Thursday, January 20, 2011

55 - significance


& all
that creeps
& crawls
& all
that fly
or swim
these city streets
i walk
i give names

to let you
know that
you've been
seen behind
those drawn shades
& even when
the lights
dim, your name
they can't
take away

no one can
take away

no one can
take away

significance

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

104 comments:

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

and that's pretty damn creepy :)

moondustwriter said...

No one can Bri- every person no matter how insignificant does matter.

You are so good at reminding us

Have a great weekend - can't wait til tomorrow and our new feature at OSP

Moonie

Magpie said...

Just a little spooky here, Brian. Could go both ways with this one. :)

tattytiara said...

You've pared this right down to it's essence, I like that.

Brian Miller said...

ok,, so it was not supposed to be creepy...more uplifting, but i can see how you could read it that way...oh well...always open to interpretation...lol

azfree said...

I'm not sure if this is romantic or stalker-like, but either way I really like the rhythm of it and the words.

Sue said...

Why does this one give me that little Stephen King-like chill?

Betsy said...

I'm sure it would mean a lot to them to know that you even notice and care!

deb said...

Brian,
this is redemption,
this is all of us wanting to be named , no?

Ocean Girl said...

Significantly true.

G-Man said...

Or a Bad Reputation!
Very positive story Son...
Loved your very significant 55 Brian.
Thanks for playing, thanks for your wonderful support, and have a Kick Ass Week-End....G

Heather said...

hmmm. everyone is signifigant....yes!

McGillicutty said...

This I like... alot.

Eva Gallant said...

Yes, we are all significant...an easy thing to forget.

She Writes said...

I am wondering if that's true. Not for me, but for those who seem to have lost theirs.

Hope said...

significance
I like that!

Teresa said...

I just love coming here. You always make me think. Very nice 55.

Jannie Funster said...

Hmmmn, very significant post.

I bet your significant other recognizes your significnt talent.

xo

Daniel said...

I did not read this as creepy as some others have. As I know you a bit, I understand how observant you are to those alone and those hurting. Blessings to you for your devotion and caring and attention.

Vodka Mom said...

the things that weigh
and mark
and remind
are the ones that hold


significance.

rosaria said...

It speaks to all of us, deep down.

5thsister said...

I'd be kind of sort of interested in some of the names you'd give to the creepy crawlies, the fliers or the swimmers! ;o)

Seriously...I liked the flow of this and didn't take it creepy at all (but I do see how it might translate that way after it was mentioned)

Sandi McBride said...

You always amaze and I'd bet your very orderly mind carries over into real life...or would I be wrong?
Sandi

Always Write said...

Reminds me of elderly people - they seldom get seen and often forgotten.

This is a great look from the outside in

I just tried one this week

http://alwayswriteblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/frozen-frame-friday-flash-fiction.html

Alice Audrey said...

But it's so hard to remember that when you're one of many walking down the street.

Cloudia said...

Significance!



Aloha from Honolulu
Comfort Spiral

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Brian Miller said...

thats more what i was going for...how significant we feel when someone uses our name...and those that have not heard theirs for a while or maybe lost theirs along the way...

Me said...

I didn't get creepy from this, not at all.

When I finished reading, I wanted to say thank you, because it felt like you were saying hi. Is that weird? :)

Sumit Sarkar said...

awesome 55...
i loved reading it :)

Lori said...

Yes we all want to be significant and yet some of us lose sight of ours or let others take it away...thank you for reminding me of this!

Katherine said...

There is much in a name .. and it's nice to be acknowledged for who we are as individuals ... and it is true what you say Brian. Some of us may lose our jobs, our houses, our health among many other things but there is one thing that stays true for each and every one of us ... No one can take away our name. Love this!!

Jodi said...

I didn't think this was creepy, but it made me curious about the story behind it. It made me think of a lonely elderly person. I don't know why.

Reggie said...

So true my friend, so true....love the way you captured "everything" in the beginning.

Thank you Brian...I so needed this.

Stranger said...

I love this - I didn't get the creepy vibe but can see how the intensity could be read as creepy. I read it as being about the caring writer writing what others' keep silent, making sure that no one is left invisible, forgotten or feeling insignificant and unloved. Very positive.

ds said...

...and Adam continued down the street, naming things, marking them significant. We can never lose our significance, so long as we are named, known, truly seen.How many have lost that(I think of Amy's post)? And you are that Adam, giving people their names...

Zuzana said...

I like it as to me this about preserving integrity. Keeping pristine and unblemished what is deep inside, no matter what is surrounding us.;)
Have a great TGIF dear Brian,
xoxo

Shadow said...

mmm, yes, everything fulfills its purpose... thus. significant.

anthonynorth said...

Oh yes, we all have significance. Great words.

Belinda said...

A beautiful message for anyone who feels all alone. And thank you for reminding us how connected we all truly are.

budh.aaah said...

This is so tender full of love..

Birdie said...

it's very beautiful Brian :-) have a wonderful w-e with yours!

slommler said...

All of us have a purpose...we are all significant! That is an amazing thought!! Little old me...necessary...here on earth! Wow!!
What an exciting and uplifting thought!! Thanks for the reminder!
Hugs
SueAnn

the walking man said...

Like it very much. Every living thing has significance. Though we know that the word itself is generic and implies neither good or evil. Everything has significance.

Tabor said...

Wonderful. Lets me know that you would be loyal and honest no matter what happened.

TechnoBabe said...

Every breath each person takes is significant. Each critter walking or flying is significant. Your writing reminds me that we all are in this together as part of the universe and so we are all connected.

Alan Burnett said...

Significance - the life-blood of blogging. Nice.

Cheryl said...

Uplifting here, Brian. I guess it depends on the mood of the reader. Hope wraps itself all around this one.

Lorraine said...

You've said right Brian, and that's an understatement

Barbara said...

Scary, Brian. Are you getting paranoid? Are we all?

Mom said...

Brian..significant in my life:)...not creepy to me...know and love the clock.

izzy said...

You've been seen! and we do leave trails-
hopefully some are significant- Thanks.

annell said...

The action of the streets, you got it! Thanks

drybottomgirl said...

I like the signifigance in "naming" something. It gives anything (even objects) a signifigance. So in a city full of names, each individual is important and that can't be taken away. Have a great weekend.....

MorningAJ said...

That's gorgeous!

Have a wonderful weekend. You do the mountains - we're doing a river valley :)

Valerie said...

Good or bad, we are all significant.

TALON said...

Everyone leaves an imprint...

I loved this 55, Brian.

Pauline said...

even if you have just 55 words, you manage to be profound :)

hope said...

I'm going to take the optimistic route that everyone deserves to be noticed as worthy of something. ;)

Scott said...

hmmmmm makes me think alot once we are, we are... and we're al signinficant in one way or another, even if not significant to all, we're significant to us.

Kay said...

swoon... i am putty in your hands

excellent.

Eric 'Bubba' Alder said...

No once can take away this 55's significance, that's for sure!

Nice job, Brian!

Myrna R. said...

I think I got the gist of this. Maybe 'cause I grew up in New York City I understand how insignificant one can feel, but how significant we really are.

sage said...

We should cherish our names... Nice, I didn't see it as creepy

Nessa said...

Love it because it made me want to read it several times which I did.

Monkey Man said...

So true.

Cad said...

That makes me feel better about my insignificant self! LOL

Akelamalu said...

That was definitely a significantly good 55!

Felicitas said...

I don't think this is creepy at all. I think it's a beautiful idea: Everything, everyone matters - just because we are.

Felicitas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
natalee said...

wow..... significance....i like it

Pearl said...

I love this, and feel the same way about the intimate anonymity of the city...

Pearl

Mama Zen said...

Brian, this is stripped down gorgeous. I love it!

... Paige said...

I'm glad you said it was supposed to be uplifting, cause that's what I got from it.

well done, loved the pacing

Friko said...

One of the days I am going to come here early and not right at the end of everybody's commenting.

Still, I never have much to say other than how your poems move me and I wish I could just do that too.

Yvonne Osborne said...

The one thing they aren't supposed to be able to take away... your name. Love it Brian! And kinda creepy, this: "you've been seen behind those drawn shades".

blueviolet said...

I'd like to think it's something we all give each other as fellow humans. One can hope.

Lulda Casadaga said...

I try and notice all that is around me...even in a city setting there is significant beings great and small...:)

Margaret Bednar said...

hmm. I thought that was taken care of in first chapter of Genesis. ;)

AngelMay said...

Brian, just once I'd like to be less than the 4,562nd person to comment. ;o)

Kaylen said...

I try to see everyone...I think most people prefer to ignore most people.

Significance.

Well said!

Sophia said...

The question is, how do they realize that they most certainly do matter, regardless? Where do they find that faith to swing open the curtains wide instead of continuing to peak out the blinds unnoticed by the world that surrounds them?

Caty said...

sometimes the smallest things can be the most significant in a moment. great 55!

RNSANE said...

You have x-ray vision to see inside those dark place, behind the shades and curtains and I suspect you know all that takes place inside...the shadow knows!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I read this as very positive-- Nice 55.
jj

Kavita said...

Woww..this is so good, Brian.. we do have a way of attaching names to all those things that even mean the slightest to us... we remember those things by those names.. funny way our minds work in..don't you think?! :)
The power of association indeed!!

The Empress said...

I have long thought this.

Significance.

It's what people need, and crave.

Without it,there is violence.

We need to know we count, we need to be respected.

How many young people use a gun to demand respect?

It's so scarce, to be noticed...that violence ends up being the only way to get it.

This happens. When not even your own mother sees you as significant.

This is wonderful, Brian. I think of how many young people would love to read your words.

To know that someone understands.

Anonymous said...

splendid climax. that last line said it all.

Have a marvelous weekend.
Trisha
Mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

Arts web show said...

The final five lines, the repetition and the word significance are a great conclusion this 55 was building up to.
Great job here Brian

Paul C said...

How true about the city where many people ironically seek anonymity and isolation.

ladyfi said...

You're right - we all matter in some way, no matter how small we feel.

SY said...

This is so true. We give to much power to the speculators..no one can take away our significance

CM said...

It's easy to get lost in the city. That's why we need to find our significance in the right places, whether it be faith, family or friends. Although there are those that have none of the above.

Carrie Burtt said...

I love this Brian....all things have significance...even the harships and negative things....:-)

Brian Miller said...

just an fyi....out of town til sunday...see you then...

~b

secret agent woman said...

This brings the Jim Croce song "I've got a Name" to mind.

PattiKen said...

Nice, Brian. You give voice to the voiceless.

Ténèbres à la lumière... said...

Hi! Brian...
I too think that the word "significance" is very important and your use Of the words here in your poem just MAGNIFY just how important the word...Significance" is among your fellow man/woman kind.
Thanks, for sharing a nice use Of 55 words too!
DeeDee ;-D

Goofball said...

naming things is so powerful!

Sex, Drugs and Bacon Sandwiches said...

Sometimes it's too easy to forget this... I really wanted to be your 100th - but I'm not patient ;)

Sh@s said...

Everybody is precious no matter how big or small or how important or unimportant.

Ed Pilolla said...

this has a touching rhythm to it. i liked it a lot.

lime said...

this was a wonderful affirmation. thank you!

Candie Bracci said...

Really nice Brian!

Syd said...

A life is significant regardless of who or what it is.