Thursday, October 8, 2009

55-park

leaves fall,
a shower of rainbows,
blazing in the blue sky sun.

laughter floats,
a crisp gentle breeze,
singing against upraised arms of trees.

sorry sir, but you have to leave.

loves free,
an old solider's plee,
slinging his rucksack across his shoulder.

cardboard reads,
will work for food,
humming my country tis of thee.

58 comments:

DineometerDeb said...

Excellent. I am not usually a fan of (poetry? Prose?--dont even know the correct term) but the sentiment was beautifully expressed.

Brian Miller said...

thanks deb. the challenge today was to tell a story in 55 words, an intriguing puzzle...i dont know what you call what i do sometimes either....lol.

Hit 40 said...

We have a lot more panhandlers right now in Columbus. Very sad. And...

I am concerned the economy is not turning around yet despite the BS the government is trying to spin.

blueviolet said...

That's an all too common reality now.

Jasmine said...

A beautiful poem. The picture your words paint are how I visualise autumn to be. Thank you :)

willow said...

Sad story. Excellent poem.

Meeko Fabulous said...

Even in 55 words you still grasp our attention and manage to tell and entire meaningful story.

♥ Braja said...

If I end up homeless I hope it's near you....

MW said...

What a gift you have. Whether you have 5 words or 55 or 555, you paint a beautiful picture with your words.

myrtle beached whale said...

very moving 55. Thanks for visiting my blog.

Brian Miller said...

hit 40, i hear a lot of talk but the unemployment rate keeps growing...

blueviolet, trust me, i know...

jasmine, ty.

willow, from you high praise. have read enough of your to mimic greatness. smiles.

meeko, ty.

braja, you know i'd feed ya. i am a sucker for people in need.

mw, ty.

myrtle beach, thanks for the return visit. 55 was fun this week.

Kathleen said...

Masterful, good sir! So glad to see you play with 55!

Alice Audrey said...

Sounds like the scene in front of WalMart this morning.

Ronda Laveen said...

Telling a story in 60-100 words is hard. This is amazing and, sadly, too often true.

Chef Kar said...

Beautiful and sad all told so well in 55 words. Nicely done Brian.

My 55 is up HERE. Enjoy your weekend.

Chef Kar

Maggie May said...

You are really good at poetry and this one met the challenge of 55 words in an excellent way.
Nuts in May

Alix said...

Oh wow. I got choked up.

"humming my country tis of thee."

anthonynorth said...

Excellently done. Poignant without going over the top. I liked it.

Protege said...

Although solemn, I feel the poem carries a hidden optimism. I liked it.
:)

Valerie said...

Brian, that was good. You are a true word artist.

♥ Boomer ♥ said...

A wonderful 55!!!! So meaningful. Thank you!

Hootin' Anni said...

Wow...just wow!!!
This is quite poignant.

You've done a super terrific job. And from what I gather at the 55 comment hub, this is your first time writing for us? I'm in awe. Can't wait for your next week's entry!!!!


Mine's posted below my Friday Show n Tell...it's kinda creepy this week.
Here's the link
Click for my 55

Goofball said...

homeless being chased away, "asked to leave"...unfortunately an international phenomenon

Daniel said...

Forgotten, left behind heroes. Perhaps only those that served can fully appreciate what has been given, what has been sacrificed.

Candie Bracci said...

This touches me more than you think!Wonderful!

clean and crazy said...

this is sad and true, what a beautiful 55, mine is up too

Betsy said...

Excellent as usual...

Jill said...

I agree with others...is this continually on the up rise? So sad...

55 words...that is a tough one.

Lorraine said...

wouldn't it be a magical world if conscience came before all thoughts...then you would hear 'Enjoy your day sir! Would you like an umbrella? a bagel?
You are so much more than an excellent writer, what you say between the lines is beautiful

Mango Girl said...

Very touching.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Very touching...it's an unfortunate scene - seen in far too many places...

Jadey said...

This was a terrific post and it left an image in my head. I hope you have a terrific weekend. My post is up.

Wings said...

:(

The Retired One said...

Indeed!
We live in the far, far north and there are homeless people here. I shudder when I think of it because we got such cold, extreme temps. in the winter, which begins very early here. I try to donate to the local shelters as much as I can.

subtorp77 said...

Brian, ditto what Blueviolet said. Been there( tho' briefly )...

g-man said...

Excellent story indeed...

It Was TERIFFIC!!

Each week, myself and a very talented band of bloggers, writes a story or a poem, that is EXACTLY 55 words!!
It can be on any subject..
If any of your friends care to join in the fun. It's called Friday Flash 55.
It's very simple..On Friday, post the 55 on your blog, then come Visit me...The G-Man, and tell me that you've posted. You'll be visited by fellow 55er's(just like today), and you be exposed to some very witty and talented writing.
I invite ALL to join the fun, it's easy, it's challenging, it's creative, and best of all it's an quick post for a Friday!

Thanks for playing, and have a Kick-Ass Week-End...G

jabblog said...

There will be many more such souls on the streets and in the jails for years to come. Just think, all those trained killers and some with serious psychiatric problems. Thank goodness for the charities like Help for Heroes here in the UK.

Ocean Girl said...

I learned the meaning of the word prose a few days ago.

Vicki said...

Love it, beautiful!

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

Brian, All change, all eternal - so be this fall and your "55-park" - 'tis faith and resolve that permit endurance beyond the immediate political dictates. Great poem - well done.

Kate Hanley said...

I am always impressed with your posts but even more impressed by your constant presence in the blogosphere. I see you comments on every blog I read and then you have time to not only write beautiful posts but also take care of your family. I'm just wondering, do you sleep?

Brian Miller said...

sorry kate, you caught me napping there. i do sleep, when i need it. its a big world, so many places to explore.

Catherine @ Sharp Words said...

Gorgeous.

Monkey Man said...

Hits home in every town across America these days. Excellent 55. Glad you jumped in. Hope to read you again. My 55 is also up.

Jessie said...

great imagery!

thank you for stopping by -- please do so again.

Thom said...

Thank you for stopping by my playground. I appreciate it. Well done. Sad and beautiful all one one :) Have a great weekend :) We both talked about leaves :)

Lynn said...

You made me see it. Great 55!

otin said...

It is ashame how many veterans end up in shelters and homeless. Seems like we need to do more for them!

Unknown Mami said...

I live in San Francisco and this really applies to my surrounding.

Nancy said...

Poor guy.

Prayer Girl said...

First, thanks for commenting on my blog and welcome. It's wonderful meeting fellow bloggers when they comment or become followers.

Very thoughtful 55 - says a lot in just 55 words.

PG

lime said...

oh if only this were a piece of fiction.

well done though. very well done.

Joanna Jenkins said...

That's what it looks like on so many corners in Los Angeles.... so sad.
Great poem~

Connie said...

I like this 55. Excellent.

Bubbie said...

Oh my gosh. . .that's the best one I've read! I'm new to blogspot and haven't been real compelled to comment just for the sake of someone reading my blog. Yours was well worth the trip. Art with words. Breathtaking.

Nessa said...

Very nice 55. Lots of interesting images to absorb.

Mona said...

This reminds me so much of Robert Frost's poem's lines " the woods are lovely dark and deep/ but I have promises to keep/ and miles to go before I sleep/ and miles to go before I sleep."

Eaton Bennett said...

A lovely piece of poetry, aaaannnd
another poet. Look forward to reading more of your 55's. Thanks for visiting and commenting on my 55! :)