Wednesday, December 8, 2010

peace on earth

the night of the college talent show
i went to watch, not participate
as my great talent was touching
the tip of my nose with my tongue
which was good for Gene Simmons
impersonations and a few other things, but...
& toward the end this guy took
the stage, fish bowl under one arm
and funnel in hand, proceeding to
pour them in, then drink them down
with a smile, but he wasn't done...
no, pushing his finger into his throat
he thew them back up into the bowl
to swim in murky water among
the remains of a Big Mac meal &
holding it aloft proclaimed proudly
"eleven out of twelve lived" to an
increasingly uncomfortable crowd...
i always look for him at press conferences
when politicians talk of humans
in terms like "acceptable losses"
as if any of them are...

peace on earth...

87 comments:

kathew said...

urp....yow...that's something I've never seen...and don't need to.

Mama Zen said...

Eeewww!

CM said...

Ha! Gotta love college events. You never know what to expect!

Jay Leno performed at my state college and no, he didn't vomit anything up :-)

Mighty M said...

They really need to to maybe um, pre-approve some of these talent acts before they go on. I think. :)

C.M. Jackson said...

I don't know whether I am more concerned that this is fact or fiction....yowsa and yuck

lakeviewer said...

Oh no! You are capturing the sentiment we all feel these days. Peace!

KB said...

Ewww, I would have left the room.

Betsy said...

When my dad was in college he swallowed a life goldfish. ugh.

Monkey Man said...

THAT is funny.

David Waters said...

dark...but deep.

cheers

Ed Pilolla said...

i laughed my ass off at acceptable losses. there's no better way to get the best of the neaderthals than to laugh at them.

Tina said...

Word. Creepy. But yeah, there are those...

Becky said...

Funny but ewww lol.

Eva Gallant said...

YUK!

gayle said...

Glad I wasn't there! yuck!

Neva Flores said...

wow!

DJan said...

Please tell me that was fiction. Gross!!!!

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Brian, you always surprise me. Good thing I don't get grossed out easily. LOL!

Pat said...

Thank you for sharing. No. Seriously.

Cheryl said...

No loss is an acceptable loss. No one is an island.

Mango Girl said...

Simply put ~ cool beans. WOW.

xo, Mango

Reggie said...

....ummm, excuse me...I have to go puke

Pastor Sharon said...

Ohhh YUCK.

Lori said...

At first I was grossed out as I pictured this guy doing this...and then I read of "acceptable losses" and I felt sicker...tell that to the families that have lost loved ones...all for peace. Very clever Brian.

PattiKen said...

Oh, YUCK! Tell me you didn't really see this...

Teri said...

Sort of like collateral damage...you never know what you do that affects others around you. Sometimes there is no other option, sometimes you are unaware that there was any, and sometimes...it is just what happens. College: what a mind-opener.

Jill said...

OUCH!
Got that one. Acceptable losses? REALLY?

kkrige said...

ew, yuck.

AmyLK said...

Eeewwwww!!!!! Not even one is acceptable

budh.aaah said...

There is so much pain, discomfort in this world without anyone adding to it anymore. This brought tears to the eyes because maybe that serves as an example of a mildly put phrase 'been to hell and back for the eleven and the loss of a beautiful being to the whim of a butcher...

Cloudia said...

Aloha from Waikiki!
Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but if you read my post on Tuesday I'm sure you understand. Wishing you all the best!

Comfort Spiral

><}}(°>

Scott said...

Uh huh...interesting. I mean, the statement comes through. The image is a curiosity for sure. I don't think I've ever seen anyone swallow and throw-up some gold fish. Good writing.

Bernie said...

Oh this is gross but then I love sushi.....lol

Hope said...

interesting!

Unknown Mami said...

Wow, that made my stomach churn. I felt like I was there and it was disgusting and it is.

TALON said...

Okay, that's a visual that will never leave my brain. Thanks, Brian!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Wow, I bet that guy's mother is so proud ;-)

The Empress said...

I can tell this is based on a true memory/recollection: it's so vivid.

ladyfi said...

That's quite an eye-opening talent. Reminds me of those street artists I saw in China and Thailand: thy would put a snake in through a nostril and pull it out via their mouths!

Kulio said...

Ah, you did a nice job making us sick and then helping us to keep that feeling with us while you pointed out what was worth feeling sick about.

Zuzana said...

Aw, this reminds me of something I have heard about around here as being considered "modern art" and it made me sick. I will not retell it here, but it was a similar story to yours, a bit worse even.;)
I wonder where one draws the line between bad taste and criminality?
Hope your day is good dear Brian.;))
xoxo

Valerie said...

Wish I hadn't just had that cup of soup. Fortunately I didn't throw up!

Helena Malheur said...

I liked this… I was interested to find out how you were going to work the title, “peace on earth,” into this humorous story but you’ve done it well. The phrase, “acceptable losses,” says it all -- the sacrifice of life should never be acceptable, for any reason. I found an interesting parallel -- trying to win a talent show vs. trying to win a war perhaps?-- well that’s how I read it anyway. A pleasure to read your work as always. Thanks for sharing.

5thsister said...

Reminds me a little of the sword swallower that comes around each year at the Renaissance Fair. The grossest things go down his throat and up his nose...

Austin said...

Love the title, did he end up on some show, that recently released a 3-D movie?

slommler said...

I am always amazed that they can use that term..."acceptable losses"??!! Who is acceptable to lose?? Not a one I say...not a one!
And as for the fish bowl...ewwwwwww...but even he is not acceptable to lose!
Not a one!
Merry Christmas
Hugs
SueAnn

Just Be Real said...

Oh My Brian! That is all I can say! Oh My! :)

the walking man said...

Point well given. Message received.

Candie Bracci said...

Anyway...you went away from Facebook?

Pauline said...

having trouble with my breakfast now ;)

Tabor said...

Oh yuck...what people call talent!

Cinner said...

Yep new to me. but it takes all kinds to make the world go round. lol. smiles.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Hysterical.

Lorraine said...

yewww, lol good one Brian, excellent writing...

sheila said...

great correlation! Poor fishies.

Daniel said...

... to an increasingly uncomfortable crowd ... Yeah, I felt it in my stomach too after reading this ... Ugh.

MorningAJ said...

Please tell me that's fiction. Urrrrgh!

Debbie said...

I laughed at this one - uncomfortably!

Colleen said...

Wonderful writing. You manage to hide something very profound in among everyday words and images...

Kate Hanley said...

That connection you made at the end was fantastic. If a bit gross. : )

Strummed Words said...

Did this really happen? Yuk! Whew!

Vicki Lane said...

Gross. But you make a good point and make it memorably.

annell said...

Interesting story, but I don't like it. What happened to the the other fish? Maybe I don't want to know, it just isn't right. We don't swallow live fish, I'm sure they don't like it. And you are right about the kind of guy you were watching. I think I would have liked your talent better!

Anonymous said...

A Holiday Thought...

Aren't humans amazing? They kill wildlife - birds, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice and foxes by the million in order to protect their domestic animals and their feed.

Then they kill domestic animals by the billion and eat them. This in turn kills people by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - and fatal - health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer.

So then humans spend billions of dollars torturing and killing millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases.

Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals.

Meanwhile, few people recognize the absurdity of humans, who kill so easily and violently, and once a year send out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."

~Revised Preface to Old MacDonald's Factory Farm by C. David Coates~

_____________


Anyone can break this cycle of violence! Everyone has the power to choose compassion! Please visit these websites to align your core values with life affirming choices: veganvideo.org & tryveg.com


"Any great change must expect opposition because it shakes the very foundation of privilege."
Lucretia Coffin Mott, 1793-1880, minister, women's rights leader, abolitionist, peace activist, humanitarian

Anonymous said...

did he really did that?

your last line explains the behaviour of politicians so well.

trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

TechnoBabe said...

Surely this guy is now proudly employed as a Senator. Ha.

Everyday Goddess said...

that's showbiz. wonder if he is on fox news now?

Slamdunk said...

Yikes, that is one sight that I am glad I did not see.

Lyn said...

Been on the path to "acceptable losses" for a long time...Lots of tricks out there!

Myrna R. said...

Brian, you never cease to amaze me. Wonderful way to criticize politicians. Hope they someday realize the signficance of peace.

Bossy Betty said...

Oh, college daze...

Love the way you ended this.

Meeko Fabulous said...

I saw this the other night on the Best of Jackass! Ugh . . . Gross!

sage said...

That's funny and disgusting at the same time!

Selina Kingston said...

Thanks - I've just had my dinner...and now I can feel it coming back up !!

blueviolet said...

What a sicko!

Stranger said...

The tongue to the nose ala Gene Simmons is _my_ great talent! It's an underrated skill, possibly a useless but one I am proud to admit. ...smiles... As for fish bowl guy - great humorous and disturbing description. And tying it all together in the end with politics and spin is fantastic!

Goofball said...

yikes


and no that was not about your Gene Simmons impersonation...although that too maybe

Fragrant Liar said...

Yeesh. I hate "acts" like that. Senseless is the only word that comes to mind. Oh wait. I can think of another one: stupid.

Marla said...

Brilliant.

Claudia said...

agh - this is disgusting - but i love it!!! there are no acceptable losses and i couldn't think of a better illustration..this is brilliant brian!

A Daft Scots Lass said...

smashing as always

Syd said...

Ugh. Poor fish.

Magpie said...

Okay....yuck! How your mind works amazes me still. To go from barfing up fish (and whatever else) to acceptable losses...you're just a little quirky, but in a nice way. :)

Sophia said...

No comment...still thinking on this one!! ;)

secret agent woman said...

That is absolutely revolting. I have a fairly sensitive gag reflex and wouldn't have made it through witnessing this.

Life with Kaishon said...

Gross me out.

Caty said...

eww...he'd fit right in with the politicians :)