she walks the lines
down the center of the road,
looking for someone
she barely knows....
sometimes finding traces
in the arms of faceless lovers,
feeling twice as empty
slipping from beneath the covers.
it's hard to be
daddy's little girl,
when he's never there.
she walks the lines
down the center of the road...
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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105 comments:
There is so much truth in that poem. I was a support group facilitator for at risk teens for a while when I was teaching, and the number of teenage girls whose promiscuousness could be traced back to the lack of a Dad's affection was so sad.
true enough--could be a 2nd tenth daughter entry, too. Should line(s) be pluralized? sounds weird to me.
This goes straight to the heart!
She sounds like a sad girl. Trying to fill up that hole in the heart. It won't work.
Heartbreaking it is.
What a great 55. Tugs at the heart strings.
That's so profound, Brian.
it amazes me how deep you portrayed that girl in merely 55 words
Dang this conjures up unwelcome images in my mind for regions you can understand.
...always looking...
It is heartbreaking to think how many little girls like this there really are in our world. Children so desperately need parents who love and care for them.
I pray for these lost souls.
PG
This is such a sad poem.....and unfortunately reflects the feelings of so many young ladies.....I hope a lot of lackluster Dads read this!!
I especially like the line about feeling twice as empty afterward.
Thanks for another Friday 55.
We can always count on you. :)
Mine is posted right here.
I'm starting a three-part series called "The Ugly Truth About Vegetables".
Start lowering your expectations right about now. :)
Oh, so sad but all too common and true.
looking for love in all the wrong places... :(
You packed a lot in 55 words, Brian. So sad that this scenario is played out every single day...
Wonderful job, the poem really conveys its meaning.
So sad this is such a true story. My FFF 55 will be HERE after midnight Pacific time.
So sad, and so true, Brian. The lack of a father's love and attention leaves such wounds in children's lives.
My 55 is We Stand There
i know this pain all too well, brian...i have a daughter who can't come to grips with the absence of a father who is right there. this was deeply, sadly moving...
Such a shame that because a man does not step up to the plate to face his responsibilities that a child will pay a lifetime of sins to seek his approval. This, my friends, is what is meant by Sins of the Father.
Bravo, Brian
Well once again in 55 words it is amazing what you can say. so much truth to this. wow.
What some wold be happy to write in 555 words, you do in 55.
Powerfully, and horrifyingly an all-too-often true story written in the classical style, like a movement of a sonata.
I see the preacher's daughter in Footloose in this.
Brian, all I can say is "preciously painful." Thanks for sharing.
This is all too true...I always make sure my husband understands what an important part he plays in our daughter's life. It has such far-reaching repercussions.
I love how only 55 words can produce so much imagery. Or maybe I just forgot my meds again.
Very moving, Brian. Again. I am still a little shaky from your last post to tell you the truth. You have such a way with words.
Well done. Love/ Jo.
...Oh, and mine is up... :)
That emptiness can never be filled...
55 condensed steps of empty wandering by that little girl ---You have these 55ers down to an art form.
Some will walk that line their entire lives in search ...
compelling 55 my friend
and yes my post is
here
I just hope she finds him soon or at least the peace that fills the whole.
yes, this scenario is very common among girls who have daddy issues... :) i know i used to have hang ups... thank GOD i outgrew that phase... :)
Powerful words my friend, sad but true........:-) Hugs
so tur it is .. beautiful .. lo ve the usage of words ..and meaning behined .. good work ..
thnx fr ur visit to my blog ..hope to see more of you there.. !
:)
A heart wrenching 55 for me Brian but of course so very well written! I was a very much loved child & my mother did an wonderful job raising me, my brother & sister ... in fact she is my hero! An amazing woman!! I often wonder how she did it all on her own.
As a teenager I was never promiscuous or unruly. In fact I was a good girl!
But there was always a part of me that yearned for a Daddy!!!
I used to notice my best friends father & how he used to make my friend feel like the center of his universe. He was her first love (and I mean this in the purest of ways)
I wrote a blog entry a few months ago which touched on this time of my life... if you want to have a read!
http://kat-thinkingplace.blogspot.com/2009/04/jersey-girl.html
There is such empathy, emotion and understanding in this short poem, it is truly wonderful.
Another excellent 55. Harrowing, emotive.
Beautiful poetry..so touched.. thanks!!
Take care
Your eloquence is often best palpable in these short poems...
Very touching, made me almost cry as I feel a bit melancholic today...
xo
there are so many such troubled kids around. i see them everyday. The system of joint families (a staple in India) is breaking down and such kids with no one to depend on, do walk that line ...
you have always had that eye for detail :)
awesome...mines up too
So sad
As the mother of two girls I hope that doesn't happen.
Well written
Wow, Brian. Very insightful and a perfect prose to go with much of what I am currently writing at the moment. Again, wow! How did you get to be so intuitive?
Nice work. It takes a particular skill to cram so much emotion into so few words.
This was a 'killer' today. Sad. But still worthy Brian. You always pull at our heart strings.
Mine is "LOST IN THE TRANSLATION"
Have a great weekend! [and as always, scroll down a bit to find my 55]
So true...so true! And sad as well.
I have known many who have walked the lines..only to be heart broken again and again.
Hugs
SueAnn
That one tugs at the heart strings for sure Brian.
Powerful words - and so true. Nicely done, Brian! :)
Yes..... I dare say there are many like this!
Nuts in May
your words flow so well, so real...like I said before you're my idol...sorry about yesterday, I was a little upset ;)
So sad and so very true. I hope she finds him and herself in the process. Thank you, as always, for visiting me as well.
Friday Flash 55 ~ Butterfly Kisses
Becoming truer all the time, I'm afraid. Tugs at my heart.
So sad because it's so true.
A brilliant 55, Brian! I'm up, too.
Sounds like it should be set to music...
vicki...i was feling a song when i wrote this...had to pare it down quite a bit...but who knows i just might sing it one day...smiles.
Poor girl.....so sad.
I wish you a lovely weekend!!!
A child looking for a good role model. How many children are that way?
Oh, so true...so many little girls looking for love to fill the void...the deep cavernous void...
It breaks my heart Brian. SO SAD.
a lyrical sing-song, that all too many would howl out at the local karaoke...infamous!
55 words & you came up with that!!! I am rubbing shoulders with royalty!!! excellent
Makes me glad that I have a loving father! So much expressed in so few words. Lovely Brian!
How do you know about such deep inner sad things? You nailed this right. Sad but true 55.
May this weekend bring you many wonderful writings of love and happiness. :) Enjoy.
Wow that was powerful. I'm always amazed at how much truth and emotion you can cram into so few words :)
Speaking of, thanks for the little poem in my comments yesterday. It made me smile.
Happy weekend,
Jen
Really nice 55, thanks. Mine's up as well at http://bit.ly/8dt963. Have a great weekend!
Very sad and powerful.
Painful and powerfully written, you have a very strong poetic voice.
They say girls tend to marry someone like their daddy. That should remind all fathers to be the kind of man they want their daughters to marry.
That's sad.
The need to feel loved and accepted can be at the root of so many addictions.....
Wow. This makes you really sad for the little girl. Beautifully written. :) have a great Friday.
Amazing that you could say so much with so few words...well done!
So sad but true.
Starla ( I supose I should try and figure out how to sign up on this Blogger thing a ma jigger.
Fancinating lines!
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/07/week-17-the-perfect-poet-award/
Week 17 The Perfect Poet Award Winner. Well Deserved!
Happy Friday!
very heart touching and beautiful poem.
Very well written Brian. Short; but a lot said in so few words.
:) The Bach
you dont mind breaking hearts, do you...
Your ability to see life from all aspects never ceases to amaze me!
Sorry Brian, crazy week for me...haven't been here much.
I love your 55's!!! You say so much with so little.
This is so true of most young girls I know. (And maybe myself as well.)
here's my friday 55
i have no idea how to do that cool blue link thingie
http://notasangry.blogspot.com/2010/05/friday-55-my-first-ever-be-gentle.html
that was very moving.
It's so sad and unfortunately very true for far too many.
Absentee dads suck.
God gave me boys for a reason..I would have spent a lot of time with a shotgun on the porch, looking at my wristwatch..
see matty can do it in 2 words...lol.
Just new you'd like this one, you seem to like the bloody scenes. love your poem as always.
Thanks for reading and commenting too from
Larry"this Blog Of Mine".
sadness in 55 words.great stuff.well done Brian
Haunting! So true though.
that was simply brilliant, best one yet, well done mate, happy weekend :)
A good and caring parent who is around can really make all the difference!
A sad story, but there could be any number of reasons for fathers absence.
Haunting, sad, and a lot of truth in those words. Not for me, but in a lot of women out there. Nice work, Brian.
I'm so lucky to have had a loving father who was there for me. It's a shame how many kids today don't have that luck. :(
good read, sad write, time for me to look outside myself and write new poems, you see through others eyes well,
It is so heartbreaking...
Used to worry about my daughters before I remarried.
So true.
Mine is here
Have a great weekend!
hugs
shakira
Wow, moving and disturbing all at the same time. But I guess that's a good definition of life, huh?
Have a great weekend!
That is a powerful and heart-breaking 55 Brian.
Great job,
jj
Yep, as John Mayer sings...
"fathers be good to your daughters...."
'nuff said!!
xo
This is heartbreaking, Brian. I see "lines" as appropriate. One after the other after the other after the other, never reaching the destination.
It's amazing how you can get yourself into the skin of others! It feels like you could have been the little girl missing his dad's presence ... truly amazing Brian!
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