pale & bloated,
he lay,
a great, dead walrus,
in the front yard,
little hearts boxers
cutting into his abundance.
it was always me, me, me...
she said, he said,
police bagging her
cast iron skillet.
none questioned how
her response
was less selfish,
except their son,
laying in the impression
left in the uncut grass.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try ot just read more, go see g-man.
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107 comments:
There is more to this story Brian!! What on earth did the man do to get her cast iron skillet wrapped around his head?
Great 55 Brian
Happy Friday!
This is very intriguing. Maybe others posts will piece things together. Hopefully this is fiction.
Wow. How to clobber a walrus and the reader in 55 words. Little gem of a story leaves quite an impression; I feel like the kid laying in the silhouette of uncut grass.
Moral of the story: mow the lawn and keep the cast iron skillet under lock and key (with the little hearts boxer shorts). ;)
He must have been a bad, bad man. Reminds me of a Dixie Chicks song about a guy named Earl. My 55 will be HERE after midnight Pacific Time. (Back to my old routine.)
but there are 2 sides to every story...we'll never know his.
There is a little mystery to this one...
Yep, a frying pan works every time. I'm also partial to holding a huge kettle of boiling water over the offenders head.
I sense that there are much deeper meanings to this story, it is very enticing. Wonderfully written, as always :)
Love a good mystery:) well done
It was hard for me to understand at first but the last paragraph just brought everything together and it became too clear I tried to avoid it.
Wow!
I told you the cast iron skillet is a girls best friend!
I am speechless. Part deux soon?
The plot thickens....now you got me hooked on the mystery.
Most of all, why is he wearing HEARTS on his undies???? hahaaa
I want the prequel! Also, this is rockin' good. Left more questions than cast iron skillet dents.
really different, it makes me want to know more in so few words.
I've been wonder what I should do with my cast iron skillet, which has just bee rusting in the cabinet lately.
Do you think it useful on the teenage son to get the grass mowed? This is my current domestic problem.
cant say much more about this one other than it is not fiction...
i am beat. spent all night in the ER with a client...if i dont catch you soon, i will in the morning...
Rest up Brian! What kind of work is it you do? Are you in the Medical/ Mental Health field? It sounds like you do similar kind of work to me.
Yep! An iron skillet will get 'er done for sure. I love the part where the son is lying in the depression in the grass. The picture is horrifying and hysterical all at the same time!!
Hugs
SueAnn
We both have murder on our mind this week eh?
Excellent 55 Brian.
Thanks for visiting, thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End
Killer post! Looks like it's takeaway tonight!
Well, Brian, after reading your reply saying this is not fiction, I am truly regret my flippant comment. I am tempted to delete it, but will leave it for all to see as prime example of insensitive foot-in-mouth contortionism. Sorry.
Get some rest, my friend.
Yeah. Not too many think of the "secondary" victims. If such a thing exists. Thought provoking as always Brian.
Hmmmm ... mysterious and enigmatic. You are a wiley one, Brian.
Oh geez, Brian you are on a bit of a dark streak my friend. I like the term "walrus" that ties in to the "Domestic Animals". Crisp flow. Good one.
me me me...
wow better say that less - I'm not fond of cast iron
This seriously happened in our city about 18 months ago. Those cast iron skillets make serious weapons! Great 55, Brian.
If it wasn't so tragic, I'd laugh at the line about his boxers.
what is up with you and Otin and all of this domestic violence? I want sunshine, kitty cat whiskers, unicorn horns, cupcake sprinkles, and rainbows...I think I am depressed but it's a compliment....so well written that it struck a chord!
Yikes. I once knew a guy whose mother whacked in the head with hot greasy spatula. I think it would have been the cast iron skillet, but it was heavy, and she was a little woman. Besides, why waste a mess of good fried chicken?
I had to read it twice. Great one!! It really does leave you wanting more.
Wow.. that's powerful.
Well, my goodness but aren't you all violent for a Friday. Love. It. Have a happy weekend!:-)
no worries lorenzo...my foot fits in my mouth as well. too often. smiles.
the violence, i think it was a product of my evening/morning...now i will sleep...
oh my goodness, brian, this was breathtaking but in the punch-you-in-the-stomach-and-take-your-breath-away kind of way! i'll bet things like this happen way more often than we would ever imagine! such an awesome 55!
little hearts boxers
cutting into his abundance.
Hilarious! I am afraid I have seen such a sight in real life and wasn't isn't pretty ;)!
I kept on reading it over and over again hoping to grasp the meaning of it. i don't know if what I got is what you meant but you certainly know how to provoke the mind.
Intriguing indeed.
I hope you get the rest you needed. Have a great weekend!! :)
"...little heart boxers cutting into his abundance." Perfect description.
"...none questioned how her response...except their son, laying in the impression left in the uncut grass."
How do you do it so well, so often, so effortlessly?
This is quite complex too.
You,Sir, just wrote a PERFECT 55!
LOVE it though I do not quite understand it..my fault..
Mine is here
Have you an AWESOME weekend!
hugs
shakira
Those boxers cutting into my abundance...WOW!!
Brian, you are indeed a MASTER teller of tales. Were you on the road to Canterbury?
Tsk. She didn't have to hit him, just stop feeding him.
ouch.
don't like the thought of someone being hurt let alone killed, but you did describe it very well.
........:-) Hugs
enigmatic.
There are many layers to this. Excellent.
Very beautiful. Awesome 55!
On the second reading my hand actually covered my mouth and I felt immediately sad for this family. A tragedy. As mother to 3, sometimes obnoxious and PITA boys, and a chef with more cast iron skillets than is necessary ~ I am thankful to be able to my keep anger in check. So many unanswered questions in your 55...which is what always makes them SO good, SO juicy and SO real. Bravo Brian.
Thanks for visiting earlier.
Friday Flash 55 ~ Silvia's Smile
A sad story
handsomely told.
superb 55.
Hmmmmm, mysterious and intriguing. Yet another great 55 Brian.
My 55 for the week, is HERE As always, scroll down past my Friday's Show n Tell to find it. Have a glorious day.
Your heart's reaction to a bad business, it seems...well-written, for sure - powerfully expressed.
Be well.
-C
another stunner..and visual.. do you get any of your ideas from your work?
That's simply beautiful and adorable.
Thanks for everything!!!
Check out THE CELEBRATE POET AWARD:
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/the-celebrate-poet-of-april-award-announcement-for-nomination/
Wow Brian. Very interesting indeed. Blessings and have a wonderful weekend.
Hurt animals cut me deep...
Excellent -- it's the little things like the boxers and the impression left in the grass that really bring it to life.
Cast iron skillets are real killers, especially if they are made out of old iron cannon balls. This was funny and sad and crazy, all in one.
And it could be a true story of self indulgence beyond the norm that went awry.
God bless.
I saw the clues are in the underwear...something really interesting going on here besides domestic violence.
Wow.. dramatic and powerful. The real victim is, of course, the child.
If I'm catching your drift here, your 55, like mine, is about abuse .....from the side we don't hear about as often.
And...the innocent lay in the grass.
Sad, but true.
PG
Hmmmmm, I have a COMPLETE mental photo of this man in his "boxers cutting into his abundance!"
Those frying pans are DEADLY.
Left me wondering about these demented domestics.
LOL...I love it, as always Brian!
You have captured the worst ending to domestic violence. Whatever the outcome all people involved are often hurt, either physically or mentally. Well written.
Creative way to tell a sad story, and in 55 nonetheless. Awesome.
Here's mine I just dropped it w/G-Man.
Simon Says
Nicely Brian, this is great flash fiction, you've got the art of encapsulation down to a tee!
The cast iron skillet, good idea. A number 8 is about the right size, big enough to do the job, but not too heavy to handle, so, how do you like your pancakes?
(good job, again)
Kat
background info...don't leave us hanging please...
thank you for your comment, smiles,
Great 55! And the kids are the ones hurt the most in those situations. Hope this is not from a real life scene! Happy Weekend!
what a tragedy
I feel for the son.
this truly is a gem of a story. very wonderful piece brian.
That's why I make it a point to keep my cast iron skillet in a hard to get to place. :)
Well I'd say they are not domesticated.
Nothing like a frying pan multi tasking...
I like those cast iron skillets because they have a multitude of uses--as you clearly pointed out.
"It is going to be a weekend that is full of many magical moments and shared with my family and friends, she said." "You need to do the same and have many moments of laughter and many smiles on your face.""How does all of this sound to you?"
"So, please enjoy your weekend."
BYE......
Great 55, but why not 105 to explain more.....mmmm open ended motives.
Hey, your TT post is a good read on mystery, I am always intrigued with the human condition.....
I'm writing it here since I didn't think you'd read the 110 comment!!! -J
Awesome 55 Brian. Very descriptive and vivid, especially the first stanza. I love that the murder weapon was a skillet. I don't know why, I just do.
Holy cow, that is just too REAL! Growing up I knew people who could've snapped like that any minute. Yikes.
Happy weekend!
You could make a part 2
LOL
Fantastic 55 :)
Very intriguing my friend and just chilling if you ask me. :) Well done of course. :) Enjoy your weekend :)
not the skillet about the head, eeek painful mate, good story, happy weekend :)
I like the title of your 55, Brian. It told the whole story in 2 words. Nice touch, that son. Have a great weekend.
Ok, I feel like I've been hit on the head! Poor bloke? Or did he do something to deserve it! That is the question...duh duh duuuuuh lmao XD
human beings are animals too...
I marvel at your wit and humor although your story/poem is set in a difficult situation!
Happy Friday!
Keep your spirits up and have fun!
human beings are animals too...
I marvel at your wit and humor although your story/poem is set in a difficult situation!
Happy Friday!
Keep your spirits up and have fun!
My frying pans are such lightweights, they'd barely leave a dint!
Yikes. But it really happens.
Whoa, dude! Very well done, but now I feel dirty...
That takes real talent.
Note to self...get a great big skillet!
Why do your stories always leave me wanting more??
What about the little boy????
Excellent.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Well, I am definitely wondering more about the precipitating factors for this impulsive act
( or maybe it was pretty premeditated! ). Do tell us more!!!
Nice change of pace with this 55 Brian.
Get some rest and enjoy the weekend.
jj
Great, dead walrus. I know the feeling.
murder he wrote! intriguing indeed. nice one!
Great 55 Brian!
Mag Pie tales looks interesting to try. Thanks Brian fior dropping by and as always love your poetry thanks for visiting and commenting.
larry aka Blue
Mysterious 55!
Oh, that is so sad...
Your paint such vivid images with your words, that even feelings become objects.
xo
It's never a happy ending when domesticated animals turn to violence.
You really have a knack for this 55 thing. Nice work.
How you can say so much in so little truly amazes me. Wow. I'm blown away.
Love your blog!
The pig deserved it. :)
She must have really thought he had it coming. Whoa.
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