need both sides to really see what is going on in the world. Thank you for sharing.

Sophia said...

What about those who are blind in both, good or bad, because of their own selfishness and pride?...