Friday, June 18, 2010

in all seriousness

i got your email, last night,
where you professed your love
and the things you want to do
to & with me.

it went in the file
with all the others
in which you describe
how you copulate with your husband,
envisioning me.

maybe you think
these are funny or cute,
but they disgust me.

i have said it before
(in both comments & email)
and i will say it again
i will protect & defend
my family...

so stop.


they are unwanted,
you are unwanted.

leave me alone.


the thing about technology
in the hands of the right authority
they can track you down
and come knocking on your door
perhaps during dinner
with your kids & hubby.

(who's that mommy?)

you know who you are,
and now we do too.

funny, i finally wrote a poem about you,
happy?

This is all too real. I really wish it was fiction or something I was making up. I get quite a few emails, and I welcome them usually. For the last several months, this blogger (to remain nameless) has crossed a line, morally and ethically.

If someone ever starts sending you unsolicited emails that you are uncomfortable with, I encourage you to keep both hard and soft copies. If they do not respect your wishes to cease, the authorities have at least proven willing to listen.

Urban Cowboy did a great piece on this very thing, here.

107 comments:

Baino said...

OH wow. I think I might have an idea of the culprit but didn't think the would go THAT far. Terrible. Stalking of any kind is scary but when sexual innuendo or explicit filth is added to the mix it's just damn creepy. Let's hope they've got the message.

Meeko Fabulous said...

That sounds terrifying! Yes, keep back up documentation. You may even want to file a police report, just so there's a log of it somewhere, you know?

Meeko Fabulous said...

And may I add that you are one classy gentleman for not putting her on blast here.

TechnoBabe said...

I don't have any idea who this would be but it is such a shame that someone as good as you are would have to be bothered by someone who is sick and harassing you. You are a strong man and protecting your family is number one. I had a couple uncomfortable that tried to get me to go to a different place and I just deleted them and thank goodness they did not continue.

buttercup600 said...

Just want to congratulate you on the award:) Well done.

Tracy said...

*shudder* Sorry to hear about this, Brian. That is a scary thing to have happen. Maybe, probably, unavoidable but not at all cool.

Bonnie said...

Gutsy and courageous Brian. Such a violation of boundaries!! So disconcerting for you.

You have a wonderful 'tool', your poetry, that can be used for expression, release and exposure. Good for you for using it.

Whoever you are, cease and desist and get a life!

nohaemile said...

Brian.. how hard must this be on you?!
I can feel your steam and anger.. I hope everything is better now and this blogger stopped sending you emails.
Please be well. God bless you and your sweet family.

Me said...

Wow, Brian! I was going to say that I can't believe it, but sadly enough, I can. That's just creepy, and I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this.

Strangely enough, the 55 I wrote was sort of about this kind of thing...I started to think about how people can become sucked up in thinking they "know" someone just based on their blog...and imagined up someone who created a relationship that didn't exist based on that premise...weird timing, there.

Anyway...I hope that you find your way clear of this. Very wrong for someone to take something so distasteful so far.

-C

Daniel said...

Yikes dude. I have not had any stalkers. I do get asian porn sites leaving comments. I am really bothered by this because I know my daughter visits my site from time to time to show her friends. All I can do is check my comments regularly and quickly delete those that appear. It's a hard core world out there for all of us.

Felicitas said...

Soooo not cool! But hopefully your message is a wake up call for her.

Sam Liu said...

I thought this was fiction (and excellent fiction) as I was reading it, Brian, and then I read your comments at the end and I was really quite taken aback...I cannot believe that somebody, a blogger, would do something so terrible. I imagine it to be rather upsetting, I hope it ends soon and things turn out all right for you.

5thsister said...

I cannot even imagine. I hope your post puts and end to the stalking and filth.

natalee said...

Wow,, Brian Im scared for you...What a damn psycho....your poor wife..my husband would blow a damn fuse... i hope your 55 puts an end to the craziness for you...

Cheryl said...

This is absolutely horrifying. I know this occurs but it's easy to believe it'll never happen to me. Or those I've come to respect and admire.

I hope this has ended.

moondustwriter said...

Thanks for posting this Bri!!!
I think alot of people need a reality check

you are a great guy who needs to be treated with respect as does your wonderful family

Bossy Betty said...

Yikes!!!!

Matty said...

You once said that only 10% of what you write is fiction, and I thought for sure this was one of them. Very unusual that a woman is doing this. Good for you the way you are handling it.

Lorenzo said...

Bravo, Brian. Sorry you have had to go through this. Just so you know, by dealing with this so directly, forcefully and unequivocally you are not just protecting and defending your family, you are giving a good example of how to protect that which most of us find so wonderful about the blog community.

secret agent woman said...

Damn, you caught me!

No, seriously, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. Stalkers are so creepy.

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Brian:)

Technology has been a blessing but it has also created so many problems. Sometimes people get a devious pleasure in writing such emails.This clearly shows how perverted their minds are.

You have dealt with this problem well and I hope your stalker will leave you alone.

Best wishes Brian:)
Joseph

Syd said...

This is some serious shit. The Internet is the wild west in many ways. I am sorry that a sicko is targeting you.

Maggie said...

Wow, that is scary Brian. You definitely have to protect your family. It is hard to believe people do these kinds of things, but actually nowadays people do a lot of scary things! I hope this person stops and leaves you alone because you are a great man with a great family!!

Anonymous said...

Very sad Brian sorry to hear about this. Sigh. Must be stressful hopefully this letter will help. It really is a mix of wonder and not so wondrous. I hope this gets cleared up soon! Must be stressful for your family.

Starla

She Writes said...

Brian,

You know I get this to some degree. It is very disturbing and more so that the people who do this really don't get how disturbing it feels to be sought by someone you do NOT want. I hope this all goes away and that your request to be left alone will be granted. It is the only respectful posture someone who claims to want you could take.

Well done!

Dianne said...

keep strong, Brian. Stalkers take many forms. I've been a victim. It took a lawyer. That's when I found out he'd done it before. Don't rely on common sense or fairness. You are a kind person, with LOTS of followers because you are so.
Maybe your millions of fans could spam that person off the net.

AmyLK said...

This is scary! I hope she stops immediately.

Unknown Mami said...

I am so sorry this is happening. I hope it stops immediately.

Eva Gallant said...

Oh wow. That is disturbing. Stay safe, my friend!

The Retired One said...

How awful, Brian..you have a psycho stalker!
You did the right thing by exposing how disgusting they are and how it is NOT alright with you for them to invade your space that way. Good for you! I hope they quit soliciting you and harassing you.
Stay safe but don't let it stop you from writing from your soul.

C.M. Jackson said...

brian--very disturbing and undeserved. I hope the person doing this understands the consequences of continuing and gets the message. You have done the right thing--peace to you and your family

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Nothing surprises me much anymore. How awful for you to be stalked and how sad for this person to be so desperate for attention. I hope that this ends this. I hope she seeks the help she needs. You would think that she would know how important your family is to you ..... anyone who reads you can see that. You are a very decent man not to "out" her.

Betsy said...

So sorry this has happened! Good for you for calling them out. Hopefully it will stop now!

waiseekweng said...

After reading it, I do understand how you feel. Is really frustrating if it is me. Hope you solve the problem already!!! good luck!

willow said...

There are times when exposure is the only way to go. Hope this does the trick. Sorry to hear your blogging experience has had some negative turns. I can certainly relate.

Ronda Laveen said...

What? Whoa! This is like out of a movie...a bad, freaky one. Set a brick wall around your energy field (your aura) to send hers back to her. There is also a spiritual/energetic attack going on her too. Sending you Light and help.

TALON said...

I'm sorry you have to go through this, Brian. I hope the person gets the message and stops immediately. It's beyond creepy.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Yikes! When I first started reading I was going to make some smart mouth comment like, "OK, OK, I'll stop." But reading further, I realize that this is all too serious. We've had to deal with a stalker in my family and it IS VERY serious stuff. Good for you for taking appropriate measures.
Hugs,
SMB

rxBambi said...

what amazes me is that she would do all that while reading the poetry about how much you love your family.

hugs for you (totally platonic ones...)

Mona said...

I am not Judgemental , But I can really relate to this as far as the person who suffers this kind of hounding is concerned!

{{{{{SHUDDER}}}}}} !!!!

Brian Miller said...

thanks for all the positive support everyone...this one was a hard one to write...i tried being nice...but i am not going anywhere...and sometimes you have to draw the line in the sand...

The Silver Fox said...

I hope your post gives this person a much-needed wake-up call. Good luck in dealing with this.

Angie Muresan said...

That is creepy! I suppose there are all sorts of people out there, and not all of them have the best intentions. Best wishes that this matter is resolved.

Magpie said...

What a sad and scary situation to find yourself and your family in. I applaud your method of dealing with the problem and hopefully this person has gotten the message and will crawl back under their rock.

Respectfully Yours said...

Absolutely crazy...people have gone mad! I would have swore this was one of your fictional stories. Hope all works out for you...good luck.

slommler said...

I am really sorry that you have a stalker in your life. That is awful! I hope the authorities can put an end to this and soon!!
Good luck
Hugs
SueAnn

drybottomgirl said...

You make such a valid point. I think we forget how big cyberspace is. We feel we are in a small comfortable place but it's not always a safe place. When I first came to AA I was in a very fragile state, and knew nothing about "13th. stepping" and there were guys that hit on me - I'm married for goodness sake. An old timer took me aside one night and said "be careful not everyone here has your best interest in mind" this was right around the time I hooked up with my sponsor and she made it perfectly clear to the men at the club that I was married and "hands off". It still surprises me that people feel no remorse when they cross those lines. I admire your integrity and I think one of the most awesome things about you is your incredible love for your wife and kids. Speak your mind, there's nothing wrong about standing behind your beliefs....

gayle said...

Hopefully this will but an end to your problem!! I was thinking the other day that we really don't know what is true and what is not on blogs and when people don't post pictures we really don't know if they are male or female. But then sometimes I think maybe posting pictures and names like I do isn't the right thing to do either.

Ed Pilolla said...

this would be entertaining if it wasn't real. shining a light on this was way to go.

Ocean Girl said...

She is one of us blogger? It must be scary for you. It is also ruining the nice comfortable feeling we share in this blog world.

Caty said...

How awful for you and your family. I'm sorry, Brian. I hope the authorities can help you put a stop to it! Some people live such fantasies and reality eludes them-scary to be the victim of that.

AngelMay said...

Stalking is horrid. You did the right thing, Brian. As someone else here said, we forget just how big the internet is - and how many nuts are out there. I know we all want good people following us (not stalking us). Sorry this has happened to you. Hang in there. You have real friends out here.

Eternally Distracted said...

Oh, it sounds awful. You are doing the right thing by outing this person and the things that they are doing... I truly hope they stop before you have to take it further but I am glad you have the evidence to do so should you need to.

Fingers crossed the message has been recieved.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Jees-sus! That's terrible. I hope this puts and end to it once and for all.
Grrrr
jj

Kathleen said...

Oh my goodness, Brian! That's so creepy! Sorry to hear you've been bothered by such weirdness. Hope it doesn't take a toll of your amazing posts!

Captain Dumbass said...

Yikes, and I thought all the links to Chinese porn I got were annoying. Glad to hear you could get some legal help.

Goofball said...

Hi Brian

I really really hope this stops for you. It's so creepy and frustrating to go through such a thing. As I said to you , it surely takes the fun away of being online. I hope she won't manage to do that to you.

I cross my fingers that the authorities can help you in stopping this asap. Good luck with that!

Birdie said...

Brian I'm so sorry to hear about that!! I barely started my blog and I have got a very creepy comment, so I started to monitor them and I do not publish my email ... you don't know who is on the other side of the screen, it could also be a man making fun of you ... I hope that who ever that is will stop. You write so beautifully and make so many people happy to read your post, it's disgusting that some people don't know when to stop! have a lovely weekend

Cinner said...

Brian, I am so very glad that you wrote about this, I hope this stops now. sometimes I just have to shake my head, I hope you and your family have no more trouble. Very eerie feeling.

Selina Kingston said...

Gosh this is terrible. There are some seriously disturbed people out there though who can't draw that line between reality and fanatasy. She has clearly seen that you are obviously a warm, intelligent, creative guy and she wants what your wife has and what she clearly doesn't have. Hope this is an end of it ....

william said...

its not cool, scary in fact, please stop whomever you are and realize this isnt the way , happy weekend mate.

Valerie said...

Obviously someone with a sick mind. Good for you exposing her. Have you tried filtering her out?

Lorraine said...

Yiiiikes, that happens too often, and it's a darn shame because so many bloggers have left, because of such invasion, and I'm glad you're addressing this issue front and centre. You are such an amazing writer, so PERSON who is pushing pass decency GO AWAY, blogger world can not afford to lose such a caring individual and writer as Brian.

LadyFi said...

Oh gosh - how very disturbing for you and your family. So glad the police are willing to listen. Hope this cyberstalker stops - and NOW!

Luke Prater said...

Good stuff, Brian. You write well. Hey thanks for stopping by, I gave had a lot on my plate of late, stress and stuff at home, so sadly the blog's been a bit neglected. New poems up today or tomorrow I hope.

Cheers mate

Luke

Zuzana said...

Oh, sorry to hear that. That can not be fun at all and is obviously effecting you as you even write about it here.
I hope it solve itself out and that you can enjoy this weekend.
I am at work today, feel s a bit off, but half day is almost gone.;))
xoxo

Madame DeFarge said...

Your self-restraint is admirable, but it's unfortunate that you have to exercise it. Some people just cannot understand boundaries or reality.

notesfromnadir said...

That's the problem with the online world...people can write things that they wouldn't tell you to our face. Good advice about contacting the authorities if it gets out of hand.

only a movie said...

Glad to see that you are able to hand this sanely and evenly... but still. Must be unnerving.

So sorry you are going through this, Brian.

Lori said...

Anyone that reads your writings has to know where your heart is and how much you adore your wife and kids. Very sad that this person couldn't listen to you the first time. I hope this person gets the message now and that they get some help for why they would stalk someone that is married and when they are married themself.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend! XX :)

Steven Anthony said...

This sounds creepy...I am sending good thoughts your way to you and your family.

chin up.

Susan Deborah said...

Woof. This was one of a kind. I know all this happens but so close. And through all that, you have been a nice person, not maligning her or anything.

Joy always,
Susan

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

That's horrible, Brian! Stalkers of any kind are scary - cyber or otherwise. Here's hoping she finally gets the message and leaves you alone!

Fragrant Liar said...

Oh, man. That's disgusting.

Whoever you are, quit dogging this guy and get a life!

Fragrant Liar said...

P.S. If she doesn't stop, I'd threaten to reveal her. Oh yeah, I would!

buffalodick said...

Privacy is an old myth...

Everyday Goddess said...

that is horrible! i'm outraged for you. sounds like you are handling a very bad situation with great skill. good job!

Pat said...

I, too, thought this was just fiction till I read your note. Yowzer!

And you, ever the gentleman.

Hope this was a wake-up call for the stalker! If not, spew her name for everyone to see, and her followers will drop like hotcakes!

Vicki Lane said...

Yuck -- people can be so weird -- and the Internet allows the sickos to really put it all out there.

Tina said...

I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you. This person obviously DOESN'T "know" you, because your faith and your absolute integrity shine through loud and clear in your writing. I think this post was a great way to get the message to her. I hope it works.

Dorraine said...

My heart goes out to you and your family, Brian. I can only imagine the stress this creates, not to mention the creep factor.

Take good care...

Jannie Funster said...

Geez. Some people, eh?

Hope for an end to this for you, Brian.

xo

PattiKen said...

Yikes! I'm sure there are plenty of cyber-stalkers out there, but I sort of assumed that here in our little corner of cyberspace, peopled by writers, poets, and photographers, it wouldn't happen. Naive of me, I guess.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Hopefully your post will put a stop to it.

You know, this kind of reminds me of that transference thing that happens with doctors. Your writing is so accessible. It sounds like your stalker accessed it too literally.

devoidcreation said...

Wow, it just goes to show that there are some real strange people out there.

JeffScape said...

Er... I think I just came across a confession at another blog...

Lisa said...

Wow--what a completely horrible infection on your beautiful blog--I am so sorry you have to deal with it. But a big "Good for you!" for standing with your family and not flirting with danger.

JBR said...

Oooo weee Brian sorry for this to happen. Thanks for sharing though. Blessings to you dear one.

Raven said...

Wow! That's insane. Good thinking to keep documentation. I hope your stalker leaves you alone soon.

Viola said...

I was just stopping in as I do from time to time when I have some free time to do so. Boy am I shocked to read about someone stalking you. That is terrible Brian, and I am so sorry that you had to go through that. You are a nice man and a wonderful husband and father, you don't deserve to be treated like this. Anyways I do pray whoever is doing it will stop before getting into trouble. You are so kind not to reveal the name, that say a lot about you Brian. Happy Father's Day to you.

lakeviewer said...

Stalking and harrassment are criminal offenses. Sue the pants off of them. Any lawyer will draft a cease and desist letter with their letterhead, for little more than consultation fee. If they do not stop, take them to small claims court.

Would you believe I had to take a parent to court for harrassing a teacher? The judge issued a restraining order and a fee. Yeah!

blueviolet said...

I hope this puts a stop to it for good. I'm sorry you've been dealing with it. (I still think you should take off your anonymous though.)

Drahdrah said...

I hope this situation is resolved for you Brian. I'm glad to know that there is recourse for the innocent victims of online stalkers !

Marla said...

Brian ~ You are such a wonderful example of what a husband and father should be. God bless you for honoring your wife, protecting your family and speaking truth to this woman. A life of integrity is always worth living.

Katherine said...

This is terrible Brian! Is there no way that you can delete or block her from your e-mail & blog! And report her to the facilitators of Blogger? This kind of unsolicited interaction would scare the bejeebers out of me!

Katherine said...

I was playing scrabble on line this morning & had some weirdo opponent asking me did I want to fool around & talk dirty with him whilst we played... of course I ceased the game immediately. It is just so sickening because I have a niece whom likes to play scrabble on line & it terrifies me that she could strike some sicko like that too... so I told her mother about it, so that she is aware!!! It makes me furious!

Nessa said...

Very scary. For the most part, I have found the online community respectable and respectful, but there are some people who believe this medium allows them certain liberties. I hope you receive peace.

ds said...

Ewww. Creepy. You have done the right thing, both in exposing what's been going on, and in saving words that must disgust you. Perhaps it is time to invoke the authorities. As someone else wrote, the stalkers rarely do recognize themselves. Good luck.

The Urban Cowboy said...

Well written Brian, here's to hoping you're message was received...and the 'coffee' is burning her nostrils.

Thanks for the shout out!

Menina said...

Oh wow! How intrusive of that blogger!

It's one thing to appreciate work, but to worm their way into your personal/non blogger life is just too much.

I hope it gets sorted, Brian.

Ms. Gibson said...

Oh shit. That is nasty, Brian. Pardon my French.
While the Internet is beautiful (we get to blog), it's also ugly. Very ugly.
And very scary.
Keep records of everything.

California Girl said...

I seldom reads the comments on other people's posts unless I have a question about something and seek to find the answer.

I guess when you have as many followers as you do there's bound to be a crazy. I'll read Urban Cowboy's post on this. I'm assuming you've reported to the authorities of some sort? Can't you block this person as well or do they keep changing their identity?

Mighty M said...

Hope all the notes and emails have stopped -that is just all kinds of wrong.

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

My dearest Brian,
I just got the time to read this post, a mutual friend sent me the link...
oh dear..I do hope it will end.
I cannot imagine but yet again,
I know the feeling..

You are so GREAT in writing this post... I am so sorry it has to happen to you and your family.

Jasmine is undergoing a new treatment...I am off blogging for awhile..but I am still reading and commenting whenever I do find the time.

Blessed be, my friend.

hugs
shakira

island of peace said...

I faced a lot of problem on my windows live blogs.

Anonymous said...

unbelievable , too bold from this person .I appreciate your determination to protect your family from temptation.God bless you Brian.wordwand

Hilary said...

Ack.. now that's disturbing. I feel for you and your family. Be safe, Brian.

Grand Pooba said...

W.O.W.

You weren't kidding!