on a soiled paper airplane
beside a steel trashcan
he reads in
heavy tears
her words,
tossing
it absently
among the debris
in the alley out her window.
i never did
What can you say in 160 characters? go see monkey man.
This is a continuation of last weeks 160...
sweet & sour paper airplanes
on a Chinese takeout menu,
under a brown stain
she writes in
angry letters
an apology.
folding
it neatly
she flies it
out the window to the world.
i forgot you
Sunday, January 31, 2010
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76 comments:
He never forgot her.. but he was absolutely not willing to work himself and make himself emotional mature for her.. (bad men)..lol.
Betty Ann
Thanks for the continuation reminder. I like what how beautifully you tied these together. Great 160.
some Words Last Forever........
That's nice Brian. :)
your posts are always a worthwhile read
14 inches of snow?? sounds about right for my house too. bummed that Brentwood is a no-go all day today... i'm getting stir-crazy here and might have to brave the roads just for the sake of sanity haha
Somehow, that makes it even sadder.
Man, your words really get to me sometimes. Thanks.
again, witty writing in 160 words.
sorry that snow hits your place,
my place is frozen and hard to drive again...;(
cheer up, friends will keep you warm and melt the ice in your mind and heart,
best, ;)
Very nice Brian. I love how you put these together like this. :)
The paper airplanes wouldn't do it for me. Tell me to my face, buddy. Do you love me or not? I think in real life you say it face to face and your wife and boys always know where they stand with you.
liked the tie in and interesting way you continue the conversation between the two people--great work-c
trying to play a little catch up after being snowed in. if i don't catch you today...i will be back tomorrow.
not done with this one yet...next sunday we will see where it goes from here...smiles.
the best stories are the shortest ones!
Missed connections, missed opportunities.
Some people are unforgettable.
Good luck with the snow situation.
Smiles!
I could feel a recognition in the words and realized that it was a continuation even before I read that it was.
I loved the last week one and I love this one as well.
Simple yet deep. That is what appeals to me the most.
Hope you can stay safe in the snow.;)
xo
Zuzana
You just keep getting better.
Kat
Now I'm craving sweet and sour pork and eggrolls. OH, how sweet this it.
I knew it felt familiar. :) And lovely. It must be difficult to get it just right.. and it is just right.
Very nice!
Very cool. Hope everyone in the house is getting healthy this weekend.
Brian ~ I love reading both sides of the story. Well done!
Awesome!
That's sad!!
Alright that was pretty damn cool, man.
A-Ha...hoping for a happy ending--but really, maybe a sad end makes room for a happy beginning.
good post brian, glad the wee one is better, enjoy the snow we had our fair share :)
Either you're gonna have to stop this stuff, or I'm gonna hafta get stronger eyes that don't fight to tear up.
Brian - what can I say? You are dreamy.
I love these. Limiting your characters must be difficult, however, you fit the story together seamlessly.
Love the way you tied them in together. Beautiful!!
Hugs
SueAnn
Brian, why is it we won't admit that we could never forget? I love the way you did this back to back. Both notes carry an ache.
Oh that very nice how you tied them together Brian! I love Ms Hen's comment, lol. How funny! :)
I sense a theme building here...
Those are both excellent, Brian. As usual, thought provoking and intriguing.
And brief. I can't do brief. I've tried. I even prefer men in boxers. Brief and I don't mesh. But you are the king. :) Not that I know anything about your briefs. Just your brevity. That's it. Your ability to be brief.
'kay, I'm going home now.
Wow!
*Note to self: check into the 160.
Great pt 2. Still laughing at Ms Hen's comment.
I feel the emptiness. Haunting words.
There is a lot of possibility for you in this paper airplane communication series. I can't wait to see what else becomes of it.
Ahhh... so heartwrenchingly sweet!
Love them both.
Have a great week!
This sounds sad. :(
must leave room to breathe
Oh I find this sad.....you are very good at this, looking forward to more of your writings...:-) Hugs
YEAH, can't wait for next Sunday. Great job, as always.
Hope the snow is giving you a break.
jj
Great tie in, great post... AGAIN!
Beautiful.
I thought it was a follow-on from an earlier 160... it's marvellous how you say such a lot in so few words.
Nicely done.
I'm here from Theme Thursday - thought I'd give it a go. Guess there'll be no red posts 'til Thursday :-)
wow..Awesome
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Beautiful! Awesome 160!
Wow i love this..very reminiscient of one of Rod Mckuen's poem in 'Alone', which had always been one of my favs, which of course I can't find now that I want it by me...but it's not far lol when I find it I'll come back and leave the poem you'd swear he was in on that collection lol
and 2 seconds letter I found it:
Alone...Rod McKuen
Paris
I've drawn your face
on tablecloths
across the country.
Tracing your smile
with my index finger,
making your hair just so.
Till now you're more
what I want you to be
than what you are.
I can paintyour eyes
and say
there is where I lived
for twenty minutes
and more.
I order grapefruit
and pay for ruined napkins.
And between the morning
and the evening
I draw your face
a little fainter every day.
Nice
So how is the ending of the story? Happy or not?
and these are the things we never actually know. how sad.
That is so sweet. Like a mini movie.
Namaste
It breaks my heart to read of a soiled paper airplane. Paper airplanes should be cherished.
Love this!
Awwwww! I love that you continued last weeks goosebump inducing post! :)
I can't do brief either, but you Brian, own the ability!
aawww so sweet and sad. :(
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check it out for
Word of Month poem contest,
you write a poem inspired by the word
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to enter...
have fun.
Count your blessing,
Having work to do make you happier than having no work to do,
pure blogging without other fulfillment is empty and you know it.
smile, send out warmth, and get warmed up by the end of the day...
i love pieces that show two different perspectives of the same thing. very nicely done.
That was very sad Brian! Not your usual! hahaha! (I Kid)!
wow! i love the way the 2 played off each other. when i read today's post i immediatly thought of last weeks.
sometimes you just blow me away!
You are just SO good. Love reading your work Brian.
Economy of words puts editors out of a job!
I couldn't have asked for a better continuation!
There's a whole story in these two short pieces Brian. I'm glad you're not done with it. Hope the snow lets up although right now, I'd love to be snowed in and hunkered down a bit instead of snowed under and at work!
Your amazing Brian.
We will never forget some people no matter what.
awww...bitter sweet, great, great, great imagery! absolute brilliance...or shall we call it brianance!? :)
Thanks for part two. Now I can sleep better...only a little...knowing this part of the story.
Oh I really like the first "Dear John" letter.
That was great!:)
how sad
Yikees, wow, how beautiful. Each piece hit my heart with a thud.
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