the first day i saw it, a day much like today, we were playing catch and my dad's throw flew high rolling into the weeds by the edge of the woods. i darted after the ball and he started yelling my name. at the time i did not notice the anxiety in his voice, but as i play it back, every time i play it back, in my mind, it is more pronounced.
it was as if the house just appeared, through a hole in forest. i could not believe i had never noticed it. i started to push further into the trees to get a better look at it, i needed to go there, when his hands grabbed me from behind, spinning me to face him. his face was so close i could feel the heat of his breath, the coffee drank that morning coating each word. he was yelling, though it sounded a whisper, waking me from a dream.
he marched me to the house, everything a blur, we were moving so fast and then going down the stairs into the basement. the cool darkness clinging to the corners, as he clipped on the light dangling by a chain in the middle. it danced there at the end of the chain, following him as he paced back and forth before me telling me how his grandfather had warned him about the house, but he did not listen.
late one night, this boy, that would become my father, snuck out to go see the house in the woods that came to him each night when he lay down for bed, closing his eyes. in the dreams, he saw a beautiful woman standing in the window, her hair flowing in an unfelt breeze, skin pale like diamonds. he raced across the lawn into the woods, limbs snatching the legs of his pajamas until he stood inside the puddle of moonlight that bathed the house.
he saw her there in the window, just like his dreams, but now he was frightened, as her crooked finger beckoned him to enter, the door swinging slowly open, noiseless. he started to shiver, bladder releasing down his leg, as he saw her for what she really was. she became furious, thrashing in the window and he ran, screaming all the way, back to our house, where his father stood waiting as a shadow in its open door.
in telling me this, he knew she would call me as well and i would face her just like all the men in our family that had lived in this house, passed down through the generations. just like i know that one day i will tell this little boy of mine and though i will warn him, he will face her. perhaps, even in fear, he will run, like his grandfather.
i have thought to move away, to remove the opportunity for this to happen to him. every time i put the house up for sale, i end up taking the sign down, placing it with all the others in the garage. my own selfish desires winning over, knowing that if i leave, i can never again go through the doorway, like i did the night she called me.
This is a Magpie Tale.
114 comments:
Ohhh....intriguing! Great writing as usual!
Wow! You grab us once again!
Ah beware women with skin like diamonds, there's coal underneath!
ahhhh!!! creepy!! Makes me want to fill in the unspoken parts of the story in my head!
Fantabulous! Wow! You certainly pulled me in and kept me right where you wanted me to be, like the woman in the window. You served up temptation and I swallowed it hook, line, and sinker! You are good, very good.
Elizabeth
Totally creepy and totally enjoyable for that very reason. Wonderful pacing. You've got an awesome imagination, Brian!
Ooooo! So the spell was cast anyway! You can never leave! Anyway, it's a lovely house. :-)
Creepy yet such a good read.I always enjoy your Magpies.
Love it...so many myths in this one...Hanzel and Gretel...the Old Hag...an on and on...we all have to face her..whether we live near the house or not...she calls us all...nice read...bkm
Not exactly soothing bed time reading...scary! :)
Very intriguing... you definitely draw the reader in, yet leave it so one can only imagine.
A compelling story and one that leaves the reader wanting more.
Loved the description especially ....her hair flowing in an unfelt breeze, skin pale like diamonds.
An excellent tale again.
Oooh, I loved your story! Nice Magpie. :-)
Another taut magpie!
I love the magpies (birds as well as the stories!)
Joy always,
Susan
Spooky but in a good one, leaves me asking questions,
Compelling read as always.
Wow! I have goosebumps!! She was beckoning me and I was eager to see her face. But alas, it ended before I could!
Great story Brian
Hugs
SueAnn
I have arrived at a place where an important writer tells stories...
This was spellbinding, most definitely!
Oooh! Brilliant and leaves you wondering, also some beautifully written lines!
Wow! loved it but am curious to know what happened to you when you had crossed the doorway. Hope you will continue it.
I also hope there's a continuation of this tale... it was brilliant as well as spooky.
Ooooo la la intriguing erie Brian. Blessings...
Like a real Estate Agent from another dimension !
Yes. Those Houses Are Everywhere!
A Brilliant Work Of Writing.
Dear Brian, I am back from my travels trying to catch up with your very productive and enticing writing.
As always, the border between reality and fiction in your writing is impossible to define, making your stories mysterious and enigmatic.;)
The first few lines brought tears to my eyes, due to quite a different reason; reminding me of the past few weeks that I spend with my nieces and nephew. They grow way too fast...
Have a splendid weekend dear friend,
xo
Ohhhh...I like a tale that leaves me wondering and hearing the song, Fascination played in a creepy style, in my head.
Ohhhh...I like a tale that leaves me wondering and hearing the song, Fascination played in a creepy style, in my head.
Ooh Brian,'never again...' that scared the living daylights out of me! Excellento!
You're not washing her dishes to are you Brian. Besides after all this time she may be a bit old or you and your son.
Very scary. Very Freudian.
Thank you Brian. :)
Oftentimes beautiful and intriguing on the OUTSIDE and oh, so very EVIL on the inside.
BEWARE!
I loved this and would hope you'll someday continue on with it. Excellent!
no WM...i only wash dishes at home...this one is fiction, kind of...for me it was more about the generational temptations we seem to fall into, regardless of the warnings by those that have been through it...we all have those that have bitten us i imagine....
You are such a natural storyteller. Loved it!
I read this because it's you,
brilliant,
but I couldn' t read a book like this... it would haunt for days
Wow! great tension and mystery!
that house didn't look spooky to me till now...
Oh, you tricky guy, really good story.
This was sooooooo..good..creepy..but good...LOL!!!!!!
love Baino's comment...
Yow. Is your last name King? Do you live on Elm? Creepy feeling awash today with this one.
I went Oh!at the end, I loved that was the reason he didn't sell. There is so much unease in this piece and there is so much opportunity for future conflict - are you writing more on it?!
The images were beautiful esp -
hair flowing in an unfelt breeze, skin pale like diamonds.
Well Done!
Brian, this is absolutely mesmerizing. I need to click on that link and find out what this magpie tale business is all about!
I so wish "gripping tale" wasn't a cliche! I need it right now to explain the beautiful magnetism in this wonderfully controlled pace of building tensions and questions!
wonderful writing. great story. But I wonder what would happen if he would have gone inside.
would be great we could put it up for sale that easy...
Very creepy, Brian. Who will break the spell, I wonder. Wonderful writing!
Oh Oh OH, I loe this one...ssssooooop much. I could see here, her finger, my heart actually jumped in my chest...so well done.
Steven Anthony
Man Dish~Metro Style
&
Life in the Fish Bowl
Please tell me you have part 2 ready to post.
Oh, what a wonderful, mysterious story!
I've met her, too.
Very intriguing and spooky too.Great as always Brian!
Ohhh...spooky. My favorite kind! Very nice.
Wow! Excellent tale, Brian.
You rocked this one. Your brain works in awesome ways. When your creepy side lurks out, I'm drawn in and can't seem to get away no matter how much I try.
Oh, Brian. You can write like the most accomplished artist I have ever read. I am so glad you are a blogger so I can have these little snippets to munch on.
Really spooky but great writing.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
wait a second, I thought you ran away, no no that was your father?
did the speaker or didn't he?
hmmmm
she is a siren, for sure.
desired and feared.
life can be like that!
have fun with those boys, and don't scare em too much.
Dianne
Great writing! Great intrigue! Loved it!
Love it when the suspense is there at the beginning..and I can't put it down.
You can move..there's more like her in another neck of the woods!
DANG! She must have been good at . . . something.
a true artist can create a great atmosphere, and u my friend do it in abundance, best story yet :)
I wouldn't have sold either!
So drawn in... just like he was...well done. :) heartspell
Gosh, that last paragraphy got to me!!....
((Catching up on all of your previous posts/writing as well.))
Ah...how the beauty of a woman can turn into ugliness :).
ooooh. nice one
Wow. A cross between Boo Radley and a siren. Eerie.
This is wicked in every sense of the word!
i actually stray from the supernatural with this one and you go for the creepy. :) well done
Hi! Brian...
What a very descriptive and well-written "Magpie Tales"...Creepy, eerie, and crossing the line into the occult!
(or supernatural!)
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
Wow! Had me hooked and kept me hooked. Well done ... and the mystery hangs in weighted air. Fine work, Brian. Thanks!
I really enjoy your writing. Captivating.
hey brian, what's up? i loved your magpie, such depth and such a rich character!
thanks so much for asking how i was...i had withdrawls for the first week and i was angry but i'm trying to rework my priorities and enjoy what i'm called to do in this season :) as always, you hold such a special place in my heart!
Oh please. Males always react like that any time a woman says, "we need to talk." ;-)
Always beware of women in the woods...selling apples, or living in gingerbread houses....you can't trust any of them....
Oh, very eerie, Brian. I have chills and the hair on my arms is standing straight up. I'm not sure I want to go to bed now.
Thank you so much for your wonderful words on my blog and Jamie's. You are a good friend.
This was a weird one, Brian. :)
You are amazing. Seriously amazing writing.
ur previuous post...this boy...is awesome!!
sry 4 missin ur posts :P
i dun rly get on blog much these days!
Wow what a tale, scary and wonderful at the same time.
A gripping read. Thanks.
Wonderfully written magpie! =)
-Weasel
Okay, now I'm going to have nightmares about this! I just can't look away, much like he can't move away.
A little creepy, a little folie à deux-ish.
scary scary....and intriguing
Well done!
A bit freaky. Crooked fingers are always freaky.
very very good Brian. I was held, each word, each sentence. Very descriptive and excellent way of leading through the story. Loved the lesson within as well!
You always manage to capture my imagination and hold it hostage for the duration of your blog post. Nicely done.
Brrr! Gave me the shivers. Really enjoyed reading it.
nice write, unfortunately my brain is too tired to fill in the blanks today, wishing you had done that for us! Hope you are having a great sunday.
Expand and expound. No, really... expand and expound. This stuff sells, but not in blog-length.
Wow talk about turn of events I start thinking this is a childhood discovery when Bam! it almost becomes scary! I loved the flow of this!
You explore the inner dynamic between familiarity and adventure so well. It's within us all, a thrill for discovery.
Just like all the others, I was pulled in immediately. But unlike everyone else, I didn't think it was creepy at all. Even dark forces can be beautiful.
Or maybe there's something wrong with me :)
Brian! This is such a great story! Wow. Just wow. I wonder if your son will follow the mysterious woman...
Oh how I wish there was a follow-up story!
Wow !!! That was the first word came to my mind when i finished reading it.... It had such a fresh ending... simply loved it... This piece was great Brian !!!
Come closer and see
See into the trees
Find the girl
While you can
Come closer and see
See into the dark
Just follow your eyes
Just follow your eyes
I hear her voice
Calling my name
The sound is deep
In the dark
I hear her voice
And start to run
Into the trees
Into the trees
Into the trees
Suddenly I stop
But I know it's too late
I'm lost in a forest
All alone
The girl was never there
It's always the same
I'm running towards nothing
Again and again and again
excellent story!
or was it non-fiction?!
good job!
I echo the creepy sentiment as well, but that's what makes it so intriguing.
Houses have souls too.
I want to know more about this creepy story . . . so it must be a good one. Well done.
Whoa! Truly creepy!
creepy in the male weakness for temptation
even risking his own child's future
now that is real creepy
I always wait to read any of the magpies until I've done mine. This sure was worth waiting for! Amazingly creepy, mysterious, and a delicious tale. Bravo!
lol @ fireblossom's comment. this was a great read, Brian :) loved the enticement of the house
Whoa! he went in?! at least the guy is still alive so i guess she's not some wicked, evil monster chick...or is he under a spell? anyway, very cool, creepy and fab. sounds like it could be a neat short story.
Disturbing. Some friends and I went into an abandoned house in our neighborhood once only to have the cops called on us. what did we do? we ran. :)
A good twist at the end of this dark tale. You leave us guessing as to what happened when 'you' entered the house in the woods. Obviously something you don't want to happen to your son! Perhaps now IS the time to move on?
Blessings, Star
What a fascinating read, Brian!! As ever!! Gave me the chills!
But what I most enjoyed was the end you gave it... the "selfish desire" bit... I really really liked that a lot!!!!
An awesome take on the Mag, B....
Oh heavens, will I never learn to NOT read this stuff at bedtime?
Stunning, vivid, and a host of superlatives!
What a chilling story filled with intrigue! Glad it's fiction! Loved it!
Absolutely delicious. The fear pulls and repels at the same time. There is a rite of passage and a sense of tradition going on too. A marvelous tale that was a real treat to read!
Ooh, creepy!
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