Thursday, November 11, 2010

55 - as captain crunch looks on

"you got beautiful eyes"

she says in
between cereal boxes
and pop tarts,
shopping cart squeaking
down store aisles

coffee & cream skin,
sprinkled cookie crumb
moles & age marks
hair shock
white

(eyes meet)

& underneath
a little girl, smiling at
a boy & his converse
low tops, just
happy, to be
noticed.

"thank you."

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

106 comments:

5thsister said...

just happy to be noticed.

Doesn't that just say it all!

David Waters said...

You always bring magic to those every day moments...lovely;)

RNSANE said...

I can remember those days, Brian, even though I'm 66,

So glad to be home from the hospital ( Tuesday ) - still not in tip top shape and my Thanksgiving will be a bit bleak as I have 30 days of a REALLY restrictive diet.

You might get a kick out of my poem today about hospitals..
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/11/alphabe-thursday-h-is-for-hospital.html#links

Eva Gallant said...

I agree with 5th sister...that does say it all!

Candie Bracci said...

I just love it!It's so full of fresh air!Eyes are bridges too ;)

Sophia said...

...you've got beautiful eyes....hmmm....look into my eyes.....(tick tock tick tock)....look....look.....

:D

Just teasing. As always, wonderful writing!

n. davis rosback said...

this warms my heart

Kay said...

lesson be: give at least one compliment a day :)

Mighty M said...

Sometimes it takes so little make someone's day. :)

Syd said...

It starts early these things that we learn on relating to each other.

blueviolet said...

It probably made her day!

slommler said...

Aww!! Warmed my heart too!
Hugs
SueAnn

Magpie said...

I never knew Captain Crunch was a voyeur! :)

G-Man said...

Chuck Taylors?

Sometimes we just need a little attention.

Loved your 55 Son...

Always Top Notch! Thanks for the smile, and have a Kick Ass Week-End

Myrna R. said...

So cute. I could just see the scene and relate to "just happy to be noticed."

The Muse said...

in the dark there is a spark.
and it is noticed.

peel the layers, ....
yes, peel the layers.

Everyday Goddess said...

that's a truly bright spot in the supermarket. nice!

Miss Nikki said...

fun story, a great make believe of grocery shopping magic! Cool!

gautami tripathy said...

Such a great snippet in that everyday moment...

echoed sky

forever lost said...

ha! as only the crunch capt can!

mine is up too!Find my Flash 55 for this week <a href="http://jennasboots.blogspot.com/>

CM said...

Beautiful. Sometimes it takes a child's viewpoint to notice simple beauty. I'm sure it made the boy's day.

Betsy said...

It's always nice to make someone's day...and takes such little effort! ;)

moondustwriter said...

Connection!!!

A Sweet 55 (pun intended)

Hilary said...

How sweet is that! Very. :)

Monkey Man said...

You took us to this encounter and delivered the mood to perfection. Great 55. Thanks for stopping by mine.

Fireblossom said...

...and that's what they see when they look at each other, isn't it?

:-)

Me said...

Seriously, seriously, beautiful. This one gave me goosebumps. :)

lime said...

this is a completely charming reminder to be aware of the people around us.

OJ Gonzalez-Cazares said...

awwww.... I can totally relate!! at the end, we are the same teenagers in love - that's what I see in him, that's what he sees in me; the rest? just the protective layers of time. Lovely!!!

Unknown Mami said...

Thank you for that little bit of joy.

Cinner said...

we all want to be noticed, glad I am back, missed reading you everyday.

Teresa said...

How wonderful! It's always great to read your poems.

ds said...

sweet...

Mona said...

Eyes are the mirror of our soul they say...they speak so much.

Very nice 55ve!

Tracy said...

Dang, these Brian Miller love poems should be outlawed on week nights. *laugh* Cap'n Crunch made me sick once. That's okay. I still go coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. :-)

Daniel said...

This is just so you Brian. Love your spirit and consistent giving attitude.

gospelwriter said...

another beautiful story in few words, romance in a supermarket - awesome 55

Kim A. said...

My hair is salt and pepper, just like my mothers. No gray here, only snow white strands among the black strands. I look in the mirror and see my mother now. I think she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Thank you for reminding me today.

♥namaste♥

Alice Audrey said...

I love the shift of perspective on this one.

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Awww, I know that feeling of feeling happy to be noticed.

Zuzana said...

Everyone loves a compliment. At any time, at any age.;))
Have a great Friday dear Brian,
xo

budh.aaah said...

Never knew grocery shopping could be so much fun eh :) cool 55v

Someone Is Special said...

I loved this 55 Brian..

--Someone Is Special--

MorningAJ said...

Wow... that's just so true. (I was one who never got noticed much back then.)

Enchanted Oak said...

A socially awkward moment for man; a face-saving leap for mankind!

Belinda said...

How sweet! And little girls do say things like that, don't they? Love the innocence in this.

anthonynorth said...

Yes, it's so important to be noticed.

Selina Kingston said...

Oh! So cute, so innocent, so perfect.
I love it

joanny said...

You do take delight in the ordinary world and turn it upside down into extraordinary.

cheers,
joanny

BLOGitse said...

"just happy, to be noticed" - that's what we all want and need.

Alan Burnett said...

We really should spend more time looking at eyes. Perhaps there should be a National Eye Day when everyone is encouraged to look into a strangers' eyes and read what is written there.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

so simple and yet so true.A

deb said...

love the title ...

and the moment captured. these are good good moments.

adeeyoyo said...

Aaah, windows to the soul - how true!

izzy said...

So nice to get noticed! love the beginning-

sheila said...

Ughhh forgot it was Friday again! Love this post. Funny how much the eyes convey isn't it?

And my gosh, you beat me to visiting everyday don't you? It's crazy, lol.

Just Be Real said...

Awwwww a post that has touched me once again Brian. Blessings.

Nessa said...

Those little moments mean so much and will be remembered forever.

I like the Crunch Berries.

TechnoBabe said...

The child within responds. Cool.

Lorraine said...

you never know about the encounters you will have in a day - they say it's predestined...I just love your writing :)

Jerry said...

Eyes. The portal to the child inside. Good capture of this moment...excellent 55

Harnett-Hargrove said...

I'm with Alan,
so nice for the little one's soul to be peered into. -J

Katherine said...

Life looks so beautiful through your eyes Brian!
I think everyone likes to be noticed, especially by the object of their affection.Lovely 55

Vicki Lane said...

Nice encounter, beautifully described.

JStar said...

Aww this is cute Brian

Linda said...

It's nice to be noticed, and see yourself through someone else's eyes.

Eric Alder said...

Never lose touch with that little boy inside you - he's the Fountain of Youth.

Nice 55, Brian!

Anonymous said...

there is an age when being noticed is enough to make a person bloom like a flower.

trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

magiceye said...

a magical moment captured!
lovely!!

TALON said...

Loved it!

Marla said...

Oh, I just LOVE this!! Love it.

AmyLK said...

Sweet! Have a great weekend!

Boom Boom Larew said...

Doesn't take much to make my day, either! Now, if only my darn hair would hurry up and go white!

natalee said...

awww this totally made me smile......

Akelamalu said...

Just a meeting of eyes is all it takes sometimes. :)

Heather said...

oh, this is the sweetest...makes me love the grocery store...and that's difficult! ha ha - very sweet indeed!

RNSANE said...

I'm back to leave my link:

http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/11/flash-55-friday-sick-sad-sack-november.html#links

Bridgette said...

I just love it! Maybe I should start calling you the "Eminem of blogging." :D

PattiKen said...

That's so nice. We so often fail to see the young person still inside of someone in their later years.

And a totally off-topic aside: When my boys were the age of yours, I drove them crazy by insisting that Cap'n Crunch and Yosemite Sam were played by the same actor. (tee hee)

annell said...

I liked it very much! It was fun.

william said...

yes a superb poem as always mate, had a few days off, needed a rest lol, good to be back..

The Empress said...

moments that stop you, so very wonderful when those statements just take your breath away.

Lovely how you know this. It puts diamond dust in your days.

Claudia said...

this was beautiful brian! i love how you describe her...coffee & cream skin and sprinkled cookie crumb...that's so full of warmth
and it means so much to be noticed, doesn't it?

Jen Chandler said...

Aw. That was lovely. Thanks for making me smile :)

Jen

Melissa Campbell said...

Sweet. :)

Tina said...

Another lovely capture of a moment in time. You do that so well :-)

drybottomgirl said...

You made my "mommy heart" melt. Well done and have a super sweet weekend....

Otter Thomas said...

Very cool. Simple and sweet moment shared with your awesome as normal poetic style. You had me at Captain Crunch to be honest. I was hoping for cereal.

iseeyoulookingatme said...

"Thanks for noticin' me" - Eyore

I like your 55!

Maggie May said...

That was very descriptive and lovely to read.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

Hi! Brian...
Words that comes to mind after reading your story...Compliments are nice (especially, if they are sincere and from the heart.)

I have to agree with your other commenter, your post is very vivid an descriptive too!
Thanks, for sharing a very descriptive 55 words with your readers.
DeeDee ;-D

Titanium said...

An upside down world turned right side up with one simple sentence. Perfect reminder that our words matter.

Lulda Casadaga said...

There's nothing like a little compliment to make ones day! enjoy your weekend...

Who Is Afraid of Alfred Hitchcock? said...

[Oops! I meant to write...and descriptive too!]

secret agent woman said...

Good to have the real you seen.

Pat said...

It's always nice to receive a compliment, no matter what your age.

Nancy said...

I do remember feeling that way a time or two.

ladyfi said...

We all need to be noticed! Lovely poem.

Joanna Jenkins said...

That put a smile on my face.
Another terrific 55. Thanks, jj

Leslie said...

I don't come by here often enough. This is just good in it's simplicity and sweetness. You captured her essence beautifully.

gayle said...

You have such a way with words! Beautiful!

Anonymous said...

read your post at laura's. thanks for introducing her to us. Loved the post, it was cute and absolutely unique.

have a lovely weekend.

trisha
mydomainpvt.wordpress.com

Dianne said...

you are so gracious to the young and the old,
all that in only 55! how do you do it?
Di

Kulio said...

I love "cookie crumb moles" -- beautiful moment!

Birdie said...

awww awesome Brian, simple and it says it all .... the eyes ... they truly can tell so much maybe even all ...

Goofball said...

we all still have a little girl or little boy underneath, happy to be noticed