Sunday, November 22, 2009

Comedy of Errors

Playing Nerf guns with boys 1/3 your age: Fun

Playing Nerf guns in the woods with boys 1/3 your age: Even better

Building forts while playing Nerf guns in the woods with boys 1/3 your age: Like reliving your childhood

Losing your car keys in said woods and having to call your wife to come pick you up: Ill-advised

Waking up screaming in the middle of the night because your face is on fire, only to look in the mirror and see Quasimodo looking back at you, because you hid in a patch of poison oak during the Nerf battle : Really not a lot of fun at all


Walking around the the last several days like a leper, yelling unclean to anyone trying to give me a hug or shake my hand: Priceless

Yep, kinda glad this weekend is over.

At least the swelling has gone down in my eyes enough to see and my lips have deflated to supermodel size. A side effect of the steroids they gave me are hallucinations, so if you get any weird comments over the next couple days, it's just me.

Guess there goes my professional career...does blogger do random drug testing?

Recuperating tonight. I'll catch up with everyone tomorrow.

57 comments:

Candie Bracci said...

oh crap!Hope all comes back to normal soon!What a story!Be well Brian

Alan Burnett said...

Oh nasty. That will teach you to enjoy yourself.

The Retired One said...

Oh Brian..I was laughing so hard but then I really started to feel bad for you....
I hope you are better by Thanksgiving! You can always scare the turkey to death. haha.
Take care and stay out of the poison ivy patches!!!!!

tattytiara said...

Oy! I'm a hiker, and losing my keys on the trail is my worst fear. Back before car keys cost $50/copy I actually hid a few around the parking lots of my favourite trailheads.

Hope you're fully recovered soon, but I'm glad you had such a great time getting into so much trouble!

rxBambi said...

Oh no!!! that sucks so bad! Did the kids get it too? Be sure you wash everything that touched the plants (socks, shoes, gloves, guns, etc) The oil can still spread... but not from the rash itself ;)

Ronda Laveen said...

Oh, yuck. You were definitely under a bad moon and and even badder poison oak bush. I'm sure you'll remember what that plant looked like next time.

Enjoy the hallucinations. And try to remember each and every one. They make great story reference material.

Not that I would know anything about hallucinations being a child of the 60s...no, nothing at all.

Monkey Man said...

With the exception of the Poison Ivy part, sounds like a lot of fun. Creates great visuals, too. Good luck with the PI, I am sure you will end up with all sorts of home remedies from your commentors.

JeffScape said...

Oh, yes... we're all about random drug testing here.

Betsy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to be laughing at your expense. Feel better!

You need to borrow a metal detector!

otin said...

And I didn't think that anything could give you a swelled head! LOL!

Yep, trying to help you out with a little humor! I hope that you are feeling better!

tori said...

I lost my car keys while trying to exercise the pup in a huge soccer field the other day. It was dark and had to use my cell phone for light while searching for them. Amazingly I found them. I hope you are back to normal soon. Maybe those crazy dreams will give you some writing ideas.

Liza said...

I saw Sloth in my sidebar, and had to come for a visit. I did love that movie way back when. Chunk and Sloth, what a pair. Awwww.
Thanks for sharing your comedy of errors Romulus.

Wings said...

It was worth it, though.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Oh, poor you!! My son had it once all over his body including his face and eyes. What an ordeal.

Take care of yourself and stop having so much fun!! :0)

I'll be breathlessly waiting for a weird comment.

smiles4u said...

Playing with nerf guns and building forts in the woods reminds me of my childhood and is a blast. Losing your kesy in the woods...not so much...getting poison oak rash all over your face...holy crap! I really hope you feel better soon. When I was 15 I had poison ivy all over my body and face...don't ask how that happened...lol. I can laugh now but then not so much.

Daniel said...

This post is so you. Smiles.

blueviolet said...

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry but it really is a big old mess of hilarity!

Mama Zen said...

Oh, that sounds horrible!

Hope you feel better soon!

Kathleen said...

You mean I only need to rub a bit of poison oak on my lips to get that supermodel look? Sheesh, if I'd know that I wouldn't have spent all that money on collagen injections. LOL!!!

Uh, huh, likely story on the hallucinations. Bet you found some peyote buttons mixed in with that batch of poison oak!

*snicker*

In all seriousness, Brian, hope you're on the mend soon. (And that no one's making fun of you *snicker, snicker*)

I'm off to my compassion class now.

enchantedoak said...

Well, after the charitable laughter has echoed away, you have my condolences and hope the fun outweighs the poison oak attack in your memory banks.

Gladys said...

Poor Bri-guy. I'll tell you what the doctor told me when I chipped a bone roller blading (at the age of 40+) What the HELL were you THINKING? You are NOT 18 anymore!

An Open Heart said...

OH, please, please, please put a weird comment on my blog....

But seriously, hope the ackamagalia goes away soon......

Wish there were pictures of the nerf war.....


S

subtorp77 said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Sorry Brian...I've had poison ivy( and oak )so many times I'm almost immune to it. And good thing ya'll had Nerf gun "bullets" instead of, oh, say...crab-apples! And vinegar will help that a bit...

Joanna Jenkins said...

Oh! My! Gawd!! You poor thing! How awful.

So maybe this will make you feel better-- My grandmother's "cure" for poison ivy when I was a kid was to dab CLOROX BLEACH all over my face! Seriously! I swear that's why I have never had a pimple in my entire life but I do have the driest skin ever! So that should make the steroids way easier to deal with???? Maybe not :-)

Hang in there.
jj

Protege said...

I am really sorry, how awful...
When I moved to Denmark ten years ago, I went through some very difficult time in my personal life and developed a condition based on stress: I had painful hives all over my body, where anything was touching it. I could not wear any pants or belts and I could barely walk from the swelling on my soles. So I can relate somewhat to how you feel. But it went away, and your face will be normal again soon.
Have a great Monday.
:)

Laszlo Brown said...

I played laser tag with a bunch of 8-year-olds this weekend and they fought a respectable battle. I was tempted to ask their parents for emails so we could have a rematch, but thought better of it.

Goofball said...

Face on fire: yep familiar
Unknown face looking back in mirror: yep familiar ...fortunately my eyes were untouched.
other body parts full of rash, glowing, itch....familiar


sounds like we had a bit of similar weekend experience, although I'm not on steroids but cortisone and I got rid of my allergic reaction within a night fortunately.

I hope your normal body is smiling back at you in the mirror really quickly! Get better soon!

kerrycharacters said...

You're in good company - just read Stephen King "On Writing". He had a bit of a brush with poison ivy himself but in a more sensitive area! Get well soon and I hope the hallucinations are good ones.

only a movie said...

Yikes, Brian, I hope you are healing by now. What a story, is right. :-) Glad you have a sense of humor.

Lorraine said...

Oh no...lol oh you poor thing, but think of the fun, I dare you to post a photo, bet you're the best looking monster ever, well slightly in competition with Angel (David Boreanaz) ;) Take care Brian, you poor thing!

Gaston Studio said...

OMG but I just had to laugh! And laugh, and laugh...

Be well (she said, snickering).

Jill said...

OH NO!!!! Poison Ivy is the worst!! Hope you have relief VERY SOON!!

willow said...

My youngest once got a horrid case of poison ivy on his face and we all still talk about what a monster he looked like! Just the your pic, too. I know you're not exaggerating. Feel better soon.

Cabo said...

Sloth on LSD. My God am I going to have fun with the text messages I'm gonna send you for the next few days.

Nessa said...

I am sorry for your pain, but you are entertaining, which I'm sure was your intention all along, right?

Thanksgiving MeMe

TechnoBabe said...

Were you the only one crawling around in the poison oak or did the boys get to share the experience with you? It started out sounding like such fun.

Shadow said...

oh you're a nut. but the nicest possible nut! get well soon!!!

Brian Miller said...

i was the only one to be graced with the glowing red swelling rash...i guess that makes me the winner of the consolation prize. smiles.

better today, everything drying nicely and the number of ants crawling on my skin has reduced from the thousands to the hundreds. suppposedly only 3 more days...we will see. lol.

sometimes you just have to laugh. tears may spread it even more.

Hilary said...

Oh ack.. you poor thing. At least it didn't zap your sense of humour. Hope you're feeling much better by now.

Goose said...

Hanging out in the woods playing with nerf guns sounds like a blast! Getting poison oak, not so much. Hope you feel better soon!!

Meeko Fabulous said...

That sucks! Hope you're feeling better soon! :) (I'm back!)

Jessie said...

this is great ... i know, sometimes my sense of humor is really sick ... however ... it sounds like you're on the mends so i don't feel too guilty about lmao!!!

take care!

smiles,

Paul Benjamin said...

Wow, sorry to hear about that! Thanks for giving me a nice chuckle, but I really do feel bad for ya, pal!

Baino said...

Oh nooooo . .see there's a price to pay for having fun! I don't think we have poison oak here . . .one of the few poisonous things that won't get us. I'm tempted to call you a scruffy lookin' nerfherder!

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Ouch! That doesn't sound too good. get well soon, friend!

Barb said...

Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for our kids! I hope you're feeling better.

...mmm... said...

Well thank goodness it wasn;t permament. The price we pay for fun with our kids, eh? :)

This makes me think of that poor, poor woman who had her face ripped of by her friends's chipanzee--her hands too. Talk about swollen and flaming. She even lost her eyes. So incredibly tragic and horrid. I don;t know how some people go on.

Alsn's comment above is so pointedly funny!

Smart Mouth Broad said...

You poor dear. I feel your pain. I am a poison ivy magnet. It just finds me. I don't even have to go outside. I think the dog brings it to me. ????

But now that you mention it, I'm wondering if some strategically placed poison ivy around my lips might prove to be like cheap botox? Hmmmm?

Feel better and enjoy the hallucinations.

jake (to the) holla said...

HA props for using the picture of Sloth from the Goonies as a representation of your unfortunate condition.... hope it's gone down significantly since you posted this!

oh and have a great thanksgiving in bristol! do you have family there?

Rob said...

Dang dude. I hope you get better soon. Very funny post.

Daryl said...

OY and VEY

I know its not nice to laugh when someone is having a bad time but I couldnt help it .. congrats on TPOW award and I hope you are all better soon

Moannie said...

I'm so sorry, but you did make me laugh. A post of the week mention from Hilary might be some consolation.

gaelikaa said...

Oh, Brian! Stuff just happens; isn't that so! POTW congrats, btw..

kys said...

I hope all your hallucinations are good ones!

MaggieGem said...

Great story, hope all well by now though!

Congrats on your POTW from Hillary, it's well deserved!

Pat said...

Okay, I take back my snarky comment I made in the other post about you recooperating over poison oak on your face. I'm behind in reading all your posts. But I'm reading them in the wrong order I guess, newest to oldest! LOL! Well, at least you had fun GETTING the damn stuff on your face!

blunoz said...

Man, that's the stuff of legend. Glad you had fun with the kids and sorry to hear about losing the keys and the poison oak. Great post! Congrats on POTW!