Monday, July 26, 2010

my name is...

i lied, the night we met,
telling you my name was Roman---
the anonymity felt good
after getting out of the hospital &
i was learning to breathe again---
putting my pieces back together
after breaking
d
o
w
n---
but by the end of the night
i let you in, scribbling it
down in orange colored
pencil on torn scrap paper,
because it was all we could
find & when you read it
out loud & my name crossed your lips
i wanted to poke it back in
with my finger
because it felt
like home.

98 comments:

Meeko Fabulous said...

Isn't it a beautiful thing when you meet the person that can do that for you? :)

Steven Anthony said...

when you find the one who allows you to open your heart and be yourself....oh my, nothing better.

beautiful

Becky said...

Lovely!

Candie Bracci said...

Truely beautiful Brian :)

Mighty M said...

So much passion in this poem - love it!

slommler said...

So beautiful Brian! When that special someone finally comes into your life...there is nothing better. And when they say your name...oh my...your knees go weak!
Love this one!
Hugs
SueAnn

Sam Liu said...

I can feel the passion and the deeply-held emotion of this piece, Brian. It was beautiful to read.

Alexis Hallum said...

This just gave me the biggest smile....chills too.

Alexis Hallum said...

This just gave me the biggest smile....chills too.

TALON said...

I really liked this, Brian. Some people do just get through our protective guards and it does feel like they belong right there with us. I loved the "down" - added a great element.

Monkey Man said...

Sounds violent to me. Poking the name back into her mouth with your finger....ouch. 'Course I lean to the sick and twisted side of life.

otin said...

A little truth here or strictly fictional? Hard to tell with you sometimes!

THE BEATY said...

great and I liked how you had the word down literaly going down

Brian Miller said...

all real...we met shortly after my break down/panic attack...wrote my name & number in orange...but saw her in the cafe before she could call...

Brian Miller said...

and i did use roman as my name...

TechnoBabe said...

It is meaningful to be invited into your intimate times. You and your wife are two special people.

Kat_RN said...

I like it.
Kat

Me said...

Oh my gosh...this gave me goosebumps. The last lines, especially. Wow.

I didn't realize you had this in your past, Brian. I've battled panic attacks and an anxiety disorder for a long time, myself... I'm *mostly* winning, these days...
-C

william said...

awe u big softy lol :)

Eva Gallant said...

I never know if what you write is from experience or imiagination; in any case, it's always wonderful.

Brian Miller said...

eva, between you and otin, i may just have to give up writing fiction...

AlmondJoycie said...

Every time I read your stuff I think "this guy should be on a best seller list". You put together great stories and simply need to be published. I imagine myself watching Oprah talk about her pick and the man sitting next to her is telling the story of how he once had a blog called waystation one. And I will jump out of my seat and want to share that moment with someone, "Hey, I read his blog! He even read mine!"

That's why I nominate you for the Pink Award, my friend.
http://joycefied.wordpress.com/2010/07/27/seven-things-about-me-and-the-pink-award/

Tom said...

wild!

Maha said...

From my opinion, the most beautiful way you could convey a great meaning, is by weaving it within simple words. You did that so skillfully in a jaw-dropping way!

Jaime said...

don't give up writing the fiction. but this is great

Tracie said...

So much honesty and beauty in these words.

Pat said...

This just oozes with love. Sigh

Tracy said...

Roman? Hahaha. JOKING. Sweet poem, Brian. I like the romantic side of you best. (But don't tell anyone.)

Betsy said...

This is so sweet. And didn't you tell a friend you were going to marry her after seeing her for the first time? awwwww...

sheri said...

wow! i wanted to use the word sensual but that just doesn't cut it, brian...a little help here!! no woman in their right mind would ever let this fella go...reminding me of melting chocolate :)

Maggie said...

:O This was very lovely Brian.

Respectfully Yours said...

Wow, that was so lovely. Nice.

Brian Miller said...

i did betsy...smiles. i have told this one a couple times...glad you remembered.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Your wife is one lucky lady! A man who will express his love in such a way is a rare and beautiful thing! I am lucky, too, he who is not gifted with your particular talent is very adept at expressing his love and caring in so many ways. I married before when I was very young to a man who expressed himself with his fist. I have spent the last 35 years being treated like someone who is truly loved and treasured. I don't take that for granted.

ModernMom said...

:) Meant to be!

Baino said...

Actually, I think he still needs a fair bit of therapy. Why does everyone assume it is a woman he's talking to? Could be his shrink, old mate?

Smart Mouth Broad said...

"It felt like home. But no home I've ever known."

Magpie said...

You share your life and deep insights with us in drips and pieces...wonderful.

Joanie M said...

wow. that was lovely!

Ed Pilolla said...

this is so fun and revealing and that d-o-w-n felt like dropping my ass a foot in the air. cool stuff.

Jen said...

Now I'm curious why you chose the name Roman as your pseudonym. And I'm hoping spelling doesn't count.

ds said...

Wow. Those last lines left goosebumps. You are remarkable (so is she, as I gather this is true). Brave, also.

eugene said...

Hi Brian,dropping by and reading this post of yours makes me happy.

g-man said...

Thanks for your daily inspiration Brian. You are one of the finest people on this planet
Love you like a Son...

Felicitas said...

To feel so safe with another person that you are comfortable revealing who you are is a gift. This is a really lovely piece, Brian.

Boonsong said...

You are so talented Brian. Thanks for sharing this.

Have a good day, Boonsong

adeeyoyo said...

Oh, yes, yes, yes! That wonderful feeling - recaptured! *smiles*

Susan Deborah said...

Brian:

I loved what Almondjoycie wrote about you. How warm and lovely! You turn every event in your life a wonderful read for us. That's what gives soul to the writing.

(Aside) I was looking for 55, prompt, 65 . . . nothing surfaced. Today it is just plain posting. Great. Smiles.

Joy always,
Susan

heartspell said...

What's in a name? A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...Roman, Brian...I am sure the name was LOVE. Beautiful, transparent, lovely...Romeo
Heartspell

ladyfi said...

Just wonderful when you feel like that! Your words capture the giddy feeling of like very well...

Bernie said...

It doesn't happen very often so the memory is ever lasting.
.......:-) Hugs

Zuzana said...

There is something infinitely sensual having someone we love say our name.;))
Lovely poem as always dear Brian.;))
Sorry if my visits this week will be a bit sporadic; hope it is a good one for you.;))
xoxo

Cindy said...

Oh Brian, this is so beautiful!

Just Be Real said...

Just being real...... Blessings Brian.

Goofball said...

Roman? is that a name?

Lorraine said...

you rock even in the spaces between your words...what talent!

Mr. Stupid said...

I really liked this. Great post, Brian. So much beauty and passion is filled in this piece. Smiles...

Valerie said...

Brian, that was beautiful.

Birdie said...

sigh for the beauty of this post Brian! you always open so many old memories that I cherish inside of me yet I put them on 'hold' bc of the busy days ...

Birdie said...

I meant 'of my own old memories' ...

chiccoreal said...

Dear Roman er Dennis: You do know how to get and stay in character! Totally convinced! The breakdown becomes you until you have a breakthrough and pull the pieces of shattered "Roman's" life back together again. Not an easy task, mind you!

chiccoreal said...

Oops meant Dear Brian! I was thinking of a friend I know Dennis Miller! Geesh have you noticed how many Millers in the phone book? More than Jones! Please excuse my Freudian slip! Love your piece you are Brilliant Brian! :)

Daniel said...

Nice. Very nice.

Vicki Lane said...

What a great image you ended on!

natalee said...

Roman??? I love this

Jessie said...

pure, simple lines
architectually modern and i loved it!

warm smiles,

Brian Miller said...

ha. where did Roman come from...you may remember that the band i was in was called Romulus...which came from my goth/vampire name Romulus...(dont hate on me, lol)...but it may go back further to be subjected to soap operas every afternoon when our aunt kept us...smiles.

The Empress said...

yeah, that one made me cry. I think we all want that, and miss it when we don't have it in our lives.

beautifully put.

JStar said...

This melted my heart...I always lied about my name and age when I was younger lol...

The Urban Cowboy said...

Right on Brian, you the man!

rhythmofmysoul said...

A very passionate poem.. Lovely!!

Tony Single said...

Oh, I thought you were called Roman because your thoughts would always go a-roamin', as evidenced by your prolific output!

Okay, I admit it. That was a pun worthy of the death penalty. :P

AmyLK said...

I am still waiting for that one who will make my knees go weak just saying my name. My prince will come! Lovely words, Brian.

The Girl from Cherry Blossom Street said...

My first question was why Roman?
But then you already answered that. :-)

Rene/ Not The Rockefellers said...

Brian this is so fecking hot.
I am completely jealous.

Mona said...

I like the idea of poking back words in ppl's mouths. I would like to do that to many loud mouths!

fuifduif said...

So beautiful. Keep up the good work. : )

Bing (PinkLady) said...

i know this feeling... i so know it!!! isn't it lovely? awesome poem, brian!

thanks for the nice comment in my blog. =)

Tina said...

Really liked this one. Such real, raw emotion.

drybottomgirl said...

I liked the intimacy of this poem. I felt almost intrusive as I watched this unfold. Thanks for sharing this "personal" experience of such a tender moment.....

nsiyer said...

Love is the name.

Shadow said...

opening one's heart... very necessary.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

poets have such tender hearts! :)

Sophia said...

The best thing in life is meeting/finding that one person that allows you to be completely you, accepts you for you - never judging, criticizing, etc. Funny how we try to "protect" out hearts from that and then before we know it, we are head over heels for that individual. Love how you were able to capture this within your writing. Powerful.

BLOGitse said...

Beautiful, lovely...
Even if I don't comment every work you write I read them all.
I'm a fan! :)
Greetings from Casa!

Claudia said...

That gave me goosebumps - you "let her in" - started to trust - started to reveal...reminds me of the one, who calls us by name...intimate writing..

Syd said...

Really nice Brian.

signed...bkm said...

very nice Brian, the fear of revealing oneself and then opening up...with a sigh that yes, everything is going to be alright...bravo...bkm

Help! Mama Remote... said...

Hum...its hard to let someone in after a breakdown or break up

only a movie said...

& when you read it
out loud & my name crossed your lips
i wanted to poke it back in
with my finger
because it felt
like home


Really love that. Well done, Brian.

AlmondJoycie said...

Brian, after reading your poem, like some 12 hours later, I realized that I wrote a poem based on my husband and my first meeting. He, too, gave me a name other than his own. Almost Roman, Romeo. And I gave him a false name as well, Lynda. Long story, not all contained in my verse, but I thought I would share it with you.

http://joycefied.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/a-sonnet-for-those-star-crossed-lovers-romeo-and-lynda/

blueviolet said...

You went through a lot before that moment. It's nice to know you met someone who felt safe to you.

deb said...

Brian,
this is incredible.
sometimes your imagery just takes my breath away.

and I'm so happy that you met this love of your life.

not so much re your break down. the mind is a mysterious thing.

Jen said...

LOL. Me, too. When I read the name I immediately thought "Roman Brady"...but I thought no way he's a Days of Our Lives fan...

Liza said...

on your writing...
the better it gets,
the better it gets!

I love the way your words are displayed here.

"i wanted to poke it back in
with my finger
because it felt
like home."

Gee whiz Brian,
that's good!

Caty said...

this was beautiful, Brian :)

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Nice.

You are so good at putting feelings into words.

Very nice, Brian

Marla said...

Seriously...can we adopt you?