Pealing back warmth of furry blankets, my toe slips to the floor, testing for tattle tale creaks from the floorboards. This will be the year that I actually sneak into the living room seeing what Santa brought before anyone wakes...
Silent as a stirring shadow, I creep to the door, peering into the hall that stretches like an inky river passed my parents room to the front of the house. Sliding my feet along the baseboards, where nails hold the floor firmly in place, ensuring no clatter would arise to wake ma' in her kerchief or pa in his cap, stealth becomes my accomplice.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Every move echoes inside my head, in deference to the silent night. Inch by inch, my eyes never leave the mounds created by my parents under the covers of their bed, until I slide beyond their door. Relief spills across my trembling limbs as the rest of the hall is traversed furtively.
As I turn the corner to the living room, my dreams of hours of blissful play are interrupted by the glowing apparition staring deep into my soul. Pride leaks down the leg of my pajamas, my skin shivering under his gaze. What passes for a mouth gapes in a horrible snarl, fetid breath washing my face in its warm embrace.
Subtlety shatters like a dropped tea cup, my foot falls pound hasty retreat, leaving my screams to trail behind, waking the entire house from its long winter's nap...
____
In the bright morning sun, my brother snickers as he punches his new glow-in-the-dark inflatable Hulk punching bag...leaving me to the ghosts of my folly.
Ho. Ho. Ahem.

61 comments:
LOL dare i say, "incredible?" ;) i thought the Grinch became real there for a moment. this all sounds like it actually did happen in your past. i can still recall the new barbie smell the Christmas i received the Barbie camper. How exciting to be a child during the hollyday season. thanks for your kind post this morning re: my blog of last night. i trust your mum was released by now and hopefully recovering smoothly and happily at home!
lol. true story...i still wont get out of bed before time...
Serves you right, you rotten little kid. ;o)
LOL. Priceless! Oh, and you had one heck of a long hall to traverse too!
Sometimes the fates just conspire against you! Great story Brian.
Pride, eh?
Hahaha - My brother and I had a similar experience, but my mom was the one yelling at us to get back to bed!
BUSTED! Alas, not by any definable authority. LOL.
My older step brother used to mess with me like that. He woke me up one time at midnight and told me it was time to get up for school.
I hope you've told your boys this story to keep them from peeking....
:)
Thanks for sharing your story.
Did he ever get one over on you?!!! LOL
fantastic story...so fun in the innocence!
much love
Was that a literal leak of pride? Did you change your jammies?
Hulk punching bag...heehee. Cute story, Brian!
Nice. . . . and I was just sure it was a glow of embers from the fire place or that you actually saw Santa.
I am laughing and LAUGHING OUT LOUD!
HA! Cause I was kinda freaked out at first about WHAT could be in YOUR living room on Christmas!! A bit suspenseful there! WHOA!
Poor lil guy...and his Christmas jammies all ruined too! BROTHERS! They can be cruel huh?
Guilt and the unexpected can cause the most embarassing physiology. Ha! Cute.
In days gone by, you wold have been the designated tribal story teller. Fun, entertaining and poignant.
Hulk smash Christmas dreams!
The Hulk that stole Christmas - a new modern classic!
I don't use these, but
;) ))
Thats a double chin winking
Sounds like a Jolly Christmas indeed!! :D Hehehe
Happy Holidays... Cheers... :)
Oh! You had me worried there for a minute...lol...
You little scamp! Did you try again the next year?
Love the 'the hall that stretches like an inky river' image :)
I guess that what brothers are for, right?;) I used to play tricks on my little sister too, not mean, but tricks never the less.;) Like telling her that the radio controlled car will run her down, cause she always wanted to take it away from me. She used to run away screaming each time I played with it later and I was left in peace. Hehe.:P
Great writing as always.
:)
Zuzana
I hate the dark and would have died of a heart attack.
Bwahahahahahaaa!! Now if I had ever had one of those on my list....you were what, 6?
brothers at play, how delightful...
oh brothers...such a funny tale of Christmas...as always brilliant, Brian :)
Know what I like about your writing? It is not predictable and it truly has a unique point of view. As always a good job. :) Lisa
Lol!:)
your imagery, "peering into the hall that stretches like an inky river" LOVE this line! and storytelling techniques are top-notched indeed!
i loved the ending -- didn't see that one coming! lol
"tattle tale creaks" - nice!
So sad and well written. I'm glad to have found you (came from Willow Manor). Best wishes to your ma.
You need to find the Christmas present hiding place about a week before the big day and then you have time to undertake a thorough reconnoiter without any shocks and surprises.
For my kids, I remember dragging clothes poles across the roof, to look like sleigh runners had been there..
This little tale took a wonderful left turn. Thanks!
I laughed at this one, Brian. And I loved the imagery of the "river" of the hallway you had to pass.
At first, I thought it was a real puppy or dog growling at you..then you cleared it up for me!
Wonderful descriptions and humor regarding your childhood...you always have good stories for us.
Don't ever feel you have had a boring life...you have already given us some fascinating stories of what has occurred. I hope as you age, you keep having these experiences, so we can benefit by your writing of them!
Happy Holidays to you and your family, Brian!
Anything inflatable and glow in the dark would be a memory to retell to children and grandchildren.
Brilliantly told. I love your writing. And 10 points to your brother.
So Funny! Poor little guy, getting scared by the Hulk.
Loved the story.
Don't feel bad. I'm sure the hulk has made many a man pee his pants.
didn't your parents tell me to stay in bed until the morning ;)
tough luck huh.
I quickly realised it wasn't a mouse....
Great stuff, Brian, but really... it served you right....smiles
Great story! I loved those punching bags, except mine was a clown...and now, I hate clowns.
That has got to be the most bad ass way I've ever heard anyone say they wet their pants! :) Great story!
And in some sublime transcendent sense do we not even still, as adults, believe in Santa and pee our jammies?
I know I've just found you, but I had an award to give and I'd like to give it to you! Pop over to mine to pick it up!
Hee hee...this is so funny. That will teach you!
Haha . love your pride trickling down your leg, I hope you didnt' stain the carpet! I think that's why my parent's used to sneak a stocking onto the end of our beds, kept us in our rooms just that little bit longer.
that might be just the idea baino! i like it...yeah, i dunno if santa ever brought aby thing else glow in the dark again...
Oh - older brothers can be such shits! I know you tend to write from experience! I hope this didn't scar you for life!
hoo ha! as a kid,we always opened presents after midnight mass, and slept in Christmas morn. Now i'm the one up early and shaking the kids out of bed...sheesh, teenagers!
Great story!!
Great story. As hard as I tried, I never did this.
By the time I went to sleep, I was so exhausted because the thought of Santa coming was overwhelming I slept till morning.
Brian,
Good story... hee hee.. you might have to rewrite "A Christmas Carol". Have a good one!
The Bach
Brought back great memories. I snuck downstairs only to discover the cot had been placed in the living room. Couldn't figure it out until I discovered (when we all woke up) that it wasn't a cot but 2 sleds up against a dollhouse for me! Glad to hear your mom is on the mend!
This is a good one. He got you! And you had us in grips the whole time.
haha! Still, I would rather this than to be an only child. I hope your 2 boys are fully encouraged to have just as much fun!
Jeff's comment just cracked me up. I can't improve on it.
Oh! I hope you got to pay him back some time! hehehe
Did you ever get a chance to get him back? Great story Brian!
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