Sunday, July 4, 2010

160 - in/dependence

we had a freeze out
windows down
A/C up
N the van
on the way
2 C flowers of light
explode N2 bloom;
freedom is the breeze
that blows through
barely noticed
til gone.

What can you say in 160 characters? (spaces included) Go see Monkey Man.

I am double dipping 160 today, drop by One Shot Poetry if you get a chance, and join us on Wednesdays where you can take your One Shot by posting original poetry and linking up.

86 comments:

Mrsupole said...

First finally.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Hi Brian,

We have been having a lot of June gloom and we are so happy about it. In a month or so when it gets to be over 110 degrees and no matter what you do, and one cannot get cool, then June gloom will be missed so much. I have never figured out what they think is so gloomy about a cool day. The clouds burn off before noon and we have a sunny afternoon. Nothing gloomy about that. At least it is still cooling down in the evenings. The only bad thing about the gloom is that the humidity levels go up but so far they have been okay. It is when we have high humidity and temps over 100 that suck.

Flowers in bloom are such a beautiful sight and freezing in a van is not too bad either. Great 160.

I hope you and your family have a great Fourth of July. Do you get to take the boys to see a parade? And why does a BBQ always seem so perfect on this day? We should be thankful they picked this day, it would just not be the same if it was a winter day. One can never have too much BBQ.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Should I chance it and be third too. It has been so long since I have been able to be first, second and I better stop writing to make it to third.

GBA

Mrsupole said...

I better go for fourth to wish you a Happy Fourth of July.

GBAA

slommler said...

Great 160! Freezing in the van...Ha!
And I can't get enough of seeing the flowers in bloom! So beautiful!!
Have a wonderful 4th!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Brian Miller said...

haha. you are cracking me up...we went to a thing yesterday called freedomfest...they had horseback riding and big bounce houses for the boys...live music...free food...going to fireworks tonight and they are having big slip n slides for the kids...side note: craziness, driving home last night we passed a restaurant, smoke pouring out from behind...pulled over their A/C unit was on fire...rattled the door to make sure no one was inside and called it in...luckily the breaker blew and it died even before the fire dept got there...so we has some extra excitement along the way...have a great 4th mrsu!

5thsister said...

"...freedom is the breeze that blows through barely noticed til gone."

How true! Happy 4th to you as well.

Pauline said...

if you can do that with 160 words what could you do with 360!

Mr. Stupid said...

Great 160. This was beautiful, Brian. Happy fourth.

Daniel said...

Good way to start off my day. Great Job. Enjoy yourself today.

Ocean Girl said...

I could not follow Brian. But it still sounded so beautiful.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

nicely writtten.

Tom said...

yeah..it's getting hot--again! The heat goes hand in hand with the
4th...great string of words!

Lorraine said...

Happy 4th dear Neighbourf, love your writing, always

TechnoBabe said...

Freedom gradually taken. We don't notice it until it is so apparent.
I hope you and your family have an enjoyable fourth of July together.

Vicki Lane said...

Love the 'freedom is the breeze" line!

Bonnie said...

wonderful analogy for freedom ...

Have a very happy 4th of July!

Eva Gallant said...

That was amazing. Fireworks definitely are flowers of light!

Sam Liu said...

Brilliant 160, Brian. Beautifully written and with such a poignant message for us all :)

Vodka Mom said...

you are ONE busy dude.


and a talented one, at that.

x

f82bfat said...

very patriotic and creative use of texting shortcuts. You manage to convey an entire eventful time in 160 . Happy 4th.

artswebshow said...

I'm gonna have a go very soon.
I like yours.

annell said...

I enjoyed freezing in the van....I guess I'm a magpie. You know they can talk, or at least say what we say.

Caty said...

I love the last line...we do tend to take our freedom for granted. Great 160! Hope you and your family have a great 4th and get to enjoy "those flowers of light exploding into bloom" Great description by the way!

Betsy said...

Sounds like your boys are having a weekend full of fun.

Love the line about the freedom breeze...

Claudia said...

So cool what you can do with 55 words - even cooler what you do with 160 characters..
What's coming next?! Really like it!

CM said...

My boys love it when we drive with the windows down. Happy 4th!

Wow, crazy thing about the restaurant on fire!

LadyFi said...

Love the poetry - and the sentiment. We only really appreciate freedom when it is gone.

Monkey Man said...

Hope your Fourth is a good one. Thanks for playing again this week.

Mama Zen said...

I remember playing freeze out!

Helen said...

I love the concept of 'freedom as breeze' ~ Your Magpie is a great one! Clever and concise with that 160 requirement!

PattiKen said...

Lovely summer adventure with the family, Brian, and all in 160. (And we all know what you can do with 360.)

Happy 4th to you and your family too, my friend.

Lori said...

Very nice. I hope you and yours have a wonderful day just being together and get to see some great fire works!

Magpie said...

Wonderful, descriptive words...
"flowers of light"
"freedom is the breeze"
You are beyond talented.
Have a safe and fantastic Fourth!!

starlaschat said...

One stop poetry looks like fun. Great idea, hope it is a grand success. Could inspire me to write a few poems.;+)

Happy 4th.
Starla

Alice Audrey said...

Freeze out? Is that a game?

Sometimes the difference between freedom and decadence is a matter of perspective.

Lanie said...

awesome, i could hear the windows being shut down and feel the "A/C up". nice!

sheri said...

such a beautiful visual, brian! i love celebrating the fourth with our usual gathering but i never want to forget that this is a wonderful nation, founded on Godly principles that give freedom even when our government doesn't!
hope you and yours have a fantastic day! and thanks so much for being 'there' even when i'm not :)

TALON said...

I love the line about freedom, Brian. It's so true - we never know what we've got till it's gone.

Have a beautiful Fourth of July!

otin said...

That last line about freedom being an unnoticed breeze is very good!

Lisa said...

Happy 4th of July! As always, great post!

The Urban Cowboy said...

"barely noticed
til gone."

Very nice, Brian...I wish your last line wasn't true.

Just Be Real said...

Only 160? Great! Happy 4th to you and your family Brian!

Brian Miller said...

i will get off the text speak...been reading a poetry book by 2pac and picked it up...smiles

CM...was some crazy stuff...

Hope everyone has a great 4th!

gayle said...

Happy 4th!! Sounds like you are having a great weekend. Love your160.

marie said...

happy 4th!

Pete Marshall said...

great 160 pardner..in fact great 320..cheers Pete

island of peace said...

beautiful. you brought it to life.

william said...

very good post friend, apt for the 4rth of july, wish u all the best :)

island of peace said...

happy independence day!

Ed Pilolla said...

freedom is the breeze. great stuff.

Teri said...

Brian--I love how you are taking words and making them mean more than one thing. Great play. Love those flowers in the air on the 4th, don't you? Nothing like it to top off a celebration. Let freedom ring, right?

Brian Miller said...

loud and clear teri...loud and clear...

ds said...

Scary thing to happen to a van; glad everyone is okay. Love the flower image. You play so well with words. Your "freeze out" brought to mind that classic (roll eyes here) 70s (?) song "Freak Out"...but you didn't so you are here for me to wish you & yours a very happy 4th. Enjoy!

heartspell said...

Happy 4th of July! Great 160 that I see can be interpreted in a million ways...makes it lovelt! Heartspell

Dianne said...

Great ending message, and don't you just stop in amazement when real life offers more fire-works than anything contrived or synthetic? Thanks for reading and commenting. our boys get to fire off works tonight.
dianne

christine said...

Hi Brian
Of course not being American the fireworks for the 4TH of July didn't occur to me and I will admit even though I have a grand daughter who text speaks to me I had to read your poem through aloud to 'c wht it ment!' And yes you once again excelled in your choice of words n how you wrote them in text speak.
I did particularly like 2 C flowers of light. When I was young my home town in South Wales had a firework display each year through September and when I leaned right out of my bedroom window I could see their spectacular display and yes they were like 'flowers of light'
Christine

r3m3mb3rm3 said...

like the imagery
):)(:(

r3m3mb3rm3 said...

wow really ive only read about jail cells and seen it sometimes on movies but ive been even close to one. thanks for the comments i dont really get a lot of them mainly because i havent told anyone yet.
):)(:(

Stafford Ray said...

Damn! Cellphonespeak has infected my computer! Hv 2 By Norton 4 my protection! Liked the Big Yellow Taxi thought too. :-)

Enchanted Oak said...

Your 160 sparked gratitude in me!
Here's mine:
Peace or Boredom?

Steven Anthony said...

as always my friend, you amaze....

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I felt like sticking my head out the window like a happy dog on this one.

She Writes said...

I had a freeze out last night because it is just plain cold here at night ;(. Come on summer :)! AC? Who knows if we'll need it up north this year...

Happy Fourth to you and yours :)!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Beautiful! You amaze me.
Hope you are happy and well. Happy 4th to you and your family!!

:)

Warm Coco said...

Ha. MrsUp is funny!
So now we can write in 160 words?
Hmmmmm, just when I was getting comfortable with 55.

Cloudia said...

Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Maggie said...

Awesome!! Very nice! Hope you are having an awesome 4th of July! :D

Tumblewords: said...

Terrific 160! Happy 4th!

Mashuga Mom said...

love the "flowers of light".... great post-

kavisionz said...

Brian, when did you become a mindreader??? I had started off a poem titled 'in-dependance'... talking abt all the sadness while appearing to be free... all fiction ofcourse!
But after this superb poem by you, I might just have to give up on mine!!! :( :)
Thankfully, you have a 160 on this topic... at least I had not planned mine that way :) Mine was supposed to be a regular rhymed up poem.. now lets see if I manage to complete it...
Anyway, I hope the weather's back to being great by now...
Hope you have a lovely July !

Bridgette said...

I hope you had a GREAT 4th! I am sorry I have not commented in a while. I will get better. Thanks again for all your kind words on my blog!

Terresa said...

Love the a/c & the van bit. Can totally relate, although my kids are always saying to turn it colder (it won't *go* colder!).

Happy & safe 4th of July to you!

Matty said...

I've done that a few times. The windows or even the top down, and the air on.

natalee said...

Great one!!!! I hope your 4th was good

Emmanuel Ibok said...

I like the way you described fireworks as flowers that produces light...and this part got to me "freedom is the breeze
that blows through
barely noticed
til gone."

Nicely written.
Cheers!

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Are/Is these really 160? How many times do you have to count to get it right... kind of like counting silver ware? Nice telescoping. -j

Tracy said...

Love the entire poem, but that last phrase is especially memorable. Hope you enjoyed your 4th, Brian!

Syd said...

Hope that the fireworks were good. Hears it was hot up there.

Patience said...

okay, so I loved the '2 C flowers of light
explode N2 bloom,' great visual and I liked the letters/numbers combo, kinda made it more child-like if that was what you were going for. Really good Brian!

Tina said...

Loved that line: freedom is the breeze that blows through unnoticed. Good stuff.

Meeko Fabulous said...

So much said, in so little words. So true about independence. Love how you described fireworks as blooming flowers. :)

AmyLK said...

Great 160! I loved this!

Stafford Ray said...

I reckon you cheated! Wrote a piece 4 U to C Y. K? Ha Ha!

Stafford Ray said...

Thanks for the LOL! The feeling is mutual... love your posts.

Mighty M said...

The last 3 lines are brilliant!