somber,
a line of cars,
lights on,
stream
passed me
on their way
to the cemetery,
a small face in a rear window
smiles;
i wonder if he knows
something we
don't.
what can you say in 160 character? (spaces included) go see Monkey Man.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
85 comments:
Nice touch with the "I wonder if he knows something we don't". I wonder too ...
I hope he does. Maybe, it's just something we've forgotten.
You can always say so much in so very few words.
I hope he does.
Short and bittersweet.
the little ones usually know lots that we don't. or that we've forgotten.
it just got me thinking as they drove passed...easy to say its ignorant bliss that allows him to smile while everyone else is sad...i dont like settling for the easy answers though...
I think he does. I agree with Unk. Mami..we have just forgotten :-D
Namaste
So few words to paint such a clear and vivid picture.
I think he definitely knows something we don't! :)
I love life's mysteries. (Smiles)
I love life's mysteries. (Smiles)
i remember when my oldest saw Ts mom in the funeral home and called her sleping beauty...sorry, this one just ran rampant in my mind on how we handle and process death. it was not supposed to be sad...
this reminds me of a movie called phantasm when the old guy drives around inthe hearse smiling at everyone, great poem mate :)
I think that kids notice and know a lot that we lose sight of as we become adults. Great piece :)
I just doesn't matter whether you have 160 characters, 55 words or 50 pages to read ~ I cling to every letter you pen. Great job (am I beginning to sound monotonous?) :-)
~Karis
It really forces you to choose your words carefully. Great one!!
I hope he wasn't looking at me.
Sometimes kids feel a peace when someone they know passes on and the kids are happy for the person. You might be onto something here. Kids are very intuitive.
I think children know what we have forgotten with age. Their souls that much closer from being recently in God's hands, probably "remember" that there is a much larger picture.
i like that thought lisa...
I tried Sunday-160,
hope that i did well!
Happy Sunday!
I know I can't say much! It's enough for me to keep my comments down to 160 at times. This is beautifully crafted as are all your poems :) keep em rolling
I hope that he knows that he means a lot to her...
Grandest wishes!
Maybe he believes what we are told.. the dead is a peace and do not want us to suffer that they are gone. (hugs)
I love this one by the way..
Loved Lisa's comment. Great job, Brian.
I love the turn at the end, from somber to speculative.
You threw in the "twist line" as always and one's imagination can run with that last line.....:-)Hugs
Perhaps kids don't see death as the end of something, since as adults we tell them about a better place.
oh boy! ain't that the truth. terrific line
As soon as I read the first three words: somber, a line of cars...I knew you were going to say a funeral procession...the surprise was the boy's smile.....
very intriguing piece, Brian...I hope he does know something we don't.
Nice surprise!
Hugs
SueAnn
Love little faces in the rear window.
A thought provoking 160. Thanks for your consistant participation, Brian.
Nice. Love it.
I believe they do, Brian. I want to find my way back to knowing now what I knew then.
Wonderful poetic image; it touched me.
Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!
Comfort Spiral
Very touching, Brian.
Hope you have a happy week. It snowed again here today. Ugh.
Maybe he sees exactly where the the other soul is heading...
About how long does it take you to be this wonderfully creative? Such talent.
our words bring smiles to us all and we appreciate your kindness! :)
He sure does. Children know more than we know
only...they don't know that they know...
My Dad never knew any of his grandchildren having died a year before the first one was born. Hours after my second son was born, he had such a grin (sure, you can call it gas) pass through his face which made him look almost identical to my Dad. He resembled him anyway, and for that moment he held his mischievous grin. I think they know something we don't.
i agree with the first comment by lorenzo... the last three lines were really very striking... :)
I love the way you find a moment in time and can describe the way you see it, with such an ease and simplicity. Yet with depth.
;)
xo
Zuzana
It's as if you were provided a subtle reminder that hope can spring from even the saddest of situations; it starts out small and then grows.
I loved this. Kids know a lot that we have forgotten. They are so much closer to Nature, I think. A lot of us adults are just... off...
A lot said using very few words - well done! /Jo.
mmmm, makes me think of 'ignorance is bliss' but in a really nice way...
Either that or he really does not comprehend what is really happening.
Life goes on...kids will smile, the sun will come up, we will awake the next day...
Scary stuff!
I always get chocked up when passing a funeral procession. It's so sad to think that someone is is pain at that moment when I'm hurrying home or running to get milk. What makes me mad is the people who don't respect that line of cars like their day is so busy that they can disrespect the sorrow. Sad.
I wonder about that smiling face as well.
Lovely 160.
You have been writing from your heart lately.
Good for you.
hugs
shakira
Kids do know more than we know...They are closer to the "unknown", more than we know...My youngest used to wave in the sky at my brother, and now she speaks of him as if she really knew him...He died days after her 1st birthday...
Nice take on a dark theme.
A little creepy as this left me thinking if the person who passed was truly evil.
It would quite something to get inside the mind wouldn't it.
CJ xx
He knows now...but will he remember later in life? Ponderous...
You never cease to amaze me. I don't know if you do blog awards but I have one for you anyway!
I loved that, the small face is sublime.
intriguing
It does make you wonder, doesn't it? :)
I think it's the last of his childhood innocence. It's a thoughtful poem, Brian. I like it.
Children have the gift of innocence...
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/1731/
week 8 perfect poet award,
happy Monday!
And everyone else the procession thinks the kid doesn't know something that they do.
Crisp and crunchy. Well written.
... ah yes - the back story is always a mystery and always intrigues.
Perhaps he doesn't know anything yet..
Really, really amazing.
that is so concise! so well done. I just keep using the same adjectives over & over. i guess because you do these short words & letters poems.
Hi! Brian,
Wow...Now, this is a very curious piece...Thanks,
for sharing...
...Brian said,"a small face in the rear window smiles..."
Hmm...I'am wondering why?!?
DeeDee ;-D
Interesting and profound.
Kat
very profound Brian!
I wonder if he knows something we have forgotten?
loved your ending. thanks for the wonderful comment.
smiles,
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/live-for-what-you-believe/
Shakira told me a link about how to count characters, thus I tried again!
a small face in a rear window
smiles;
I like this part the best!
your story has enormous room for imaginations, it is short, but amazingly beautiful!
I wonder what's happening in the end, which is magical to ponder or expect...
Yeahhhhh.....
You did it again :-)
Lovely lines written !!!!
Don't they all?
Nicely done.
Well done. I've seen those lines of cars too often and every now and then a face peeks out. I'll think of this the next time it does.
Hope your week is good.
jj
Maybe the child was looking at his elephant. :)
What if he just has the face of innocence?
This feels very eerie ...
Children no it's never the end.
T13 - Kindle Krazy
Post a Comment