Seeing Red

it was a sunny, the day i killed her. she never saw it coming. neither did i.

air whistles through the open window, my arm on the sill, my hand playing fighter pilot in the wind created by the passing of my grey truck. the ramp off the interstate winds through the lush green fields, leading into the asphalt jungle of the city. summer heat rises in a haze between the black and yellow line of the road, into the rich blue sky polka dotted with white puffy clouds.

green fades to yellow then red as we drag to a stop at the intersection, the breeze a sweet relief. smiles grace my lips, at two little boys playing with a red ball, bouncing it back and forth on the sidewalk. the laughter of their game spreads infectious glee as we wait our turn to move on toward our destiny.

all is right with the world, happy.

a dark mirage of movement out of the corner of my eye, a brief glimpse at what is coming, before my face caves in from a crushing blow. my pulse races with my mind, my hands clasp my broken face and the world swims in my tear filled eyes. blows rain upon my lap and chest, as i try to bat away the unknown assailant. screaming until my lungs ache, i stomp and kick until my truck rocks on its tires. heads turn and gaping mouths match the wide eyes in their awe at my plight.

arms splayed, the bird lay dead under the sole of my dirty work boot, its funeral dirge played out by my heart against my chest.

i imagine the bird had no malicious intent when she flew through my window. in you turn the movie back one frame, i had no malicious intent in my heart, just an awe for a beautiful day. in a split second, anger and fear took a life.

kinda like the words that come out of our mouth, when we let our emotions get the best of us, at the most inconvenient times. a slow car. the lady with a thousand coupons in your line at the supermarket. a spilled drink at the supper table. when something messes up our perfect little picture of life.

we all get angry. some people use it to change lives. some people use it to destroy them.