Sunday, January 16, 2011

One Shoot Sunday: Sun Stand Still


toe to toe
we throw
shadows
gang signs
bloods / crips
your lips
tag mine
street sign
to all that
come near
he's mine

low rider
droppin base
hearts race
your love
this drug
in my vein
goin insane
resistance futile
sun stand still
stop your movement
hold the moment
take a picture
of me with her
so i can remember
shadows
we throw
toe to toe

One Shoot Sunday ~ Picture Prompt Poem

89 comments:

Me said...

Love it. Great energy. :)

Me said...

Hey, I don't think I've EVER had first comment here. :)

Pauline said...

hold the moment so I can remember - poetry does it as well as a camera!

the walking man said...

That is a thoughtful, well stated passion, a kiss should contain between young lovers just finding themselves as one.

I liked the gang references Brian, a truce called, tagged lips. Cool, nicely done.

Deborah said...

Oh I do like that! :o)

dustus said...

Awesome! there's an angst in your lines, amid imagery that is both relevant and revealing of many teens today. Brilliant write!

Cheryl said...

Razzmatazz jazzy mood.

OldSchoolHaiku said...

O to be Young again. Great

Austin said...

great one here, I really liked this!

Lori said...

Perfect words to do with this very cool picture! Happy Sunday.

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

I can never find the words to justify what I read here...

repressedsoul said...

Lol Brian, nice tight write...take a picture of her with me...so I can show the lads that I actually kissed her! Loved the use of single words to stress meaning here.

Claudia said...

oh WOW!!!

we throw
shadows
gang signs
bloods / crips
your lips
tag mine
street sign

this reads like a rap - tight - love it!!!

Glynn said...

The poem reads like an updated, totally energzied version of romeo and Juliet. Nice one, Brian.

tulpen said...

Bad. Ass.

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

this is hot! I'd love to hear it spoken

TechnoBabe said...

That can be in almost every city in America, can't it?

Brian Miller said...

tulpen you just made my day...ha.

Birdie said...

that would be a great song :-) happy Sunday Brian!

annell said...

Well done Brian!

Heather said...

love the way your words complete this picture...yes, i agree with the other comment, to be young again! enjoy your sunday, brian! xxoo

Jerry said...

tight rhythic playful attentive(the sun stood still)

moondustwriter said...

Sweet! This one was harder than I thought it would be. I'll post mine later

Have a great day Bri

Moonie

Shadow said...

a frozen moment in time... if only we could.

Tina said...

My new favorite! Love the rhythm in this one, and yes, like Claudia said, almost like rap. Except I don't generally like rap...so you know you did great ;-)

Gigi Ann said...

Fun and full of energy, never did drugs, and I'm sure if I did, I would go insane, and need a picture to remember the shadows of my mind.

genial said...

love the perspective :)

Vicki Lane said...

I read your naked man post with great interest. It's always been obvious that you're on a journey and have a big story to tell -- this is a good start.

Reminds me somewhat of A SERIOUS MAN -- the Coen Bros. movie we were talking about over at my place...

Myrna R. said...

I like this. Romance between gangs. Reminds me of West Side Story. I sense that your writing reflects the type of work you do.

Raven said...

I love the pace and the rhythm of this piece. It's lively and full of emotion.

Daniel said...

This is the good stuff ...

TALON said...

It's really neat to hear the different interpretations of the amazing shot.

I liked the raw-ness here, Brian.

kaleidoscope said...

the combo of your pic and words...perfection.

Anonymous said...

very very warm and passionate.

trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

Rajlakshmi said...

i loved this one :D wonderfully imagery.

Magpie said...

What to say...you always seem to grasp the moment in time perfectly with your own unique point of view.

Fireblossom said...

I feel a little light headed, Brian. Like standing up too fast or reading a good poem about a kiss!

Carmela-J said...

Love the pace that this builds - awesome write.

Mona said...

that is well done compressed poetry! I love the flow!

Am fine friend. just been busy. Posted some pictures though... :)

Kodjo Deynoo. said...

When you write we all appreciate, nice one mate

Reggie said...

Love this..."sun stand still"...not wanting to lose the moment.

Nice Brian

Colleen said...

I love the energy and the beat in this poem. You are a real artist with your words!

Ami said...

Wow! The rhythm and clipped lines of this really do drive it--such energy!

Recovered Zombie said...

Nice Flow.....
My sons have a group
Conscious Mentalism
They are both Bards, like you also. :D

Dulce said...

shadows of a kiss i saw...or wasn't it here? who knows what's going on over there..:)

hedgewitch said...

You got into their heads with this one, Brian--picture of a kiss at that age nailed.

Pastor Sharon said...

hearts race, your love, this drug in my vein, going insane,

I love that love is that powerful!

This is the schniz!!!

haikulovesongs said...

Brilliant! Absolutely love everything about this, Brian. ♥

ds said...

Love the beat and flow of this. Thank you!

She Writes said...

That's a great picture with this!

Alice Audrey said...

Wonderfully breathless, Brian.

rosaria said...

All Right! Put this in a Rap beat and go!

Greyscale Territory said...

Snappy, pent up energy in each line that ensures the poem sounds sharp with teenage attitude! Beautiful sense of atmosphere re-creating a youthful love connection!

Kulio said...

You really need to hook up with a band, seriously!

deb said...

toe to toe... so cool

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
Great flow...to this poem
Great Rhythm...to this poem
Great picture...that compliment your poem.
Thanks, for sharing, this very vivid, and descriptive poem.
DeeDee ;-D

itslovelyannie.com said...

wow!

gang signs and tagged lips...

Brian your ability to create is inspiring...

I just keep reading this one over and over...its full, rich, emotional, vulnerable, edgy...and, well, cool.

willowwishfree said...

I like the idiosyncratic word pairings here... Gang signs and young love... Brings to mind the feigned toughness of youth, the false bravado that hides the trembling knees and sweaty palms.

California Girl said...

Hi Brian, the title suggested something ominous but the content is anything but. I honestly thought I might be reading about the shooter in Tucson even though he didn't commit his crime on a Sunday. This was, instead, a pleasant surprise with economical imagery.

booguloo said...

We need to RUN through that one again.. Catch my breath will ya?

sage said...

Nice movement to the poem. Well done.

ladyfi said...

Wonderful emotions and energy!

Alegria Imperial said...

"your love/this drug in my vein..." The sound of young love, perfectly metered here, Brian! I love the pace like leaping heartbeats. Thanks for sharing it!

Jen said...

Wish I could find that...

adeeyoyo said...

Wow, I love this!

budh.aaah said...

Wow Brian! You have done it yet again.

Chris G. said...

One I like best read aloud...has a good beat and a quick pace to it. Flows nicely. Certainly modern, hitting up at the culture of today...while still giving us an energetic young coming together.

Joanna Jenkins said...

My head was bobbing to the beat. Nice job.
jj

Dianne said...

nie assonance, keep up the light heartedness, life is too dark
Di

Zuzana said...

In the end it is all about love...
Have a great Monday dear Brian,
xoxo

boycottamericanwomen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Brian Miller said...

boycot...leave a comment if you like but dont spam just to get attention...

Lorraine said...

Triple wow, wow

Gaston Studio said...

Really nice one Brian!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You always draw me in with your poetry and prose, Brian. Wonderful talent.

CJ xx

Deidra said...

I have a "toe to toe" of my husband and me when we were dating. Must go dig it out.

slommler said...

There is a nice rhythm to this piece Brian! Loved it!
Hugs
SueAnn

Marla said...

I smiled all the way through to the end. Love it, B ~

AngelMay said...

Really liked it, Brian. Liked the "sun stand still" imagery. Well done.

BLOGitse said...

ooo, this is cool!

Nessa said...

Just like a mini Westside Story.

Nezzy said...

WoW...this was just awesome!

God bless and have a marvelous week sweetie!!!

Captain Dumbass said...

I love the short chopped feel.

Birdie said...

hi Brian! just stopping by to ask how are you doing today? ...

Syd said...

Even gang members have tender moments.

secret agent woman said...

A nice contrast between the closeness and the gang imagery.

Justin said...

I like this one. Makes me think of high school.

Sumit Sarkar said...

"so i can remember
shadows
we throw
toe to toe"....

Nice work :)

lori said...

This makes me happy :)