Thursday, November 19, 2009

55 - some bar

through glass
darkly,
his eyes
gleem,
rekindling spirits,
older
than time,
as
he slogs
through
amber seas
one
more time
seeking...

numb solace
and
easy burn
of
liquid grace
washing
his pain
away,
falling for
lies
he told
himself
too many
times...

broken shards
leak
yellow-brown
tears
as he
takes
two steps
on
bended knees.

Tell a story in 55 words. Want to give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

74 comments:

Alix said...

As for myself, I love Killian's Red.

Beautiful. And meaningful.

*hic*

Brian Miller said...

alix, all i can do is smile.

Chef Kar said...

Yeah, another that I can resonate with. Now on bend on two knees for a different reason ~ much healthier and far more spiritual. Loved it as always.

Mine is up.

Friday Flash 55 ~ The Boy on The Tram

smarmoofus said...

You always use your 55 words so powerfully. I'm in awe.

-smarmoofus

Brian Miller said...

chef, right there with you...and that is the image i was going for in the last lines...

smarmoofus, ty.

otin said...

That is obviously a hard place to be. I give anyone my full respect who has been able to overcome situations like this, and anyone who is fighting through it, my full support!

Susan at Stony River said...

Oh boy. I've had alcoholic friends; how you managed all this in just 55 words amazes me!
Beautiful and difficult too.

Vodka Mom said...

i love the way you weave a tale with your incredible use of words.


it's a talent........that we all get to enjoy...

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Oh Brian - what you can accomplish with a mere 55 words. Moving.

Susan Anderson said...

numb solace...beautiful...just beautiful. Are you sure you aren't Irish? LOL Happy 55!
I'll be up at midnight.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

*sigh* What a tale you tell in only 55 words. This was some strong STUFF. :-)

Daniel said...

Kind of been there, though I didn't hit the bottom. Dry for more than 1 year. The Lord caught me before I fell too far.

Nancy said...

Well written 55 words. Sad.

numb solace
and
easy burn
of
liquid grace
washing
his pain
away,

smiles4u said...

"numb solace and easy burn of liquid grace washing his pain
away.." Brian, you tell the story so well. You amaze me with your way with words.

Alicia @ boylerpf said...

A tough place to be staring at that cool amber liquid..and the last few words on bended knees is more likely where the answer will be. Always a great 55!

Bubbie said...

The whole thing was very powerful. And I TOO loved the numb solace. I don't even drink - never have. . .but the burning of the drink washing his pain away.. I felt it.
The last sentence startled me and once again, painted a picture.
Thank you for inspiring.

Sandi McBride said...

Your poetry is always soulful. It's a pleasure to come visit...and dinner is at 1:45 on Thursday...don't be late.
Sandi

G-Man said...

Well...That was brilliant!
Great imagry...Perfect 55!
Thank You Brian for adding such a touch of class to the Friday Funfest. Thanks for playing, and have a Kick Ass Week-End...G

Betsy said...

I think I like these 55's the best!

Alice Audrey said...

Painfully vivid. Excellent.

Prayer Girl said...

Been there and done that.

Just like Chef Kar, I'm now on bended knees too, but in prayer.

Loved your 55.

PG

blueviolet said...

Those days are long behind me. :)

kys said...

Not much of a drinker any more. (Thank goodness.) Back in the day my bended knees were in front of the toilet I was heaving in. (Thank goodness I didn't find a snake then!)

Ronda Laveen said...

Great 55...looking forward to next week.

MomsJournal said...

Amber seas and numb solace really paint the picture. Great 55!

tattytiara said...

Woah. That hurt.

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Again a great 55, love the play on words. So vivid felt like I was sitting at the bar, and the knee thing, yep, been doing a lot of praying lately. Have a great weekend.

Mine is up.

anthonynorth said...

So much meaning in so few words. Excellently done.

Protege said...

I admire those who can write poetry... And you do it so very well with only 55 words.
You should be published.
:))

Larry said...

nice brian always nice and always so many commenters which means good reads.

Mine is up also.
Kingfisher



Goofball said...

I pity the person in your post, I feel sorry for his broken life and hope he can pick himself up again

Lorraine said...

Whatever gets you through the night, will kill you in the morning...well said Brian :)

willow said...

Moving piece, Brian. Liquid grace...so sad and true.

Hootin' Anni said...

That, my fellow fiction 55'r, is ever so powerful.

Mine's posted HERE if you'd like to visit. Just scroll down below my Friday's Show n Tell.

Happy weekend to you and yours.

Madame DeFarge said...

A fine choice of 55 words. Far better than some people do with 10 times as many.

Gaston Studio said...

You did it again Brian!

Shadow said...

brian, this is gripping. harsh. and terrifyingly true. thank goodness for the end...

Tall Kay said...

"falling for the lies he told himself one more time"...I can sooo relate! You described the pain very well. Thank God there is a way out through A.A! :o)

sarah said...

beautiful.

TechnoBabe said...

Leaving the security of the lies and giving it up to face truth is so hard. You write about such a harsh reality in such few words. My hat is off to you!

Dulce said...

WoW
That's a prayer.
Beautifully written in just 55. As alwyas!
WEll done!

VE said...

You mean after all these years I could just be washing pain away? Damn...learned something new again today.

Excellent 55 as always, Brian

Jessie said...

vivid -- strong -- extremely well done!

smiles,

enchantedoak said...

What a poet in 55 words.
This week I abandon poetry for sex. My 55 is up.

Mona said...

Falling for lies he told himself to many times...how often we do that!

Great thought provoking poem!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Your words are hauntingly beautiful. Yet wierdly make me wht a scotch neat.

MIke Kilgore said...

Great imagery, Brian, makes me both want and fear a drink....

Mama Zen said...

Beautiful ending!

Monkey Man said...

Surrender. Yup. Great 55. My 55 is HERE.

Quirkyloon said...

Nicely done!

I followed you from VE's place.

Do you also have gnomes?

*smile*

Dr.John said...

A message 55. Well done.

Nessa said...

Very good 55. You conjure up amazing pictures.

Flash 55 - Favors

Calli said...

This is my first visit Brian. I found you through Bonnie's blog.

Your 55 is a winner. I really liked it!

Thanks for a great visit~
Calli

Colette Amelia said...

Brian you are indeed an artist! Wonderful!

AngelMay said...

I'm afraid that I'm SO not a "drinker" that I didn't even get it at all until I read the comments. This is not to say that I don't take a social drink once in a while... I do. I have just never thought much about "drink" in that fashion. I guess I'm lucky. Very nice, Brian... Now that I know what was going on. ;o)

Brian Miller said...

sorry i have not been around much today, something bit me on the eye brow last night and the right side of my face is very reminiscent of quasimoto! better now...off to read!

Thom said...

WOW...what a powerful 55. Very well done and in only 55 words. Fantastic :) Have a great Friday and weekend ahead :)

Ofira Sephiroth said...

Great 55. I have 10 years sobriety.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

That's one powerful 55, Brian! Killer words.
Smiles!

Brian Miller said...

way to go ofira!

green eyed, nice story today yourself!

Linda - Nickers and Ink said...

Powerful!

Liza said...

This is an incredible piece Brian.

Pat said...

Brian,
How you manage to convey so much thought and feeling in a mere 55 words just boggles my mind. Wow! Bravo!

Nara Malone said...

Powerful and beautiful, Brian. I liked the image of "slogging though amber seas"

staceyjwarner said...

you make me question my writing capabilities,lol...no i'm being serious.

much love

swapnap said...

Just loved the flow...amber seas...numb solace...liquid grace..made me read this couple of times.Great 55.

Felicitas said...

A very powerful piece. You always paint such incredible imagery with your words.

rxBambi said...

god you are so talented. when you're rich and famous will you still be my bloggy buddy?

Kay said...

never at a lose for words... always captivating!

clean and crazy said...

very romantic, i think. a sailor and his love for the sea. great 55, mine is up too.

Fragrant Liar said...

Wow, nicely done. I could identify.

Candie Bracci said...

Superb!

Kathleen said...

Such a cunning and baffling disease . . .

Well done, Obi-One

Jadey said...

You are amazing and that was just very well done. I hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving. I am four days late at posting but its up