Tuesday, October 6, 2009

10DOM: Trapped

Pop....Sizzle...Pop...Pop...Sizzle...background noise echoing in the murky netherworld of her mind, dragging her back to consciousness. Earth, the gritty taste sours her swollen tongue as it makes its way around her mouth, pressing teeth for tenderness. Wincing, she sets off a wheezing cough, breath squeezing into her lungs, like flat balloons under the oppressive weight pushing down on her from all sides. Pushing her eyelids open, she is rewarded with further darkness. Only her fingers felt the stinging freedom in the open air against the sticky nubs were nails used to reside. Clawing furrows in the soil through the pain, she does all she knows to do....SCREAM!

Sunlight plays against the rainbow of leaves clinging to twisted branches, an artist playground framing the winding asphalt leading to home. Layers of voices, various conversations blend into a cacophony of noise competing with the songs pushing out of the radio speakers. The weekend was refreshing, among friends, a nice retreat from the daily treadmill of work. It would be nice to get home and fall into the crisp comfort of cold sheets.

Cresting the hill, black snakes of rubber create erratic waves in the asphalt, black smoke rising in a haze over the twisted metal of an overturned car. Time slows, warping to surreal as the screams pierce the silence that has fallen over our camaraderie as we pull to the side. Our soles tromp in rhythm, barking orders...call 911...stop traffic...first aid kit...someone trapped under the car...a lone bloody hand splayed, reaching for hope.

We are here, you are not alone. We are going to help.

Red rags litter the side of the road, where she lay staring at the fading blue sky, each breath taking her one step away from the bondage she narrowly escaped. Driving back to school, I looked down for one instance and...shock riddles her coherence. A long sirens wail heralds the arrival of the professionals, come to save the day. Returning to our van an eerie calm settles over us, reminding us of times we felt trapped.

----------

Accepting help has not always been easy for me, you can blame it on manhood, as evidenced by our lack of stopping to ask for directions, but I imagine we all struggle with it. Its so much easier to be the hero. Its a trap in and of itself, playing the self sufficient lummox. Really its about pride...showing you have what it takes or feeling you have to prove who you are.

There is an angel out there tonight that brought a tear to my eye when I opened an unexpected package in the mail and found a laptop. Thank you, I am humbled in my joy, no longer trapped by the one hour of time online at the library.

We all need help, sometimes we just have to learn to accept it.

43 comments:

Brian Miller said...

I will respect the anonymity of the giver...they are pretty amazing though.

Wings said...

That is a great gift! Well deserved. :)

only a movie said...

Wow, Brian.

Amazing on both counts.

xxoo

Unknown Mami said...

Being a gracious receiver is a skill.

I'm glad you accepted the "help".

Megan said...

Sweet!

Brian Miller said...

yay. i can actually reply in real time now too!

wings, its amazing, really!

only, ty, off to visit your other...thanks for the invite.

unknown mami, thanks for dropping by today.

megan, oh yeah!

dopey1 said...

That is a wonderful gift!! Like Wings said, well deserved. I have gotten alot of the "help" you speak of through your gift of writing, the kind of help that you don't ask for or sometimes don't know you need until someone points it out to you. So thank you!!

Meeko Fabulous said...

That is amazing! I can't picture anyone more deserving! Maybe I AM being selfish because I love to read your writing. LOL! :) But you ARE a great dad and that counts for double in my book. Cheers friend!

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Brian: What an amazing thing to happen! Makes one have faith in humankind. Someone out there believes in you and wants you to continue to share your incredible talent.

I'm happy for you Brian, and I say thank you to the gift-giver as well, for awakening another level of hope within.

Ronda Laveen said...

Brian, this is so amazing. After I e-mailed you about mobil bloggin and you mentioned your broken computer. I did a "coning" for you to receive one.

And so it is~!

Sande said...

Interdependency is a really nice place to be isn't it?

Joanna Jenkins said...

I'm speechless by both the accident and the generosity.

The angels are singing.

Kathleen said...

Sigh...this makes me crazy happy!

Shadow said...

your story gave me the chills... how easily it can happen. and the gift you received in the mail, wow!

The Things We Carried said...

Oh Brian, that is just awesome! You must have the tools you need to write! You have a gift. hey, do you ever read Billy Coffy? I think you'd like his blog.

Protege said...

What a wonderful gift, one in a million. The best gift ever for a talented writer.
My Irishman uses the term "they" all the time.;)

otin said...

Wow! If anyone is listening, I could use a new Plasma screen! LMAO! Just kidding! It is great that people get to do what they love to do! I am sure that you have probably given that person a gift and did not even realize it!

Yodood said...

I doubt the new convenience to your writing can much improve on this sample.

Ocean Girl said...

We may not give to receive but I think we receive when we give.

TechnoBabe said...

You are so right, for some of us it is difficult to be able to ask for help. Bless you.

♥ Braja said...

That's a lesson I've learned well and long, these past months since the accident....learning to receive requires humility, a deep and quiet humility...which in itself brings more of what we need to us without asking---just as you experienced. No surprise; your humility weaves itself through every post....

♥ Braja said...

And then I read you're now able to reply in real time. I can picture you sitting there at your laptop now....and the excitement is tangible at this end :))

Then of course Otin goes and demands A PLASMA TV!!! lol....

Brian Miller said...

braja, and here i sit just waiting for your visit. lol.

Travel & Dive Girl said...

What an awesome gift! It's nice to know that the kindness of others never goes out of style. You deserve it...

Daniel said...

Most awesome post. I love how it all tied together and how things worked out for everyone.

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Brian:)

Amazing experiences in real life. Sometimes help comes when we least expect it and we are overwhelmed with joy.

Beautifully written in your inimitable style.

Have a nice day Brian:)
Joseph

Tom said...

another stellar post...good luck with the new toy.

subtorp77 said...

Whoa. That's really something, Brian. A blessing, yes?

Brian Miller said...

a blessing indeed subs! for both.

Nancy said...

What a wonderful gift for a wonderful writer, father, husband. Well deserved, Brian. You give so much - it's okay to take a little, too, sometimes.

Cinnamon said...

One hour at the library??? Oh my goodness, think what you will achieve now! You certainly deserve the gift Brian :)

Really enjoyed the 'Trapped' story-you aptly portrayed the fear and feelings of helplessness. Good job :)

Ekanthapadhikan said...

Hi Brian. Let me be honest with you that I didn't go through this post. But I'd sure come back and go through this in leisure. I'm here for a different reason.

I've got something for you in my latest post. Please pay a visit and here's the link for your convenience - http://truthabtmeself.blogspot.com/2009/10/my-fist-blog-award.html

Lilwave said...

Beautifully written. I'm very guilty of not letting people help me. I never really thought about it being a pride issue but now that you mention it, that is exactly it. It's hard to be humble sometimes and admit our weaknesses. Congrats on the puter!

JeffScape said...

Only here can I read about an accident that sounds so lovely. Heh...

Welcome to 10thDoM, Brian!

Baino said...

What a wonderful gesture. I had no idea that you were blogging from the library.You're so prolific that I guess I took it for granted that you had a computer at home. Great story and a lovely gift. Receiving gifts graciously, no matter what they are can be as hard as receiving a compliment. Rhonda's coning seems to work!

Candie Bracci said...

You deserve it big times!Happy for you!

Pastor Sharon said...

That was lovely!

Kathy's Klothesline said...

Bless the giver of the gift to the gifted! The blessing is in the giving, you know, we all figure that out when we "grow up" and have children. Like you, I have been on the receiving end a lot lately. It is humbling to say the least. I comfort myself with the knowledge that I enjoyed giving when I had the means to do so and life always seem to come full circle......

Betsy said...

An angel indeed! And your gift is a wonderful one! This brings a smile to my face! Enjoy!

blueviolet said...

That is just incredible, Brian.

The Retired One said...

Awesome!
I bet the person who gave it to you feels even better than you did upon receiving it.
It is a sign that you now have to get your work published. You have been given the tool/gift to do so.
You know that, don't you?

Not For Jellyfish said...

I'm happy you got a laptop and even happier that you write! A fabulous piece on the theme.

Yoork said...

"We all need help, sometimes we just have to learn to accept it."

- Agreed, and humbly so.