Thursday, April 22, 2010

55 - at the corner of irony & insight

six AM stoplight,
on the edge of night,
this white yugo pulls beside us
honking
waving
like end of the world coming
motioning the window down
frantically...
yo brake light out on da drivah side
beddah git dat fixed;
orange rooster tail of sparks
flaring from his muffler dragging
as he speeds
out of sight.

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

I am sure he was just being helpful, not concerned with my splinter while blinded by the log in his eyes. None of us are, right? Smiles.

Have a great Friday everyone!

124 comments:

Titanium said...

Well, obviously. 'Cause dude with 'tude is always first to be helpful. Right?

Good one, Brian.

Jingle said...

fun read,
I love the springy sound in your words!
;)

Jingle said...

speeding is common,
animated capture of the driver...
brilliant 55.
Happy Friday!

Best!
;)

Mighty M said...

That would NOT at all freak me out. At least he was trying to be helpful. Too bad you didn't have time to tell him to get that muffler looked at. :)

Meeko Fabulous said...

again, a picture with words!

Cop Mama said...

"orange rooster tail of sparks"...so vivid, such wonderful imagery!

Too funny!

5thsister said...

funny...same guy told me I left my gas cap off! LOL!

TechnoBabe said...

Great story, nice guy, just oblivious to his own stuff, or just ingested or smoked too much stuff.

Yodood said...

What's with the log and the splinter? You lost me.

slommler said...

Love dis guy...full of personality and self-righteousness! What a wonderful character. Well done Brian...now speed up and catch him and tell him about his muffler!
HA!
Hugs
SueAnn

Ronda Laveen said...

That kind of a muffler makes his motor sound bigger.

Eva Gallant said...

Once again, you've brought us there with you. Who couldn't see the yugo with spark tail!

Betsy said...

Love the humor mixed with the lesson.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

So good and so true!

Ocean Girl said...

It was like watching a movie. And all in just 55.

Wings said...

Helpful, at least. :)

Jen said...

LOL. It's always the beat-up old cars that let you know. I'm sure he was on the way to get that muffler looked at.

SandyCarlson said...

Ah, the safety-conscious hipster. They have hearts! I enjoyed that.

Joanie M said...

Wasn't he nice to let you know! Funny, when I read the story, I heard a Jamaican accent!

Everyday Goddess said...

Yugo's trailing sparks, that's funny. Yugo's in general, that's funny too.

Mojo said...

Sounds like his heart was in the right place. Even if his muffler wasn't. ;)

Dianne said...

Its good to laugh at the idiosyncracies of the world. Or the serendipities.

Mine is up HERE

HAKAWE, Dianne

G-Man said...

Well, I know this is Flash Fiction. Because there can't possibly be any Yugo's on the road!
Excellent 55 Brian.
Early as it is..;-)
Thanks for playing, thanks for visiting, and have a Kick Ass Week-End!
Galen

Brian Miller said...

ha. no its for real g-man. about 2 weeks back...and it shocked me to see one...maybe i fell asleep at the light and it was all a dream...smiles.

Me said...

I love the way you find a story in the smallest of moments...
Great 55!! :)

Magpie said...

This title is perfect!! You have done another fantastic job with your 55.

Might I inquire as to when the next Brotin Tale will be???

blueviolet said...

It was apparently very important that he help ya out!

Changnoi said...

I like it - funny.

Harnett-Hargrove said...

As the finger points... -J

Mama Zen said...

This is a fun one, Brian!

Prayer Girl said...

Man, you sure have a way with words. Loved this 55.

PG

Stan Ski said...

'Yugo' and 'speeds' in the same sentence - I'm confused... ;)

Jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/04/23/the-perfect-poet-award-week-15-announcement/

Happy Thursday Evening!
Thank you for the perfect performance and sincere support!

Again, you 55 is fabulous!

Alyssa said...

I don't think I could even attempt to tell a story in 55 words...but why should I you do it so well! Hope you have great Friday too.

Tracy said...

Nice one, Brian. Always nice to see your wonderful words at the end of my day.

Peter Stone said...

Awesome title, and a riot of a 55, Brian. His muffler is dragging and he is speeding, yet he worries about your break light? Splinters and logs is rightses.

Deb said...

Ah, a true word artist! I always look forward to my visit here. I am in awe at the works of art you create using the tools of your craft.

Leslie said...

Sweet Brian!!!! Can see it happening

The Retired One said...

I had to smile at this,Brian...we just drove down to Florida from Michigan (got here today!) and yesterday we got pulled over by a very southern Alabama trooper who took forever to get out of the patrol car...we couldn't figure out why he stopped us...finally he comes over and says the light over our license plate in the back was out and "we'd better mosey on over and get it fixed because it is illegal". ?? WTH? He didn't give us a ticket (thankgoodness) but weird...he just left then..well, he mosey'd on over to his car and left. Whew!

sheri... said...

hey brian, got quite a kick out of this one...you just never know about people ;) have a great weekend!

Yvonne Osborne said...

Brian,
First of all, I love your title! Super. And your 55 is so funny. You've got the accent down and everything. Great images...orange rooster tail of sparks and the dude waving like end of the world coming. Reall really fine.

Mine is up now. Thanks!

Monkey Man said...

Funny. Great image. My 55 is up. You can find it HERE.

Maggie said...

It probably made his day helping out. :)

AngelMay said...

"Orange rooster tail of sparks" - loved that image, Brian. Also loved the title. :)

TALON said...

lol! I loved it - and could see it all so perfectly!

Bernie said...

not fair, you are just so good at this. Only teasing, keep up the good work.......:-) Hugs

PattiKen said...

I decided that the noisy tailpipe is a guy thing. A burned out tail light, on the other hand... I dunno, Brian.

Too funny.

Alan Burnett said...

Usual style, usual quality. Matchless.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I could so picture that exchange. Great 55, as always.
jj

järnebrand said...

Funny and clever. :) I have met people like that. Most of them are... men... :) Ha!Well done, Brian.
Also, I loved the log and the splinter thing...

Peace and love/ Jo.
My 55 is up...

Shraddha said...

Well written and very humorous

anthonynorth said...

That was fun - and the words flowed.

Mrsupole said...

I too thought there were no more Yugo's out on the road. I thought they had all died and gone to Yugoheaven. Are you sure it wasn't another ghost that you were seeing? Yup, it had to be a ghost car, not sure where the driver came from though.

Yugo and have a nice weekend now, ok.

God bless.

jinksy said...

Irony rules!

Zuzana said...

How exciting that you are familiar with a yugo (or Zastava as it was called).;)) I thought this cars were only sold in Europe.;))
Have a great Friday Brian,
xo

kristine said...

haha. 'yugo'- cool word. this is funny. you're right, he's probably just more concerned with the splinter revving his motorbike? behind you.
regards

Lorraine said...

That's fantastic and so funny, happen to me once, except I appreciated more as it was my purse on the roof of my car lol

otin said...

At least he was trying to help! :)

I like the humor in this one.

Tabor said...

I am assuming this really happened? Bet he had a bet going. Tightly written as always.

tony said...

I always hate it when people do that.I should be grateful but...........

sheila said...

It's wonderful that people are still considerate. Helpful. And willing to help another avoid a ticket.

I know I always point those things out. Only I'm not spewing orange sparks. Or, dragging my muffler. Yet. lol.

I think that was sweet.

Katherine said...

Oh Brian...so you have 'helpful hoons' in America too!! I thought they all lived here! Well there you go...you learn something new everyday! Great 55~

Goofball said...

If you get to sleep in, there's less interesting people on the road


or maybe not :)

Little Ms Blogger said...

just think you were his good deed for the day

Kathy said...

Fantastic!!

Vicki Lane said...

Very nice! I can see the orange rooster tail of sparks!

Daniel said...

Love it. Good hook for this tale.

The pale observer said...

What an excellent use of your limited words. Great little story. I think we were all immersed in it immediately!

John's comments said...

Thanks for dropping by.I'm the one usual going what rear lights? See if you can spot the lyrics in my 55 words

AmyLK said...

HA! That's funny!

Jessie said...

thank you for the chuckle and smile.

Enchanted Oak said...

Loved your title too. You're a gentle, ironic soul. Get that brake light fixed. You could get a ticket.
My 55 is here

Dulce said...

Oh yes... and again you've hit the top
Great 55... as always.
;)

Vodka Logic said...

Nice read, gotta love a helpful yugo.

my 55 is up

buffalodick said...

Something about glass houses throwing stones...

natalee said...

Lol.. well at least they were trying to be good citizens...LOL!!!! the imagery was perfect!!!

chitowngreg said...

Nice one. Mine's up as well at http://bit.ly/8dt963. Have a great weekend!

Alice Audrey said...

I suspect it gave him great glee to be able to say that to someone. Not so much a misery loves company thing so much as a don't look down on me thing.

Hilary said...

Oh too funny.. and so perfectly expressed in your 55 zone. ;)

Raven said...

Great 55. I love the line, 'orange rooster tail of sparks.'

You have a great Friday too!

Andy Sewina said...

Yo like me yugo hah? Yo got dat brake light fix yet?

tattytiara said...

Well I personally wouldn't need anybody to tell me my muffler was lighting up the street with sparks, but a tail light being out I might not notice without help, yeah. Great imagery!

Chef Kar said...

Yugo Brian! Great 55...fun today.

Find mine here:

Friday Flash 55 ~ Posthumously Yours

Valerie said...

I'm having to guess what a yugo is, nevertheless I liked the way you took him off. Reminds me of the kindhearted guy who told me about my faulty lights.

Wordwand said...

Brian.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Ha ha ha... I would have been shocked too..
He was being very helpful I am sure.
hugs
shakira

Wordwand said...

your talent is immense and amazing brian ,I'm learning from you; in fact I wiqh I could write like this.well done I look forward to your next poem.

LadyFi said...

Great fun.. I really think he was being helpful!

RNSANE said...

Funny 55...around here these days, one would worry that it would be gang stuff and you might end up with a bullet in your head.

Barbara said...

You never know, do you?

lime said...

funny, all the moreso because i used to have a yugo. ;)

Thom said...

Some people just don't like help I guess. LOL And your Hawaiian Pidgin is excellent :) Have a great weekend :)

Steve E said...

I think I know that rooster--at least the tail! Good "55"

Akelamalu said...

Well that was his good deed for the day. :)

Anya said...

You have always unique 55
You have many fantasy :))
Great job again Brian ...
Lovely to read it !!

Enjoy your weekend
:)
:)

Buzzard said...

You know how to tell a story and paint a picture Brian.

william said...

what can u say in 55? in your case mate A LOT and very well written :)

Jingle said...

thanks a million for your open mind...smiles!

Madame DeFarge said...

At least he was trying to be helpful, I suppose. And being sort of observant.

Lulda Casadaga said...

A warning 55! :) The other day a USPS truck driver informed me that my brake light was out! I was at a stop light and heard this voice...almost shit! :D Have a great weekend.

hope said...

That's hysterical!

only a movie said...

Could see the whole thing. :-)

Allisonian said...

Very cool! You're 55 was intense. I can't put my finger on it, but WOW! Amazing 55!
Have a great week-end!
Allison

The Lucy and Dick Show said...

Delightful to read! You tell a rounded story: Short, Sweet And to the Point!

Captain Dumbass said...

My mom owned a Yugo once. We try not to talk about it.

Jannie Funster said...

You heard about the 4-door yugo, eh? It's called the we-go. :)

old joke. who was it said that?? I forget.

Cute moment captured very well!

xo

Larry said...

we have some characters who talk just like that here in Orygun. loved it and a nice flash 55 matey..


Old Time Cartoons


Thanks Brian

Baino said...

Haha . . perhaps you should have caught up with him and told him about his muffler! Have a good weekend yourself!

Cloudia said...

Excellent and redolent of truth!




Aloha from Waikiki


Comfort Spiral

Unknown Mami said...

Maybe he's just got a wicked sense of humor.

Nancy said...

LOL - I find it very sweet. He meant well.

Christina said...

I believe that is the same dude that drive down my street with the bass from his stereo so loud my windows rattle. He's a winner.

Chhaya said...

hahaha.... its the story of life. ppl with busted mufflers point out the dangers in our lives before anyone else

PS: @ Christina - i think the same guy comes to my street too, with his music rattling my windows :D

Robynn's Ravings said...

Deliciously descriptive. WOW! I loved this. And in 55? Geez. I usually need 555 - and that's just to share one succinct thought!

sakhii•• said...

ur words make ny ordinary thing also beautiful....!!

Selina Kingston said...

Ah! but you have made me feel guilty now for the way I purse my lips when I see these guys in their noisy little cars ....

Jingle said...

Have A Satisfying Saturday!
;)

Marla said...

Love it!

mama-face said...

lol. such a contrast to what I just read (catching up in backwards order)...who still owns a yugo? haha.
:)

JML said...

Orange rooster tail of sparks! What a great visual and super fun!

suryagni said...

loved it. and titanium is right :) dude with attitude is always the first one to help voluntarily.

Iva said...

LOL!! FUNNY!!

gayle said...

That pretty much sums up how most of us are!! :)

Jingle said...

It is hard to forgive people after they offended you, I may need to stay away from your followers...there are many other places to explore..
I hope that you have a satisfying day!

Best!
As a friend, you are someone I never want to disappoint or let down...
In case I have said something or done something that make you feel uneasy, please forgive me...

I cherish our friendship,
the family you love is also the family I love...I adore your kids, wife, parents, and wish you and your family the best!

see you later.