in an empty mall parking lot,
as many are these days,
a crumpled piece of paper crawls
between the yellow lines
aided only by the wind at its back,
kept warm by the orange~pink sunset
fading beneath the mountains
in the distance.
slowly it searches until it finds
the scuffed toe of my shoe,
just as it is about to move
into the car and speed away
to something of other that
needs to be done.
poke.
poke.
poking to get my attention
i gently lift it, feeling
the weight of its course
brittle skin unfold
revealing someone’s lost poem
balled up
thrown out
flushed away
discarded
forgotten
because it
hurt too much
embarrassed them
became pointless
felt clumsy
i want to tell them
i found it here,
this complex verse
that chokes so many
in blue pen, on paper
weathered cinnamon,
it simply reads…
i love you.
smiling, I lower
it to the ground,
watching it wander away,
searching again
for whom it is intended.
For more takes on the theme, go here.
Monday, January 18, 2010
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84 comments:
Perfectly written and perfectly handled. Let the Elementals, god of the elements, take it where it needs to go.
A poem like that could reach many people and just keep going huh.
I do not know what the structure and theme rules were here, but you did an excellent job. I love the image of poetry that reaches one set of toes at a time.
Brilliantly written, sir.
Brian - beautiful!!
I hope it finds its way to its intended.
Such a simple phrase made even meaningful through your way with words. Does it belittle your beautiful work by saying "I get you?". Hopefully not.
Oh... at first I felt sorrowful and then I realized those three words just hadn't finished their journey yet.
So lovely, Brian.
That was awesome. Grand.
You bring a smile to my face.....
That was great! And so sweet.
Oh, how sweet the sentiment, and the action of letting it go, letting the words reach the intended. Perfect.
Brian, I never get tired of reading your writings. :)
Awww. And by letting it move along to its intended, karma brings love also to you.
ok...read some of the other 10DoM enteries...your's is the only one I "get". I'm confused.
Wonderful poem Brian :)
Writing it and saying it is quite a commitment, either way....I hope your wandering sentiment finds someone who needs to hear that....
We all remember where we were when someone we wanted SO badly finally said it to us....
and how that felt....
I love it! But you captured it magically.
Beautiful
a sprinkling of cinnamon love
spreading the news
one toe at a time
now I want a Cinnabon
Peace ~ Rene
I found a love letter once. The grammar was so mashed it was hard to tell what was really meant by it. The only thing that was clear is that it was 100 proof passion. I so wanted to preserve it, but I absolutely could not keep it. It was just so very clearly not mine.
Unfortunately it will probably never reach the one for which it was intended.
you captured it
well
and let it go
wondeful, brain.
How do you know it wasn't meant for you..LOL
This is lovely. And, so lonely!
Nice, Brian.
Brian,
You hit it on the nail again.
Kat
Very nice. Expert use of sentiment.
Aaaw. If I found it I would consider it a very good omen.
Very nice. Just got caught up on the blog and loved the post about living to have something to blog about - it hit home today for some reason. Thanks.
Very nice. Just got caught up on the blog and loved the post about living to have something to blog about - it hit home today for some reason. Thanks.
Very nice, Brian :)
wishes,
devika
Nice Brian. I love your words.
love it!
Lovely writing, Brian! I love the images you weave. I also love that i can project my own ending if i like ... but I tell you ... It would never sound as good as your!
That was wonderful!
I love you notes are the most important notes in the world...(IMO!)
I hope the person those words were intended for finds them.
Smiles!
Green-Eyed Momster
That was very sweet Brian!
Wow! That was a very cute poem. I once wrote a short story after seeing a scribbling on the wooden window frame of the public library in my town. Perhaps, it was the first short story (The Spinster) that I wrote.
I love your poetry best of all that you write :-)
(It sounds like poetry, or at least prose with clarity)
I love your poetry best of all that you write :-)
(It sounds like poetry, or at least prose with clarity)
Wow - this was moving and beautiful!
Incredible poetry! You're fantastic!
Thanks for coming over to the Real World Venus vs. Mars. Love your blog!
Brian, I have to admit that in general, I really don't like poetry. I always enjoy yours though. Kudos.
A story of a balled paper... wow, that's something fresh and new! Enjoyed it immensely... nice :)
Fantastic Brian- you made me feel sad for the writer of the love-poem- that it did not reach its intended one- but by bringing it into this poem, the love is expressed.
Oh, I know, that makes no sense at all!
Although the theme is not clear to me, this is so far one of my favorite ones of yours. There is something so simple yet so very deep in it.
LOVED it...
Zuzana
That was just LOVELY!
Nuts in May
its like the message in a bottle.
Lovely!
this is one of my favorites from you Brian.
i cud see it unfolding in front of my eyes...
there is a ray of hope in it..
PS: i reposted something .. wud love to have ur feedback :)
I love the notion that it will eventually find its intended. Very sweet.
...and to touch another. set the mind a-wandering. dreaming.
Wow! You have a gift! I have never read trash described this beautifully!
Beautifully stunning in the simplicity of the both the writing and the thing found by you, the next intended. Thank you for allowing that love to continue its journey.
Poke, poke. I couldn't resist.
Though your ocean is paved, it's much like a message in a bottle. I'm sure it was indeed intended for you .. and everyone else who had the awareness to uncork it and the sensitivity to re-cork, toss it and allow it to brighten another's day. Thanks for brightening mine.
Very nice...as always!
I love the idea of a poem floating in the breeze seeking it's intended heart. Lovely words Brian!
Thanks
Hugs
SueAnn
Love that you released it, to find another lover.
Hi Brian!
I like your poem. Simple but meaningful. :)
Katherine
lol. i am a simple kinda guy...
How many unsent, unread notes have been written over the years?
playful,
a piece of paper
invites you to
a game of FUN,
very beautifully done,
Brian!
Smiles.
following, the one among the many.
Excellent! Gives us hope that one day we all will find our intended words!
Simply amazing and beautiful !!
This is beautiful! The title of the post begged me to read it. "Cinnamon Mist". I love it!
Jen
I love that it was left to be found by another.
That my friend...Was a work of Art!
Wow look at the comments you're getting. You're famous. I liked this but you should have put it in the bin! Litter you know. Maybe it had reached the one for which it was intended and they were less than impressed. Sorry, hump day, makes me a bit blue.
Just beautiful. I love the flow and pace of your words. Excellent.
i read earlier -- and i agree with everyone...
i always shred my love notes after i've written them
I so enjoy visiting your blog! Your writing brings a great deal of pleasure to everyone.
One wonders if this note was received and thrown away or whether it was written and discarded.
Really loved the poem. Thanks for sharing!
baino, i know, my brother called me this evening getting on me for promoting littering...
cinnamon...why have i seen or heard that word so often of late?
And there goes that word, Love, wandering around again. I'm glad it's a happy word for you; for me, too.
i'm too tired for a coherent comment... just wanted to say hi.
This is the most charming piece ever. Loved it, Brian.
powerful words in a such a simple story. bravo.
Loved it, Brian.
Did you really find such a paper flying to your toe? That's so cool!!!
I love it that you tossed it back ...on its way to put a smile on someone else's face!
How nice to let it go on and find another person to bring the message to.
wow good poem based on a piece of paper, very vivid in imagery and well written....
Enjoyed the journey of the paper. But don't like the word "poke". It's a harsh word for a soft poem.
Brilliant - as usual.
Have you ever submitted anything to be published? You should.
god of the elements, take it where it needs to go.
Work from home India
ask not for whom the note's wrote … it's wrote for you! And me. And anyone else who appreciates themselves enough to feel it. Thanks Brian.
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