on a Chinese takeout menu,
under a brown stain
she writes in
angry letters
an apology.
folding
it neatly
she flies it
out the window to the world.
i forgot you
What can you say in 160 characters, spaces included. Go see Monkey Man.
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88 comments:
Sweetly done! It makes me want to know more about who she forgot. Maybe a follow up tomorrow????
Have a great Sunday!
namaste
This is wonderful. I can see a whole movie or novel in these few words!
I love the imagery in this one!
Is she apologetic or angry? Interesting.
I forgot you??
MMM .. Cliff hanger..
I want Part TWO.
Betty Ann aka Ms Hen
Does she realise the litter she is causing? LOL!
Nuts in May
Angry letters...she chooses to forget! Love it!
Interesting and intriguing. An angry apology ...
sweet....... can you let us know what she forgot?
Oh and Now I want chinese for lunch! lol
Brian.. I did one..
This was fun.... !!!
The little things are life are silly and fun and simple.
And I learned how to use the TOOL thingy to know how many characters i did ..(including spaces..lol) !!
I forgot you... So many possibilities. You have a great talent for painting pictures with words :)
Still mad?
Sounds like one of those things that has a personal meaning to the author. All that I can offer is speculation.
More people should learn this skill. Forgeting and forgiving. Great 160 Brian.
not a lot friend however the 160 words you wrote were clever, good post...
I'm making sweet and sour spare ribs today...
who'd she forget?
Loved it!
I absolutely love theses scenes you draw with words.
Got to get rid of it somehow and when the right one picks it up they will know they have been forgotten.
short and sweet...you've got the knack
Quite clever!!!
masterfully done,
yes, you are gifted on it,
Flawless work! It feels like closure yet, i'm left wanting to know about how she's moving on. Love it!
yes very good imagery. And a chinese placemat always has brown stains on it.
Great imagery. "I forgot you" - she's hoping to put her memories of that person on that little plane and fly them right out the window 'cause obviously she DIDN'T forget that person!
But does she want the apology to be read or not?
Lovely post. It's brilliant, what you can do with just 160 characters!!
Cheers...
You've done it again, Brian. Nice work!
it doesn't sound like an apology
I think we all could use a bit of that!
Im goinna try it!
Ooooh! Intriguing! Please tell me there's going to be a follow up! ;)
This was bothering me... lol......but Pat explained it.
I forgot you.
On the plane..
Like in al-Anon.. Let Go and Let God.
What a visual way of just letting things go..
Like I had to let the d.h. thing to in my life..
mmmm
cool.
Forgotten. Ouch
Apparently you can say a lot! Heh...Haiku is hard enough but when you get down to just the characters...
How is "I forgot you" an apology?
I hate when I forget to pick up my order. Especially when it's Chinese. Mmm...noodles.
If I got a ticket for a cigarette butt, she'll get one for a paper airplane for sure.
Is "I forgot you" the apology? Or a statement.;)
I could never write anything with so few words, but you can every time.;)
Hope your weekend was great,
xo
Zuzana
Please write Part 2....just have to know how this turned out...Hugs
Yes, absolutely would love more details, although my imagination has filled them in ... I love your writing Brian !
Ah, the power to forgive and forget. What you can do with 160 characters is amazing. Your blog is better than anything on TV and in the theatre.
Happy Sunday, Brian!
Brilliant, right down to details such as the brown stain and the punchline.
lol. seems i am letting the minds wander today...sorry been offline all day. a follow up...hmm...maybe...
That's unique.
There is no greater insult than to be forgotten....
other than not to have been noticed in the first place....
I like it!
forgiving but only better...it has a twist on vengance on it!
Ah but sent out to the world, to forget, I hope no meaningful goodbye is missed in this way.
Dianne
Just like Chinese food .... not an hour later and I want more. Keep writing....
This has the best title of any 160 I have seen. She's terribly sweet and sour, too.
I'm with others...160 makes it a beautiful image, but doesn't answer all the questions.
160 characters
160 pages
it's all the same to you
wow
The title is one of the best parts. How many different ways are there to fold paper airplanes?
Kat
The title is one of the best parts. How many different ways are there to fold paper airplanes?
Kat
Thank you Brian for this little 160 treasure.
Thank you also for all your kind comments on my blog.
PG
Wow - I have not commented in too long.
Um - I want Chinese food now. Thanks.
Nice!
One of my favouritest titles ever right there.
That's a gooooood one.
I had Chinese for dinner tonight. I shoulda saved the menu.
One of these days I will try to write or maybe more like try to invent something like this. I can't promise it will make sense or be well written but I will try. lol
Your writings inspire me. :D
Very nice Brian.
that's some fortune, cookie. great post-c
Brilliant!
Hi! Brian,
6 or 61 words..."Sweet & Sour Paper Airplanes" is...well- written.
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
Wow! You had 61 comments too...until I added No# 62 and 63...What a coincidence?!?
Just kidding!
DeeDee ;-D
I love she forgot him and that she sent this statement out into the world! It made me sad though, that she was still angry!
Hugs
SueAnn
so much meaning, in so little words.....you never fail at captivating
no paper kisses today? but this is just as good it is, brian!
Now, that's a waste of paper and a cute airplane... lol
I am thinking the process was a cleansing of sorts!
i have been admiring scherearts 55 serials on fridays. how she is telling a story through little notes left for the different characters. stay tuned next sunday for a continuation on this...
One way to rid yourself of an undesirable!
'I forgot you' ... I bet she did nothing of the sort. A follow-up would be good, Brian.... smiles.
Of course there MUST be a follow up. You know how it is with Chinese takeout. We're hungry for more just a little bit later
I have forgotten quite a bit, which is definitely a good thing.
you make this look so easy.
xo
Elise
oooo, now I really liked that! I forgot you. Could mean so many things. To so many people. At so many times.
I like that I can actually visualize someone doing this.
you have such an awesome talent in words. wow
You're not wok-ing up my cat, are you?
Thank you for your comment...have a good week...Love your blog.
Succinct. Clean. Like a Ginsu slicing through all of the reasons why she DIDN'T need to apologize for being herself.
Love it.
An alternative, of course, would be to write it on a Japanese menu and then make it into an angry Origami swan.
It makes me wonder if she's angry...
whoaa -- sweet and sour airplanes, a perfect title for a fullfilling work of art -- as so much of your writing is.
Wow. Very cool.
I also like the poem you wrote for Smartmouth Broad! :)
ps. I also want part 2. Or part 1. And then part 3. :)
Do you think she knew my lonely, frozen, dark chocolate truffle?
nice :)
Short and intense!You're the master of 160!
these words made my eyes well with tears.
Powerful
well done!!!
I agree with Tabor, I can also see a movie scene/novel from this piece.
thank you for sharing.
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