Sunday, April 4, 2010

everyday easter

my body
broken & bleeding
with my self injection
of self deception
of hate filled rejection
of my own redemption
so in trying to feed
this perilous need
i lay me down to sleep
in any field i can reap
until my bones weep
no soul left to keep
and i can not...

(breathe...)

all alone, no home
chewing stones
just to feel & taste the spittle
that gathers in the corner of my cheek,
little by little

life presses me flatter
and flatter, mad hatter
laying lilies on my grave
too late to hit save
paper thin, here comes the end

HELP ME~HELP ME!

i scream in my head, heart
hanging on by a thread
as over my lips spill this disease
drowning, please
you found me
set me free,
my heart beats, you are...
I AM
when i can not be,
risen indeed.

this is my
everyday,
easter.

91 comments:

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Phew...Your poem makes me realize how spoiled I am and how much I take forgranted. Shame on me.

Dianne said...

Life ends over and over,
we renew when we are touched,
is the soul ever truely broken?

Nancy said...

Wow. Really? Powerful writing, Brian. I agree with Bonnie. And Dianne, too.

liza said...

you can feel the speed of his heart racing. beautiful work.

otin said...

You know me, Brian! It is a wonderful poem, but I am not quite getting it. Trust me, it is me, I have a mental block with these.

Me said...

Gorgeous and powerful...

Peace & happiness this Easter, Brian.
-Corrie

5thsister said...

we need to die unto ourselves to reap the grace Jesus has purchased for us.

Beautiful!

Katherine said...

I have read this several times Brian & you have moved me. This is powerful! You have brought home to me, that not everyones Easter is a Happy one. There are many in our communities that live lives less fortunate than ours...the homeless, the lonely, those whose lives are shattered for one reason or another. And their easter is just like every other day!

Titanium said...

Now we see through a glass, darkly...but then face to face.

It's in the Knowing that the pain lies.

Vodka Logic said...

Made me sad, like life is such a struggle..at least you rebirth

MV said...

Great stuff Brian. I especially, like this:

, you are...
I AM
when i can not be,
risen indeed.

Daniel said...

I'm struggling with this one a bit. Maybe it hits a little too close to home.

Brian Miller said...

this is pretty much my redmption story...

otin said...

I thought something like that, but I always second guess myself. I LOVE the way that it is written!

tori said...

He is the great I AM and He is risen indeed....
Happy Easter Brian! :)

lakeviewer said...

Serious stuff here, so much so that I need to return and ponder over each line.

willow said...

I love how you wove the "now I lay me down to sleep" prayer, as well as the Mad Hatter into this piece, Brian. Redemption is a mad and childish thing.

Happy Easter to you and yours! x

willow said...

Actually, I meant "childlike" thing...as in faith.

Eva Gallant said...

I'm in awe of your writing.

Tracy said...

i lay me down to sleep
in any field i can reap
until my bones weep
no soul left to keep
and i can not...

(breathe...)

Yum. That is a poem in and of itself. I'm going to chew on that awhile and enjoy the flavor. :-)

Barb said...

Wow. Beautiful. Happy Easter.

The Retired One said...

This one was a bit abstract for me, but I hear pain and I think it is about how you suffered until you met your love....

California Girl said...

You are killing me.

Nancy is right. This is powerful stuff.

Our minister spoke only of the various forms of rebirth: renewal, second chances, reassessment. He was quite powerful too.

Happy Easter B.

william said...

we all take things for granted, however as I get older I begin to appreciate what I have, 2 posts in one day, wow..

TechnoBabe said...

You open yourself up and share on a more personal level in the writing. I get a sense of how hard you work on yourself. Join the club my friend. It is always one day at a time.

Jingle said...

I can feel the energy or powerful in this piece, it is breathe taking.
Thank YOU for the thrill!
Smiles!

Jingle said...

you could be your own inspirations by simply looking back...
I like this poem so very much.
It strikes like a rocket...
Happy Easter Evening!

Pat said...

Praise God he is risen!! Lovely!!!
Brian I do appreciate your comments,Thanks.
Love ya an enjoy a good evening :)

Ronda Laveen said...

Redemption. We see it every day in many ways, in our life and others.

Beautifully written.

Blessed be.

LadyCat said...

Sometime it takes dying of one part of us, for a new part to live.

CatLadyLarew said...

Powerful stuff, Brian!

Diana (Diane) Maria said...

Your writing is profound. I was gripped by these words,
"you are...
I AM
when i can not be,"
I can't tell you how many times I reread your writing. (I am still awestruck by "stained glass windows".)
When I was a student in college and my English Comp teacher was trying to convey good writing to me, all she had to say was, "Diane go read Brian Miller."
I am adding your blog to both of my blog rolls right now.

Yodood said...

Observing people as being less fortunate requires belief in being specially gifted — as faith makes martyrs of wishful thinkers.

Diana (Diane) Maria said...

I meant to write "stained glass rainbows". I was carried away.

Velvet Over Steel said...

Wow, Brian, powerful poem!! Thanks for sharing it went us!!
~ Coreen

Cop Mama said...

Out of darkness and into the light...such imagery...amazing!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You definitely touched a chord with everyone! Easter, rebirth......

Yousei Hime said...

Wow. Your poem is as moving and heavy as mine, maybe more. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Thanks for stopping by and reading my newest poems. Parts are true. I think it would be difficult to write well and deeply about something we know nothing about. I can tell you understand that too. Thank you for your encouragment.

An Open Heart said...

Speechless...I AM

S

Jaime said...

hope you had a good easter

Little Ms Blogger said...

If this is about you, which I think it is, I'm sorry life is so hard.

I also relate a little too much to it and wish I didn't.

May Spring bring good things to you and your family.

gayle said...

Beautiful poem ...so very deep!!

Luisa Doraz said...

Hope your week will be full of many cherished moments of love and laughter. :)

Teri said...

I love how you have conveyed the higher power into this: the I AM. I take it as though it is a metaphor for easter...an ability to change, to grow, to be re-born so to speak. We get these chances all the time. We just have to know when to "rise" from our self-inflicted "grave" and find what we are meant to do (and be). Happy easter, Brian. Keep up the good wor(k)(d).

Lisa said...

I picture a homeless person trapped in the disease of addiction....it is painful, but a powerful piece. I would give you TWO pennies for your thoughts on this one and your motivation.

a very different vibe and I quite enjoyed it.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Again, I say, WOW.
Great job Brian.
Happy Easter,
jj

Katherine said...

My interpretation was off the mark on this one but I think I get it now!
I have sat here & read it again, several times...and as I read it...the interpretations are many.
I think it threw me because although I don't know you in the personal sense, I find it difficult to think of you as broken & in need of redemption.
Very clever Brian!

Pat said...

Hi Brian I don't see any awards? Did you forget to post them? Okay I'll wait for your reply. :)

Unknown Mami said...

I don't really know what to say to this one except, WOW.

Protege said...

Beautiful...
A mans suffering with spiritual undertone...
I trust both you and your family had a lovey Easter.;)
xo
Zuzana

Unseen Rajasthan said...

BEautiful Poem !! This is so fantastic !! Great post !Unseen Rajasthan

Harnett-Hargrove said...

A curve is just that, and the wave always comes back up. I love the rap sound to this. -J

the walking man said...

I suppose it depends on the god looked to for resurrection.

blueviolet said...

There can be some pretty nasty vices in the past sometimes. Here's to a present free of them!

evalinn said...

Really touching!

sheila said...

So very very deep. And can be applied to many things in life. And I suppose death. And rebirth. I love the little things you incorporate that one wouldn't otherwise expect. Madhatter. So powerful. Very beautiful.

Yousei Hime said...

I suspect a lot of us are wearing similar clothing ("cut from the same cloth"), and just don't realize it. Glad you liked the poems. Thanks for your continued visits and encouraging comments.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

((HUGZ!!))

Mama Wheaton said...

Love the pacing of the poem, it does have a heart beat racing affect.

buffalodick said...

Very well said...

Brian Miller said...

jayne...thats intentional...i was really inspired with a spoken word vid i saw yesterday and figured i would try my hand at it.

Poet Traveler (John) said...

Hi Brian, beautiful poem. Excellently written.
Thanks for commenting on my blog
I've put you on my Blogroll over at Wordpress
and I invite you to place me on yours now.
Let us stay in touch :)
Thanks.
John
Poet Traveler

http://poettraveler.wordpress.com/

Jill said...

I have tears as I read this...it is so beautiful.
He is risen indeed!!!!

Happy Easter to you and your lovely family.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Great story of redemption.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Wow, that was really worth reading, Brian. There are plenty souls in this house, all of which are perfectly intact and enjoying their new journey.

CJ xx

Alix said...

chewing stones.

Wow, Brian. That's so sad and powerful.

Maha said...

It left me hyperventilating! I love abstract poems that splendidly draw feelings.

Suldog said...

My! There certainly is a lot to chew on there (aside from rocks and such, of course.) Very powerful.

A.Decker said...

So...Easter Bunny bring you anything?!

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Very powerful poem, Brian..
thank you so much for sharing your blessings
with us when you share your writings...
hugs
shakira

Mama Zen said...

Powerful writing.

Nessa said...

I feel lost, too.

Jingle said...

you are a genius today,
thank you for the fun!
nice to see you smile!

chitowngreg said...

It really is an inside job! Thanks!!

CottageGirl said...

So many ways to read this, Brian.
The Crucifixion and the Resurrection?
One poor soul suffering?
Thought provoking writing.

Anya said...

OMG
Its fantastic Brain :-)
You make me ^___^

Otter Thomas said...

I love the way this is written even if I am really slow on the interpretation.

ModernMom said...

So serious today Brian...
Happy Easter:)

utopianfragments said...

gosh.. what a fabulous run.
i really enjoyed reading this one..

Robin said...

That was breathtaking...I had to read and reread..to feel it again..not only the words but the flow... exceptional... It means a few different things to me..but the most profound...dying to yourself, growth and change..my favorite thing...beautiful..!

Jingle said...

I appreciate your kindness, Brian.
it is public, others who read it may think otherwise...however, I don't mind...
I will see you next time,
have fun!

Marla said...

So powerful and beautiful and true. I am forever thankful.

Goofball said...

wow quite heavy for Easter day itself. Rejoice, there's hope ! :)

Corrie Howe said...

I love the images. I can see this at least two ways, one is how I allow myself to get to this point because I don't except the redemption - I must do everything on my own. The second is how I must get to the point of being so flattened that I call out for redemption - it is necessary to die each day so that I might live.

I love otin's honest. And I can't believe there is another Corrie following you.

Pravin Nair said...

Hi Brian,
that was dark & beautiful...I came out with a negative interpretation..the reality of many who are not fortunate or privileged enough to lead the lives we do..dnno if thats the essence you had in mind?

I now cherish the importance of these ocassions all the more in my life..lovely!

www.assorted-platter.blogspot.com

Mmm said...

Yes, easter comes once a year but it lives on each day. Well put story of redemption here.

Uma Gowrishankar said...

Brian,this is just too good.

Ji said...

thank you for the encouraging words,
I appreciate your kindness.
Happy Tuesday Evening!
You Deserve The Best!

suryagni said...

its beautiful and scary.

Pat said...

I love how this is written and the pace of it, as it builds and builds. Very powerful message.

Mighty M said...

A wonderful message for Easter and for everyday.