Monday, January 18, 2010

10DOM: Clarity through a Cinnamon Mist

in an empty mall parking lot,
as many are these days,
a crumpled piece of paper crawls
between the yellow lines
aided only by the wind at its back,
kept warm by the orange~pink sunset
fading beneath the mountains
in the distance.

slowly it searches until it finds
the scuffed toe of my shoe,
just as it is about to move
into the car and speed away
to something of other that
needs to be done.

poke.

poke.

poking to get my attention
i gently lift it, feeling
the weight of its course
brittle skin unfold
revealing someone’s lost poem
balled up
thrown out
flushed away
discarded
forgotten

because it
hurt too much
embarrassed them
became pointless
felt clumsy

i want to tell them
i found it here,
this complex verse
that chokes so many
in blue pen, on paper
weathered cinnamon,
it simply reads…
i love you.

smiling, I lower
it to the ground,
watching it wander away,
searching again
for whom it is intended.

For more takes on the theme, go here.

84 comments:

Ronda Laveen said...

Perfectly written and perfectly handled. Let the Elementals, god of the elements, take it where it needs to go.

TechnoBabe said...

A poem like that could reach many people and just keep going huh.

Tabor said...

I do not know what the structure and theme rules were here, but you did an excellent job. I love the image of poetry that reaches one set of toes at a time.

IB said...

Brilliantly written, sir.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Brian - beautiful!!

I hope it finds its way to its intended.

mama-face said...

Such a simple phrase made even meaningful through your way with words. Does it belittle your beautiful work by saying "I get you?". Hopefully not.

Alix said...

Oh... at first I felt sorrowful and then I realized those three words just hadn't finished their journey yet.

So lovely, Brian.

Cabo said...

That was awesome. Grand.

Kathy's Klothesline said...

You bring a smile to my face.....

Beth said...

That was great! And so sweet.

lakeviewer said...

Oh, how sweet the sentiment, and the action of letting it go, letting the words reach the intended. Perfect.

blueviolet said...

Brian, I never get tired of reading your writings. :)

secret agent woman said...

Awww. And by letting it move along to its intended, karma brings love also to you.

tori said...

ok...read some of the other 10DoM enteries...your's is the only one I "get". I'm confused.
Wonderful poem Brian :)

The Retired One said...

Writing it and saying it is quite a commitment, either way....I hope your wandering sentiment finds someone who needs to hear that....
We all remember where we were when someone we wanted SO badly finally said it to us....
and how that felt....

She Writes said...

I love it! But you captured it magically.

Not The Rockefellers said...

Beautiful

a sprinkling of cinnamon love
spreading the news
one toe at a time

now I want a Cinnabon

Peace ~ Rene

tattytiara said...

I found a love letter once. The grammar was so mashed it was hard to tell what was really meant by it. The only thing that was clear is that it was 100 proof passion. I so wanted to preserve it, but I absolutely could not keep it. It was just so very clearly not mine.

otin said...

Unfortunately it will probably never reach the one for which it was intended.

justsomethoughts... said...

you captured it
well
and let it go

wondeful, brain.

Lou said...

How do you know it wasn't meant for you..LOL

Mama Zen said...

This is lovely. And, so lonely!

AngelMay said...

Nice, Brian.

Kat_RN said...

Brian,
You hit it on the nail again.
Kat

JeffScape said...

Very nice. Expert use of sentiment.

Jen said...

Aaaw. If I found it I would consider it a very good omen.

Kate Hanley said...

Very nice. Just got caught up on the blog and loved the post about living to have something to blog about - it hit home today for some reason. Thanks.

Kate Hanley said...

Very nice. Just got caught up on the blog and loved the post about living to have something to blog about - it hit home today for some reason. Thanks.

Devika said...

Very nice, Brian :)

wishes,
devika

smiles4u said...

Nice Brian. I love your words.

rxBambi said...

love it!

CottageGirl said...

Lovely writing, Brian! I love the images you weave. I also love that i can project my own ending if i like ... but I tell you ... It would never sound as good as your!

mean_owen said...

That was wonderful!

Tracey said...

I love you notes are the most important notes in the world...(IMO!)

I hope the person those words were intended for finds them.

Smiles!
Green-Eyed Momster

Maggie said...

That was very sweet Brian!

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Wow! That was a very cute poem. I once wrote a short story after seeing a scribbling on the wooden window frame of the public library in my town. Perhaps, it was the first short story (The Spinster) that I wrote.

Kulio said...

I love your poetry best of all that you write :-)

(It sounds like poetry, or at least prose with clarity)

Kulio said...

I love your poetry best of all that you write :-)

(It sounds like poetry, or at least prose with clarity)

LadyFi said...

Wow - this was moving and beautiful!

Shelle-RealWorldVenusMars said...

Incredible poetry! You're fantastic!

Thanks for coming over to the Real World Venus vs. Mars. Love your blog!

Captain Dumbass said...

Brian, I have to admit that in general, I really don't like poetry. I always enjoy yours though. Kudos.

Iddy Albatross said...

A story of a balled paper... wow, that's something fresh and new! Enjoyed it immensely... nice :)

Cinnamon said...

Fantastic Brian- you made me feel sad for the writer of the love-poem- that it did not reach its intended one- but by bringing it into this poem, the love is expressed.

Oh, I know, that makes no sense at all!

Protege said...

Although the theme is not clear to me, this is so far one of my favorite ones of yours. There is something so simple yet so very deep in it.
LOVED it...
Zuzana

Maggie May said...

That was just LOVELY!

Nuts in May

Gillian said...

its like the message in a bottle.

Lovely!

Chhaya said...

this is one of my favorites from you Brian.

i cud see it unfolding in front of my eyes...

there is a ray of hope in it..

PS: i reposted something .. wud love to have ur feedback :)

Daniel said...

I love the notion that it will eventually find its intended. Very sweet.

Shadow said...

...and to touch another. set the mind a-wandering. dreaming.

Bee said...

Wow! You have a gift! I have never read trash described this beautifully!

the walking man said...

Beautifully stunning in the simplicity of the both the writing and the thing found by you, the next intended. Thank you for allowing that love to continue its journey.

mo.stoneskin said...

Poke, poke. I couldn't resist.

Hilary said...

Though your ocean is paved, it's much like a message in a bottle. I'm sure it was indeed intended for you .. and everyone else who had the awareness to uncork it and the sensitivity to re-cork, toss it and allow it to brighten another's day. Thanks for brightening mine.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Very nice...as always!

slommler said...

I love the idea of a poem floating in the breeze seeking it's intended heart. Lovely words Brian!
Thanks
Hugs
SueAnn

Gaston Studio said...

Love that you released it, to find another lover.

littlepieces2009 said...

Hi Brian!

I like your poem. Simple but meaningful. :)

Katherine

Brian Miller said...

lol. i am a simple kinda guy...

buffalodick said...

How many unsent, unread notes have been written over the years?

jingle said...

playful,
a piece of paper
invites you to
a game of FUN,
very beautifully done,
Brian!

Smiles.

Dianne said...

following, the one among the many.

Paul Benjamin said...

Excellent! Gives us hope that one day we all will find our intended words!

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Simply amazing and beautiful !!

Jen Chandler said...

This is beautiful! The title of the post begged me to read it. "Cinnamon Mist". I love it!

Jen

willow said...

I love that it was left to be found by another.

G-Man said...

That my friend...Was a work of Art!

Baino said...

Wow look at the comments you're getting. You're famous. I liked this but you should have put it in the bin! Litter you know. Maybe it had reached the one for which it was intended and they were less than impressed. Sorry, hump day, makes me a bit blue.

Raven said...

Just beautiful. I love the flow and pace of your words. Excellent.

Jessie said...

i read earlier -- and i agree with everyone...

i always shred my love notes after i've written them

Barbara said...

I so enjoy visiting your blog! Your writing brings a great deal of pleasure to everyone.

One wonders if this note was received and thrown away or whether it was written and discarded.

Bethan Pierce said...

Really loved the poem. Thanks for sharing!

Brian Miller said...

baino, i know, my brother called me this evening getting on me for promoting littering...

Tom said...

cinnamon...why have i seen or heard that word so often of late?
And there goes that word, Love, wandering around again. I'm glad it's a happy word for you; for me, too.

Jaime said...

i'm too tired for a coherent comment... just wanted to say hi.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

This is the most charming piece ever. Loved it, Brian.

Her Majesty Lisa (LadyWanderlust) said...

powerful words in a such a simple story. bravo.

genevieve said...

Loved it, Brian.

Goofball said...

Did you really find such a paper flying to your toe? That's so cool!!!


I love it that you tossed it back ...on its way to put a smile on someone else's face!

Corrie Howe said...

How nice to let it go on and find another person to bring the message to.

William Manson © 2010 said...

wow good poem based on a piece of paper, very vivid in imagery and well written....

hvninhell said...

Enjoyed the journey of the paper. But don't like the word "poke". It's a harsh word for a soft poem.

Tracie said...

Brilliant - as usual.

Have you ever submitted anything to be published? You should.

sanjeet said...

god of the elements, take it where it needs to go.

Work from home India

Yodood said...

ask not for whom the note's wrote … it's wrote for you! And me. And anyone else who appreciates themselves enough to feel it. Thanks Brian.