late is something we never were. early or on time, but never late. even vacations were discharged with clinical precision, suitcases piled neatly by the door until the appropriate time to be put in their appropriate place so the door would whumpf shut and we could be on our way, on time.
tires hummed, siblings argued, mom navigated by torn map pieces, and dad stared ahead hoping it would all be over soon, or my sister at would wait at least 30 more mile before needing to visit another gas station just to inspect the interior decorating of their bathroom. there really is no way she could have actually used the bathroom that much.
pshwapt...balarubprubprupt...the sound of a cat trapped in a box followed by a small earthquake shaking our car, and we found ourselves drifting off the road into the scrub, where highwaymen hide the bodies. at least that is why we stay in the car with the doors locked, watching the shadows of birds circling overhead. so much for being on time.
even though the windows are sealed tight, we still heard dad teaching the lug nuts new vocabulary as his shirt darkened from white to a wet grey. surely some kid left the nail balanced perfectly on its head, just for him. mom turned a brilliant shade of red, though she said it was the sun. when i try them out later, i end up with a washcloth full of ivory soap on my tongue. evidently it was not the sun.
the crunch of the tires in the dirt and stone signaled our return to the road, and as we crested the hill, blue lights greeted us, slow hands signaling us through the wreckage. faces pressed to the windows, life rolled in slow motion, etching our minds with pictures, then the wind blew through the golden fields and its was all behind us.
some song played on the radio and being on time just didn't seem important any more. flat tires, not so much of a curse. nothing is random, not even the nails. sometimes i think about that.
This story was written for the prompt at Magpie Tales.
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91 comments:
Ah, nicely done, Brian. "For want of a nail the shoe was lost . . ." etc.
I love that "we still heard dad teaching the lug nuts new vocabulary". Very well done.
awsome phrasinng of things
awsome phrasinng of things
I loved this vignette. Very "but for the grace of God go I".
Very well done, Brian.
I absolutely loved it ;)
Very nice, Brian. I bet you could write a very good novel. (Or have you already?) :-)
You do have an amazing way with words. I am humbled every time I read one of your posts.
how life can change with a turn to the left instead of right, a yes instead of a no, a flat tire making us late instead of "dying" to be on time.
Great, great post. Shows there is a purpose in all things, even though we might not always understand.
the cat in the box pshwapt...balarubprubprupt. and dad teaching the lug new vocabulary -- great insights -- made one feel like they were there,,
Is there some truth to the story -- reason why I say that because a real life situation happened to me -- can only explain it by divine providence.
Joanny
I liked that. Great writing and imagination.
QMM
None of ever know how close we're dancing to the edge of the world do we?
We have had that happen too...seeing an accident and turning to each other and saying: "if we hadn't had that one wrong turn, that would have been US"....I know there have been times where our Guardian angels were riding on our roof,too.
Wonderful writing and pacing -- almost a prose poem. I really loved this, Brian!
steviewren...you just cant let it keep you from dancing...
It all happens for a reason, we just don't usually know what the reason is at the time. The big picture is not for our eyes to see.
You continue to just get better Brian, you amaze me my friend and I love all that your write....Hugs
You painted this so well with your words. I could picture every image clearly.
Sorry about the nail and the soap. My parents used Lava soap on me.
Awesome pictures you put in my head, Brian ...
we still heard dad teaching the lug nuts new vocabulary as his shirt darkened from white to a wet grey.
And then ... as you most masterfully do ... you put it all into perspective.
Thank you.
Yes! Being all worried about tardiness when a date with death was averted! Well written!
Hugs
SueAnn
wow nicely done, as usual. Reminds me of the 911 stories about the people that over slept and were late for work... they were the ones that lived.
You are amazing (in case I haven't told you lately...)
Brian--I am in awe of your writing and am excited each time I come to your blog to see what you have written. This is no exception, again! I am a true believer in "there are no accidents in life". I think you are too by the sound of this!
You grabbed me with the title on this one...
The story is so very true as was shown in the many stories told after 9/11.
this is so so so well done Brina. you are a true writer. I loved every bit of the story that I'm not sure what is my fave here.
this part is one of the many that stuck out for me. Sn nicely put:
"and we found ourselves drifting off the road into the scrub, where highwaymen hide the bodies."
Great Magpie tale.
Well told. I try not to curse the slow person holding me up or the line of traffic or the extra red lights even when they are pressing me late. Just for that reason.
I love that scene. You have an excellent way with words.
Amazing writing. Thank you.
Enjoyed this one brian. Your childs voice is a good vehicle. Particularly liked the 'rubber teeth of the tire'. Some images just work don't they.
So beautifully written! As you say Brian, a flat tyre is but a small inconvenience. I believe ,as you do, that things happen for a reason.
My eldest son hates it when I say that but I do believe it to be true. I also believe that inner voice (intuition) should never be ignored, it's there for a reason.
You describe it so well, it reads like a voice over for the start of a movie. The conversational tone, lack of proper sentences etc all work wonderfully.
A perfect example of the fact that everything happens for a reason.;)
Your writing only gets better with time, like a great whiskey.;)
xo
Zuzana
You are always so CREATIVE with your words :-)
Lovely written today !!!!!
Never bemoan fate for it may your life that it is saving.
your descriptors are placed with such intentional nonchalance, unique and yet so oddly familiar.
even nails can be guardian angels.
Tales on Tuesday - Lost in Space
your descriptors are placed with such intentional nonchalance, unique and yet so oddly familiar.
even nails can be guardian angels.
Tales on Tuesday - Lost in Space
Nice story! :-)
well, this one went over like a lead balloon...lol.
Brian, Well done. I do find it interesting when using only 'lower case' how this work reads different in the mind. -J
There but for the grace of God...
and, yes, you can use the bathroom every 30 min., more than you want to know..
Great tale!
You crack me up. Ivory soap on a washcloth. Your mom was much too nice. My mom put the bar of soap in our mouths and made us take a bite. Yuck. It is good that you are reflecting on the timing of things in life. You just never know when your little detours in life are life savers in disguise.
I like the feel of this one, as seen through the eyes of a youngling. New sights seen, new experiences experienced, new lessons learned. Perhaps, too, a bit of innocence lost.
I've never heard the sound of a cat trapped in the box. Hold on a minute...
*here kitty kitty*
*scratch, scrabble, meowwww, scratch, scramble*
Nice sound, I like it.
Very good. Like always. You are such a wonderful writer : )
I love how your mind works.
haha. loved the reference to the moms making us wash our mouth with soap after the experiments with colorful languages :D
PS: can i borrow ur mind for a few days? man! u write awesome :)
I loved every bit of it...a great way to use the prompt....the ivory soap reference brought back memories of cousins who suffered the same from "improper use of language" my aunt said! Very well done...
brian you "nailed" this mate, well written, very good at these tales :)
As always, enjoyable post.
CJ xx
Incredibly powerful. Your story and your way with words.
Your words have enlightened, inspired and just plain touched me! Thank you!
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Your blog is really informative, I will be hanging around for awhile digging into archives.
So well written, like all of your writing. You are a genius with a pen, well, keyboard. A tale I enjoyed very much.
I got "pot holed" a few weeks back...
No On-Star?
Chevy Roadside service?
brilliantly written :D amazing phrasing of words :)
i agree with Lorenzo, that was a great line "we still heard dad teaching the lug nuts new vocabulary." you have a talented way of putting the reader right there in the story.
fate does seem to have its way sometimes...
i'm glad you're enjoying the change in pace...sometimes it's okay to free yourself from the norm. (usual writing patterns)
I used to wonder at the number of times my mother had to take a bathroom stop on road trips!
Brilliant bit "where highwaymen hide the bodies".
"the crunch of the tires in the dirt and stone signaled our return to the road, and as we crested the hill, blue lights greeted us, slow hands signaling us through the wreckage. faces pressed to the windows, life rolled in slow motion, etching our minds with pictures"
Good Morning, Brian:
I am with you on this vacation when I read your words, the anxiety, the mindset, the sound of the wheels, and the facial expressions of kids and adults alike, are all so vivid and fun...
thank you for taking reads into a adventurous vacation...you know all the elements in creative writing, which is impressive and incredible!
I have waited until i have the time and mood to read your post in great details and truly get into your story so that I give an authentic and responsive comment,
I enjoyed it, honestly,
and I have been in most of the moments in my own vacations...
cool post,
professional style!
Makes one wonder doesn't it? But I always wonder what the people in the wreckage are thinking, if nothing is random.
I have a laugh when I think about bathroom breaks in your post,
people are funny when they have some intentions hidden but act out on something different...
what humorous, educational, insightful and enjoyable post!
Happy Tuesday!
Happy Writing or blogging!
smiles!
I always read through twice, once just for the story, twice for the real meaning. Wonderfully written, as always.
I'm starting to wonder, unfortunately, what tragedies you haven't witnessed?
Oh, yes. A finely wrought parable.
You have a way of transporting me to another time and place with your writing. This trip was exceptional! Thank you.
Love the image of the mouth full of ivory soap...I have lived that image once before as a young lady.
A timely reminder. Very good.
Kat
Good grief...where highwaymen hide the bodies! I loved that!
You did such an excellent job of having the narrator recalling this incident from his youth
What I liked best was your ability to sustain the narrative with the present feeling of remembering surviving...make sense?
4 stars
Wow Brian! Every turn we take, every yellow light we stop for that someone else runs...it really can make a difference. Timing, fate in the hands of a nail?
Fabulously written!
And dang,Brian, from you that's a compliment...thanks
I love the way this piece opens Brian.
"we still heard dad teaching the lug nuts new vocabulary"
Of course, I love that too!
"nothing is random, not even the nails. sometimes i think about that."
Me too.
"the sound of a cat trapped in a box" yes, it does sound like that. I never thought about it before but yes it does. Made me think of the road trips with my family when I was a kid.
Sweet. I think we've all been in that packed car and thanked our lucky stars that we missed the frey through a twist of fate.
It's a great story now, but it must have been a real bummer back then.
btw...I always had to go...everytime.
How perspective changes when we have lost control!
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an award,
Happy Wednesday Ahead!
Love it. I think we all have one of those events, or even many little ones. I'm reminded of a stick that would have taken out my eye if I hadn't been moving at just the right speed or that stick had been a hair shorter.
I love the part where you talk of "...drifting off the road into the scrub, where highwaymen hide the bodies." Well done, Brian!
Memory lane, takes me back to trips in our family car. Your words are a visual treat for the mind.
I often think about what it was that made me just a little later when I come upon an accident.
Brian - a moment after which nothing was ever the same. I never tire of them. And life rolls on in slow motion. Beautiful. Again.
I want more! Where were they going? What did they do when they got there? You're a great story-teller!
For some reason it reminded me of No Country for Old Men (the book, not the movie).
Sometimes the troubles are really blessings in disguise.
I had to laugh. This reminds me of The Christmas Story. Great job as usual, Brian.
Amazing Brian, you are so talented. This piece was very visual for me, I felt like I was there. So true that, 'nothing is random' - nicely done! Thanks!
So evocative of all those long childhood journeys... and a narrow escape - lucky or not!
trust me: it is possible that your sister had to use the bathroom that often. I'm a hands-on expert on that matter and trust me...it is possible.
so if you are ever looking for me...post yourself at the bathroom exit and I'll show up after a few minutes :D
The prose is intensely personal which gives the words a direct conveyance. The last stanza portraits the child as philsopher, wise with the years now, in hindsight the real important issues come to light; being there at that moment with those you love is priceless. And so much more important than a flat tire cause by a nail. Love the verbage by the father; how I can relate!
"the interior decorating of the bathroom"-you are obviously a man. (Not that I was wondering about this).
So, are you writing about things that are meant to be vs coincidence? I wonder what about that all the time. I thought of how interesting it is that these little bumps in the road of life are what we remember.
btw. One time we had to pull over, and some scary guy DID pop out of the underbrush. Funny now, not funny then.
Very descriptive! But for some reason I am totally wanting to watch "A Christmas Story" now. :)
My dad teaches EVERYTHING his vocabulary. I love your stories!!
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