dj shock is in da house, yo!
whicky, whicky...
...the boom bop beat
went straight to our veins
from the turntable to our ears,
wild horses racing round
the chambers of our hearts,
boom bop de boom boom bop
we were gods,
immortal, immoral,
our solo cup fist raised
to Bacchus, and the rafters
of that basement
bah de bah boom bop
all fun and games
until someone dies
and they did---
boom ski de bop bop
slumped in the corner
drool dripping in
ooey gooey lines from
his lip to his shirt
boom bop de bop
party surrounding
him, unknowing
until the keg sighed
dry of dregs...
(record scratch---white noise)
shlup, shlup, shlup
flip flops stinking
on the floor from spills
they pealed those rigored lids
and saw no soul, sitting
in a puddle of piss and beer,
"the day the music died.
we'll be singin', bye bye...."
When I was in college, we used to have live music or a dj every Friday night. Our house would be packed. The year after I graduated, they threw a party and let someone through the door that was already too far gone. He found a corner and died, from alcohol poisoning, and they found him when they were cleaning up.
One Shot Wednesday, write a poem and come join us. Gates open at 5 pm.
About Me
- Brian Miller
- Married to the most amazing woman and dad of two adventurous boys. I am figuring out what life has in store next. Enjoy the journey.
Followers
Follow by Email
Subscribe
Posts
Comments
128 comments:
OMG....haunting. You always hear of things like this, but when it hits so close to home...wow.
sad, haunting...
"We were Gods"...isn't that what every college kid thinks?
So sad yet a reality. Something similar happened in my dorm a few floors down.
I could feel the beat of this poem.
Oh so very sad,but more of this goes on now everyday.My husband was in a band when we got married,I became so sick of the scene there, I havent been to a bar or club in such a long time.
What a waste (says the teetotaler, sanctimoniously). You've really captured the spirit of the party goers very well.
A grisly tale indeed...
It's tough enough to read about these incidents but to actually be so close in space and time is completely heartwrenching.
Always sad to hear of tragedies like this ... such a waste.
it is such a waste bonnie...and at that age (and perhaps older) we tend to think it could never happen to us or hit so close...
This is a powerful and poignant poem, Brian. And tragic, desperately tragic. Such a waste of a young life.
It just doesn't need to happen...sigh.....
I live in a college town, and we lost two in the frat houses a couple of years back. The University has really cracked down, but I doubt that it makes much difference.
I remember parties like that. Truth be told, I'm surprised it didn't/doesn't happen more often.
that is a very tragic and unfortunate event
):)(:(
brutal.
sad.
and with 3 kids in college right now.. frightening.
Your poem caught me by surprise after the title. Always, stereotypes with the song taps (played before my dad was buried in a Federal cemetery.)
Lots of alcohol related deaths where I live. It affects many age groups, just seems to be more of a tragedy with college aged.
Gloria
oh my goodness - that is just horrible
made me think of what happened just a few weeks ago at the "love parade" in duisburg/germany.
there were too many people in a tunnel and some of them got trampled to death - and a few meters away the music was playing and the party was going on and for a long time, no one realized what happened.
this sent shock waves through our land
Powerful piece today. Haunting my mind now after several reads.
So sad that is all too common. I can tell you there have been many a Sunday morn when the alcohol poisonings come in to where I work...many don't make it.
Grim story, but reminds me of so many student parties that I went to at uni. Glad I got it all out my system.
Unfortunate for college kids to go so wild.
Sad the truth within this well written poetry. No one ever expects what could happen least of all those still in the mixture of mindful youth, invincible.
Amazingly depicted in your words Brian.
Here they just stand now in the roads expecting people to stop suddenly, go around them....some not so lucky either...
Well done! ~April
Gut-wrenching read ..
So sad.You talked about your past several times I remember,you have so much in common with my man.
Wow...that is scary. To think that someone can die in a room full of people and no one notice. To be that alone.
As a onetime fratboy I can attest that this kind of stuff happens. Happened when I was in University, I think a Northeastern or Western if my memory serves. Nice One Shot. Love and Light, Sender
Man, I don't know what is sadder - the fact that the guy died or that nobody knew until they started cleaning up.
To say I am grateful that my son finally graduated and is now working is an understatement. There are some things the mother of a frat brat shouldn't know.
♥namaste♥
wow. You captured the experience well.
I often wonder how often I escaped my own personal tragedies in those youthful days.
Excellent words.
Brian this is sad....young people always think they are invinsible...
Your title is perefct...multi-faceted with the military Taps and a keg tap,
You honoured that boy by writing this poem, and I love how you wrote the beat.
wonder-full one shot!
it really is so reflective of the college world. My daughter's best friend told me about listening to someone being killed in the alley below her room.
Always sad
You are all over One Shot
You have rocket powered blog wheels or something
i always wait to read your blog !! it always offers some unheard tale, some unsaid feelings, some unthought ideas .. amazing !!
yeah, there was a haunting rhythm to this piece from the get-go. beer in, drool out. not good.
As a man of music I especially liked how you closed this one - very clever Brian! Great post man,
Justin
I was rocking out for the first couple verses until I realized this was not a happy song.....So sad that this has to happen and has to continue to happen.
Whoa! That's scary.
jj
Tragic... this piece has a tactile quality to the lines, in addition to expressing through multiple senses. Great write
kids away from parents the first time sometimes do dumb things. This one was tragic.
My granddaughter went off to college this fall and she sent a text to tell me that the first week a girl got drunk, fell off the balcony and died. Not someone she knew and not someone going to school there, but a visitor. So sad. Perhaps a really sad, hard lesson learned the first week of school for the rest of the kids?
Frankly, when I think back on my youth, I sometimes wonder at myself.
So much for youthful vigor. Life is ugly under all that fun.
You played it well, B.
The beat follows the music playing, until...
I can hear the music thumping in my ears. Don't miss those days. Thankfully, my friends and I came out of those times in one piece.
how sad is this for some college students parent...stupid is the word...i thank God everyday my kids are beyond this....bkm
A bit of a flashback on this one. Blessings.
Oh wow. We've had too many of those incidents in CO. Your piece captured the tragedy and the false confidence of youth so well. So sad. Such a waste.
Certainly not what I was expecting when I started reading this.
Very sad, but a mighty good write.
Thanks for sharing.
Wow...such a sad story emerging from a fun place...I like how you relive your memories in your works.
Sounds like a page out of the beat era!
Youth is always a surreal state in one's life. After that goes away, we feel wonderful about having crossed a milestone!
Hope you're well, B and so are all at home :)
Joy always,
Susan
So many young think they are indestructible. You have penned this well.......
how horrifying...you captured the party and the noise he may have heard as he was slipping away...excellent..c
There are many times I look back at my younger days and marvel that I am here to tell the tale. Growing up was so very full of bad choices...It scares me so much as I watch my boys grow, to think that they might do things *half* so foolish...
The theme of this poem really got to me, and such a powerful contrast to the lighthearted "whicky whicky" (which was so well done, btw)...this is a new fave of yours, Brian.
It's amazing how you capture the power of youth in just a few simple words. Such a poignant lesson to be learned.
It's amazing how you capture the power of youth in just a few simple words. Such a poignant lesson to be learned.
It happens every year all over the place. I just hate how out of control it can get.
Why did this make me sad and yet it came out feeling like Caribbean dance song? Brian you capture what happens to most college kids and it's not a pretty sight. Very powerful delivery you did~
I never got to experience the college life so it is tough for me to imagine.
I'm so glad it happened after you had graduated...but still, it must have sent shockwaves through you.
That is so sad. Liked the way you ended it with the song...I heard it last week.
Yes, very sad. Sadly, I was friends to some of these people that died doing the same stupid things I was doing. What is so sad is that even though many years have passed since then, it continues to happen. My heart breaks just reading this. XX
Enjoy the pulse and rhythm of this. Not easy to do and do well. Solid. - Bill
Great poem.
At such an energetic pace.
Typical Frat party from My era..
Great Poem Son...
You did good...
How awful, Brian...and you'd think with age, comes wisdom..but last year...they found my son-in-law's mother dead in her car, in her driveway....did an autopsy and found she had died of alcohol poisoning too...she was in her 50's.
Love the rhythm of this, and the refs to Bacchus (nice touch, esp for college kids who bow to that god before all others--not to mention the whole frat thing), but oh so sad.
The casualties from my generation were all too common. Well done.
woooo! How sad! I bet that was an everlasting effect on those that found him.
You might have snagged the ending of a poem I'm writing, but it was up for grabs and works really well here.
Strange sort of set of coincidences here; I was inspired to write villanelle by Dylan Thomas and Dylan Thomas pretty much died just like this only he staggered to a room upstairs beforehand. What a sad end for anyone.This poem makes the scene so vivid and visual. Well done and well written. Thanks, Gay
the beat goes on...
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
I think you captured the tragedy and even the poignancy of accidental death. Good one, Brian.
I like all the musical emphases. I wrote a poem about the tragedy of Johnstown flood, and did the same sort of thing. I envisioned the story being told in a classical music structure, kind of the way Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" was done, but more aligned with the standard rules of classical music. I took that idea and turned it into a poem. It ended up being eight pages, called "Sonata of Jognstown Flood in A Major."
Anyway, I got off on a tangent, I guess ultimately to tell you how I identified with your piece. Music and tragedy combined.
GOD, we had people die on the way home from parties, in accidents but no one died during. I can see how it stuck with you.
xo
I had a guy I knew die right in front of me in college. Not at a party, but who cares, right? I wrote a poem about it. August 2010 issue of Mipoesias.com if you want to check it out.
Brian, you have really had some experiences in your short life.
It is just marvelous that we have a place to write our thoughts, memories, and whatever else. Blogs are real tension-relievers.
Ohhhhh.............Oh. Oh no.
Such a sad situation - he was somebody's son who probably still miss him so much to this day. Your writing is so special my friend...Hugs
Thank you for your comment! I am fine, just been busy. I'm hoping to publish somethin' soon.
I really enjoyed this unique poem and when I read the note at the end, I gasped. How terrible.:(
Beautifully written, but oh so sad. be well.
Could so easily happen still today... That feeling of omnipotence, immortality and the beat, oh the beat... except it's more drugs than alcohol that's the danger now. How to get through to kids, hey... Well done, Brian!
Could so easily happen still today... That feeling of omnipotence, immortality and the beat, oh the beat... except it's more drugs than alcohol that's the danger now. How to get through to kids, hey... Well done, Brian!
that's horrible :(
you don't need to get drunk to have an awesome party. The beats sounded fine to me.
Wow. I'll bet I knew of a few that came awfully close.
That was so very sad... This happens a lot even here, you hear about young people that perish in this mindless way...
Very poignant post dear Brian,
xoxo
This is so tragic..what a terrible loss. With youth comes a sense of indestructibility and the cursed "It won't happen to me syndrome" but sadly it does happen & it is sad!
A very haunting poem Brian.
Oh my goodness! Terrible terrible terrible.
Well, good morning! Thanks for the cheery wake up! lol. This is SOOOOOOOOOOO sad! With a kid in college this is a good reminder to have that 'talk' again.
What a terrible way to go! Dying all alone and no one noticing!! Sad...so sad!
You captured the irony of the situation so masterfully!
Hugs
SueAnn
it seems I've attended that party, maybe even been the life of it a time or two!
Yea, we think were invinciable at that age...Some of the things we did back then should of killed us...But some arent so lucky...I have never had an alcohol poising in my childhood....It was always a gun shot or car accident on my side of town. Still a youth's life is lost...A sad reality
What a wake up call!
Powerful piece. Your rhythms and onomatopoeia remind me of Vachel Lindsey's The Congo - which I once memorized, all 150 lines of.
Harsh. VERY harsh...and stupid. When we are young we feel invincible don't we? Not.
Oh Lord... I used to be at Keg parties all the time in College...I lived at a sorority house..I never thought of consequences you feel so immortal...I cant imagine how terrible they felt when they found that poor soul....
hautning indeed my gosh, every year, you write so well Brian, you should be a novelist, based on true stories,or not, your writing is excellent, you just bring out so many emotions
sheez! that's hard-hitting and sad. it's always a thin line, huh? well written!
That's a sad story. Young people think nothing can happen to them. And I don't think we will ever change that. That must really be sad for the parents. College just doesn't seem like a place to die.
beating that is
great smile...
How very sad. Your poem captures the sad and raw truth.
We all thought we were invincible at that age.
Sadly, this happens every year in some town, too much taken, too late found. Your poem is beautifully crafted from the onotopoeia of the dj's turntable to the energy and devil-may-care of the kids' attitudes. Heartbreaking and so, so sad. Well Done
Well, it was all fun and games there until the ending. Talk about slamming on the reality brakes! Great clincher, Brian!
chills.
and scares me.
My son is 16.
Dear God.
Oh my. :(
"We were gods..."
So often, in our youth, we think it...this is raw, and imbued with the power that only truth can be. I can see this, here at college, and I shudder at the image. You've captured the spirit, and held it in all its fearsome glory.
Wonderful, but haunting.
Oh, that is just horrible. Your poem depicts that horror well.
didnt expect the ending. this is a true and raw poem which i admire because it captures the unwares of what was happening in the midst of misfortune. sad though. donusho.
The innocent immortality of youth... Friend of mine, first day at Uni steps on to a road chatting, pauses because he thought he heard someone call his name and a car zooms by killing his colleague...Thanks for dropping by. My poem is here Hope your week goes well.
Some RHYME I felt your flow, good work here
Oh, I like that "we were gods."
Very nicely written, a fun read!
damn chilling read
makes me feel kinda guilty fer all the partys bk in the day
Goodness. Wow.
My very favorite line was "(record scratch---white noise)"
Kind of says it all.
a tragic loss, vivid was the poem and the lesson...nice
oh god... that poor soul. I remember how broken my former partner was when his barely teenaged son (whom his ex hadn't allowed him to see for years) died of alcohol poisoning - too sad that this happens.
that is pathetic and a pity too!
what a sad experience....I can't imagine being there when something like that happened.
like watching S King movie...
Sad. You have captured well the party scene, i could imagine the scene, all the tapping and dancing.
It did take me back to those days!
a great piece my friend but what a tragic, sad waste..i reread it and it brought back some sad memories of people i have lost over the years though drink and worse..the drugs..very well written though and praise for that..cheers pete
Amazing piece, Brian. Much darker than your usual fare. I didn't see it coming, taken down the path of frivolity by the "boom bop de boom boom bop." Good one.
what a striking piece Brian..sad but it happens,college days are still alive in my mind, yes..music beats in the lines..:)
Loved the beat to it, Brian!
But the story was too too sad...and to think that it was true!! HORRIFYING!
Why do certain persons do what they do? It's so saddening to see a life go wasted :(
Fun is one thing...yea, we all do that! But limit/control is another.. if only everyone understood that!
This poem can serve as a great message, B.. to many many potential addicts...
Keep up the great (and socially active) work, my dear friend...
Tragic and no beat left. Great write about what happens on any given day even in the 21st century. Heartspell
Wow, what a sad, sad story. Powerful imagery.
Hi! Brian...
I didn't know which way you where going with this poem.
I'am so glad that you explained it to me at the end of your poem what it was leading too.
But, to be totally honest I kind of, had a feeling when I reached this part in your poem...
..."slumped in the corner
drool dripping in..."
When will some people learn that you can die from consuming too much alcohol...On a person note and not to be judgmental, but I have never touched the...stuff!
Thanks,
DeeDee ;-D
startling, sad. before they are old enough to know better. i wonder if that's what the next generation is saying about me right now?
Oh my goodness....so sad. This was always one of my warnings to my kids. Thank you God, they listened well enough.
It always scares me when I hear of the kids playing these darn drinking games where they can hardly stand up and drink the next drink! I know we were just as bad in my day. Your story is just as bad.
Mine is at:
Mine is at:
http://rnsane.blogspot.com/2010/09/flash-55-friday-raging-inferno.html#links
At 65, I've done it! My poetry book – “Life's Journey” by Carmen Henesy - is out on Amazon!
( Poems about the things that have been important to me in my
journey through life - some humorous, some sad, some that may have meaning to you as well )
http://www.amazon.com/Lifes-Journey-1-Carmen-Henesy/
dp/1451547366/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1284040893&sr=1-1
Check out the reviews at my Amazon site to see what others thought of my book
Great crazy word mix-- you are fitting the feel to the event seamlessly.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
you rock. in all ways.
Post a Comment