sure fingers push
the sharp blade
of the well worn
pocketknife,
releasing flakes of soap
to pile
at His ankles,
unveiling what
is inside: me,
trying
not to scream.
What can you write with 160 characters? Go see Monkey Man.
Transformation is rarely painless.
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49 comments:
Very nice Brian. I would expect you to pull this off as beautifully as you did. Whittling these down to 160 ain't easy. Great job.
Ha, lets try this again,..
I did not see that coming!
I'm mother of three: 12, 14 and 15 yrs old.
Cub scout leader with a burnt 2-story high playstructure, and there's always gonna be one kid, no sooner is the pocket knife out..... well you get it.
Ha! you made me smile. Keep writing about your boys. you think you'll never forget something, and sure enough,it's gone....
Dianne
What you whittled away must've been irrelevant, 'cause what we have here is a whole fully packed scene, in 160 marks. Well done!
Whittling is a skill that you have mastered.
I feel the pent up tension.
Santa Puppets
The last time I was witness to whittling I left and 5 minutes later we had a bloody mess on our hands. :(
I checked out Monkey Man per your suggestion. Lots of good writers online huh. You whittler you.
When I whittle, I always take away too much and end up empty!
I think that I will start a meme called one word Monday! haha!!
I don't know how you do these. They seem very hard to me. You do have a way with words.
Smiles!!
I loved having my pocket knife in its little sheath on my belt as a youngling. I was just like one of the guys. Heck, if I wanted to whittle on a branch while I sat out in the grass, it was my choice.
I can barely type a comment in 160 characters. I tend to go on and on and on and on ....
I used to love to carve soap..
160? I'll give it a go. Bet I don't make it.
Hi! Brian,
LOL!
Sunday 160: Whittling
What a nice post!
DeeDee ;-D
Now that's what I call whittling!
GREAT job Brian.
jj
I could not write anything as eloquent as this. With 160 characters or 1600. You have so much emotions within.
;)
Mine is up!
Awesome, Brian! Is 160 low enough to fit on Twitter??
If you've got Netflix, you can probably stream the film right from your computer as I did.
nessa, i do believe you struck the cord...for it is i that am whittled, even in my reluctance, at times....
Ta-da! You did it, and it was powerful!
Oh, yeah! 160 characters! Amazing.
wow, great job. It was very insightful for 160 characters. I'm impressed.
i could never do one of these 55 or 160 word stories... as evidenced by my 7 parter with otin, i can't do anything short! pitfall of being a lawyer, i guess.
Oh yes, pruned to bear more fruit...a diamond in the rough....whittling makes us better, doesn't it.
I've done haiku, and have done a five word challenge...160 words is plenty!
wow, i'm impressed. thats way better than twitter's 140 characters!
Well done. As always. :)
Ooh, rather chilly ending I think. I can not imagine being so succinct as 160 words but, like always, you shine through.
Brian I am going to have do a lot of catching up I see!
stop by I have something for you!
Lovely flow as always Brian :)
releasing flakes of soap
So pretty. Please don't scream and ruin it {wink}.
Transformation can be rough, whether by knife or circumstance.
and the punch at the end...nice job :-)
Wow. Really nice, Brian. You are very talented.
damn this is good!
I'm always amazed at how eloquent and powerful you can make a story out of 160 words or 55 words. I'd never be able to do it - I spew too many words! ;)
Nice description of transformation!Yes that's right!Nice one Brian!I think I'm going to try monday 160!Can it be?
Whittling/whittle is a great word to use.
CJ xx
i agree with Shadow's 2 comments ...
very powerful!
"Damn!"
Ok Brian . . . You never cease to amaze me . . . 55 words was bad ass, but 160 characters??? That's a little bit over a tweet! LoL! Great job! Great message! You should compile all these writings into a book! "The Collective Works of Brian Miller" :)
Cool!
I might venture to say that transformation is never painless. Thank you very much for stopping by my blog after all this time. It was really cool of you, especially when you have so many people who all love your work and want to interact with you. I hope you're doing really well.
OK so what did he whittle? I love my Swiss army knife very handy in a pinch and it has a bottle opener!
I liked the way you used the voice in the poem to be projected into the whittled object. That made a wonderful 160 degree twist in the poem. Your poem was succinct and cleverly carved. Thank you for sharing, Brian.
How witty, you whittle so well!
I had a vision of whittling the soapbox.
Great piece Brian.
You never cease to amaze me with your writing talent! First you do 55 words. Now 160 characters? Sheesh!
Brian, I'm impressed! I love what I keep "learning" about you since Mr. Toast's party. Say...is that a new piercing I see?! :D
Great title paired with that great impact of your words...
Awesome!
I am SO impressed with this! 160 characters. Fantastic!
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