Wednesday, March 17, 2010

breakfast comes

some memories are better
in black & white...

her hair blows
in the wind, glows
in the sun and her
laughter is magical.

her mom smiles
in the seat, miles
in the jeep and her
day is complete.

this is how i
imagine them before...

we pull her from
twisted metal, tires
still spinning, leaking
rainbow puddles in the
green grass, and she
screams
screams
screams
for her daughter
and when we find her
my breakfast comes in
thick sticky globules
at the edge of
the highway
because
she
felt too
constrained
in a belt and wanted
to breath free

momma
can't i
please?

no.
just say
no.

some memories are better
in black & white...
because it drowns
out the color...

For more takes on the theme, go see my friends at Theme Thursday.

118 comments:

5thsister said...

Oh. So terribly tragic yet so beautifully penned. That's all I can say. Just, oh.

Susan said...

I like life in color even if the picture isn't so pretty. Great piece. Mine will go up later.

Mighty M said...

Beautifully written. Sad. :(

Jingle said...

cool!

I was only on computer 15 minutes yesterday, did not see your comment,
sorry for missing you!

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/thursday-poets-rally-week-9-the-perfect-poet-award/

reminder!

Titanium said...

Oh.dear.god.

I've put one too many children in the back of an ambulance, closed the doors and cried. You could have been a fly on the wall for those medic years, the way this one was written.

BenjiMester said...

Oh man, that's horrible. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be that mother.

Prayer Girl said...

Your words captured the tragedy. You touched my heart. Very well written Brian even if so sad.

PG

Jingle said...

moments of fear in the story,
but it is very compact and impressive!
Admirable job!

Who Is Afraid of Tim Burton? Two?... said...

Hi! Brian,
Brian said, "my breakfast comes in thick sticky globules
at the edge of the highway
because she felt too constrained
in a belt and wanted to breath free..."


Safety Belt, Buckle-up!
There is a very valuable lesson
to learn here...
...Thanks, for sharing!

DeeDee ;-D

Tabor said...

I hope this is not based in reality in any way. So tragic. Creates nightmares.

slommler said...

Oh Brian....this is so sad and gut wrenching!!So beautifully written!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Meeko Fabulous said...

Such a powerful piece. I agree. Some parts of life are better remembered in black and white.

Ronda Laveen said...

I'll bet the color of this one lasted far too long.

Lisa said...

how tragic, how vivid, and how a simple decision can change the life of so many.

you are powerful with the way you put you words together.

Katherine said...

Oh dear! That is too sad! but also food for thought for many!

Anya said...

Oh.. Oh..
Amazing sad lines written ;)


(@^.^@)

Madame DeFarge said...

Really moving and tells such a good tale in so few words. You capture it so well.

Jill said...

Brian, this is so sad...so very, very sad.

What an awful memory...black and white OR color...still stinks.

Bernie said...

This was just to real for me my friend....your writing is great.
.........:-) Hugs

dustus said...

Very moving. Thanks

McGillicutty said...

You just hit on my biggest fear...

well written but for the love of God don't get into my dark place again.. k.

Tom said...

gritty stuff, Brian. Hard to read, but true and marvelous.

Kim A. said...

This might be a really weird compliment but I wish when the time comes you could write my epitaph...like in 50 years, I hope!

You really catch the moment today.

♥namaste

william said...

awe sad piece Brian, sometimes black and white says it all.... good post mate :)

Cop Mama said...

Sorry you had to see that. I have too many memories like that one. I never thought about picturing them in black and white.

darsden said...

WOW!!

The Retired One said...

Indeed.
Life is very black and white.
Choices.....

this one was a bad one and it ended up very bad.

Very good reminder, Brian...so sad, but true.

Bernadine said...

This was very very beautifully written, and truly sad as well!

What creativity, to create this from a breakfast prompt.

Really lovely work!

Christina said...

Tough and tragic, but fabulously written.

Well done Brian!

Kay said...

got it. just say no. very well put.

Felicitas said...

That is soooo sad. I had a very bad accident almost 12 years ago - it was a roll-over at 120 km on the highway. My 2 year old and 5 week old were both in the vehicle with us and we all survived relatively unscathed. I'm certain it was in part because of our seat belts. The other part was surely Divine intervention.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Sobering. You awaken me with your prose Brian.

Eva Gallant said...

You are amazingly talented.

secret agent woman said...

That memory would be better forgotten entirely.

e said...

Startlingly sad, but brilliantly executed, Brian. Send an e-mail if you want to chat about writing. An e-mail is now on my profile page.

Monkey Man said...

Even in black and white - so vivd. Tragic. Just tragic.

Jaime said...

wow. well written, but you've probably struck fear in the hearts of moms everywhere. myself definitely included!

TechnoBabe said...

Oh Brian, this is a wonderful way to describe such a tragic event. And black and white is better, you are right about that. Bless your heart, you are doing such a good thing in your blog.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

My 20 year old daughter was in a car accident today and the damage is enough for my car to be in teh shop the next 4-6 weeks. She walked out fine (only shaken up).

She wonders why I am not more upset. Because SHE is fine. Who ares about the car.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

PS I put this under the sunset...

LadyCat said...

This is a good message, unfortunetly learned from a tragic event. Too sad to imagine.

Liza said...

"her mom smiles
in the seat, miles
in the jeep and her
day is complete."

great stuff Brian.

She Writes said...

Wow, I didn't see this coming from you at a breakfast theme. Love the black and white line. I want to say nice take, but too disturbing! Well done :).

Brian Miller said...

it is based on a real accident...very toned down actually...probably the most graphic thing i have ever seem..except maybe the crime scene class through the FBI...but as far as live event...it was horrible...one i dont think i could ever forget...

Betsy said...

ugh...that mom has to live with that terrible decision...sad.

CottageGirl said...

That needs to be a PSA!!!! It would make all parents refuse to start the car until everyone was buckled up!

Marla said...

Oh, Brian......

Susan said...

My TT is up now.
I’m up right HERE

Kat_RN said...

That one should be published and shared! Very good.
Kat

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Oh my goodness. This one hits close to home too.

Magpie said...

What an awful moment in time. It will touch so many lives for so long. Sad.

Dianne said...

perfect, the color is primal shock and danger. The nostalgia and detatchment of black and white, nice contrast and bold reality.

so sorry for the family and for you if this was non-fiction?

Teri said...

Oh Brian! This is just wonderful writing. I know that it is very sad and painful but it also needs to be written and that is what you have done. I also love black and white but not so sure about this scenario. If you had to see this, I am so sorry. There is a lot to be learned from her mistake though, isn't there! Never, never, leave your children without their seatbelts on. NO MATTER WHAT. You never know when an accident will occur and you live your life stuck in the past wishing you would have. The "what ifs" will eat you alive.

R.J. Edwards said...

Our family knows these feelings all too well unfortunately. You captured the emotion perfectly.

jaymiethorne said...

the sadness will linger with me...real or created.

Cloudia said...

You write with real heart, Brian.



Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!


Comfort Spiral

Tracy said...

"Nice" work and take on TT as usual, Brian. I never get tired of reading your stuff.

PattiKen said...

This is so sad, and wonderfully written. You can feel that mother's pain.

LadyFi said...

Oh... so powerfully written. So sad.

Matty said...

Brian, I was hoping this was one of your "10%" stories. But then I saw your comment that it was real. Dang....yeah, that's better in black and white.

Buckle Up!

Mmm said...

Oh my gosh, this is terribly horrific (I am sorry) but so well done. "Drowning out the color"--whoa. how very well put and needed at times.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Beautifully written but I'm sorry to read in the comments that it's based on a true story. How heart-breaking.

jj

Angie Muresan said...

Oh. I got goosebumps reading that. And I cried too. I used to have good friends who on a trip to Disneyland with their car, allowed the children to take off the seatbelts and spread out. The daddy fell asleep and all but the baby still held in by the carseat died.
You have such a way with words. And I cannot stop my tears.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Brian, you just did a WOW piece.
So beautifully written.

How are you?
This post for the Rally too?

Did you know that I am now hosting a new meme?

Find out more Blog of the Week

Please join us for the WEEKEND FUNNIES.
Week #2 is this Friday to Sunday (March 26-29).
See you there?

hugs
shakira

Oscar Wilde-The IRISH Gentleman

ART OF GENEROSITY

Chhaya said...

its so so sad :(

VE said...

That's a heavy (but well written) piece for the theme. Very tragic.

Alan Burnett said...

As always Brian, you play with our emotions like ..... well like a scary fun-fair ride. It can be disturbing in places but the overall experience is both memorable and somehow satisfying.

subby said...

I'll go along with what Alan said...tho' I can relate to this (and not a good flash-back, either )...!

Baino said...

Brian are you OK? You're posting very dark and serious stuff these days? Well written I admit but an awful subject. Seat belts are compulsory here but people still choose to dice with death. Policing it is very difficult.

anthonynorth said...

This is tragic and harrowing, but described with grace.

ithoughtitup said...

This is sad, but beautifully written. Great piece. Appreciated.

~warriorpoetess

ishabellemanalo said...

this story is very sad.... :( but you wrote it in a way that takes me to the scene itself....

Valerie said...

Your words are going to haunt my day, Brian. So sad, so very sad.

Eleonora said...

Ahi ahi ahiiii... thanks man for making this day suddenly dark and scary.

Beautifully penned though... damn it

the walking man said...

Tend to send your kids away from being EMS techs. The stories are just like this.

Brian Miller said...

baino...i have been trying to switch it up more of late with the style and tone...i will say i went through a rather tough patch recently...but honestly it was the first think that popped in my head and took off...and i had done a few happy posts and needed to bring balance back into the world. smiles.

Goofball said...

choking

Daniel said...

Man, I did not need to read this one today. Too powerful, too many scenes play before my eyes. I wish this one I could erase.

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

geeeeeezzzeeeee...

Just enough words to awaken a vivid picture that was gut-wrenching!

Barry said...

Beautifully written but unbearably sad.

Mama Wheaton said...

This brought back memeories of my daughter and her horrible accident, though we were lucky, she wore her seatbelt.

JStar said...

So touching that I am at a loss for words here...Beautifully written...Have you published Brian??? You NEED to if not!

Mama Zen said...

This is fantastic, Brian. Just say no.

Ocean Girl said...

I knew it was a real life event. Your words are more real than tv. Black and white or HD.

Holly said...

Beautifully written....
~Holly

California Girl said...

Incredibly visual and gut wrenching.
Great stuff.

AIRIA ART and PHOTOGRAPHY said...

U have a wonderful way with words it was beautifully written.

Realliveman said...

I'm just going to recycle a past comment of mine because no other words can describe your writing, Brian.

"Absolutely Amazing!"

Alix said...

Ya got me. I can't even imagine the horror.

My kids fought me on a LOT of things, but luckily not the seatbelt. Thank God.

Christine H. said...

That certainly is an unexpected take on breakfast.

Poetikat said...

Wow!

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Brian:)

I was enjoying the beauty and happiness of the first few lines and trying to imagine the lovely photo you have so vividly painted. But within seconds, you turned my thoughts and feeling upside down by painting a gruesome picture of the accident. From happiness and joy to horror and shock. Amazing word pictures.

Also a lesson to all parents who are careless about fastening the seat belts on their chilren.

Best wishes Brian:)
Joseph

Jessie said...

i always leave your bloghome with feeling, insight, emotion -- this time i leave with chill bumps and tears.

Janice said...

Black and white or color...the images here are heart breaking but so well written.

Gladys said...

wiping the tears from my eyes. Moving very moving

Rajlakshmi said...

Ouch that paints a painful picture but its so beautiful written. Powerful and expressive.

Luisa Doraz said...

Make it a day that will bring you many smiles! :)

Bachelor said...

Yikes... this is not a pretty breakfast... have a great day Brian
:) The Bach

evalinn said...

Interesting. I´ll have to check Theme Thursday out next week! :-)

samanthayeh said...

good memories are indeed meant to be held and cherished; painful memories are meant to be taken as life's meaningful yet often inexplicable lessons that build us into the people we are today.

you write stunning stories in your poetry, however tragic they may be ~ a crushing piece, beautifully written.

faery of the wilds said...

tragic...

Jingle said...

Hello,
how are you?
hope that things are better for you,
please let me know the poet you would like to nominate for week 10,
referring to the perfect poet award...

thank you,
happy Thursday!
102 comment

Unknown Mami said...

This is gut wrenching. Even in black and white, it's painful.

Dean J. Baker said...

this is very good to see - and thank you for your good wishes about my new books

Shoeless said...

Great poem that it is I never leave here disappointed that I dont. Thank you for the nomination and the best of luck to ya.

Jingle said...

thank you for the nomination!
see you later soon!
cheers, ;)

you are the best!

Tracey said...

Amazing. So much said in so few words. And the balck and white layer really completed it.

Corrie Howe said...

Been to too many of these scenes as cub reporter. Images are in my mind in black and white forever.

The Silver Fox said...

Absolutely gut-wrenching.

Nessa said...

in certain things we should not indulge our children.

T 13 - Magical Creatures

Dreamhaven said...

This is one reason I don't work as an emt or in the ER. Some resraints are better for everyone

rxBambi said...

wow. very moving and powerful...

susan sonnen said...

This just leaves me sick to my stomach and not because the writing is bad, but because it is so good. :( Every parent's nightmare.

Katherine said...

Ohhh Brian ... such a terrible, terrible tragedy! Wouldn't it be lovely if God made us with ' erase buttons' or even better 'rewind buttons' to undo such terrible events! If only!!!!

sewa mobil said...

beautiful poetry and meaningful

lettuce said...

awful Brian

awful in import, excellent in execution

gayle said...

So beautiful!

sewa mobil said...

What an awful moment in time. It will touch so many lives for so long. Sad.