Sunday, March 7, 2010

160 - welcome home

somber,
a line of cars,
lights on,
stream
passed me
on their way
to the cemetery,
a small face in a rear window
smiles;
i wonder if he knows
something we
don't.

what can you say in 160 character? (spaces included) go see Monkey Man.

85 comments:

Lorenzo at the Alchemist's Pillow said...

Nice touch with the "I wonder if he knows something we don't". I wonder too ...

Unknown Mami said...

I hope he does. Maybe, it's just something we've forgotten.

Tracy said...

You can always say so much in so very few words.

She Writes said...

I hope he does.

Wings said...

Short and bittersweet.

Jaime said...

the little ones usually know lots that we don't. or that we've forgotten.

Brian Miller said...

it just got me thinking as they drove passed...easy to say its ignorant bliss that allows him to smile while everyone else is sad...i dont like settling for the easy answers though...

Kim A. said...

I think he does. I agree with Unk. Mami..we have just forgotten :-D

Namaste

Eva Gallant said...

So few words to paint such a clear and vivid picture.

Rain said...

I think he definitely knows something we don't! :)

Ronda Laveen said...

I love life's mysteries. (Smiles)

Ronda Laveen said...

I love life's mysteries. (Smiles)

Brian Miller said...

i remember when my oldest saw Ts mom in the funeral home and called her sleping beauty...sorry, this one just ran rampant in my mind on how we handle and process death. it was not supposed to be sad...

william said...

this reminds me of a movie called phantasm when the old guy drives around inthe hearse smiling at everyone, great poem mate :)

Susan said...

I think that kids notice and know a lot that we lose sight of as we become adults. Great piece :)

Chef Kar said...

I just doesn't matter whether you have 160 characters, 55 words or 50 pages to read ~ I cling to every letter you pen. Great job (am I beginning to sound monotonous?) :-)

~Karis

JML said...

It really forces you to choose your words carefully. Great one!!

Matty said...

I hope he wasn't looking at me.

TechnoBabe said...

Sometimes kids feel a peace when someone they know passes on and the kids are happy for the person. You might be onto something here. Kids are very intuitive.

Lisa said...

I think children know what we have forgotten with age. Their souls that much closer from being recently in God's hands, probably "remember" that there is a much larger picture.

Brian Miller said...

i like that thought lisa...

jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com said...

I tried Sunday-160,
hope that i did well!
Happy Sunday!

doubtfulpoet said...

I know I can't say much! It's enough for me to keep my comments down to 160 at times. This is beautifully crafted as are all your poems :) keep em rolling 

jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com said...

I hope that he knows that he means a lot to her...
Grandest wishes!

Ms Hen said...

Maybe he believes what we are told.. the dead is a peace and do not want us to suffer that they are gone. (hugs)

Ms Hen said...

I love this one by the way..

only a movie said...

Loved Lisa's comment. Great job, Brian.

SUSAN SONNEN said...

I love the turn at the end, from somber to speculative.

Bernie said...

You threw in the "twist line" as always and one's imagination can run with that last line.....:-)Hugs

Mama Wheaton said...

Perhaps kids don't see death as the end of something, since as adults we tell them about a better place.

Tom said...

oh boy! ain't that the truth. terrific line

The Retired One said...

As soon as I read the first three words: somber, a line of cars...I knew you were going to say a funeral procession...the surprise was the boy's smile.....
very intriguing piece, Brian...I hope he does know something we don't.

slommler said...

Nice surprise!
Hugs
SueAnn

Vodka Logic said...

Love little faces in the rear window.

Monkey Man said...

A thought provoking 160. Thanks for your consistant participation, Brian.

Respectfully Yours said...

Nice. Love it.

Marla said...

I believe they do, Brian. I want to find my way back to knowing now what I knew then.

Cloudia said...

Wonderful poetic image; it touched me.



Aloha from Hawaii my Friend!


Comfort Spiral

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Very touching, Brian.

Hope you have a happy week. It snowed again here today. Ugh.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Maybe he sees exactly where the the other soul is heading...

Magpie said...

About how long does it take you to be this wonderfully creative? Such talent.

luisa said...

our words bring smiles to us all and we appreciate your kindness! :)

Mona said...

He sure does. Children know more than we know

only...they don't know that they know...

Hilary said...

My Dad never knew any of his grandchildren having died a year before the first one was born. Hours after my second son was born, he had such a grin (sure, you can call it gas) pass through his face which made him look almost identical to my Dad. He resembled him anyway, and for that moment he held his mischievous grin. I think they know something we don't.

ishabellemanalo said...

i agree with the first comment by lorenzo... the last three lines were really very striking... :)

Protege said...

I love the way you find a moment in time and can describe the way you see it, with such an ease and simplicity. Yet with depth.
;)
xo
Zuzana

My name is PJ. said...

It's as if you were provided a subtle reminder that hope can spring from even the saddest of situations; it starts out small and then grows.

järnebrand said...

I loved this. Kids know a lot that we have forgotten. They are so much closer to Nature, I think. A lot of us adults are just... off...
A lot said using very few words - well done! /Jo.

Shadow said...

mmmm, makes me think of 'ignorance is bliss' but in a really nice way...

otin said...

Either that or he really does not comprehend what is really happening.

Gillian said...

Life goes on...kids will smile, the sun will come up, we will awake the next day...

Tamarind~ said...

Scary stuff!

sheila said...

I always get chocked up when passing a funeral procession. It's so sad to think that someone is is pain at that moment when I'm hurrying home or running to get milk. What makes me mad is the people who don't respect that line of cars like their day is so busy that they can disrespect the sorrow. Sad.

I wonder about that smiling face as well.

Sh@KiR@ CK said...

Lovely 160.
You have been writing from your heart lately.
Good for you.

hugs
shakira

JStar said...

Kids do know more than we know...They are closer to the "unknown", more than we know...My youngest used to wave in the sky at my brother, and now she speaks of him as if she really knew him...He died days after her 1st birthday...

Daniel said...

Nice take on a dark theme.

Little Ms Blogger said...

A little creepy as this left me thinking if the person who passed was truly evil.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It would quite something to get inside the mind wouldn't it.

CJ xx

subby said...

He knows now...but will he remember later in life? Ponderous...

5thsister said...

You never cease to amaze me. I don't know if you do blog awards but I have one for you anyway!

mo.stoneskin said...

I loved that, the small face is sublime.

Goofball said...

intriguing

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

It does make you wonder, doesn't it? :)

CherylK said...

I think it's the last of his childhood innocence. It's a thoughtful poem, Brian. I like it.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Children have the gift of innocence...

jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/1731/

week 8 perfect poet award,
happy Monday!

Alice Audrey said...

And everyone else the procession thinks the kid doesn't know something that they do.

nsiyer said...

Crisp and crunchy. Well written.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

... ah yes - the back story is always a mystery and always intrigues.

buffalodick said...

Perhaps he doesn't know anything yet..

Mama Zen said...

Really, really amazing.

California Girl said...

that is so concise! so well done. I just keep using the same adjectives over & over. i guess because you do these short words & letters poems.

Who Is Afraid of Tim Burton? Two?... said...

Hi! Brian,
Wow...Now, this is a very curious piece...Thanks,
for sharing...
...Brian said,"a small face in the rear window smiles..."
Hmm...I'am wondering why?!?
DeeDee ;-D

Poetikat said...

Interesting and profound.

Kat

Liza said...

very profound Brian!
I wonder if he knows something we have forgotten?

Jessie said...

loved your ending. thanks for the wonderful comment.

smiles,

jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/live-for-what-you-believe/

Shakira told me a link about how to count characters, thus I tried again!

jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com said...

a small face in a rear window
smiles;

I like this part the best!
your story has enormous room for imaginations, it is short, but amazingly beautiful!
I wonder what's happening in the end, which is magical to ponder or expect...

Anya said...

Yeahhhhh.....
You did it again :-)
Lovely lines written !!!!

The girl with the flour in her hair said...

Don't they all?

Nicely done.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Well done. I've seen those lines of cars too often and every now and then a face peeks out. I'll think of this the next time it does.

Hope your week is good.
jj

Mighty M said...

Maybe the child was looking at his elephant. :)

blueviolet said...

What if he just has the face of innocence?

C said...

This feels very eerie ...

Nessa said...

Children no it's never the end.

T13 - Kindle Krazy