some memories are better
in black & white...
her hair blows
in the wind, glows
in the sun and her
laughter is magical.
her mom smiles
in the seat, miles
in the jeep and her
day is complete.
this is how i
imagine them before...
we pull her from
twisted metal, tires
still spinning, leaking
rainbow puddles in the
green grass, and she
screams
screams
screams
for her daughter
and when we find her
my breakfast comes in
thick sticky globules
at the edge of
the highway
because
she
felt too
constrained
in a belt and wanted
to breath free
momma
can't i
please?
no.
just say
no.
some memories are better
in black & white...
because it drowns
out the color...
For more takes on the theme, go see my friends at Theme Thursday.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
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118 comments:
Oh. So terribly tragic yet so beautifully penned. That's all I can say. Just, oh.
I like life in color even if the picture isn't so pretty. Great piece. Mine will go up later.
Beautifully written. Sad. :(
cool!
I was only on computer 15 minutes yesterday, did not see your comment,
sorry for missing you!
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/thursday-poets-rally-week-9-the-perfect-poet-award/
reminder!
Oh.dear.god.
I've put one too many children in the back of an ambulance, closed the doors and cried. You could have been a fly on the wall for those medic years, the way this one was written.
Oh man, that's horrible. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be that mother.
Your words captured the tragedy. You touched my heart. Very well written Brian even if so sad.
PG
moments of fear in the story,
but it is very compact and impressive!
Admirable job!
Hi! Brian,
Brian said, "my breakfast comes in thick sticky globules
at the edge of the highway
because she felt too constrained
in a belt and wanted to breath free..."
Safety Belt, Buckle-up!
There is a very valuable lesson
to learn here...
...Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
I hope this is not based in reality in any way. So tragic. Creates nightmares.
Oh Brian....this is so sad and gut wrenching!!So beautifully written!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Such a powerful piece. I agree. Some parts of life are better remembered in black and white.
I'll bet the color of this one lasted far too long.
how tragic, how vivid, and how a simple decision can change the life of so many.
you are powerful with the way you put you words together.
Oh dear! That is too sad! but also food for thought for many!
Oh.. Oh..
Amazing sad lines written ;)
(@^.^@)
Really moving and tells such a good tale in so few words. You capture it so well.
Brian, this is so sad...so very, very sad.
What an awful memory...black and white OR color...still stinks.
This was just to real for me my friend....your writing is great.
.........:-) Hugs
Very moving. Thanks
You just hit on my biggest fear...
well written but for the love of God don't get into my dark place again.. k.
gritty stuff, Brian. Hard to read, but true and marvelous.
This might be a really weird compliment but I wish when the time comes you could write my epitaph...like in 50 years, I hope!
You really catch the moment today.
♥namaste
awe sad piece Brian, sometimes black and white says it all.... good post mate :)
Sorry you had to see that. I have too many memories like that one. I never thought about picturing them in black and white.
WOW!!
Indeed.
Life is very black and white.
Choices.....
this one was a bad one and it ended up very bad.
Very good reminder, Brian...so sad, but true.
This was very very beautifully written, and truly sad as well!
What creativity, to create this from a breakfast prompt.
Really lovely work!
Tough and tragic, but fabulously written.
Well done Brian!
got it. just say no. very well put.
That is soooo sad. I had a very bad accident almost 12 years ago - it was a roll-over at 120 km on the highway. My 2 year old and 5 week old were both in the vehicle with us and we all survived relatively unscathed. I'm certain it was in part because of our seat belts. The other part was surely Divine intervention.
Sobering. You awaken me with your prose Brian.
You are amazingly talented.
That memory would be better forgotten entirely.
Startlingly sad, but brilliantly executed, Brian. Send an e-mail if you want to chat about writing. An e-mail is now on my profile page.
Even in black and white - so vivd. Tragic. Just tragic.
wow. well written, but you've probably struck fear in the hearts of moms everywhere. myself definitely included!
Oh Brian, this is a wonderful way to describe such a tragic event. And black and white is better, you are right about that. Bless your heart, you are doing such a good thing in your blog.
My 20 year old daughter was in a car accident today and the damage is enough for my car to be in teh shop the next 4-6 weeks. She walked out fine (only shaken up).
She wonders why I am not more upset. Because SHE is fine. Who ares about the car.
PS I put this under the sunset...
This is a good message, unfortunetly learned from a tragic event. Too sad to imagine.
"her mom smiles
in the seat, miles
in the jeep and her
day is complete."
great stuff Brian.
Wow, I didn't see this coming from you at a breakfast theme. Love the black and white line. I want to say nice take, but too disturbing! Well done :).
it is based on a real accident...very toned down actually...probably the most graphic thing i have ever seem..except maybe the crime scene class through the FBI...but as far as live event...it was horrible...one i dont think i could ever forget...
ugh...that mom has to live with that terrible decision...sad.
That needs to be a PSA!!!! It would make all parents refuse to start the car until everyone was buckled up!
Oh, Brian......
My TT is up now.
I’m up right HERE
That one should be published and shared! Very good.
Kat
Oh my goodness. This one hits close to home too.
What an awful moment in time. It will touch so many lives for so long. Sad.
perfect, the color is primal shock and danger. The nostalgia and detatchment of black and white, nice contrast and bold reality.
so sorry for the family and for you if this was non-fiction?
Oh Brian! This is just wonderful writing. I know that it is very sad and painful but it also needs to be written and that is what you have done. I also love black and white but not so sure about this scenario. If you had to see this, I am so sorry. There is a lot to be learned from her mistake though, isn't there! Never, never, leave your children without their seatbelts on. NO MATTER WHAT. You never know when an accident will occur and you live your life stuck in the past wishing you would have. The "what ifs" will eat you alive.
Our family knows these feelings all too well unfortunately. You captured the emotion perfectly.
the sadness will linger with me...real or created.
You write with real heart, Brian.
Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!
Comfort Spiral
"Nice" work and take on TT as usual, Brian. I never get tired of reading your stuff.
This is so sad, and wonderfully written. You can feel that mother's pain.
Oh... so powerfully written. So sad.
Brian, I was hoping this was one of your "10%" stories. But then I saw your comment that it was real. Dang....yeah, that's better in black and white.
Buckle Up!
Oh my gosh, this is terribly horrific (I am sorry) but so well done. "Drowning out the color"--whoa. how very well put and needed at times.
Beautifully written but I'm sorry to read in the comments that it's based on a true story. How heart-breaking.
jj
Oh. I got goosebumps reading that. And I cried too. I used to have good friends who on a trip to Disneyland with their car, allowed the children to take off the seatbelts and spread out. The daddy fell asleep and all but the baby still held in by the carseat died.
You have such a way with words. And I cannot stop my tears.
Brian, you just did a WOW piece.
So beautifully written.
How are you?
This post for the Rally too?
Did you know that I am now hosting a new meme?
Find out more Blog of the Week
Please join us for the WEEKEND FUNNIES.
Week #2 is this Friday to Sunday (March 26-29).
See you there?
hugs
shakira
Oscar Wilde-The IRISH Gentleman
ART OF GENEROSITY
its so so sad :(
That's a heavy (but well written) piece for the theme. Very tragic.
As always Brian, you play with our emotions like ..... well like a scary fun-fair ride. It can be disturbing in places but the overall experience is both memorable and somehow satisfying.
I'll go along with what Alan said...tho' I can relate to this (and not a good flash-back, either )...!
Brian are you OK? You're posting very dark and serious stuff these days? Well written I admit but an awful subject. Seat belts are compulsory here but people still choose to dice with death. Policing it is very difficult.
This is tragic and harrowing, but described with grace.
This is sad, but beautifully written. Great piece. Appreciated.
~warriorpoetess
this story is very sad.... :( but you wrote it in a way that takes me to the scene itself....
Your words are going to haunt my day, Brian. So sad, so very sad.
Ahi ahi ahiiii... thanks man for making this day suddenly dark and scary.
Beautifully penned though... damn it
Tend to send your kids away from being EMS techs. The stories are just like this.
baino...i have been trying to switch it up more of late with the style and tone...i will say i went through a rather tough patch recently...but honestly it was the first think that popped in my head and took off...and i had done a few happy posts and needed to bring balance back into the world. smiles.
choking
Man, I did not need to read this one today. Too powerful, too many scenes play before my eyes. I wish this one I could erase.
geeeeeezzzeeeee...
Just enough words to awaken a vivid picture that was gut-wrenching!
Beautifully written but unbearably sad.
This brought back memeories of my daughter and her horrible accident, though we were lucky, she wore her seatbelt.
So touching that I am at a loss for words here...Beautifully written...Have you published Brian??? You NEED to if not!
This is fantastic, Brian. Just say no.
I knew it was a real life event. Your words are more real than tv. Black and white or HD.
Beautifully written....
~Holly
Incredibly visual and gut wrenching.
Great stuff.
U have a wonderful way with words it was beautifully written.
I'm just going to recycle a past comment of mine because no other words can describe your writing, Brian.
"Absolutely Amazing!"
Ya got me. I can't even imagine the horror.
My kids fought me on a LOT of things, but luckily not the seatbelt. Thank God.
That certainly is an unexpected take on breakfast.
Wow!
Hi Brian:)
I was enjoying the beauty and happiness of the first few lines and trying to imagine the lovely photo you have so vividly painted. But within seconds, you turned my thoughts and feeling upside down by painting a gruesome picture of the accident. From happiness and joy to horror and shock. Amazing word pictures.
Also a lesson to all parents who are careless about fastening the seat belts on their chilren.
Best wishes Brian:)
Joseph
i always leave your bloghome with feeling, insight, emotion -- this time i leave with chill bumps and tears.
Black and white or color...the images here are heart breaking but so well written.
wiping the tears from my eyes. Moving very moving
Ouch that paints a painful picture but its so beautiful written. Powerful and expressive.
Make it a day that will bring you many smiles! :)
Yikes... this is not a pretty breakfast... have a great day Brian
:) The Bach
Interesting. I´ll have to check Theme Thursday out next week! :-)
good memories are indeed meant to be held and cherished; painful memories are meant to be taken as life's meaningful yet often inexplicable lessons that build us into the people we are today.
you write stunning stories in your poetry, however tragic they may be ~ a crushing piece, beautifully written.
tragic...
Hello,
how are you?
hope that things are better for you,
please let me know the poet you would like to nominate for week 10,
referring to the perfect poet award...
thank you,
happy Thursday!
102 comment
This is gut wrenching. Even in black and white, it's painful.
this is very good to see - and thank you for your good wishes about my new books
Great poem that it is I never leave here disappointed that I dont. Thank you for the nomination and the best of luck to ya.
thank you for the nomination!
see you later soon!
cheers, ;)
you are the best!
Amazing. So much said in so few words. And the balck and white layer really completed it.
Been to too many of these scenes as cub reporter. Images are in my mind in black and white forever.
Absolutely gut-wrenching.
in certain things we should not indulge our children.
T 13 - Magical Creatures
This is one reason I don't work as an emt or in the ER. Some resraints are better for everyone
wow. very moving and powerful...
This just leaves me sick to my stomach and not because the writing is bad, but because it is so good. :( Every parent's nightmare.
Ohhh Brian ... such a terrible, terrible tragedy! Wouldn't it be lovely if God made us with ' erase buttons' or even better 'rewind buttons' to undo such terrible events! If only!!!!
beautiful poetry and meaningful
awful Brian
awful in import, excellent in execution
So beautiful!
What an awful moment in time. It will touch so many lives for so long. Sad.
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