this boy
barely eight
had a stroke
lost his legs &
one arm
half his fingers
cripple
handicapped
before life really began, but...
don't you dare
don't you dare
pity him
give up on him
because
he will be
he will be
an artist
a painter
poet
of life
and is
beautiful
beautiful.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Posting early, as i have pretty much all week, because my computer is in for a tune up. I get it back tomorrow though. Will try to get back on in a bit...if not I will catch up with you tomorrow.
Posts
109 comments:
ha. the formatting actually took...this is my first try at this form of poetry...each side is a poem in and of itself, but can be read all together as a third...
Wow! Very cool...congratulations on the formatting working for you.
very well written mate and it worked great, sad poem though, thanks for your visits daily I appreciate it ;)
Very well done Brian ... it did work! Great poetic trilogy!! Sad but true..that taking pity on those with a disability and feeling sorry for them only places a cap on what their abilities could possibly become if only nurtured the right way! Love the sentiment in this!
Just beautiful....as always my friend, you amaze.
Steven Anthony
Man Dish~Metro Style
&
Life in the Fish Bowl
Oh my God.. That made me sooo sad... I just said a thank you prayer to God for my healthy kids.... WOW!! That was powerful
The form is very fitting. It looks like a piece of art and the two columns made me think of crutches.
I like your format, and the words are wonderful.
Brian...
I kinda know your situation, so I'm lightening up on you this week.
Fantastic 55 Son..
This was a masterpiece!
Hope youn had a GREAT Birthday week, hope you get your PC back soon, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!
Fabulous! both in form and in content..and most of all in your heart.
wow - this is cool - got a bit confused first though….great poem - with words of hope where lots of people would see only suffering
Totally cool format, never heard of it before. Looks like it would be a challenge to pull off though...obviously not for a genius like you...this really sang to me.
First off, I didn't even SEE the right hand column till you mentioned it! LOL!
You totally amaze me! Not one, not two, but THREE poems in and of themselves that merge into one? How the heck do you continue to put out such wonderful pieces?
I wo0ndered how you did it.
Is it true?
As always, I loved it.
i love this brian. it has so much heart... compassion is beauty. and i'm sorry your house seems so empty with child gone! how fast they fly away, no? but on wings of faith, no doubt... (i love that you linked up--would you mind adding an imperfect prose button or url on your post? if that's ok...peace, e.)
Oh, I love it!
Really good Brian. I like that.....
I think it would be difficult to write actually three poems that are actually two incorporated into one. Or whatever it is, it is great.
Nothing can be ruled out can it? Both in poetic form and human resilience...
good work my friend.
Wow .. I did read it both ways. Very beautifully done. As always.
wow
what a great execution.. absolutely beautiful.
wow,and your poem is absolutely beautiful too!
Tough challenge made harder. Grea job B. Mine will be up later. (still processing)
Awesome job! (but you practically ripped my heart out with this one, Brian!)
Enjoy the syncopation of this poem and its meaningful theme.
A triptych... a cleave... no matter how you cut it, this is a profound rendering, Brian.
Brian, I had a sneaking suspicion that I could read this piece as three separate poems. I was delighted when I read your comment and found out that was the case! Woohoo! I'm smart and intuitive... and stuff!
Great poems by the way. Heartfelt and positive. Beautiful. That is one boy I would be honoured to know. :)
"...don't you dare give up on him..." I love this line. Great form.
Nice pair of poems.
O.K., this was fun and beautiful. Cool format.
This girl is awe-struck by your poem!!
Hugging you
SueAnn
thanks g! i did get a loaner this evening and will have mine back tomorrow but the grace is appreciated....smiles.
i hope i did not take away from the sotry with my exuberance over the form....it is all too real...but he inspires me even in the pain we go through together...
This certainly makes me want to call off the pity party I've been giving myself. Great 55 as always.
55 Flash Fiction Friday: Time Out
After reading your comment, I went back and read it again...I really like all three! I love stories of people who overcome their trials and challenges, who rise above.
OMG. Brian...well, you have left me speechless. I'm sure my husband would like to learn how to do that. Fantastic. Have a great weekend!
It is a hard road though and many just can't get on top of it.
Thanks Brian for the thoughtful 55
glad it's only your computer that is ill
Changing Tide here
ya know Bri....just when I spend an hour trying to put a few handfuls of words on paper, I come over here and see once again what true brilliance looks like and then......
I head back to the shredder shaking my head.
Brilliant kiddo! as always!!
Love it Brian....the right, the left and the total package.
PG
Interesting format for the poem, and true that you can't write anyone off.
Brilliant my friend. Three poems together.
definitely brilliant, in all aspects.
Great formatting and a powerful message.
What a challenging format and you succeeded splendidly! Hope your computer is back up and running soon. Have a great weekend!
I swear, you could be handed any number of words and make something fantastic of them!
Really cool, Brian.
Three poems in one - wonderful and moving!
Now this was a marvellous creation. Three poems in one shot! Cool.
Joy always,
Susan
cool!
Stunning, Brian...excellently executed. The subject matter spot on!
Thanks for your visit to my 55!
Eaton. :))
That was cleverly done. I like it!
You are pure genius my friend. I love this format and even before I read your comment I saw the two poems side by side and then went and read the whole thing. Spectacular words :) Have a great Friday :)
Clever, but rather upsetting, uh. I see nothing grand about misfortune and suffering. It's only those who've never suffered who tell you that it doesn't hurt.
All the best, Boonie
As usual your words are an inspiration - in more ways than one.
Keep up the great work.
Actually words fail me, Brian, because the extent of your talent is overwhelming.
Interesting approach Brian..... and it works. Thanks for sharing. Blessings.
eratic format, great content.
Love it! Well done Brian.
boon...it def hurts...and is a major challenge which seems the greatest understatement in the world...most look at someone like that and see only the ugly though...he is beautiful...and has an incredible heart...and anger...but...so perhaps the beauty is not in the suffering but the overcoming...
This was beautiful. The format made the poem seem even more powerful. You are an artist.
This was beautiful. The format made the poem seem even more powerful. You are an artist.
Now that's original Brian, but not easy to do the formatting, especially if it's anything like WP! It's trial and error at best, saving drafts, editing, etc. what a pain! The story-line is lovely once again, guaranteed to make us realise it is our heart, brain and personality that counts for everything.
original & beautiful
Yes, at first I didn't see the right side, but this is really, really neat! And how odd that right before I read this, there was a news story about a guy who is a painter and has no arms. Wild co-inky-dink,
the formatting definitely added to the tone of this. It's very sweet and sad at the same time. Lovely, Brian.
Sad, but uplifting in the end.
yes Brian, these children are beautiful and perfect just as they are, and they are as precious as anybody else ... only those who have been through their experience can fully understand though, I think ... now I'm going to hide my face and cry my own anger away ...
Nice form -- and a good reminder!
WOW! Beautiful is THIS
Great 55
As always Brian!!
Hi! Brian-
What a lovely, poem...let me go back and reread each side separately. Because I was reading from left to right.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
Interesting format but the content is what's really beautiful. Never underestimate the power or potential of anyone....I know this up close and personal, have a great weekend!
I love what you did with this. A 3-fer. My lucky day.
Brian,
I feel as if I might have struck a nerve. It was not my intention to do so. If I did I apologise unreservedly.
Thanks for your response. I hear and agree with all you say.
Take care my friend,
Boonie
intimate and sweet, very clever writing style and i read it more then once.
you know how to do it...
beautiful writing
and
I like the idea of two columns...
Nice format. And a good message. We can be what we choose, limited only by us.
wow that is real nifty BM! took me a minute to realize what I was looking at lol AWESOME!
Loved this, together or separate.
Great, great message too!
...smiles
very uplifting, well done!
smiles,
This is excellent.
I really like the echo effect of this.
pity is the last thing anyone needs... love your 55, and the form works wonderfully as 1/2/3 stories. Layers. Well done!
This was really neat! Three poems for the price of one. :)
This was wonderful. Not just a format, but a power piece in its own right.
Mine is here
Wow - unique!
Clever use of form to capture the feel of the boys experience. Thanks for dropping by to hear or read my Friday 55
This was so sad but touching. I'm impressed with your desire to explore different poetry expression. I've never seen this type of verse before.
I like it! The story and the formatting. It did take some concentration to read it correcly! lol Happy Weekend.
Lovely Brian, always amazes me the strength I often see in others. take care, enjoy your weekend.
That's right, never give up on him. Very well said.
And, this is beautiful, too.
Wow. Very cool. I can't imagine how much time this took. I'm beginning to think that in addition to being a romantic husband, dedicated father, committed advocate of the young, and writer extraordinaire, you are also a magician.
Would you make me younger and thinner, please?
Very interesting form.
And awesome poem!
xo
Hi Brian, I just provided a link for this inspiring poem. All the best.
SO powerful!!
so very very lovely and bang-up formatting, makes it work beautifully.
Awesome how two separate merge to become a third!
well done, as always
So beautiful. You really made the form work for you. (I read it as one & then went back & separated the strands). There's a book called Joyful Noise: Poems for Two Voices by Paul Fleischman--do you know it?--that uses this format. Each poem is meant to be read as call and response...
My heart goes out to this boy. Thank you for sharing his story.
This was such a cool trick. I'm going to do it with my guys, we will enjoy it...
It came out very nicely, Brian. VERY NICELY.
I am in awe at your versatility, wonderfully done. Bravo
Have a nice week end, with your family,
Cheers,
Joanny
Outstanding job...but I don't think I'll try it, Brian...it's too hard to teach this old girl new tricks.
THIS WAS BRILLIANT!
This was like 3 reads in one!!!
The thought behind the story - this by itself is excellent...
But the style.. phheww!!! My gosh!
All I can say is, You ROCK, Brian!!! You really do!!!
So short and yet so very poignant; a painter and poet of life - what else can one ask for...
Love the formatting.;)
xo
LOVE THIS!
What a message Brian.
Excellent.
fantastic.
I love that I never know what to expect here too...
A sad but beautifully written and crafted piece of work. I love how you remind us that we are not the only ones that "exist" in this world...and that life may seem difficult, but there is always someone out there who has it worse than we do. Appreciate that about you and your writing.
This is interesting formating, which did indeed add to the poem, which was lovely ... and touching .... and have none someone this could be about. Bravo, Brian!
My favorite ever.
Never give up is a wonderful message!
Wonderful, wonderful work, Brian. Don't you dare give up on him!
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