passion
burns the tips
of his fingers,
as they play
at the corners
of the folded
paper, in the
pocket of his
coat.
looking
down, where
she lay, asleep
in her beauty,
tears drop like
hot coals to
her already cooling
breast.
i love you...
nothing haunts us
like things left
unsaid, until
too late.
Tell a story in 55 words. Give it a try or read more, go see g-man.
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95 comments:
Hey I'm first?
That was lovely, Brian - bittersweet.
This is really beautiful, Brian. Once again, the power of your words have moved me.
Sweet and true. Say it, you never know when you won't get to again.
Is she dead and why does he have his coat on?
Well, now I'm depressed. Well done, but I'm still depressed. Will you hold me?
You know me, I always read into things. Is she dead?? It works that way! :)
I have been moved by words more this year than any other in my life.
Powerful post.
Smiles
i have my own idea, but leaving it open to interpretation is so much more fun...
yes, she was...
So many directions to pull with this one. Great 55. Mine won't be up until later.
Loved this..so nicely written.
Great 55, Bri! Kind of like a gunslinger, you are...only you use words instead of bullets.
ronda, i always wanted to be a cowboy...
My mother always used to say, "Don't go to bed mad at someone". Wherever possible, I try to follow this advice. You never know when you might not have another opportunity to make things right.
This was a 55 that touches deeply.
PG
Trust me....My mouth says many things. I try to hold nothing back!
Excellent 55 Brian
Thanks for this poignant little gem!
Have a Happy Holiday....G
Very true. You never know when you'll run out of time. Feed them now in case they can't come back ;)
I'm up!
http://inappropriatesue.blogspot.com/2009/12/55-flash-fiction-friday-twelve-days-of.html
With this one the images were so much more vivid for some reason. Perhaps because the words were so well chosen that they conveyed so much. Anyway, wonderful! Sad, but wonderful.
impressive
quite the understatement
Brian,
Well written. Sad but beautiful. You are truly a creative writer. Keep at it!
The Bach
Beautifully written, and so true.
Passion and already cooling breast? What did he do? Nevermind, I don't want to know. Powerful, as always, Brian.
I'm up, too...
-smarmoofus
Perfectly beautiful Brian. And you are so right, it does haunt us when things go left unsaid. We never know when it's going to be "too late". Well said. I like how you left it to us guessing...:)
In retrospect, I actually love this. You've "simply" said it all. Everything that matters, I mean.
Thanks, Bud.
I hope it's not too late for me to learn this lesson. I have already paid such a steep price. Amen to your words my friend.
So important!
I thought she was dead and he's holding her obit thing they give out at wakes. But then why would tears fall on her cooling breast and not already cold. Damn, I did it wrong.
OhhhhhhOhOh okay. I got it. the pen is mightier than the sword and whatever is on that paper killed her.
close? OR... maybe the paper had arsenic in it and he made her take it... Ohhhh....yeah.... I like that one.
He's a dick if he killed her.
Gave me chills with this one my man.
Bittersweet and beautiful.
I like it. :)
Thanks for doing Friday 55 again! :)
Mine is ready too... right here.
Lovely lovely one.
Wish I could write one like that to my g'friend! But mine would become 550 instead of 55!
That is probably the worst thing someone could leave unsaid, too.
Excellent writing!
can't comment on this one, Brian, due to the lump in my throat. my fingers are frozen...
So poignant Brian!
well written...
Thanks for dropping by!
Happy Holidays~
Your writing is like watching silken words drip through your open and cupped hand. 55 allows us time to watch and react to each and every word, syllable by syllable and then look at them again, as a whole and then again as only a mere part of a story.
Lovin it :)
xxsm
very sweet, I have found a way to tell people I love them. They allow it and it is ok. It's really ok,
mine is up
Wonderful, moving and bittersweet.
Oh wow. I see you are quite good at this. Very nice.
really sad, and sometimes too true. great 55!! merry christmas!!
I found myself interpreting this a couple ways. Dang!
That's good, Brian--
And now I see your interpretation.
Finely crafted, my friend.
Mine's up:
http://inlindenhills.blogspot.com/2009/12/flash-fiction-friday-tattoo-artist.html
That last bit was so true. Nicely done.
This one pulls ceratin strings in me, touching me very deeply.
"nothing haunts us like things left unsaid, until too late" Precious widsom, and penned with your usual powerful simplicity.
Thank you
Lola xx
Very romantic and full of sweet melancholy.
Beautiful as always.
:)
Zuzana
this one tore through my heart...
A wonderful expression that gave me goose bumps.
Thank you for stopping by!
Namaste
Oooo, that's nice. and a bit sad.
beautiful Brian. You really have an amazing way with words. Have an awesome day and mine is up.
Sarah
Oh man you need to read the poem Confession by Bukowski.
Wow...you do know how to tear at the ol' heart strings.
MY 55 is all about snow suits and the urge....come see HERE
HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!
Felt it in my GUT
beautiful and true. i think we've all shared that experience...i know i have.
wonderful job!
cowboy...the only thing NOT on your resume! :)
Wow this actually gave me goosebumps. Very well done. I guess the saying never go to bed without saying I love you or you may reget it, comes to mind when reading this. Have a great weekend. Mine is up
Wow - great job writing something so beautiful and in 55 words!
Very bittersweet Brian, and so well written!
No one who reads your excellent blog would ever doubt the Love you have for your wife ;)
Beautiful, Brian, just beautiful. I'm going to have to get my thesaurus out so I can find new words to leave here when you blow us away with your writing.
♥
S
I always say to myself, "If the last words we had said to each other were harsh, the one who lives is the one that will suffer the guilt of the argument forever"..
wonderful!
Another good one. I don't think I could tell anything in 55 words. Well done.
Unfortunately, I so can think of great words and things to say AFTER an event, not in the midst of any kind of emotional event. Good writing as usual, made me think of a few times I wish I had spoken out.
Beautiful.
I simply love, love, LOVE that you can't tell what's going on and why it's goodbye or what the backstory is! Is it a break up? Is she dying of some horrible disease? Is it his mistress and he's never gonna see her again? It's so open ended!!! Kudos friend! :)
Love it! Thanks for stopping by and checking me out!
Nothing haunts us
like things left
unsaid
And we're all haunted by that one.
you did it again Brian love to read your poems I'm glad i found you through Flash Fiction 55.
This Blog Of Mine
Sometimes the unsaid isn't as bad as the said-and-regretted-forever.....
either way it is always so sad...you captured that perfectly.
Loved this one, Brian.
This is what happens when you don't say "dibs" on the turkey leg after it's done cooking and you're standing over it watching somebody else get it...
Or maybe I interpreted the story wrong...
You have such a ways with words...why is it we forget until sometimes it's way to late. Well done. :) Have a wonderful Friday :)
"nothing haunts us
like things left
unsaid, until
too late."
That is very powerful and very true. Very nice friend.
Everyone here is obviously a writer. I'm not, you know I'm an artist and see things a bit differently. You're words are beautiful. I paint beautiful things, so truly understand beauty. I'm still shaking my head. I don't know the words to describe how I feel. I just know you moved me with yours. That's a gift. XO
And how many times we leave things unsaid.
Here's wishing you no regrets and a wonderful Christmas!
Beautiful but I also wonder why he has his cpat on and if she is dead.
Beautiful. Emotionally powerful.
Great writing!
This is gorgeous in its beauty and sadness...wow, Brian, you are in the zone!
smiling as I leave here! :)
I have sure missed your beautiful words, as I have not been able to do much reading lately.
Your writings always touch me!
Never let the things of importance go unsaid. . .
Loved this one, superb 55. sad...but many realizes late.Sigh.
I had to come back and read the other comments.
Wow, to Buffalodick's comment. Those words will stay with me forever.
Thanks and smiles.
And yet, we hesitate so much in saying what we should be saying. Some confusing creatures we are!!
Hi! Brian,
Wow...What an interesting post...I like these words...
"nothing haunts us
like things left
unsaid, until
too late."
Thanks, for sharing!
DeeDee ;-D
less is more
and 55 seems just perfect
Ouch... that hit me somewhere deep in my heart...
I like your 55 poetry! I particularly like that you can get straight to the point in so few words!
Thanks for visiting and your comment.
Merry Christmas to you and yours, hope it is a truly blessed time. :)
Great post, Brian.
Beautiful.. and true.
I am often humbled by your natural gift of weaving words into a magnificent tapestry. I am awed of how beautiful and powerful your words are, often time in least amount possible. You are truly gifted. :) Lisa
Hauntingly beautiful. You are amazing!
Brian,
I'm really enjoying and getting in to your writing. Wow. Beautifully written and incredibly moving to my inner being. (sigh)
Take care.
Liz
Love your passion and ability to share it so succinctly.
So true. Nothing haunts us like things left unsaid. Can't wait to be in love like that.
WHOA! I am catching up Brian!
This one is quite poignant!
A poem of high,very high quality.
No wonder the reader response is so strong. I have published much, but never,I think, so fine.
Geez, that's a great one. I don't know how you manage in just 55 words, but it's wonderful.
jj
I love this one!
I used to be bothered by the "unsaid things". My addled brain can be a blessing sometimes because now I've forgotten most of the stuff I should have said. And who I should have said it to.
You really have a way with your 55's. Love it. :)
you seem so romantic about everything,
wild imagination,
brilliant organization.
how many man see beauty and passion from their own daily encounter?
Oh my!
This touched me so much!
I always tell those I love how much I love them!
No regrets!
Take care, Brian.
You are truly an amazing writer!
I love everything you write!
Margie :)
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