Sunday, June 27, 2010

magpie tales: malice

shck. shck. shk. quick even strokes, bristles held at a forty-five degree angle, three teeth at a time, he slowly works his way around, polishing them to shine. admiring the smile, he unwinds eighteen inches of floss from the spool, twining it around his forefingers. he is old fashioned this way, none of the dentapiks that already have the floss strung between plastic fingers. that is too impersonal.

inserting the floss between two teeth, he moves it up and down, careful not to damage the gums. again he works his way around the mouth, ensuring meticulously that stray food particles and plaque are removed from the recesses.

perfection takes time, and as each minute goes by, another tooth complete, he feels his anticipation building. heart fluttering, he is nearly panting when with a great sigh he carefully removes the floss, discarding it into a disposable bag.

"you really should take better care of your teeth, my dear. the one small cavity is still in your mandibular molar. if only you had kept your appointment to get it fixed, your smile would be perfect."

pushing his thumbs into the soft flesh of her cheeks, he forces her mouth into a wide lopsided smile, before gently kissing her. pushing his tongue passed her thick lips, he traces the now smooth even surface of her teeth. a moan escapes from him as his excitement reaches a crescendo.

this is a new boldness that will ultimately lead them to him, but he anticipates that. honestly he desires it more than anything. removing a fresh new toothbrush from his bag, he places it in the hollow between his victims already cooling breasts; his calling card.

"yes. soon they will no longer call me Tooth Fairy, the moniker that the imbecile reporter gave me, but my given name, Dr. Henry Malice, DDS", he muses, "Or maybe just Dr. Malice."

catching the light switch with his latex covered finger on the way out of the door, he heads home to get some rest, before early appointments with patients. perhaps they will keep their appointments, so he would not have to do this again.

This is Magpie Tale.

Author's Note: This is obviously fiction, except that my dentist, growing up, was named Dr. Malice, which always seemed an ironic name for a dentist. Dentists have to be about the scariest thing in the world. Or maybe that's just me. Make sure you brush those teeth...smiles.

119 comments:

Daniel said...

Message received. I would not like Dr. M showing up at my place.

Madame DeFarge said...

Teeth being brushed right now. Don't want to be visited, even if he looked like Steve Martin (who did play my favourite dentist).

Deidra said...

I know a dentist named Dr. Toothaker. He insists it's pronounced Tooth - ack - er, but I know better.

william said...

lol great p,have known a few butcher dentists in my time lol put hannibal lectre to shame hehe :)ost mate

blueviolet said...

What a creepy perv! I actually do hate going to the dentist. I clench my fists the whole time. That scraping sound is the worst!

Baino said...

Ugh I had a feeling you were going to go dark on this one. Very spooky. I had a dentist called Michael Pain!

RNSANE said...

At the age of sixty, I finally found the most wonderful dentist, Dr. Quach in San Francisco. He and his wife, Dr. Chen are incredible. I told him, at the beginning, that I had a lifetime of hating dentists and avoiding them like the plague. I was so amazed at my experience with him, I wrote a glowing review on Yelp. He acquired several new patients from that and, each time, my next visit was reduced by $25.00.

TALON said...

If I didn't hate the dentist before, I surely do now - lol!

Great tale, Brian. Creepy as all get out, but good :)

Ronda Laveen said...

Hmmm...that's a pretty nifty tooth brush holder you, I mean, Dr. Malice designed.

Kay said...

well, that's one way to get your patients to keep appointments haha

excellent!

Tina said...

Ooh, creepy and original. I don't think I'll look on a toothbrush the same...

jinksy said...

If that's an example of the tooth fairy, I'm glad I'm past the age when I might expect a visit from him!

Sam Liu said...

This was so terrifyingly chilling, Brian! Reading it, your words sent shivers down my spine, the atmosphere and the tension were simply sublime. Plus, I hate, hate, hate the dentist and definitely agree with you; they are some of the world's scariest people. So this had an extra haunting element to it, which was a frightening joy :)

otin said...

I love these Magpie tales that you do. I also love the creepy stories, but then what would you expect from me?? LOL

signed...bkm said...

Reminds me of that creepy movie where Steve Martin was a creepy dentist (I do not like dentists) .....bkm

Steven Anthony said...

OHHHHHHHh great I have a cleaning in the morning...lol

love this one, as always brilliant.

Brian Miller said...

baino, i was already leaning that way and think i may have overdosed on stephen king over vacay...lol.

Tom said...

for now on i'm putting a false address on my dental forms!

Tabor said...

I guess I am too old because all I thought was Eeewww! Keep your stuff out of my stuff!

sheri said...

aauugghh!! you've made me think twice about every skipping an appointment!! brian, this was awesome in a sickening sort of way :) looks like a few days off has truly sharpened your skills...any pics??

Helen said...

Brilliant ~ and chilling at the same time! I wonder if dentists have to pass a course in managing rejection during school. 99 out of 100 people must hate them.

Eva Gallant said...

wow! That was really great! At first I thought he was a perv getting it on with a patient....but he was REALLY a perv! Like I said. You have a gift, Brian. I love reading your posts.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My surgeon who performed my lumpectomy and put in my chemo port - his name is Dr. Grief. He's awesome.

Enchanted Oak said...

Eeeuuuww. This was deliciously malicious. The kiss was really creepy. Good job, Brian.

Maha said...

I love how you add this chilling element to simple stuff. Great Magpie!

Cloudia said...

smiles







Aloha from Waikiki

Comfort Spiral

Jeanne said...

Love the story-an excellent piece of flash fiction!

Luisa Doraz said...

I have only nice stories about my dentist of 20 years. :) Have a fun week. :)

Ocean Girl said...

Creepy. It is really good writing Brian. I mean the words and the storyline and the end message. A great Magpie Tale.

5thsister said...

Oh my! I'll never take my dental hygiene for granted again!

Would you be interested in a real life dental horror story? I vouch for the truth of this as he was our family dentist. Go

HERE

Tattered and Lost said...

Wonderful!

This is only the second time I've read a story where the evil lead is a dentist. The first was in a short story by Cornell Woolrich, the name of the story I've forgotten. I remember making a copy of it for my dentist because he lamented that dentists never showed up in stories. He never said that again.

chiccoreal said...

Dear Brian: First read I didn't catch on, but anyone this obsessed; yah, it's got to be a dentist or Jack Nicholson in The Little Shop of Horrors! It almost sounded sexy! Didn't it? I am not at all like Jack Nicholson in LSOH's! A very studied and enjoyably descriptive mag! Are you a dentist?

Bonnie said...

Whoa ... creepy scary!!!

Anyone who considers stalking you should think twice. Someone who can invent such scary fiction could resort to ... well ... who knows ... all it takes is imagination ... I will certainly mind my Ps and Qs with you Brian.

Whoa ... creepy scary!!!

natalee said...

How ironic..tomorrow i have to get dental work done in the A.m.....LOL!!!!!...On a side note my fathers urologist is named Dr.Seamen (i swear)

Unknown Mami said...

Terrifying for a woman that has many dental issues.

Caty said...

I'll think twice about ever cancelling a dentist appt again!! And I don't think I would go see a Dr Malice :)

PattiKen said...

OK, I'm keeping that appointment I have with my dentist next week. Yup.

Captain Dumbass said...

I think I'm going to go floss once more.

sheila said...

After a bout with a few root canals, I floss about 3 times a day. But Dr. Malice is creepier than my dentist, lol.

Betsy said...

Oh my,...I was NOT expecting this when I started reading. ...making mental not to avoid dentist from now on. ha.

The Bug said...

OK ok - I'll make that appointment to get my cavity taken care of! I've been putting it off for two weeks - honest!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Seriously? Dr. Malice?
I will brush and floss and rinse with hydrogen peroxide!!!!!

Thank you for your supportive comments, Brian. I'm sorry I've been a bad bloggy friend....I hope you understand?

Smiles!!

The Girl from Cherry Blossom Street said...

I once had a dentist with yellow teeth.
The taste of novacaine is awful. And the scraping...makes me want to pull my hair out.

CM said...

At first, I thought he was brushing/flossing his own teeth. Then, the "pushing his thumbs into her soft flesh" made me go back and read it again...SPOOKY, seriously, where DO you come up with this stuff???

Oh wait, I just read your comment about Steven King...that explains it!

The Retired One said...

Yikes, Brian...this one creeped me out for sure...and I was JUST getting okay with going to the dentist without white-knuckling it....(she says sighing and smiling at the same time).
Good thriller...but for goodness sake, don't do one on my gynecologist now okay???

clean and crazy said...

your writing is so gripping.. this was fun!!

ninotaziz said...

What a satisfying quick read. From fastidious fellow to meticulous murderer.

Thank you!

Heartspell said...

Too creeped out to say more... I'll just keep my mouth shut. Heartspell

LadyFi said...

As someone who is TERRIFIED of dentists, this story gave me the shivers. Well done!

Syd said...

Whew--that is a scary tale. I don't think that I will view my dentist quite the same way again.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Jeez, between you and Otin, I'm realllly sleeping with the lights on tonight.
Nice job,
jj

Little Ms Blogger said...

My hubby wanted the question of the week to be Do you like going to the dentist? I told him no because I don't know a soul who does.

Your magpie tale proves my theory.

Dr. Malice was really your dentist's name? That is a bit creepy.

The Empress said...

No! If I were that Dr., the first thing I'd do when I had a spare 300 bucks is CHANGE that name....

Dianne said...

You are all sweetness and light, until we see the full scope of your talent. The reporters are so wrong.

Ha, I won't forget the dark park piece, you should be working in the film industry in Calif.

thanks for following. keep your edge. you need it now.

and camp in the wilderness close to the earth. and let those boys explore, no ghost stories at the campfire from YOU!
Dianne

Tumblewords: said...

I'm pretty sure I've been to his office! Dang. Good piece!

ethelmaepotter! said...

As many other have said, creepy is the word for this one. A very well-written and riveting creepy.

I have a post coming up soon about some of the crazy names I see on the mail. (I work at the post office.) Like Dr. Paine, Dr. Aiken, and Dr. Schott. And, I kid you not, Dr. Bush, the gynecologist.

The Urban Cowboy said...

Wow, Brian...loved this story, very creepy indeed!

Cinner said...

Dentists, I am not a big fan as you know. lol. take care.

Goofball said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah so creepy....I'm gonna brush my teeth now

Eternally Distracted said...

Oh my! My dentist has been calling me for the last two weeks because I missed an appointment... blogging will need to stop for now as I will HAVE to call him back!

Alan Burnett said...

Wonderful start - now write the book. I would buy it without hesitation.

Brigid said...

You fed into all my dentist fears, great piece, atmospheric and clever.

Sam!! said...

Nice story.. :))

Take care

secret agent woman said...

You really need a "Don't read this first thing in the morning" warning. I haven't even had my coffee yet.

slommler said...

Oh how creepy!! I was already nervous about dentists...now I will be downright paranoid!! And my cleaning appointment is just around the corner!! Ha!
Well done Brian
Hugs
SueAnn

Lyn said...

Remember the movie,"Malice", a few years back? Quite apt.
Now I'll never go back..thanks for the chills..
(divorced mine!)

Susan Deborah said...

"perfection takes time" and how long did it take for you for conjure this post. I must tell you something: I have never been to a dentist so I read the piece without any first-hand experience. So much so.

But I agree, brushing teeth does lot of good!

Nice to have you back!

Smiles and joy,
Susan

Mr. Stupid said...

I have hated all my dentists. Dr. Malice sounds like a suspicious name.
Nice post, Brian...:)

Lorraine said...

geesh Brian, why didn't you have the 'dentist malice' dressed as a clown? scary...good boy!

Vicki Lane said...

Sending this link to my dentist right now. Shiver.

Jill said...

ahhh, yes...brush my teeth! I still get nervous/anxious about the dentist...and he is a dear, dear friend! ACK!


Hope you had a nice visit!

Mama Zen said...

Creepy!

steviewren said...

Yikes! I'll never break another appointment! I promise!

G-Man said...

A Dental Tale eh?
You make even toothy stuff seem interesting...My FB Friend!!

THE BEATY said...

wow creepy dentist protrayal

Peter Stone said...

LOL about no longer calling him the Tooth Fairy, I just watched that film with my kids yesterday. Somehow, he was a nicer character than your Dr Malice - he's one dentist I'll avoid me thinks.

SuziCate said...

Creepy and creative! You never disappoint!

ModernMom said...

Off to brush my teeth! I agree, Dentists are sooooo scary!

TechnoBabe said...

Great story, interesting to read a story from the mind of the perp! You kept it interesting.

Jessie said...

freaky!!!

AmyLK said...

I don't think I will ever miss an appointment with the dentist again! Of course, I am not scared of the dentist. Its no big deal to go!

christine said...

Omgosh if my dentist was Mr Malice I wouldn't go to see him!
Christine

drybottomgirl said...

This is just creepy enough to make me a better tooth flosser! I read once where dentists were the most hated Dr.'s and they held the highest suicide rate of Dr.'s. My children have a great dentist but I had a mean orthodontist whom I could see as "Dr. Malice". I enjoy the "magpie tales" as they usually hold mystery and intrigue. Hope you had a better time camping than I did at the cottage!

Pat said...

Yowzer! I just made a dentist appointment the other day! Luckily I like my dentist or I'd be freaking out about now.

This was downright creepy, though. You got a dark side there, Brian. :)

Help! Mama Remote... said...

For a minute there I thought you had my dental files. Strangely I love to floss my teeth.

Just Be Real said...

Do not like DDS. I wait to the absolute end, where I am in such pain or close to being septic. Both which have happened to me. I am bad when it comes to self care. Blessings Brian.

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Okay, now I look at dentists a different way! lol

kathew said...

slightly mental dental...and we already don't like going to the dentist! Good magpie!

Valerie said...

Ooooh that was creepy but good. My dentist was a Dr Pain...

Ed Pilolla said...

haha! i think this is the real life story of my dentist, the imbecile who charged me thousands for something he was incapable of fixing.

i did not see this ending coming at all. nice job.

Everyday Goddess said...

why are dentists kinda creepy?

and named inappropriately? or is it obviously?

Raven said...

That is a brilliant take on the prompt Brian! Dr. Malice, that's funny!!

willow said...

Yee Gads!! This had a creepola Red Dragon feel to it. Shivers!!

Catalyst said...

Lovely story, Brian. You haven't lost your touch!

Emmanuel Ibok said...

Interesting Magpie. I love the different swing this magpie tales went this week. I read quite a few and this just made the final call...Nice one Brian...Stay cool...cheers!

Tracy said...

Sick and wrong, Brian. Sick and wrong. :-)

JeffScape said...

Hehe. Good stuff. The setup and payoff is wonderful. Third-to-last and second-to-last paragraphs have some issues, but overall... this is where your mind should live!

Okay, figuratively should live... not literally, of course.

Mmm said...

omgoodness, what an interpretation. Trust you, Brian, to be creative hre again.

rel said...

Brian,
dentistry in the twilight zone.
Rod serling would love this.
rel

Pauline said...

jeez - just when you think it's safe to go back to the dentist...

you have a marvelous pacing to all your writing

Linda said...

Totally creepy! Still, nice writing. Oh, and just for the record, my dentist is terrific, and my hygienist is absolutely the best.

Marla said...

That's just great. I won't be sleeping tonight. You scare the plaque out of me sometimes, Brian.

island of peace said...

i will- promise :)
good one.

Joan Tucker said...

I am dutifully warned.

Jennifer said...

Totally sucked me in. Great writing and great concept.

Gabriela Abalo said...

Brilliant!!

Fragrant Liar said...

Yikes! I swear I'm going to make my appointment! I swear it!

kkrige said...

I have to say that I actually like my dentist. He was a customer of mine at the body shop and he always brought in muffins (he had a bad spell of luck one year). Gotta like a dentist toting food :) Yours on the other hand, is one I would make a point of keeping an appt with. EEEeee!

soundoffreedom said...

note to self...this is why i've always been afraid of a dentist! well done..!

Teri said...

Brian---Do you read all these comments? All 109 of them??? Wow! Anyway, I will be 110 and reading this about "Dr. Malice" makes me think of my friend, who is a hygenist, who works for Dr. Muff! Beat that! Funny, eh?

Patience said...

Dr. Malice is an awesome name! when I was a kid my family doc's last name was Pain. You'd think he might change his name or something, but he prob. thought it was funny. Loved your magpie as always, you've got a nice collection of short horror. Have you heard of www.ralan.com? It has a list of some great sites that pay for flash horror.

Nessa said...

When I was little we went to army dentists and they drilled without Novocaine. I have ISSUES with dentists. I always think of the movie Running Man with Dustin Hoffman. I'm shivering in fear just thinking about it.

Your story was equally scary.

The Empress said...

My husband said your a brave man, stopping over at Lady bloggers. I told him you're just that kind of a nice guy...thank you.

How you do it, with over 100 comments...I mean, even Pioneer Woman can't do what you do.

Mighty M said...

Cue the scary music....I think you are on to the next great Halloween horror flick!

Hilary said...

As if dentists are not scary enough. Yours sure had an apropos name.

Leeuna said...

Okay, so you scared me with this one. Great writing...and creepy. Creepy in a good way though. I'm flossing as we speak. :)

jake said...

Scary, dude. Really creepy, but the attention you paid to detail is incredible.

Birdie said...

and I have an appointment for a cavity next week, I will be freaking out in the dentist office ... why did I read this one ... lol

She Writes said...

This ROCKED!!! OH my GOSH! :) The dark side of you should write much more often.