Thursday, February 18, 2010

55 - superficial (snikt, schup, click and sigh)

silver razors
slide sharply
(snikt)
releasing love letters
bills or
correspondence,
discarded neatly
(schup)
in wicker baskets
by her Lay-z-boy.

some say
she's crazy,
collecting
only the envelopes,
like facebook friends,
(click)
in brown
cardboard boxes,

but they
keep her insulated
(sigh)
on cold
winter nights,
talking to them
about things
they won't
even read.

Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try, or just read more, go see g-man.

108 comments:

Tom said...

takes one to know one.

unusual, freaky!

Titanium said...

What is it with the freaky ones? *grins*

Mine is up.

TechnoBabe said...

Hey I get it. Envelopes show they came from all over and that way a person can pretend what was in them, and can change the imaginary contents each time you play the game.

lakeviewer said...

This is quite intriguing. We might just see 55 words epics become "de rigeur:.

5thsister said...

You know what I like about your work is that you each post is unique in and of itself...you cannot be pigeon holed and no one can call you predictable.

Susan said...

I am still thinking this one over. I will be back to see where it takes me on a second trip.
I'm up right HERE

Wings said...

I don't know what to say. Guess everyone has their quirks.

slommler said...

This one really makes one think. I like TechnoBabe's take on it!
You are good!!
Hugs
SueAnn

Mighty M said...

I tend to be a mail keeper too...although not to that extent I think.

William Manson © 2010 said...

LOL I am like that, I keep everything, but now and again have a clearout lol, nice poem mate,I nominated YOU this week for rally Thursday, have a great day.

Brian Miller said...

5th sister...yeah, i try not to get placed in a category. this one is just poking a little fun...relationships are not baseball cards to be appreciate for the pictures or size of the collection, but something much deeper....though i do like techno's interpretation.

speaking of techno...she has a rather fun poem on her post today, you should go check it out.

tom, so true...

titanium..are you grinning at me...i dont collect envelopes. smiles.

Six Feet Under Blog said...

This was interesting..

The Retired One said...

I liked imagining on this one's meaning and it took me in a couple different directions...
you know, at our house,we take the envelopes to burn in our woodstove for added heat along with all our our "burnables"...

Ronda Laveen said...

Hey! I know that woman! Really!

otin said...

saves the envelope, throws away the contents? lol

Monkey Man said...

Bet she collects cats too. My 55 will be HERE after Midnight Pacific Time. Come see what's up.

Enchanted Oak said...

This sounds like my demented mother. She doesn't even save the whole envelope, just snips out the return address itself. Saves those.
Why did you title it "superficial"?

Alice Audrey said...

Sounds like my grandmother, who filed AARP ads with the tax returns.

Peter Stone said...

Collecting only the envelopes? That's weird, though I like the conclusion, that she can talk to them envelopes about stuff they'll never read, since they're empty now.

My 55 is Meandering Streams

G-Man said...

We all have our 'Thing' don't we?
Excellent 55 Brian.
Many interpretations can be read into this post.
Thanks for this thoughtful story My Friend, and please have a Kick Ass Week-End...Galen

Tracey said...

No wonder you have almost 400 followers.

You have a way with words that leaves me thinking...

You ROCK!
Green-Eyed Momster

Bernie said...

Now this 55 has me thinking why she would keep the envelopes, perhaps technobabe is correct....wasn't quite sure where you were taking me here.
I think that is what I like about your writing, I never know what to expect......:-) Hugs

sarah said...

strange and wonderfully weird.

Sherry said...

That was excellent - "fakebook friends"!

Tracie said...

I've been known to throw checks away. But that was an accident.

jake (to the) holla said...

nice wolverine SNIKT! i didnt scroll through the comments... i wonder if anybody caught that reference to the adamantium-enhanced Canuck

AmyLK said...

interesting and unusual.

lisleman said...

you are much better with words than I am. If you have a minute browse over to my place and offer a suggestion. We need to name something.
thanks

Marla said...

I have no idea why this one made me laugh. Maybe my inner brain is smarter than I am.

jaymiethorne said...

Love the alliteration on this...echoes off the walls of a mostly empty room.

tori said...

I was thinking along the lines of technobabe...that she was imagining better things inside the envelopes...making her world a little more pleasant (sigh)

Devika said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Devika said...

Had to wonder what you could be talking about :)

wishes,
devika

Janna said...

Interesting and freaky.
I love the four "sound effects" that are included. They help complete the picture somehow.

Thanks for another Friday 55!
You can find mine posted right here.

KB said...

Yikes! this sounds like a future KB lady. Great job as always.

smarmoofus said...

I love the onomatopoeia-ness of this... it's very tactile. I can picture her in her recliner. Personally, I think she is slightly on the crazy side, but if she's happy, I'm happy.

I'm up!
-smarmoofus

Dr. J3kyll said...

I have something for you, Brian, when you get a moment to swing by. I'm still trying to get up the time and focus to produce a 55, but for now, have a good Thursday :D

http://drj3kyll.wordpress.com/2010/02/18/melodic-ostentation-flavors-for-friends/

/hugs
The "Good" Doctor

Mr. Stupid said...

Another wonderfully unique post. Loved it Brian...:)

Mrsupole said...

I read a sadness into this, that a person is so alone, she needs to have make believe friends, while having no real friends around her. That her friends are just names on a computer or just names on an enevelope, but no friends to come visit or brighten up her life.

God bless.

Buzzard said...

Oh yea, eccentricity at its best.

Thanks for the comment on my first try, I certainly appreciate it.

Right Here

Terrace Crawford said...

I love a good 55. Brian, you just knock 'em out of the park.

--Terrace Crawford
www.terracecrawford.com
www.twitter.com/terracecrawford

Kathy's Klothesline said...

I burn my discarded mail in the winter and "bury" it in the summer. Wonder what someone would think if they watched me save it in the old pool chemical bucket?

OMG ...... my kids are right I AM peculiar!

jingle said...

leave the content for imaginations, cool act!
loved it.

jingle said...

Happy Friday!
Smiles!
;)

Larry said...

Nice brian I like it as usual nice 55 I look forward to reading you again.


Romance In The Air


Thanks for the comments you all leave on "This Blog Of Mine" I appreciate
the time and effort it takes to visit each blog and leave the comments, I
have to express how much I appreciate them and each and every one of you


Thank You Larry.

ishabelle said...

such a well-written 55!!! this one's for you... thank you for always taking the time to visit my blog... :)

http://ishabellemanalo.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/the-spotlight-award/

anthonynorth said...

There's a sadness to this one. Excellently done, though.

Protege said...

This spoke to me. I collect envelopes from the letters and packages that my Irishman sends me. They do speak to me actually, the handwriting does...
This was so beautiful, almost made me cry...
xo
Zuzana

Goofball said...

I hope she dares to leave her comfort zone one day, take some risk and start living instead of being stuck in her safe imaginary world of fake relationships

Shadow said...

your imagination is superb!

Chef Kar said...

This has been me from time to time I think. A life of isolation does lead to some unusual behavior. Think I'll get out and take a walk now (better grab that damn umbrella..again).


I'm up:
Friday Flash 55 ~ Know

Sam!! said...

I would call it a unique piece of writing.. thanks Brian.. :))

Take care,
Sam..

SandyCarlson said...

This really is the Facebook world. A postage-stamp-sized image, no pretense of depth, but always the tantalizing possibility of real people. What a way to insulate from disappointment. I really liked this, Brian.

the walking man said...

Yes! Seems to be a bit of FB protest going through the blog world this week. Stop them from sending me hearts hugs and requests for mafia money, I have no eggs or pearls from the farm to give.

Hootin' Anni said...

I'm picturing a homeless one....with the 'insulating' of envelopes and all. But, I think I'm way off from what you're conveying this time.

TIGER TEARS is my 55 this week.

Nessa said...

I can visualize and audioalize (?) this so well.

Inspiration

ShAKirA CHOONG said...

Oh dear, I used to collect stamps.
I used to keep all my pen pals'
letters all stacked up in their envelopes
as I treasure the friendship.

However, I did not feel how you painted it,
I was always SO HAPPY. lol

Have a great weekend, Brian.
You ROCK!

Mine is up

http://justmeshakirack.blogspot.com/2010/02/flash-friday-55-have-you-ever.html

hugs
shakira

Dulce said...

Sorry? What did you say?
I love the sounds you make evry now and then, that gives it a more senseless sense and essence!

sheila said...

There will be more to this right? :) Because if not, this is a sad lonely lady.

jinksy said...

Personally, I find backs of used envelopes the perfect place to write new poems on! They tend to inspire me...

Daniel said...

Kinda neat post today. Took it on a couple of different levels.

JStar said...

When I grow up, I wanna write just like you :) This is a great one Brian! I need to expand my poetry as well to other topics than love and pain :)

My 55 is up, but you already commented :)

RNSANE said...

I wish I'd get a love letter!! Unfortunately, all my correspondence falls in the bill category! And, now, with this push for eco friendly most everything comes and goes via email. It's mostly junk mail that arrives from the mailman and I toss that without opening.

I loved your poem, though!! You always write so well!

järnebrand said...

I love how you tell this story and how you use the sounds. It's a sad story though. I feel sorry for her. Sometimes I feel a little bit like her too. Like I'm not really connected to my "real" life.
I just posted a new 55 on my blog. How to produce a link to go there is not something I seem to manage, however. Anyone curious, you are more than welcome to visit www.jarnebrand.blogspot.com
(I hope it was ok I took up this space in your comments area, Brian...? :))
/Jo.

Ocean Girl said...

How true! The used envelopes are like Facebook friends. You collect them but you don't read their content.

Kim A. said...

She forgot to take her meds. Been there. :-D

Freaky 55 for a Freaky Friday.

Namaste

Akelamalu said...

We recycle all our envelopes but if one had SWALK (Sealed with a loving kiss) on the back I would keep it! :)

Great 55 Brian. :)

Jessie said...

i have some pretty weird images going through my mind right now ... lol

very well done!!!

have a warm weekend with lots of smiles,

PattiKen said...

Geez, there must be something in the air...

I really liked this!

(BTW, did you know my step-mother? No? Then how'd you know about the basket of envelopes near her favorite chair?)

Shas said...

Wow! brilliantly written. This is something new that i came across.

Magpie said...

The first verse is so my Mom!!! She lives for the daily mail delivery. It doesn't matter what it is...just so she gets to open mail.

Your work keeps tempting me to try this...

Doctor FTSE said...

You're pushing the 55 envelope(s) again, Brian!
Bien fait!

Dorraine said...

We all have our quirks. She does sound a little wacky, though, which makes it all the more interesting. Nice job, Brian.

The Girl From Cherry Blossom Street said...

We seek comfort in things and places that are familiar to us.
I can relate to that need.
(no, not envelopes ;-)

Great 55!

quilly said...

So I find myself wondering who is sending her love letters? Surely it is someone just as odd as she?

http://quilldancer.com/2010/02/19/55-flash-fiction-friday/

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

An extremely deft 55!

Never mind the format. This is poetry, the real deal.

Kay said...

(smirk) clever...i like her!

buffalodick said...

Interesting...

Thom said...

Too each his/her own. I liked this one. Well done as usual :)

Captain Dumbass said...

Snikt. Crazy is relative.

LadyFi said...

Intriguing and masterful writing!

Tammy said...

Absolutely love this! So creative!

jingle said...

http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/02/19/thursday-poets-rally-week-6-purrfect-poet-award/

two nominations for u,
one from Sam,
another one from William.

happy for week 6 Perfect Poet Award.
Happy Weekend!
Best.

Mama Zen said...

This is heartbreaking!

Barbara said...

Please don't let me end up like that.

schererart said...

We all collect something don't we, strange or not?

This woman is kind-of "me" :):(

Nice read.

Yankee Girl said...

I have seen this 55 words thing around lately. It's a pretty cool way to tell a story!

Anya said...

Unique words :-)
Love it !!

Have a wonderful weekend

Kareltje =^.^=
Anya :-)

Madame DeFarge said...

I can't remember the last time that I got a proper letter. Emails just don't feel as special.

blueviolet said...

I have no clue what you're talking about here! Is she shredding stuff? LOL

♥ Braja said...

I loved this Brian....

secret agent woman said...

That strikes me as sad.

Alicia said...

Nice work on this one! I especially love all the sound effects.

Here's my 55.

Prayer Girl said...

Sometimes talking to empty envelopes in brown cardboard boxes can be as refreshing and life energizing as any conversation with a person could be.

BECAUSE - - -

Sometimes God is hiding there in those boxes when I'm not aware of it.

Wonderful 55.
PG

Yvonne said...

A cool 55.

I like "collecting envelopes like facebook friends"

People are so connected and have so many friends don't they? All so cold on winter nights....

Have a great weekend!

William Manson © 2010 said...

thanks for the visit Brian, to be honest I forget who gives me the awards, by the time I get around to them I have to check all the posts lol, its just polite to post them and respect the person who nominated you... like yourself,I tend to only give one away to a person rather than 7 because we are running out of names lol, have agreat weekend mate and please please pick up your special friend award from me and pass it to one of your friends who has been there from the start.. the link is just under the main links box..under awards :)

Mona said...

That is neat & very well done. Is that one about Beyonce? :)( I mean there iseems to be a pun on J Z )

CottageGirl said...

I think I've been her at one time in my life ...

Maggie said...

I think at one point we all collected, did or made someting obsessively!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Great 55. This one gave me a lot to think about.... then I read the other 99 comments.
Have a fun weekend Brian.
jj

Betsy said...

I like the sound effects the best! :)

Nancy said...

I'll have to think on this one for awhile.

Michele said...

Another great one!!

Love this post idea ;)

Eternally Distracted said...

I think I am going to have to read this one again... and again until I get it!

lettuce said...

i particularly like this one
nice alliteration and a great little portrait

Tina said...

Brian, you are so good. This is your 106th comment on this post. Very successful, my friend!

mama-face said...

facebook friends-haha.

LOVE the title. (and the poem :) )

sam silva said...

Cool poem. I don't know how you manage it, but you pull it off every time!