the night of the college talent show
i went to watch, not participate
as my great talent was touching
the tip of my nose with my tongue
which was good for Gene Simmons
impersonations and a few other things, but...
& toward the end this guy took
the stage, fish bowl under one arm
and funnel in hand, proceeding to
pour them in, then drink them down
with a smile, but he wasn't done...
no, pushing his finger into his throat
he thew them back up into the bowl
to swim in murky water among
the remains of a Big Mac meal &
holding it aloft proclaimed proudly
"eleven out of twelve lived" to an
increasingly uncomfortable crowd...
i always look for him at press conferences
when politicians talk of humans
in terms like "acceptable losses"
as if any of them are...
peace on earth...
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87 comments:
urp....yow...that's something I've never seen...and don't need to.
Eeewww!
Ha! Gotta love college events. You never know what to expect!
Jay Leno performed at my state college and no, he didn't vomit anything up :-)
They really need to to maybe um, pre-approve some of these talent acts before they go on. I think. :)
I don't know whether I am more concerned that this is fact or fiction....yowsa and yuck
Oh no! You are capturing the sentiment we all feel these days. Peace!
Ewww, I would have left the room.
When my dad was in college he swallowed a life goldfish. ugh.
THAT is funny.
dark...but deep.
cheers
i laughed my ass off at acceptable losses. there's no better way to get the best of the neaderthals than to laugh at them.
Word. Creepy. But yeah, there are those...
Funny but ewww lol.
YUK!
Glad I wasn't there! yuck!
wow!
Please tell me that was fiction. Gross!!!!
Brian, you always surprise me. Good thing I don't get grossed out easily. LOL!
Thank you for sharing. No. Seriously.
No loss is an acceptable loss. No one is an island.
Simply put ~ cool beans. WOW.
xo, Mango
....ummm, excuse me...I have to go puke
Ohhh YUCK.
At first I was grossed out as I pictured this guy doing this...and then I read of "acceptable losses" and I felt sicker...tell that to the families that have lost loved ones...all for peace. Very clever Brian.
Oh, YUCK! Tell me you didn't really see this...
Sort of like collateral damage...you never know what you do that affects others around you. Sometimes there is no other option, sometimes you are unaware that there was any, and sometimes...it is just what happens. College: what a mind-opener.
OUCH!
Got that one. Acceptable losses? REALLY?
ew, yuck.
Eeewwwww!!!!! Not even one is acceptable
There is so much pain, discomfort in this world without anyone adding to it anymore. This brought tears to the eyes because maybe that serves as an example of a mildly put phrase 'been to hell and back for the eleven and the loss of a beautiful being to the whim of a butcher...
Aloha from Waikiki!
Sorry I haven't been around for a while, but if you read my post on Tuesday I'm sure you understand. Wishing you all the best!
Comfort Spiral
><}}(°>
Uh huh...interesting. I mean, the statement comes through. The image is a curiosity for sure. I don't think I've ever seen anyone swallow and throw-up some gold fish. Good writing.
Oh this is gross but then I love sushi.....lol
interesting!
Wow, that made my stomach churn. I felt like I was there and it was disgusting and it is.
Okay, that's a visual that will never leave my brain. Thanks, Brian!
Wow, I bet that guy's mother is so proud ;-)
I can tell this is based on a true memory/recollection: it's so vivid.
That's quite an eye-opening talent. Reminds me of those street artists I saw in China and Thailand: thy would put a snake in through a nostril and pull it out via their mouths!
Ah, you did a nice job making us sick and then helping us to keep that feeling with us while you pointed out what was worth feeling sick about.
Aw, this reminds me of something I have heard about around here as being considered "modern art" and it made me sick. I will not retell it here, but it was a similar story to yours, a bit worse even.;)
I wonder where one draws the line between bad taste and criminality?
Hope your day is good dear Brian.;))
xoxo
Wish I hadn't just had that cup of soup. Fortunately I didn't throw up!
I liked this… I was interested to find out how you were going to work the title, “peace on earth,” into this humorous story but you’ve done it well. The phrase, “acceptable losses,” says it all -- the sacrifice of life should never be acceptable, for any reason. I found an interesting parallel -- trying to win a talent show vs. trying to win a war perhaps?-- well that’s how I read it anyway. A pleasure to read your work as always. Thanks for sharing.
Reminds me a little of the sword swallower that comes around each year at the Renaissance Fair. The grossest things go down his throat and up his nose...
Love the title, did he end up on some show, that recently released a 3-D movie?
I am always amazed that they can use that term..."acceptable losses"??!! Who is acceptable to lose?? Not a one I say...not a one!
And as for the fish bowl...ewwwwwww...but even he is not acceptable to lose!
Not a one!
Merry Christmas
Hugs
SueAnn
Oh My Brian! That is all I can say! Oh My! :)
Point well given. Message received.
Anyway...you went away from Facebook?
having trouble with my breakfast now ;)
Oh yuck...what people call talent!
Yep new to me. but it takes all kinds to make the world go round. lol. smiles.
Hysterical.
yewww, lol good one Brian, excellent writing...
great correlation! Poor fishies.
... to an increasingly uncomfortable crowd ... Yeah, I felt it in my stomach too after reading this ... Ugh.
Please tell me that's fiction. Urrrrgh!
I laughed at this one - uncomfortably!
Wonderful writing. You manage to hide something very profound in among everyday words and images...
That connection you made at the end was fantastic. If a bit gross. : )
Did this really happen? Yuk! Whew!
Gross. But you make a good point and make it memorably.
Interesting story, but I don't like it. What happened to the the other fish? Maybe I don't want to know, it just isn't right. We don't swallow live fish, I'm sure they don't like it. And you are right about the kind of guy you were watching. I think I would have liked your talent better!
A Holiday Thought...
Aren't humans amazing? They kill wildlife - birds, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice and foxes by the million in order to protect their domestic animals and their feed.
Then they kill domestic animals by the billion and eat them. This in turn kills people by the million, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative - and fatal - health conditions like heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, and cancer.
So then humans spend billions of dollars torturing and killing millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases.
Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals.
Meanwhile, few people recognize the absurdity of humans, who kill so easily and violently, and once a year send out cards praying for "Peace on Earth."
~Revised Preface to Old MacDonald's Factory Farm by C. David Coates~
_____________
Anyone can break this cycle of violence! Everyone has the power to choose compassion! Please visit these websites to align your core values with life affirming choices: veganvideo.org & tryveg.com
"Any great change must expect opposition because it shakes the very foundation of privilege."
Lucretia Coffin Mott, 1793-1880, minister, women's rights leader, abolitionist, peace activist, humanitarian
did he really did that?
your last line explains the behaviour of politicians so well.
trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com
Surely this guy is now proudly employed as a Senator. Ha.
that's showbiz. wonder if he is on fox news now?
Yikes, that is one sight that I am glad I did not see.
Been on the path to "acceptable losses" for a long time...Lots of tricks out there!
Brian, you never cease to amaze me. Wonderful way to criticize politicians. Hope they someday realize the signficance of peace.
Oh, college daze...
Love the way you ended this.
I saw this the other night on the Best of Jackass! Ugh . . . Gross!
That's funny and disgusting at the same time!
Thanks - I've just had my dinner...and now I can feel it coming back up !!
What a sicko!
The tongue to the nose ala Gene Simmons is _my_ great talent! It's an underrated skill, possibly a useless but one I am proud to admit. ...smiles... As for fish bowl guy - great humorous and disturbing description. And tying it all together in the end with politics and spin is fantastic!
yikes
and no that was not about your Gene Simmons impersonation...although that too maybe
Yeesh. I hate "acts" like that. Senseless is the only word that comes to mind. Oh wait. I can think of another one: stupid.
Brilliant.
agh - this is disgusting - but i love it!!! there are no acceptable losses and i couldn't think of a better illustration..this is brilliant brian!
smashing as always
Ugh. Poor fish.
Okay....yuck! How your mind works amazes me still. To go from barfing up fish (and whatever else) to acceptable losses...you're just a little quirky, but in a nice way. :)
No comment...still thinking on this one!! ;)
That is absolutely revolting. I have a fairly sensitive gag reflex and wouldn't have made it through witnessing this.
Gross me out.
eww...he'd fit right in with the politicians :)
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