Anguished sobs leak from the phone, like a needle pushed deep into my ear...Where are you?
I am at jail...
Moonlight paints the world grey beneath the coal black blanket of the night sky, a wave and a kiss chase her red tail lights down the asphalt. Tires fall into their well worn groove cut by many a trip to her parents, humming a traveling tune as the miles slip away.
A tire must have slipped off the road, sucking into the mud, throwing the car end over end...blue lights cast an eerie palor across his profile, glinting off his badge.
Yellow lines mark the way, sometimes dotting and dashing in morse code, calling her home. Rains had lashed the days before, replenishing the earth with a much needed drink, but now it is clear and the stars blink their eyes as they watch her slip through the mountain pass.
Ma'am, if you have any drugs in the car, I will take them...greasy hair tucks under green RED MAN hat, as he peers into eyes peeking out from the wreckage.
Everything slows as the earth spins out of control, hood over trunk the car tumbles like a domino down the length of the median. Wrenching screams pierce the frame, bending glass, whipping her body into a frenzied dance...then everything stops except the crickets.
cricket...cricket...cricket...
Fingers of carpet grind like glass into bended knees, a king trapped in his castle, so far from his queen, slowly realising he is not in control...letting his crown roll to the feet of the one that is.
Castle.
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73 comments:
Ts wreck happened the first year of our marriage...if there was a humorous part is was the reaction of the trucker that found her ...looking for drugs...she walked away with nothing but a scratch on her knee and the shell of a camry...
That's one lucky girl. Thank God she came out okay. It sounds absolutely awful!
Wow! I'm glad everything worked out and that she walked away unscathed. That was a very dramatic story. Very realistically written. I couldn't help but picture myself there.
Oh, you make us hang on a thread, each description delaying the inevitable bad news, the carnage that it foreshadows. Glad to know that she walked off without many injuries. You were all given a scare.
The truck driver searching for drugs broke the narrative.
A lot of this is too memorable to move on, needs to be taken in:
"yellow lines...dashing in morse code, calling her home."
You are a true artist.
They took her to jail, instead of the hospital, because she did not appear seriously hurt?
Scary. I always wondered if a near loss like this make a couple more cautious and grateful of each other.
Great story telling. Glad to hear she walked away with just a scratch.
I love your writing. Are you writing a book?
much love
Devastating.
And calls to mind the afternoon I got a similar phone call, Sarge had been in a terrible accident...and similarly okay, but that moment, so awful...
I never tire of your unique style.
You have a talent of describing a scene, making the reader feel as if "being there".
I am sure she must have felt incredible fear during those split seconds when all this took place.
Glad to hear that no one was hurt.
:)
Brian, as well as being an incredible wordsmith, you are a master of suspense. I read riveted, wondering what happened . . . I'm waiting for your book!!!
It's the phone call a parent dreads, and I've had a few of them, myself. Glad to hear your T was unharmed!
The trucker is a riot!! I would love to see a poll of how many adults use drugs. I only see polls of how many teens take drugs.
Wow!
Yikes! Can't believe the trucker. Glad she is ok.
would you write my descriptive essay for English due on monday?
Glad T was okay....I was holding my breath while reading....
♥
S
I'm glad she was ok! I've had more than a few wrecks myself.
Yes, scary...and yes, we are not in control! ;) Glad all was ok...amazing about the truck driver. Maybe he was trying to help...get them off the scene so she wouldn't be incriminated.
That was uncomfortably kinetic to say the least. Very vivid.
I know that you draw from personal experience, so you really had me worried there! Whew!
I knew it had to be a true story! yeah you painted it.
big
phew.
Oh, you had me @ "waving at her tail lights." U know how love a good car story. Glad it had a happy ending...well except for the Camry.
Big sigh when I read your comment. I'm glad everything worked out okay. That had to have been VERY scary.
I never know quite what to say after reading one of your posts. Is that a compliment? I hope you see it as such because that's how it is meant.
Your writing is sincere and honest and so heartfelt. My brain flat-lines and all I can think to say is: Bravo, B.
This sounded horrible and I was afraid of the outcome until I read your comment. How lucky she was to have come away unscathed. But then, she most likely wasn't other than physically but I imagine mentally, it is still alive.
Wow, that is very scary! Amazing how you can describe such a scene!
Glad everyone was, OK.
I'm very glad you explained that. And very glad she walked away (mostly) unhurt.
That gave me shivers. Car accidents get under my skin so easily.
Wow. Thank God it ended well. Great post.
ocean girl, they did take her to jail...getting the call from your wife, in jail, in the middle of the night...yeah...they took her there to wait because she was an hour and a half away..from me one way and her parents the other...
What a fortunate young lass she was! And you, sir, write brilliantly.
Every week you manage to top yourself! Great artistry with words! I sincerely wish I could write as well as you do, my friend. Great post, and "Happy TT!"
New tires: $200.00
EMT bill: $450.00
Good samaritan willing to "hide" the evidence: Priceless!
You are one powerful writer... i look forward to reading the books....?
kay, i just had a friend drop me an email tonight about publishing...perhaps soon...
What's up with all these peeps writing TT and posting on Wednesday? trying to beat the rush, eh?
Another unique twist. I don;t know how you do it.
Accidents have ways of humbling us and allowing us to face our own mortality, don't they?
Wow. I'm so sorry she went through that. She was indeed fortunate, as are you and the boys.
Great writing...you had me on the edge just waiting...
Chess allusion?
This is good writing, you take an incident and write in such a way that we go on an adventure. Nothing is a simple incident. Amazing way to write.
Scary stuff to begin with, and then you cut it into a chunk of words that are more like picigrams. -Jayne
Whoa! I was imagining it to be worse than it actually was. lol. Thanks for the follow up explanation. Haha.
But i do get that feeling of helplessness when you are so far away from the people you love and they need you. Badly.
Great job on another Theme Thursday!
Here's my take on the castle theme: Reyjr.com
Yikes! Quite an adventure. I am sure that your wife did all of this on purpose so that you might have something to write about years later. I can't think of any other logical explanation.
Thank God! imagine...love the way you described it
A SMOOTH reminder for me to let MY crown STAY at the feet of the ONE in charge.
EXCELLENT and thought provoking!
Oooo I was on tenterhooks with this one, Brian. Thank goodness everything turned out all right.
Many of us are taking the princess route...not YOU! A different perspective for sure.
What a story!
I find your great skill, Brian, is in your descriptive passages: "chase her red tail lights down the asphalt", "Rains had lashed the days before", "body in a frenzied dance". This is what really puts your readers in the picture. This is why your followers are many. (This and the humanity you bring to each piece.)
Wow. You can really paint a picture. You have amazing talent.
cali, i dont fit in a princess dress all that well...lol.
barb and kat, ty. i like to play...
wow, that had me on the edge of my seat. I'm so glad it didn't end badly for T.
Happy TT
you have an amazing gift with writing. what a wonderful venue to be able to share and release yourself from this pain. if there were drugs and alcohol involved i hope this was her last.
So glad she was not seriously hurt. i love your writing.
As always, your writing just blows me away. I can't wait to see you published - and I have no doubt you will be.
Every Castle Has A Dungeon .It's What Defines Them........
Such an interesting take on the theme. So glad to know she walked away but boy it must have been scary.
That was one very lucky escape!
Scary stuff. Glad it turned out to be just a scratch! Great piece.
Brian, you have a gift. Your narrative starts with a powerful simile, and builds from there. You're a natural at this. I'd like it if you came to visit me again.
Amazing story. You have some really great images in there.
Dona Nobis Pacem & Thursday Thirteen
your writing leaves me dazzled! I am so glad that T was safe! yes how easy our safety is disrupted when we least expect it.
And no matter how much we fortify ourselves there is always risk.
Incredible story,Brian. You had me on the edge of my seat........I kept hoping all would turn out ok.
Jsut checking back to read more of the comments and takes on your writing here. Wow--60 of them!
Glad to hear she made it back to the castle relatively unscathed... even if the camry was a little worse for wear.
clean and crazy, there wasn't any real drugs or alcohol...except maybe the ones the trucker was imagining...
Holy Shit...63 comments during the week?
Do you work?
Anyway....55...soon....Be there!!
Was the car a total loss? I'm sorry, you might have said it in there somewhere but I can't possibly read 64 comments right now!
:)
Happy TT and happy T to make it out of that okay!
My sister was in a car accident when we were teenagers. The driver of the car passed out while driving and the crash was so close to our house that I heard it happen. It could have been a lot worse and no one died but their 4 lives were changed forever.
I'm glad that T's wreck was minor. It's still scary!
Smiles!
I liked the falling crown at the end. Sort of like finally giving up.
Powerful imagery going on here. Glad she survived the accident.
I imagine that after the accident, when you watched those tail lights going down the road, that you experienced just a pang of fear. I know it has been many years, but I think you will never forget the moment you received that call. It is as if you never forget that you will have cause to worry. But truly the worry never stops, because when the boys start driving you will worry then too. But that is when trust becomes so important. Trust that you have taught them well. Then just when you think you can stop worrying again, there comes the grandkids. I just think it is an endless cycle when you love your family. An endless cycle that you hope never ends.
God bless.
Magnificent!And yes glad to hear that she went out of that accident without a scratch.
what a story! At least her health was unharmed...
xoxo
Glad about the happy ending, loved the description of the night... beautiful!!
Wow I thought it must have happened you describe it with such realism. Terrifying but an interesting perspective on the theme. Thank goodness she's OK. My one and only car crash was in the rain as well but no real damage, I just slid into the car in front!
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