Thursday, June 10, 2010

55 - across the asphalt

across the asphalt
i watch them,
(unsure why,
other than a feeling
in the pit of my stomach
when his mom called)
and when i see the man
kiss the 10 year old boy
full on the mouth
i know,
knuckles cracking,
as sirens wail
in the distance
racing to beat me
across the asphalt.



Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

105 comments:

Just Be Real said...

Wo---- a very powerful statement here Brian.

Ms. Gibson said...

Ok. That's it. Now I absolutely MUST try my hand at the 55-word thing.
You make it look so easy, Brian.
This one is very emotional and raw.
Thanks.

Bonnie said...

I don't know how you do it. The poetry and the social interventions.

Titanium said...

Fierce. I swear the hair on the back of my neck is standing on end.

Eva Gallant said...

You say so much with so little!

Daniel said...

I'm with you in that race across the pavement.

Monkey Man said...

Grrrr. This is a heavy topic for any post, let alone a 55. Nicely done. My 55 will be HERE shortly. *sigh* (Yes, I will post on thursday)

Magpie said...

Such intensity concentrated down into so few words...very powerful. Brian, how do you keep your sanity?

5thsister said...

your power with words never cease to amaze me.

Pat said...

Yuck! Now I have to shower! Thanks for that imagery!

Your 55 is THAT GOOD!

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

You sure do write powerful stuff! Good for you to put it all out in the open and make people think.

blueviolet said...

Oh that makes me ill.

G-Man said...

Brian...Very Sickening!
But I used to work in a Jeuvy Prison so I know that this goes on every day.
Powerful 55 My Friend.
Thanks for playing, thanks for visiting, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

THE BEATY said...

wow powerful 55

Betsy said...

I almost hope you beat the sirens!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Woah, this post didn't sit well with me. I know most of your posts come from experiences in real life. Care to share any more info on this one?

Stan Ski said...

Tricky subject, tactfully presented. Great 55.

Caty said...

Our poor kids these days so dependent and trusting of this breed of selfish adults we have now.

Fragrant Liar said...

OMG. The image you gave me was striking and vivid and stopped my heart.

I hope you let him have it.

TALON said...

This chilled me to the bone, Brian.

AngelMay said...

Another good one, Brian. When I get home from my travels - and get rested - I must try my hand at this... perhaps. I like the punch you gave it.

Prayer Girl said...

Your 55 opened a huge pit in my stomach.

PG

The Retired One said...

How sickening, Brian...I too, wish you beat the sirens and save that dear boy...
I know this goes on...it is just heartwrenching to hear about it...and your graphic writing makes it so so real.

sheri... said...

wow. WOW!! the 'defender of innocence' gets my vote...sure hope you've got your running shoes on because chances are i might beat you to the guy! you sure have revealed your heart in this 55, brian, and i applaud you for having the guts to post it...

Jingle said...

This 55 is a trail blazer!
Thank you for the marvel!

Cindy said...

Brutal Brian, strong poem.

clean and crazy said...

it is too sad and too true. i had a friend in school who's own father was molesting her. i was the only one she told. i told my mother. he went to jail.

i watch my beautiful babies like a hawk. they don't leave my side. i pray they never lose their innocence or find out that monsters are real

Joanna Jenkins said...

That 55 gave me goosebumps-- creepy, OMG ones.
Nice 55 Brian.
jj

Janna said...

Disturbing and powerful.
Very deep and shocking... the exact opposite of the meaningless drivel I usually post. :)

Thanks for another Friday 55.
You always do such a good job.
My own is posted HERE.

JeffScape said...

Your brutal stuff is among your best. 'Nuff said.

moondustwriter said...

ok that's too real

perfect Bri

I'm up

moondustwriter said...

ok that's too real

perfect Bri

I'm up

Baino said...

Pretty powerful but my you have an obession with paedophilia!

C.M. Jackson said...

you create images with your words that most would not want to see and with that give hope to those who are lost waiting to be found--salut chin chin to you! you are their voice! hugs and thanks-c

Ronda Laveen said...

I don't like those creepy guys! Sometimes you just happen to pick up on the weird vibes people are putting out.

Emmanuel Ibok said...

You just kept me in a place where I had to finish the story by myself in my mind...Nice work as always B...Cheers!!!

anthonynorth said...

Heavy, powerful and bravely done.

Alan Burnett said...

Rarely was so much said in so few words.

Jana said...

Your writing reflects the intensity of your feelings and I am forced to catch my breath every time. My 55 is up now…

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

Powerful, once again. Best punch in the gut I've had all day.

RNSANE said...

This brought back so many memories of my 21 years as a forensic nurse in the realm of child sexual abuse...to put so much into 55 words...amazing.

RNSANE said...

This brought back so many memories of my 21 years as a forensic nurse in the realm of child sexual abuse...to put so much into 55 words...amazing.

william said...

as always there is a subtle hint of perfection in your work, loved this :)

Lorraine said...

cold shivers...man can you write

slommler said...

OMG! This is so scary! So well written Brian!
I also wanted to thank you for all of your encouragement and support over at my blog and my art work.
I look forward to your visits and comments!
Hugs
SueAnn

Zuzana said...

Anger, disgust, sadness; they all come across so strongly in these few words... As always, you convey them with such an eloquence.
I hope your Friday is lovely despite these heavy sentences,
xoxo

Mr. Stupid said...

You do say a lot in so little. This was creepy, Brian. Awesome post as always...:)

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

This is quite powerful and very much what the media has for us to 'entertain' us these days. Sad, but all way too true.

My 55 is Here As always scroll down below my Friday Show N Tell. Have a great weekend!!!

JStar said...

The harsh realities of this world beautifully displayed in such little words...Love it, as always Brian! I need to write some 55's again...I just always have so much to say and have a hard time limiting them to 55 words :)

Birdie said...

and I was hoping for some romance today Brian :-) ... very powerful anyway; the other day a guy in the mall was staring at my son, then smiling at him, way too much to my taste, it was weird and I couldn't help it but to give him the look saying 'f... of my son' the mother bear look, you know... but maybe he was just a grandfather missing his grandson and my boy did remind him ... but how can one know?

Vodka Mom said...

that was incredible.


as usual

Vicki Lane said...

Everyone else has said it -- powerful and beautifully done!

Valerie said...

Creepy and sadly so real in this day and age.

JStar said...

Well I participated this week anyways..

My 55 is here http://msjstar1275.blogspot.com/

Nessa said...

You write so well but sometimes you bring up things...

Brian Miller said...

i figure i can write it or keep it in...


baino, i think if you look at the overarching themes through out, which being one of my longest time supporters should be easy for you, you will find....family, love, homeless, children...unfortunately each of those is haunted by its own monsters...i guess i try to drag the monsters into the light, and speak for those that in many ways have lost their voice..

and birdie, i will bring some romance with me tomorrow...smiles.

Maha said...

Couple of days ago, i started working as a nursery teacher in order to have something to do in the summer. Then, I came closer to kids and, their purity astounded me. Now, sexual abuse, repels me even more. your poem was powerful brian that it triggered those feelings of disgust within my heart.

Dot-Com said...

That's a lot said in just 55 words. I'll have to check out more of those!

Eaton Bennett said...

That kind of behavior is, I'm sure, something every parent and moral thinking person must abhor and be very angry about. You write that vignette succinctly and with avenging passion. I'm glad I read yours too, thanks Brian. :))

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Wow!

TechnoBabe said...

You know this is a subject that gets to me. Children are at the mercy of all the perverts and I so pray for all adults to be on alert for every child, not just their own, because some parents are being vigilant.

Six Feet Under Blog said...

Way to sum it up in 55 words.

Mona said...

This sounds like an action movie. Too much action packed in one moment. & suspense too. I like the brevity of expression, which is your forte. So much concentration in such few words. Amazing!

Eric Alder said...

Intense 55, Brian!

Lulda Casadaga said...

We tend to put blinders on related to this subject. Powerful 55...

drybottomgirl said...

Almost three years ago my son's best friend's brother committed suicide. My son's friend had called and told him while I was out for a walk. My son was acting very strange when I came home but told me he was just tired. When I found out what had happened the next day I asked him why he didn't say anything and he said it was because he wanted to respect the family and wasn't sure if they wanted everyone to know yet. It's amazing how the bond between children is so sacred. You nailed the right emotions in this 55, I had a knot in my stomach as I was reading it. Have a great weekend!

Vodka Logic said...

I hope you made it there on time.. lots of emotion in so few words...


Working on mine.. late as usual

showme said...

this one stopped my breath for a moment..with that sinking familiar feeling! Brilliantly written!

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my goodness. I hate that man.

tony said...

Strong & Powerful.Well Written Brian.

Alice Audrey said...

I knew something like this was going to happen. Now to see who wins the race.

AmyLK said...

Very powerful story. A scary situation.

Jessie said...

powerful...

p.s. thank you for your comment, i always enjoy your feedback.

buffalodick said...

God, some things bother me- and that was one of them..

caroompas said...

Excellent tale telling, Brian, and in such a tight format. Powerful, disturbing, clarity to a painful degree.

John's comments said...

Get the Gun, Mary-Sue its a time for visiting...Hammer Horror for me today. My 55

Akelamalu said...

Oh Brian my stomach was churning as I read that. :(

Kay said...

WTF? (sorry) ... but I hope you got/get there first! ugh

Mama Zen said...

This gave me chills.

She Writes said...

Ohhhhhh..... Uhhhhh.......... Ugh. You got me in 55. Shot straight at my heart and hit. Ugh.

Heartspell said...

Your heart must have so many cracks in it... Mine just got another one reading this. Well done...I think. Heartspell

Cinner said...

Brian, wow, it is amazing what you can say in 55 words. yes it tugged at my heart....very powerful.

island of peace said...

how can people do it?

very thoughtful poem.

Cheryl said...

How you managed to tell that story in 55 is beyond me. Awesome and timely and scary.

Tom said...

very cryptic, these 55 word things. but i think i got it..ew.

ModernMom said...

Ummm How are you not writing for a TV show? You always catch me off guard!

marie said...

I read it twice thinking, is this about a child drowning (full mouth kiss being CPR) or a pedophile? Everyone's comments answered my question. Very sad. Thanks for always commenting on mine. Hope you have a great weekend!
Marie

Anonymous said...

Nice blog, lovely thoughts check this site out too for poems and stories :)
http://shahlarveek.blogspot.com/

Sam Liu said...

A poignant and haunting image indeed, surely the embodiment of a parent's worse nightmare. This is a very powerful 55 indeed, Brian.

Mighty M said...

Ugh.

Okie said...

haunting

lakeviewer said...

You do have to pay attention to these details, don't you? How sad to know that this boy has to carry this burden for the rest of his life.
I bet the man denied and denied, minimized any harm he was imparting.
God bless us all.

mairmusic said...

The language matches the story-- terse, tense. A great poem. Can't believe you were counting words...
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

Tamarind~ said...

I completely agree with Bonnie. I wonder ~ how you deal with poetry and the social interventions!

˙·٠•●❤Sh@KiR@ ❤●•٠·˙ said...

Oh man...I was racing with you...
LOVE IT!
well done, Brian..
hugs
shakira

Pravin Nair said...

Thats was powerful, Mr Miller..

Its very difficult to write on such a topic, but I see the vent it is providing for your rage against it..

Terrific writing, nicely dealt with..

Adam said...

Great 55... important social commentary.

Katherine said...

Brian this is very distressing to even read! Anger bubbles within at the thought of what you've written. There are some very ugly, disturbed people in this world. It is sickening! But this was a very well written 55 as usual!

Marla said...

I feel it in my gut.

Tina said...

Creepy, but great. Tightly written, but tells the story. Good stuff!

PattiKen said...

Wow. You raised every hair on my neck, and in 55 words. Yikes.

Goofball said...

I needed all the comments to understand this one

Syd said...

I don't know what to think on this one, other than if this guy is a pedophile then he needs cracking.

thewritingant said...

Scary! So fierce! Very emotional and raw, this is brilliant.

The VM said...

This poem is thought provoking in today's society! Thanks.