Twitching, fingers massage the tender skin beneath his eyes, willing them to stay open. Stray hairs poke from his pale cheek, pestering the palm of his hand back to its place of duty, ever back. Air rushes from deep within, his soul gasping for that last breath, spilling deathbed confessions until the cup runs empty, clattering on the hard floor.
How long have I been here?, marks on the sidebar, chiseled by his torn fingernails, highlighted in crimson smears, speak to his longevity. One more mark, he scratches across another four.
Soft blue light cast shadows across his sunken eyes, brightening the chains that bind him ever more. Escape...maybe a thought one day, but no more. Fresh air thoughts make his stomach churn, yearning once more for what made him feel...again.
Shifting weight, circulation returns to forgotten nether regions bringing prickles to dance along nerve endings. Wrapping the cord around his arm, he prepares the drug, heating it, giving it form.
Click, clack, click, clack....
Sometimes I write because I am afraid of what happens in the silence afterward...
Drawing his finger to the plunger, he feels its texture, thinking to himself about what comes next. Feelings flooding him after...a slow pressure applied, eyes rising to look deep into his skull, leaving him a limp rag doll in the chair. Quickly he pushes and...
Your post has been published.
Fact.
Fiction.
Only you can determine...
For you.
Remember to live so your have something to blog about, not the other way around.
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93 comments:
before anyone starts commenting about not leaving...i am not going anywhere...its just a story right?
blogging is not addictive, right?
smiles.
Blogging is absolutely not addictive. No, it's not. No. I don't have a problem. What? No I don't! I'm fine. Just leave me alone, ok? I can quite blogging whenever I want.
I can quit blogging whenever....which means I'll start a new one under a different name and you'll never know!!!
Almost as addicting as blogging is my addiction to reading other blogs.
Though I suppose as addictions go, it's a good one, right?...
I wish I had more time to blog.xD
I just make sure I have equal and opposite addictions that I have to get out of the computer chair to satisfy. It's all about balance, right?
Come, come, come to the Blog side!
whispers Darthblogger :)
The Bach
Hello, my name is Amy. I am a blogger. I am addicted to blogging.
:) couldn't resist!
Brian thanks for your note to my blog tonight!
This was a great post. But then, all of yours are.
In the beginning, when I got into serious blogging, I found it quite addictive. I was really bothered about that. But now, as you can see for yourself, I'm out of that addiction. Not a big deal though. My life seemed so empty and I didn't want to leave my empty mind to the devil. Now there seems to be a lot of things that I need to do in my life and I take blogging only for a good hobby.
I thought for a moment you were talking literally about drugs. I have a junkie on my blogroll and that's exactly how he describes it. I have an addictive personality so yep, addicted to blogging. Not so much posting but reading others. Although I don't wrap any cords around my arm . .doesn't everyone have a cordless keyboard and mouse? It's a sweet addiction. Nothing like the thrill of seeing your Gmail light up with comments.
BRUTAL....I've backed away from my addiction....found a little 12 step program (grin).
Seriously, I had to hold my breath when I started reading because I could not image the blog world without you.....unless of course you are going on to national publication.....NYT best seller's list, etc.
♥
S
I'm glad you cleared things up ... Don't want my initial visit to be your last blog!!
Blogging addictive? My sis calls it a "time suck". She's right!
Hahahaha! Love this satire.
Is this your "cry for help," BM?
Blogging is a hobby which is fast becoming an addiction, it's okay though not much else to do during the cold winter months when one is retired.....I will be outside gardening in the Spring and going on vacation during the summer....so I'll just be addicted during the winter.
This was good.... at first I thought someone was putting a needle in their arm to get that high....saw a lot of it during my working years.......:-) Hugs
yikes!! flashbacks of needles in my arms!! very visual, i am going to lay down now and get away from this chair, this scared me..
Nice to read that you sad its just a story !!!!
Very touching story
well written Brian :-)
Brian Miller said...
Remember to live so your have something to blog about, not the other way around.
Not blog so that you have a reason to live.
Brian, very sound advice...
Brian said,"before anyone starts commenting about not leaving...i am not going anywhere...its just a story right?"
As I raise my hand slowly...
Brian Miller said...blogging is not addictive, right?
...Oh! No, and now I'am about to utilize "tweeters" more too!
Help!
Take care!
Brian, nice post!
DeeDee ;-D
Blogging is addictive. So is Farmville. My friend warned me but I didn't liste...
Man! What are your talking about? NEVER forget the nether regions.
Great story... and yes, we all need to balance blogging and real life.
posting/writing--"one must live to have something to blog or write about"---very true...thanks for reminding us-c
Yes I love blogging too! And to share your life is the goal I thought! Meeting others is a plus!
I think the blog community is awesome!
I love what you wrote. Had me going in a whole different direction there.
Hugs
SueAnn
I don't know that blogging is as addictive as writing. The better part is that you are your own marketing agent and publisher! Nice imagery. Very addictive reading.
maybe it's better i started out so slow (6 posts my first year). also, i think it helps that i have a much better addiction going on right now in the form of a wiggly, 8-month old, supercute leprachaun. i'm thankful blogging is something to do during late-night insomnia. for now...(though i kind of like the idea that Bloggers Anonymous spells "BA!")
Sorry I have nothing to say I have to go check my facebook page.
Well done and said Brian. I get my fix in the wee hours which leaves me the light of day to live in.
Phew! I am glad you cleared that up first! I keep telling myself that blogging isn't addicting. Luckily I have kids that pull me away from it.
Glad to hear you're not going anywhere! Blogging addictive - perhaps, but you're right - you have to live life first...
interesting correlation. Hmmm. But I CAN stop anytime I want.
?
Really.
:)
So true, I am not recovering yet from the 1st two months of my blog fix, although I've cut back to 2-3 times a week from a daily dose.
Just say no, my kids are begging me!
Ha!
good one, gotta go find my next fix in live music, hmmmm bluegrass!
Dianne
I love this story. Its awesome.
I loved loved loved that last part.
xx
It's just a story, ..., right? We shall see. I'll stay tuned to you, if you stay tuned to me. Blessings fellow traveller.
Profound. Could relate to it, especially the last line. Took me quite a while to be able to acknowledge what's going on, and finally cutting myself free.
Unfortunately, yes it is addictive.
Anybody Want To Score Some Class A Gigabytes..........? Good Gear!
Addictive indeed. In two ways: posting your own thoughts and following others. Time to ask for longer days!
Great post abut something we can all relate to.:) And yes, I also thought you were leaving.;)
Have a great Saturday,
xo
Zuzana
A cousin of mine died from sharing needles. He was a heroine addict, so this hits pretty to home.
Blogging addictive? Gotta ask my group...
Someone accussed me once about living a virtual life, with imaginary friendships and nothing real in my own life. I pointed out that the reason I blog is because I want to chronicle a very active life and to share it with other people who have equally rich lives.
Sometimes it is good to take a step back and make sure we are not TOO addicted.
:)
Some people are addicted to TV and some to drugs, some to food, or gambling. We bloggers are a breed of our own. Hours can fly by reading and commenting on the many wonderful blogs. What a life huh. Love it.
Oh dear.
You are quitting also??? hahaha!
We can have coffee and talk about the good old days!
This is the best addicted to blogging post I've ever read. You are too funny, Brian.
Hey junkie.... can you spare a hit?
Oh Brian...you have such a way with words...you describe this blogging addiction so well...this better be just a story. :) Happy weekend to you and yours Brian! XX Lori
heheh thanks for pointing that one out, excellent story high packed imagery, maybe you would like to read one of mine? have a great day
Addictive? Blogging? You mean how I put off everything else so I can catch up on my reading? Guess I'd better go spend a little more time living so I have something more to blog about!
Blogging is addictive, at least your blog certainly is.
But I don't want any help or intervention just yet. Let me read just a few more of your posts first.
Yes, I agree. Blogging is addictive, but is it the writing - expressing and sharing yourself...or is it the comments - the feedback, the validatiion? Nicely done.
Here I am again. I am not an addict. It's just a habit, yah, a habit. That's all. No addition here.
As with most things that come into my life, I obsess for a while and then either tire and give up on it or continue and find a happy balance. I'm hoping for the latter in my blogging experience. We'll have to wait and see....
You're a hard habit to break. One hit and I was hooked. Good thing you were just.writing.about.quitting.
Look, it brought out all the lurkers! :)
Your advice is impeccably sound:
Life well lived is the best source of writing material.
I spend more time than I should, but since retiring, it's been enjoyable!
This is awesome!
Is T gathering the family together for an intervention? LOL!
you know things better,
you see things far and wide,
I wish I could stop looking at people's blogs.
couldn't resist, here I am,
happy Saturday!
You Are Superman in Blogging world. :)
a tragi-comic fable- very good Brian!
No longer an addiction for me, as my frequent absence here shows!
A wonderful way to spend an evening when you find yourself without company- the company of bloggers is among the best :)
Smiles Brian. You can really paint a picture with your words!
I like this, awesome post =]
Everyday is pretty much routine for me...so mundane. Maybe it's time to change it up a little and find a life, haha!
I was hooked when I first started. Now that I've met so many wonderful people all around the world, I don't know if I could ever quit.
Happy weekend!
Blogging is addictive but like you said, you have to live to have something to blog about.
surreal
Phew! Your title scared me for a minute.
Blogging addictive? Hmmm, that's a tough one, but if you hear of a good 12 step program for it let me know :-)
Hope your weekend is great.
jj
I read somewhere that in order to blog you have to have a life; that blogging can't BE your life. Are a few of us a little to caught up in blogging and not living our lives? hmmmm.
My only comment is that an addiction is an addiction is an addiction and they are all harmful and affect not only the addict, but those who love them.
PG
you write so well how and where do you come up with so many daily weekly monthly you just keep typing them.
Land Of The Gnomes
Blogging isn’t an addiction for me. in fact I tend to vanish (and m tempted to take a break again) from time to time.
phew!
but I do love the last line.
it says volumes!
blogging is totally addictive, LOL!
much love
much love
I'm glad to hear that you're not going anywhere... although would that make me an enabler? One of many I'm sure - LOL!
Your comments page = Blogaholics unite :0)
smiles back
i don't know if this is more scary or funny
This is a good one
Your last line is a great reminder to us all. That was excellent.
Excellent post, as always, Brian...missed your writing during my absence from blogging and necessary retreat. We all need it at times...:)
smiles for sure!
Calli
Absolutely fantastic! True about everything. Knowing the difference between life and hobby; life and job; importance and insignificant; addiction and serenity. A terrific reminder, Brian.
Hi Brian:)
Amazing thriller which started as a suspense, reached a climax and then realisation dawned on me that you are talking about blogging.
Blogging is a good hobby and keeps one occupied in spare time to do something which will bring joy to others. At the same time it gives one an opportunity to see what others are thinking, writing and discussing. It enables one to learn many things which normally is not possible in a short time. A person reveals his knowledge,wisdom, erudition and skill in writing and it is there for the asking.
In my case, since I mostly do photo blogging, it keeps me outdoors most of the time and I am alert to capture some interesting things which will present itself before me when I least expect. It is not enough to see but to observe things carefully is something which I learnt by blogging.
Have a nice day Brian:)
Joseph
Too many WOW I did comment at your place!One more WOW here,so WOW and..you are a better writer than guitar player!Was a long time..couldn't resist!Have a nice sunday ;)
Glad you are not leaving!
Good story.
Blogging is highly addictive & should have warnings........
Nuts in May
no no blogging is not addictive
who am I kidding :p
it's the receiving of comments that is addictive!
Thanks for this much needed fix. Blogging is about as addictive on the reading end as it is on the from behind the plunger/publish button. So well done.
No addiction in blogging...right Brian right.
Clever...as usual.
That was me last night. I was going to bed at 9 - so exhausted and sleep deprived. Made it at midnight with 600 left in the reader and 9 pages of e-mail unanswered.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Ah! You got everyone riled up with just a blog title!
I like the last line... Remember to live so your have something to blog about, not the other way around.
Yes, this blog world surely IS addictive, but I love it here!
Great post!
Hits a little bit close to home. But then good writing never promises the feelings it touches will all be fairy-tale happy endings.
Namaste
I am not so much addictive to writing as I am to reading blogs..my daughter is mad at me b/c I am not reading any books. I do think I have to some how figure out how to balance my time better!!
Very interesting conclusion. I like it. It's always been one of my ambitions to be a unique and interesting person, and thereby have more meaningful things to write about.
I have come to terms with my blogging addiction...it almost had me there for a while...I got anxious if I didn't blog for a few days...still do, but at least now I don't have to do it daily.
Finding photography actually has helped me go out into the world more to find and capture beauty I didn't notice before...the addiction comes from my having to post what I captured. ha
Good thing you aren't stopping--you would cause some serious problems for all of us!
Wonderful description of the addiction I love to be addicted to! MY drug of choice. ha
I am SO glad you clarified in your first comment! LoL! :) I do love your closing words . . . Remember to live so you have something to blog about!
Wow! Powerful. And a little frightening. Blogging is addictive but so long as we're living and then posting and not just living to post that's balance, right?
Jen
Boy, your post really hit some tender spots. Look at all the comments you received and the content of the comments. I agree, got to live life in order to have material to write about on the blog. ;-)
Almost as addicting as blogging is my addiction to reading other blogs.
Work from home India
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