Thursday, March 11, 2010

55 - street rhythm

clack
clack
clack
her third leg beats
with the
shusch
shusch
schuch
of soft bottom brown shoes
scratching along the sidewalk.

oh the things she's seen
at eighty three, as
she looks down,
hunched over,
not weak;
her strength,
she still
keeps rhythm,
shusch
shusch
clack
shusch
shusch
clack
as she heads
down the street.

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

Nothing amazingly deep this week, keeping it light hearted and fun. Just an older lady that made me smile, still going strong after all the years.


Thanks to Jingle and my friends at the Poets Rally, for the week 8 award. I nominate Megzone, for keeping it fun yesterday.

113 comments:

staceyjwarner said...

Loved this...I love old people...we'll all get there someday if we are lucky!

much love

Susan said...

I love watching people as well and imagining what their story is. Excellent 55. I'm up too :) Grab a tissue, you might cry :P

Lorenzo at the Alchemist's Pillow said...

Perhaps not amazingly deep you say, but you're deeply amazing all the same. Coincidentally, my mother-in-law turned 91 today and she is still clacking and shusching in rhythm

Sherry said...

My grandfather lived to be 100 and he was still playing the violin and on his computer! Your 55 made me think of him!

TechnoBabe said...

Love it! Third leg indeed. Older people are getting shoved out of the way, their brains are still working but maybe their bones are fragile and they can't move as quickly as people want them to. But they would have such wonderful stories to tell if only people would slow down and ask them to tell their stories!
Really nice 55.

Wings said...

Sweet.

otin said...

Paints a perfect picture of a little old lady with her cane!

g-man said...

Very Sweet Brian...

You always see the beauty in Life!

You are a good man, and a talented writer...Thanks

Have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Jingle said...

wow,
a story about 83 year old lady,
very campact and intense, yet it is fun and enjoyable!

thank you for the award acceptance,
it looks absolutely amazing!
cheers,

Brian Miller said...

otin, its no where near as deep as yours...you put me to shame this week...

Daniel said...

Wonderful and uplifting today. Just what I needed!

She. More than a pronoun. said...

Going strong is always an inspiration... good for Her!

CottageGirl said...

You captured her perfectly ... I think I know her!

Words are all around, Brian, but you have that special way of putting them together. Wonderful story!

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

I like this one! In fact, I think I have seen this woman ... that's how telling your description is.

BART’S HEART – OVER THE MOON

Kulio said...

I love that she's still strong though bent - that is cool, I can see her. :-)

Peter Stone said...

Great! Just because some one has aged it does not mean they are weak. The third leg is a walking stick?

My 55 is School Lunch

5thsister said...

Oh, at first I thought bag lady, formidable survivors they are. I recognized the cane and the gait. Even if this was just and elderly woman who caught your eye, it was deeply moving.

Jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/55-when-i-turn-on-my-pc/

I tried Flash Friday 55,
will try story next time!
Happy Friday!
Best wishes.

Prayer Girl said...

I love your light-hearted and fun 55. Made me feel light and breezy.

PG

THE BEATY said...

ha ha this one was awsome

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

You are such a wonderful story teller, Brian.
Amazing and vivid.


Mine is up WHEN WILL IT END?

Happy 55!

You deserve a FANTABULOUS weekend!

hugs
shakira

Dorraine said...

This reminded me of Mrs. Doubtfire. Oh, she was no lady, but did wear those heavy shoes.

This was clickity clackity great!

Kim A. said...

I want to be that lady. I will be wearing a funny hat and have a twinkle in my eye. I loved it today!!

Namaste

Cloudia said...

Aloha from Hawaii my young Friend!


Comfort Spiral

Velvet Over Steel said...

Aww.. very sweet! Brings back memories of my great-grandfather. :-) ~ Coreen

She Writes said...

Her strnegth still keeps rythm-Nice

Alice Audrey said...

What great imagery! Nicely done.

Tongue Trip said...

and made me smile too. your economy of words and texture is always amazing.
yeah, been away, computer issues mainly.

Tracy said...

This is great. My 85 year old Mother is visiting me this week. So appropriate, Brian!

Chhaya said...

this one put a smile on my face :)

Janna said...

I like it!
Actually, it sort of reminded me of myself. Even though I'm only 40, I have health problems and sometimes need a cane to get around too.
Very well done. :)

Thanks for doing Friday 55!
My own is posted right here.

clean and crazy said...

awesome a sweet use of 55 words, we do not see them enough and we should pay attention to them more. the older folks in our society are after all, those who came before us

Monkey Man said...

This hits really close to home as I watch my mother shuffle along with a walker she has had less than a week. My 55 will be HERE after midnight Pacific time.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey, I have a 100 year old guy friend who's looking for a date. Maybe your lady friend.....
:-)
jj

Matty said...

Gotta love those spry old ladies.

järnebrand said...

What a sweet picture of a little old lady with a cane... :) Nice 55.
/Jo.
I am up too. :)

Maha said...

Very hopeful, I loved it!!

anthonynorth said...

Great imagery in this. I sometimes get the feeling I'm getting old.

Protege said...

I loved this as I often think about old age these days. It is funny when I was young, it was so far away. Not any more.
I hope though I will be too going strong once that time comes and can entice a young mind as this lady did with yours.;)
Great sentiment.
Have a lovely Friday Brian,
xo
Zuzana

Alan Burnett said...

Love it. And with only 55 words you managed a 26 line poem : that seems to be creating a lot with a little to me.

Shadow said...

funny how we automatically assume old = frail...

Ocean Girl said...

Otin saw the cane. And you understood his 13.5%.

I, I love old people.

Vodka Logic said...

I did pause at third leg.. ah but to read on and understand.. well done

slommler said...

I could see her walking down the street! Strong and determined...grabbing onto life and holding on! Well done Brian
Hugs
SueAnn

sheila said...

I hope I'm slushing at that age. :o)

ishabellemanalo said...

this reminds me of my grandmother... bless her soul! :)

Jessie said...

you have a real connection with those you watch -- people, nature, everything.

this is really cool. i think you could either do a follow-up, or make it longer -- there's some depth, words unspoken, waiting to be set free.

humbly,

Goofball said...

I hope she keeps that strength still a long time

Harnett-Hargrove said...

I so love the sounds people make, and the idea that they may not realize it.
-Jayne

darsden said...

Awesome 55 !!!

Liza said...

"her third leg beats"

I love this piece Brian.
Well done.

The Retired One said...

Yes, Brian!
I have seen her many, many times at the Assisted Living facility where I was the Administrator....
not to mention the scrape,wheel, scrape of her walker-companioned buddies.
Loved this one.

Cop Mama said...

I love this. It reminds me of my grandma in her stronger days.

Have a good weekend!

AmyLK said...

This is cute!

Hootin' Anni said...

...and I hope she continues with her strength...AND will!!!

Have a great weekend, and thanks for visiting today.

Valerie said...

I could SEE this old lady and I could hear the walking stick strike the ground with each shuffling step. Wonderful.

Mr. Stupid said...

Enjoyable post. Loved it. It reminded me of my Grandfather. I loved him very much...:)

Have a good day!

Akelamalu said...

It's great when really old (I say really old because although I'm 60 I don't consider myself old)still manage to get about. My Dad's 85 and is still digging the garden!

Nicely done! :)

Buzzard said...

You certainly know how to paint a picture with words.

My 55: A Familiar Face

Jingle said...

I hope that you enjoy a beautiful Friday!

Anya said...

Lovely words Brain
you are really talented :-)

Have a relaxing weekend
(@^.^@)

Sam!! said...

Lovely post Brian.. Thanks!!

Blessings!!
Sam..

JennyMac said...

that award is perfect for you.

LadyFi said...

Love the energy of this old woman!

Magpie said...

Wonderful snapshot in words...

mama-face said...

for a minute there I thought you'd seen me out for my morning run. I'm not quite 83 though.

Barry said...

Although I mostly only have the sounds to go by, I have a surprisingly clear image in my head of what this woman looks like.

Of course it may not match your image at all.

megzone said...

awwww...thanks Brian... that was really reallyy sweet of you.. :)
thank you sooooo much..
and yes i shall definitely try a story in 55 words ;)
thanks for the idea brian :D

Yvonne said...

Oh the things she's seen...
And I can see her in her soft brown shoes. Good imagery. And congrats on your Perfect Poet Award. Very nice.

william said...

lol fun poem Brian, and congrats on your award :)

Mona said...

Rhythm of the life is more like a routine that you become comfortable in!

Jadey said...

What a great picture you have painted here of the elderly lady who just keeps going I love it cause it shows she still has spunk and there is life to be lived. My 55 is up. TGIF

Nessa said...

You gotta just admire people that keep on keepin' on.

Flash 55 - Avian Love

Nancy said...

At least she still heading down the street, right? Beautiful picture.

lime said...

this was so wonderful. when i see an elderly person moving along slowly i often wonder about all the history they carry along with them.

California Girl said...

nice job, brian. visual and audial images. you deserve an award.

buffalodick said...

I wish I had a cane today! Went down three steps last night!

Mama Zen said...

Nicely done, Brian!

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

I really should try to write your style of
writing....very vivid, great job....

EXCELLENT 55!

Happy 55!
Happy Friday Follow!
Happy Round Robin!
Happy Friday Family!


Have you a ROCKING and SEXY WEEKEND!

hugs
shakira

FLASH FRIDAY-WHEN WILL IT END?

WITH KAJ TANG-REN LINEHAN

Susan at Stony River said...

What a beautiful picture this painted! I love her already, and wonder if she might have been a dancer years ago, or a girl singer in a jazz band, or remembering who knows what or whom...

Excellent! thank you for the smile on my face!

Ariel said...

What vivid description you have here Brian! Enjoyed reading this.

secret agent woman said...

Not deep, perhaps, but definitely rich.

PattiKen said...

Very good! It takes conscious effort to see beyond the "old" surface to the person within, still young and vibrant and wishing someone could see them.

Luisa Doraz said...

Are you always soooo creative? lol Have a great weekend! :)

Jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/12/thursday-poets-rally-week-9-the-perfect-poet-award/

I hope I did not bother you much!
Happy Week 10 ahead!

Lulda Casadaga said...

Ah, we should be so lucky!
Keep on truckin granny...:D Have a great weekend.

Kay said...

nothing deep, but oh-so-sweet and mighty darn observant

Rain said...

Your post has a musical quality about it, I was signing alone as I read the words! Great! :)

Mighty M said...

It's great! My grandma will be 91 this month, and twice a week she puts on her cute workout clothes and goes to the gym for a session with the trainer - she LOVES it! :)

Nara Malone said...

Great rhythm and imagery.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

My dearest Brian

I am humbly inviting you and your friends to join me in a new meme that I have just created called,
W33K3ND FUNNI3S!


Please join me at W33K3ND FUNNI3S-THE CONFUSED CHINESE

Your friendship and participation is highly appreciated.

hugs
shakira

SandyCarlson said...

I enjoyed that. Sweet. I can see that intrepid matron making her way--happily--down the road.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Most of my friends are old people.

Great post but how do you keep up with all of these comments. You're a blog ROCK STAR!

Hope you and your lovely family have a wonderful weather weekend.
:)

Donnetta Lee said...

I love old people, too. Especially since I'm getting closer and closer to being one!! Ah, we all travel down that path sooner or later. If we are lucky...D

Byz. said...

Brian, you do have a fascinating style of writing...I always enjoy it immensely. This one is particularly easy to visualize. :))

Thanks for visiting.

Eaton.

KB said...

I feel about 100 years old today...I can relate!

Leslie said...

Love the sound effects with the elderly. Working with the elderly I can so relate to the cadence of the cane or the walker. Nice one my friend

Ronda Laveen said...

Loved the sounds you used to describe her walking.

Kaylen said...

Very nice! This makes me think of the 94 yr old I've been giving a ride home lately...she said that sometimes she doesn't find a ride and just walks...it's 5 miles to her house. On a dark road. With no sidewalks.

She's so strong in spirit even though her body is starting to fail her.

Tamarind~ said...

I could hear the clack clack..! This reminded my my grandmom.

Susan said...

Looks like I'm your 100th again, I see. I think I should win a prize or something. What? Wait, no you should, for this lovely poem. Sweet image. Very nice.

Jingle said...

Thank you for the vivid picture if your story, I mean i can see the lady alive in your words.
it reminds me of my own grandmothers who lived from 1909 to 1993.
Happy Saturday!

Jingle said...

Best wishes!
You rock!

hope said...

Since I work with Senior citizens this one really made me smile! I even have one who comes through the door with her walker, then parks it so she can "move faster". :)

Have a great weekend!

lady macleod said...

I can't do it. I can only appreciate. Poetry is such a unique art form. I'm a storyteller - an entirely different thing.
Lovely.

JML said...

Brian, this was great! I worry about old people and frankly, sometimes they scare me. But you took all of that out with this one!

Wonderful!

A.Decker said...

I like your 55. Good job.
And congrats on the award!

Ms.Daisy said...

Love your style! I'm enjoying reading all the 55's...yours stands out!

Pat said...

Great visualization here. I see a few of these people here in this "55 and over" park. Most old people are very, very nice, but there are a few who would rather beat you over the head with their cane than use it to walk! LOL!

quilly said...

Perfect. I just returned from a women's retreat and I met the spunkiest octogenarian and I have a feeling, cane or not, she could have run circles around me had we been on level ground rather than a moutain side campground!

Unknown Mami said...

First of all: holy crap you have a lot of comments!

I see many women like that where I live.

Jen Chandler said...

I love this, Brian. Reminds me of my grandmother. At 86 she's still going strong!

Hilary said...

Wonderful as always. I guess we all know or have known someone who perseveres this way.