rocky road ice cream melts
in thick brown puddles, soaking
deep in the carpet
by the chaise lounge
where she lies in
sexy lingerie, dozing,
dreaming of prince charming,
as he sends one more email
from a desk miles away
picking at cold noodles
in a styrofoam container,
oblivious to flowers wilting
from loves inattention.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.
Just a few days until Valentine's Day, but why wait. Tend your flowers, like you want them to live!
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123 comments:
Finally first one here. Loved it.
God bless.
Oh, boy. That one is locked and loaded. Inattention is the bane of love's existence.
Well done, Brian.
She should have sent him an e-mail reminder.
I’m up right HERE
Okay, have read it five times and I think I get it. It goes back to your Simple Things post about working too hard and not really paying attention to what is important in life.
Very important lesson here.
God bless.
And am I second?
See you have to be oh so quick here with you. LOL
Bummer about the carpet and the wasted lingerie.
Perfect, really hits home for so many of us. We all need to tend to our flowers.
Hmmmm - 'flowers wilting from love's inattention' - love and life wilt, as well, from inattention.
What a wordsmith you are Brian!
lol mrsu...you crack me up!
amen. this one touched a nerve far too close to home so i'm not really gonna say all i want to say about it. but well done, brian. you always manage to bring issues so eloquently to the fore...
Ice cream and sexy stuff in the same post? Wow, you have my attention.
Oh boy, don't even mention Valentine's Day, much less the other 364 days of the married year.
Your wife's one of the lucky ones, I bet.
Great 55!
What you express here is capable of killing even a love between 'soul mates'.
But I also believe in the saving grace of God.
PG
How you can say so much with so little, I will never know. It's a gift. And you've surely got it.
Put up the computer and go to bed!
Yes, tend the flowers. Maybe you could give lessons to some men. My hubby doesn't need lesson though. Smile.
Loved it the 55. "Tend your flowers, like you want them to live!" - loved that too.
Um, as much as I love my ice cream, never in sexy lingerie...won't even shave my legs for a Reese's Cup! :)
lingerie and edibles...you have my attention! Great pre-valentine day reminder. Thanks Brian for all your love and support, and wonderful comments. You rock :o)
You post at FOUR?
Anyway...She just doesn't seem to feel the passion does she?
Excellent story Brian!
Thanks for your continued support, much obliged.
Smokin 55 Brotha, please have a Kick Ass Week-End....G
Very Good message..
Remember that song by Cat Stevens.. about the father too busy for his son; and than when the son gets older.. he is too busy for his father.
Cat in the Cradle.. (maybe before your time.. ) .. showing my age.. lol.
Great 55. I'm going to go write mine.. almost forgot.
g-man...for some reason my blog is on another time zone...just add 3 hours and you got me...i dunno. i am tech stupid sometimes.
So much said in so few words. Lovely piece.
Ow, that hurts. Hope the guys wakes up to what he's missing before it is too late.
My 55 is here
Don't forget to do a little plowin' too.
This is excellent, Brian. Will have to find out more about the 55...
such a wasted opportunity.
such a wasted opportunity.
Well, I guess he can just bloody well clean that friggin' carpet when he gets home then, the jerk!
You got a lot outta those 55 today, Brian.
You do so well in telling a whole story in so few words. Great job, once again Brian! The Bach
wow you are good at these mate, powerful little story in small amount of words..
makes me thankful for my attentive hubby. :)
Woo-hoo, somebody's running a little surveillance on the half-naked chick. Videocams are good for stuff like that. Bad boy.
;-)
Ugh! Decadent imagery here. All for naught!
I'm all about the rocky-road and lingerie. Buying both AND the flowers for myself this year :-) Nice 55, as always Brian.
I'm up here: Friday Flash 55 ~ The Gift
You sure can paint a picture with such few words! Wow!
Well, I would have cried...but still eaten all the ice cream. LOL!
Can't let a bowl of rocky road go to waste!
You work me up and then drop me like a cheap suit. I love it.
Very appropriate with the upcoming Hallmark holiday. How many people will be left sitting, waiting, anticipating on the 14th ? How many chocolates will melt and flowers wilt? Glad my husband and I agreed long ago to boycott the Valentine's Day hoopla and be loving and caring 365 days a year.
Sounds messy, fun, but messy.
Kat
Dearest Brian,
Such vivid narration.
I love it.
Indeed, tend to your flowers,
for they may be oblivious
from loves inattention!
Happy Valentine's Day!
hugs
shakira
true truuue!!!
Loved it Brian!!! Well said!
Hugs
SueAnn
Good one, Brian...these days women are more hooked up with emails, than flowers...i too think :)
wishes,
devika
As usual, a great post....in 55. Great love needs tending. My 55 is HERE.
Pow!
Priorities people.... lingerie & ice cream.... next time leave work early
You had me at Rocky Road ice cream..
melting ice cream, lingerie and cold noodles--hey now....cupid definitely missed this house..nice work --now go make some reservations for dinner and buy some flowers for the light of your life--enjoy! c
Dearest Brian,
Got a FABULOUS AWARD just for you!
Come over and claim it!
http://justmeshakira.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/some-fabulousity-from-jingle/
hugs
shakira
Wow, talk about slaps! You've definitely got your finger on a sensitive issue, there...but the man who sees an obstacle avoids it, ja?
If only we all, men and women, shared that same level of perceptiveness. Thanks for showing it, Brian :)
Great 55.....love shouldn't be wasted.......:-) Hugs
I totally dig this.
How can she waste the ice cream like that? Silly wench....
Cold noodles are about the saddest food there is.
Second only to melted ice cream, of course.
That is a rather sad flash 55 - poor girl, didn't even finish her ice cream, either, or so it seems.
That's the story of so many people.
It is as if you became psychic and described my life. Well, at least almost.;))
Have a wonderful Friday,
xo
Zuzana
Good post. Sad story. Poor girl. And poor guy, having cold noodles... How depressing. Great 55.
I'm off to tend my flowers..if hubby doesn't buy me some..I'm going to buy myself some!! Just for you...
Have a lovely Valentine's Day Weekend.
Namaste
Lovely images and wonderful advice.
Flash 55 - Priorities
Flash 55 - So Sorry
Maybe the flowers were poison ivy to begin with! (Can you tell that I am a little jaded? LMAO)
Brian....I see a complete and sad woman here...trying to find love. Sad, sad.
My 55 "I Want No Flowers on My Grave".
[scroll below my show n tell as always]
Happy Valentine's Day Weekend!
I think she should at least finished her ice cream.
dreaming of prince charming, fine....but don't let your ice cream melt on the carpet!! Especially not if prince charming is ignoring her anyway
you just keep getting better and better.
Amazing imagery as always, Brian :)
Ever think about directing?
Intensely beautiful, this painful thought. Cold noodles in styrofoam box
Sounds like the last decade of VDay's for me....Hopefully that will change this year...
Two different worlds, two different sets of truths. One wonders why the other is so inconsiderate and so focussed on work. The other works to provide for the family. Both have good intentions, but hurt and pain and misunderstanding still result.
E-mail? From mere miles away?
What an ass.
All flowers wilt, enjoy them while they are fresh then press them in a book for memory's renewal of how we got to be old together.
That is magnificent Brian, no temper tantrums from you, just beauty, and more beauty...I love what you wrote here!
Inattention is the bane of romance!
The noodles in the styrofoam got me.
Brain, you always have the coolest 55s!
mine is up too.
We all miss the obvious at times. You stated this so well!
If I were her, I'd scoop up the dirty ice cream, serve it to him wearing flannels... just before she sends him roses upside down in a jar of mud :)
Effective writing. Well done.
We take much for granted...
Oooo, good one! I'm sure she'll give up on the ice cream and start looking for alternatives soon.
Ooh, risque!
This one turned me on a little...and I'm talking about the ice cream!
Hmmm.....
Okay, for the umpteenth time and reasons I think I'll pass and watch
"Godfather".
Fab 55!
Poor flowers! :(
excellent valentine poem mate, well written as always :)
Preach it, Brian!
Wonderful Happy Valentine's day to you and your wife!:)
lovers are apart,
but bless their heart,
they reunion
in their imagination...
love is in your finger tips,
u write about love,
dream about love,
wishing u a fancy love gift on Sunday!
enlightening love post!
i enjoyed yesterday's post too. i saw how many comments you had and thought, why leave one? you already know i like your writing. but when you combined ice cream (rocky road) and lingerie, i had to comment. i hope you have a follow-up to this one...
Again... that was awesome!
Nobody writes like you, my friend!
Edible lingerie?
His inattention could lose him his flower!
Great stuff Brian. :)
Great post Brian! Good message too! :)
That would involve me getting flowers first . . . LoL! :)
Oh Rocky Road is one of my favorite ice creams. Thanks for stopping by and playing along for my Round Robin. I hope you had fun.. Happy Valentine's Day...
Hi Brian,
Nice to meet you. Thanks for visiting me. You have one amazing blog! Love this....picking at cold noodles in a syrofoam container. And I like how your title adds punch.
really like the contrasting images of the woman and the man but not sure you need the image of the flowers at the end. i'd end with the noodles in the container, a much more unique image :)
Hi Brian -
Thanks for the nice comment, but I'd say your's is very hot and steamy!
Too bad my husband doesn't read your blog.
Just kidding.
Sort of.
Yep. Better keep those flowers watered or one day you'll come home to an empty pot.
So sad. Reminds me of internet love. Always unrequieted.
I read the first line and started daydreaming...that line evoked many memories for me.
For some reason I thought I already followed you, but I kept looking for you in my reader and you weren't there. You are now. Have a great weekend. Do not let any flowers wilt from loves inattention.
Ooooo...nice one, Brian.
(Where is my husband, anyway???) lol
I know you wouldn't forget.
Have a great weekend. :)
Very NICE!
You could have called this one: Anatomy of a Marriage with Children. 'cause that's just what happens!
Another fantastic 55!
I actually got out of the house today. So tomorrow I may be able to tend to my flowers...and my little buds.
Thanks for linking to my Thursday Tackle.
Gosh, I sure can relate to this one.
Oh, I like this...it raises all sorts of questions. Why was he eating cold noodles when he could be with her. Is she the flower wilting from lack of attention. Niiiice write, Brian. :)
Inattention and taking people for granted spell disaster for relationships.
Great writing.
romance needs careful attention sometimes
ha and some funny comments!
Ah, the trials of a long distance relationship...
Brilliant 55 as usual. You write so well. Have a great weekend :)
Wow! Quite the mental image that one!
Hope your love loves you back on Valentine's Day. :)
I have run out of words to describe your great poems. visual as always.
Well said. Love is something we do, something we show up for. It is so much more than a concept or intention.
brian, once again, you have written an amazing poem... :) there's so much lesson in it... :) im trying not to make that mistke in life... :)
Once again ...we make it our own!!
Loved it!
What a great one, it is easy to forget the ones closest :)
thanks for stopping by, new follower :)
Wow. Absolutley amazing. And in so few words too. I liked it a lot.
Oh this was just beautiful.Your wife is a lucky girl.How nice to have someone you love write poetry for you,beautiful!
VERY touching post
but its the truth .....
You have a golden heart !!!!!
Anya
I smiled and loved the title of this one, Brian...!!!!
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