Thursday, October 22, 2009

55 - vessel

your passion breathes
like slow fog across
the landscape of my skin,
leaving red trails of desire
stretching deep to my heart.

who do you see
behind your closed eyes
when we make love?

is it me?

or am i just a vessel
for your fantasies?

do you remember when
your eyes were once open?


Tell a story in 55 words. Want to give it a try or just read more, go see g-man.

75 comments:

Wendy said...

Oooo, I hate to tell you how close to reality this can be. (definitely in my younger years).
Very well said. Will check out the link.
Thanks for your congrats on my POTW award from Hilary.

Oh My Goddess said...

Wow! Great job on that 55 word challenge!

Personally, my body is much happier when my mind is not in the same room with me when I am enjoying a passionate interlude.

Wings said...

Risque today, eh?

smiles4u said...

Very nice.

Daniel said...

This is just perfect. Perhaps it is because I know this all too well.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Great 55 Brian. A question we all ask at one point or another - beautifully expressed.

AngelMay said...

Brian, you have gone where angels fear to tread. ;o)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Great 55!
More please.

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

Beautiful 55. Sad, too. I hope you have a lovely weekend.

I'm right here ...
http://boomerbabybliss-bfs.blogspot.com/2009/10/flash-55-fiction_22.html

willow said...

your passion breathes
like slow fog across
the landscape of my skin

Fabulous opening line. Evocative piece, Brian!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Passion is something that every person possesses. If we are lucky, we find a person who is worthy of our passion.
Love, passion, throw some children into the mix and you've got a wonderful life.
My life would be dull if I wasn't able to find someone to share my passion, love and joy with

HA! That's 55!

Great post!

Yodood said...

It takes a master wordsmith … well, at least a cunning linguist to describe lovemaking in 55 words and not seem like a premature explaination. Bravo.

Louise said...

Thanks for your visit last week. Glad you did because I love your writing. This and the next are awesome!

MW said...

Ohhhh..I like this one. Interesting thoughts...what does a lover think/see when they close their eyes...hmmm...very interesting. Great job.

Hit 40 said...

I am just trying to keep the crap of the week outta my head to focus!!! This is probably why a drink helps first!!

Leah said...

This is my favorite yet of your many wonderful poems.

staceyjwarner said...

wow, this one has beauty and TEETH...yowza!

Excellent!

much love and happy friday!

liza said...

WOW! 55 is my new favorite number. Great piece.

Kathleen said...

Be careful what you ask for :)

Fabulous 55, as if you'd produce anything less!

Here's mine:
http://inlindenhills.blogspot.com/2009/10/homecoming.html

Goofball said...

you raised a question I'd not like to know the answer too. Very powerful post

Candie Bracci said...

Oh wow,this question that no one is willing to ask.

Baino said...

I've seen these around the traps but haven't had the courage. Sometimes Brian, these questions are best not asked. Good response to the challenge though.

otin said...

Brian! Whoa!!!! That was such a moving piece!

Matthew said...

You're incredible evocative. I love stopping by.

Valerie said...

You are incredibly brave, Brian.

jabblog said...

Hmmm, food for thought there. Hope the answer will be the one you wish for ;-)

boots said...

eww a question we all ask but rarely so beautifully and ummm very alluring 55! Some times you just gotta go some place else in your head!

Nessa said...

Oh, wow. Very deep 55.

Flash 55 - Home of Our Own

Hootin' Anni said...

a slow fog across my skin....whoa. Love that.

My 55 is posted now, stop by if you can. And, as always, scroll down below my Show n Tell Friday submission to read along with me...

HERE IT IS

Have a terrific weekend.

Chef Kar said...

Brian ~ I love it. Dare I say publicly that there is nothing more romantic than to have a lover gaze at you during lovemaking ~ seems to put doubt further away. I miss that.

You continue to amaze me with your talent. I have been glued to your blog as of late, clinging to every word. You are a real gem.

You'll find my 55 here:

Friday Flash 55 ~ Drifting.

Enjoy your weekend,

Chef Kar

Gaston Studio said...

Very brave Brian and very well done!

Dulce said...

Wow...this is a great 55... Oh my! what making love can lead us to... after a long time doing so!!!
I love this. Beautifully depicted in a poem!
Thank you Brian

Lulda Casadaga said...

ooooh damn...that is intense! Superb 55 my friend. Keep em coming... ;/

Prayer Girl said...

You and Shadow seem to be on similar pages today.

I enjoyed this 55.

PG

VE said...

It comes as no surprise to find your 55 excellent... I like the premise.

I took a stab at a 55 today for the first time. I don't have near the veteran experience with them though...

anthonynorth said...

A question full of meaning and depth. Great writing.

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

Expressive and deeply introspective - questions so often felt, yet not often revealed. Well done!

Ofira Sephiroth said...

Mercy, I'll sleep with you if you keep writing like that...lmao..j/k. This is very powerful.

Alice Audrey said...

Aw. So sad to be reaching out for what was once readily at hand. But does it matter if one's loved one is true in every other way?

TechnoBabe said...

Okay, that's it, no more closed eyes!

Meeko Fabulous said...

As always, you're writing captivates. 55 words? You know Meeko is blabs way too much for that . . . :)

Fandango said...

More of that romance stuff. we dragons think you spend to much time thinking about it.
But it does make a great 55.

Thanks for the comment on ours.

Liza said...

I like this Brian!
"Just a vessel for your fantasies?" Is that so bad? LOL

Pat said...

Wow! Powerful!

Jill said...

Well, Brian this is well done...being the wordy type, 55 words seems QUITE impossible to ME yet you do it with great content!

Nancy said...

Hmmm - I'll never tell.

buffalodick said...

Damn well written! I used to say, I'm still married and once I close my eyes- she's anybody I wish her to be! Women do the same, I'm sure!

clean and crazy said...

great 55, something in the coffee this week? shadow and larry also had a teaser like this you all in cahoots together?

Tall Kay said...

All these sexy 55's are making me, well you know :o)

I tried to fix the linky thing and made it worse. Thanks for letting me know...and for the intro to Otin. You guys are in a class all of your own. I love your writing!

Bubbie said...

Shockingly good. Now I have to become a follower. I put my hand to my mouth.

Brian Miller said...

thanks for the love all...been playing at this one for a few weeks...we are so visual, especially us guys...yet when it comes to intimacy, we often leave that out at some point...

chef, you nailed...sex is better with eyes open...because then you are with the one you are with...

Akelamalu said...

We all have fantasies but hopefully not all of the time. When you've been together a long time it's good to keep your eyes open again. You said it so well. :)

Thom said...

I love this! So deep and moving. Very deep and moving and sensual :) Love it. Have a great weekend and week ahead :)

Mom of Opiate Addict said...

Pretty passionate 55 here! This questions runs through everyone's mind at some point in life. Nicely put.

James Goodman said...

oh my goodness, this is so touching. I can totally relate, not in my present circumstance, but in the life before I have now, this rings so true. Very moving 55 indeed. Thanks for commenting on mine humble offering...

Jayme Malvagio said...

Wow, that is a great 55, Brian. I am stirred by the implications... Thanks for the comment on my 55.

hope said...

Very nicely done; just the right mix of sensual and questioning.

Mona said...

This is so true for most of the people!

Susan at Stony River said...

Whoa.... is your narrator really wanting an answer to that question?

What a powerful 55!!

Mama Zen said...

Oh, I love this one! Absolutely love it.

otin said...

You may have a bigger Thesaurus, but I bet that I have a bigger dictionary! LMAO!!!!!!!!

Felicitas said...

The way you write... I'm sure it's still you! Awesome 55.

Protege said...

Sensual, evocative and poetic. You do the "55" so well.
:)

The Retired One said...

Ok. I need a FAN now to cool down.
55 words have a LOT of power to emote feelings, now...don't they?

blueviolet said...

That was really good. And does anyone really want to know that answer?

rxBambi said...

Hey. You guys aren't supposed to be thinking that stuff. Just assume it's you and no one will get hurt...
Besides, its usually just some hot guy in a kilt, no one you need to worry about...

G-Man said...

This is Awesome!
Marvelous piece of writing.
Excellent 55 My Friend!
You got all the babes drooling...
You did your job!!
Thank You for this HOT contribution, You Rock The Planet!
Have a Glorious Week-End....G

Larry said...

Nice Brian I like it see you next 55 the week goes by so fast. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. I appreciate them.


This Blog Of Mine

Eaton Bennett said...

Excellent poetic portrayal of what is often the case. Thanks for the visit and comment. :)

Ocean Girl said...

Powerfully sensual, yet sad.

Vodka Mom said...

i love it.


as usual.

Drahdrah said...

Very powerful ! I hope it's not something you're currently going through !!!

Kay said...

definately relatable. and very well written.

G Lucciano said...

wonderful post..
Very close to home there..

Jingle said...

breath taking piece,
reality hurts,
but your way of expression is absolutely amazing!

I think that your early work shines well, it is compact, powerful, and well done!

cheers!


xo