fierce clarity grips
the ebony sky
in opaque fingers
stars popping like
water on a hot skillet,
a million fireflies from
which my finger plays
a furious game of
connect the dots
wind having lost
its voice, sits on a
corner stool counting
how many seconds
it can hold its breath, leaves
nestle firmly,huddle
together in silent masses, as i
stand steadfast, watching,
waiting for the heavens
to fling down one of their
own, a skipping stone
across our atmosphere
harbinger of wishes
& the first one i see
i grab in my fist, fearing
to look as i might go
blind, i wrap my words
around it with bailing twine
& duct tape a four leaf clover
i found hide n seeking
behind a blade of grass,
for luck,
& fling it as hard as i can,
hoping that one day it
reaches you, because you
need it just as much as me,
and what a selfish prig
i would be if i kept it
all to myself.
One Shot Wednesday - write a poem & come join us. It kicks off tonight at 5 PM.
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126 comments:
I love the way you personified wind here.
To think that when the earth is still and the air is unmoving that the wind is holding it's breath, is a beautiful concept
very thought provoking.. I love this piece
Hi! Brian...
What a well-written, lovely prose/poem...very vivid.
By the way, I have never visited One-Shot Wednesday. Hmmm...I may have visited O-SW once I hope to stop by soon!
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
Great imagery of the stars popping like water on a hot skittle and the wind sitting on a corner stool holding its breath. I am big on stargazing and just love what you capture here in this piece, Brian
I love this write, so beautiful, it takes my breath away.
Great imagery
Feels very autumnal to me. Lovely.
Pearl
An autumn gem for sure, Brian. Wonderful writing full of positive and bright communion with nature.
you're a good shot.
though, i have never heard of a skittle, except for candy.
Another picture painted in prose...it went so well with my mood and internal state. I also love the "wind" part...divinely inspired, no doubt.
♥namaste♥
no one does one shot better than you friend...brilliant;)
To understand and still let go is such a sign of grace and maturity, ..., and love. Great post.
yes - love it - even the clover is not that bad...for luck..smiles
also like the title - can be read with a double meaning..nice
Wow, Brian ,this is a beauty. Outside ourselves is the best place to be most times.
And you are no selfish prig.
I could use a wish. All I see is airplanes...too much light pollution to see any stars. Sigh.
Oh my God, now that was very beautiful and touching as well hmm..
Very nice images and you are willing to share too.
Thanks, I could use a little star light.
Kat
this was actually quite beautiful!
great imagery and awesome ending1
thank you
Excellent, Brian!
What a charmingly romantic poem, full of great imagery.
I think this might just be one of my favorites of yours. I love the images you brought with the wind, the stars, I could feel a breeze. then you caught a shooting star and added a four leaf clover and on top of that shared all that good luck with someone else! Awesome :)
jen, honestly that song did influence this poem...i was jamming out to it yesterday...not even sure if you are refering to it but...
sirplanes by B.o.B
a life entity, the wind becomes just such...in your work, and i like it :)
the words themselves flow over me like the gentle autumn breeze...
i am a fan, and a lurker :)
Wonderful imagery here! I love some dramatic weather.
Sweet, Brian. A really wonderful poem of vividness and the art of sharing.
I still wish upon stars. Silly I know.
My imagination never would have had me picture the wind holding its breath, but I am so grateful that your imagination turned mine on.
lots of great images in this! the stars popping, wind sitting and holding it's breath, great stuff!
Loved your images and personification. Thanks for sharing the wishes and your inspiring work!
You roped the wind, lassoed it in and wrangled words around it so neatly with this poem.
"stars popping like
water on a hot skillet"
an image so pronounced, yet who would put water in a hot skillet anyway...??
your imagery always remarkable. powerful, as always.
Makes me want to stand on the edge of a field searching starry skies... sigh. maybe tomorrow... ;)
Lovely. I am glad you shared with us.
I have something cued up for tomorrow.
Beautiful. Great shot! I caught it. Thank you.
Simply beautiful and thanks for sharing your luck.....
I was outside myself, wishing on a falling star, reading this. Beautiful.
so lovely...we are both thinking stars and the sky, yours is ebony while mine is onyx.
so much movement, sounds, warmth...
warm smiles,
I love being outside myself but could never explain it as well as you have my friend, good work...Hugs
It is perfect for the season.
I just love it!So love it!Beautiful piece Brian!
I love playing with stars - they get kinda beat up here on the moon
It is such a beautiful piece
glad you shared it and the star
another perfect shot for One Shot
smiles from the Moon
and yet I can see your self among it all
;)
Beautiful Brian. I love when I get a visual as I usually do with your poems.
Stunning, I could see all the images in my head. You paint pictures with your words. Thanks for sharing Brian
Autumn alive, and with personality. Great.
Oh great! Now I feel like a JERK for keeping that 4-leaf clover! (LOL!) Nice write, Brian!
The part about baling twine and duct tape... that was marvelous. It feels like that sometimes, when we try to put our words into some form that will stay long enough to pass them on. :)
beautiful- great imagery. :)
Nice imagery, Brian! A charming and potent piece, all too perfect for the season. The personification of nature was splendid.
fabulous piece....love this -wind having lost
its voice, sits on a
corner stool counting
how many seconds
it can hold its breath
Another Great piece from you.
Always enjoy reading your work
I love the image of the wind holding its breath. I feel like I'm standing out there with you on a clear night. Maybe you weren't by yourself afterall. Lovely words. :)
Love that line..."stars popping like water on a hot skillet". Touches sight and sound. Great, Brian.
Oh, Brian, the images in this are just wonderful! You outdid yourself this time. (Is that possible?)
I'd gather the stars from out the skies and give them all to you. What a generous and beautiful piece!
All the metaphors were strong and effective. Thanks, Gay
There is such a wonderful melody to this. And look, here comes a little duct-taped bundle of luck hurtling my way. Hooray!
Damn...all I can say is this:
Wish I had written this!!
Excellent work....haunting imagery.
Lady Nyo
WHAT A THOUGHT!!!! How you can ever come up with such a piece, I shall never know!
Brian, hats off to your imagery! Really!
Very often, I look at the moon and think, we all stare at the same side of the moon... So, how far apart can we really be?!?!
And reading your poem today brought this thought once again into my mind...
Yes, the well-wrapped package of hope and love will reach across indeed! Most of us need it!
Guys and duck tape, I swear. ;-)
I loved the last stanza. It's perfect.
To fling a star -- or a firefly -- and it will reach its destination, Good one, Brian.
Giving is good. Beautifully sculpted One Shot.
Excellent imagery, with a nice personification of wind/breath.
I thought of so many things as I read this. Fireflies, meteors, stars, wind and leaves. So beautifully crafted...loved this one!
Hugs
SueAnn
So enjoyable reading your poetry, I never thought of the wind as holding it's breath.
Thanks for visiting and leaving such a nice comment. Always appreciated.
Masterful writing
Sharing a four-leaf clover -- you are a lovely man, Brian!
After reading this I wanted to sing "catch a fallen star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day"... thanks for sharing!
Wonderful, wondrous imagery!! Loved this one Brian!
Fantastic imagery. Thank you for sharing your luck, as we should all be sharing it with each other. This is one of
My favorites out of your collection. Great one shot and thank you for hosting!
This one made me think!Oh,how I wish I could play words the way you do.Since English is not my first language I really need to dig down my brain for my vocabularies.
This one made autumn lovelier.Though it seems to be over already on my side.What with the cold creeping on my insides.
Great one-shot.As always.
hey thanks everyone this was a fun one to write...it was a beautiful night, that night
Wonderful, vivid imagery and great word choices.
Great write, the third stanza the bailing twine and duct tape...the four leaf clover....so much here --the sharing of all that we are, our luck our hopes our dreams ...huddle it, fling it towards one who needs some too....love the the fantastic images throughout the whole piece...bkm
Brian...
Your stories are always spellbinding.
Plus I LOVED your First time!
You are such a treasure to us all Son, we will cherish you while you are still Not Famous...:-)
thanks for sharing your piece of heaven...you captured it!! - loved the wind holding its breath part.
This just made me giggle and smile all over the place.
Oh, I love this one, Brian!
I love to watch the night sky and consider it a real treat when I "catch" a falling star. Thanks for sharing!
In your rewrite, start it where it ends. You're trying so hard to say something new about the night sky, it comes across as purple.
I do think there's a nucleus of a poem in there tho; but it's (as is often the case) only genuinely articulated in the last stanza.
Strong sensory info, nature-self intimate
Perfect!! The imagery in this rocked.... !!!! Great one shot!!!
Loved how the leaves huddled together waiting for the wind to kick in again. Your poem created a lovely movie in my mind...xo
You are so good with words - love love love the imagery, the wind on the corner stool holding its breath... my favourite:
...i wrap my words
around it with bailing twine
& duct tape a four leaf clover
i found hide n seeking
behind a blade of grass,
Truly beautiful and touching. I love the imagery.
A lot of impact from a cascade of images and a restrained vocabulary in their service. And I agree, the giving is the whole point.
How beautiful and self-less. I like it.
Brian somehow I find it hard to believe that you could ever be a selfish prig!! This was absolutely beautiful to read! You evoke such imagery with your choice of words..I just love it! Actually, I love all your work!!
very vivid imagery used
powerful one shot entry
Love that line "stars popping like water on a hot skillet". You sure know how to put words to music. And nice that you cared to share you tokens of luck with someone...falling stars, three-leaf clovers, if only finding them within our grasp really could bring us the luck that we need sometimes; the luck that we NEED sometimes!
"duct tape a four leaf clover
i found hide n seeking
behind a blade of grass,
for luck,"
What a great image! The ending of your poem is very strong, really brings the focus into laser-like accuracy. Your choice to use more aggressive language gave the poem a depth of meaning that is hard to accomplish under any circumstances. The phrase "wind having lost its voice" really reached out and grabbed me. Fantastic poem; every time I read one of your poems I can't help but feel impressed by your grasp of the concept as a whole. Thanks for posting via 1SW, always enjoy swinging through your poetic vision.
crb.
Brilliant, Brian! I love the wind holding its breath, and the leaves nestling... huddling... descriptions are spot-on!
The wind lines were the best !!! and so was the closing lines ! perfect !!
Oh, I wonder if you got inspired to write this the other night, when you went outside...;)
Lovely and poetic as always, there is nothing that makes one feel more small and humble than the night sky.
Have a lovely day dear Brian,
xoxo
Brian this was so wonderful. Maybe in heaven we will actually see what wind looks like. Probably just the breath of God. Just a thought. Thank you for sharing. Blessings.
Ooh I love this: 'stars popping like water on a hot skillet'
Great poem. :O)
I agree a touch of autumn in this one.Im loving it.Beautiful Brian!Thanks for sharing!
another top write...you are on a rich vein my friend...pete
I love using the skipping stone to carry your words -- and the wind, holding its breath.
I love using the skipping stone to carry your words -- and the wind, holding its breath.
Dear Brian
Very beautiful... I enjoyed being with the breeze and your words take a different meaning when you play with them... like
'wind having lost
its voice, sits on a
corner stool counting
how many seconds
it can hold its breath,'
The end was so beautiful, full of love.. Good one shot.
Thanks for sharing...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
Twitter: @VerseEveryDay
Blog: http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
I was wondering who was throwing rocks at me. It's OK though I threw it on to someone else.
This poem is breathtaking Brian...i love love love it! :-)
God placed a special and great gift in you. thank you for sharing it!
I am grateful for you and your beautiful, emotional, poigniant and fierce poetry!
You can see the forces of nature at work here:)
PS Thanks for the comment on my "Coming Out" post today!
Another gem! But it may be a year before you wend your way down to 104!
do share your vast talent my dear
How I wish to hold the wind! Especially after reading your poem...
certainity of the uncertainity
simply fantastic brian, what a way of writing a poem, and fantastic imagination.
trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com
oh my goodness
some days we just write a poem that
is
and this one IS
I loved it
Exquisite. I love the imagery your words evoke.
Anita.
This is so, so pretty! :)
Exquisite images, Brian.
Victoria
The vivid nature of your images is wonderful. The wind offers vast creative opportunities as it travels and explores. I like to think it has stories to tell – it is definitely emotional.
This was fun to read.
The flow and pace of this is great, and how it changes direction at the word "fling" great write!
Being unselfish yields even better rewards.
lovely evocative strength Brain. very nice.
Capturing a piece of the fallen sky and passing it to another....a truly wonderful notion. Your imagery is strong in this poem. I loved it!
I always love reading this words of yours Brian, you have a fascinating flow which really can be quite moving, I especially like the "quiet air" and smiled for the finish that didn't hold all to yourself! Very nice!!! ~April
"& fling it as hard as i can,
hoping that one day it
reaches you, because you
need it just as much as me...."
So INCREDIBLY touching and amazing. I've read this several times now and oh so very moved.
These words drove deep:
"because you
need it just as much as me,
and what a selfish prig
i would be if i kept it
all to myself."
Nicely done, B.
Cheers!
if it is offered to you, then you need it most
others get their gifts when they need them, by their own divine providence
you cannot change the world, but I love that you try
hmmm very cryptic this one
did you just throw wind at me ? that's why a storm is approaching here ;)
A brilliant way to catch and share a falling star, a wish.
Beautiful :)
Cheers!
This is just marvelous Brian, and that last stanza frickin' rocks!
Those clear still nights in the fall are magical.
What can I say ... Brilliant!!
full of vivid imagery... lovely write.
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