Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Marinara

Today was pizza day at school. Logan and I have a standing date on pizza day. There is just something about school pizza. At least there was when I was in school. Now, it's just not as good. Or maybe my memory of it, is greater than what it was.

The blue plastic chairs seem smaller, but they still have the tendency to cut off all circulation below the tuchus, leaving your legs all tingly when you stand, like exploding firecrackers racing the blood back to your feet.

Two little boys at the table started it. The it that the monitors never see until green peas fly through the air, ending up in someones milk or someone has to go to the school nurse to extract a plastic fork from unmentionable places. But this one had to do with marinara sauce.

Marinara sauce. Why didn't I get marinara sauce as a kid. It was all PB&J, chips and the obligatory fruit your parents prayed that you ate, even as it made the hollow thump in the grey rubbermaid trash can by the window where you deposit your tray.

There is a certain physics that apply when the weight of a six year old boy impacts a plastic pouch the proportionate amount of spray that will be captured by the one person that is wearing white. Luckily I had little white, which in this equation equals little marinara. Probably less than 2% of the pouch. Vastly different from the dripping boy in white.

But he told me to.

Just when I thought he was destined to be a middle manager, justice stepped in and both the stomper and his evil mastermind got on their hands and knees with rags. Which is all well and good, unless you are the little boy whose last words he heard before getting on the bus were don't get anything on your white shirt.

The little red stained boy,

that had nothing to do with it,

that will go without ice cream tonight,

if he is lucky.

Which begs the question, is that really justice?

32 comments:

otin said...

I guess it depends on what kind of ice cream? Ben and Jerry's choc chip cookie dough, then yes, it is punishment!

blueviolet said...

My kids never got in trouble for stains on their clothes. Did you?

An Open Heart said...

I remember pizza day in school....you're right, it was good stuff...I expect that our memories are better than the pizza really was/is, eh?


S

Kathleen said...

Absolutely delightful! In Palo Alto, where I attended grade school, we could walk home for lunch. My mom always had lunch waiting for me, but I was SO jealous of the kids who got sit on the picnic tables at school and eat the lunches they brought.

Did you catch that? They sat outside year round. California!

Goofball said...

pizza day at school! oh wow, I wanna go back to school.
or maybe we could launch pizza day at work! ....like during the upcoming project long overtime days when we get starving in the evening ;)..

oh damn, we already did this in the past...weeks of pizza. Unlike your memories, mine aren't so fond about the idea anymore.


Poor little stained boy though. He really had nothing to do with it. Marinara on white. Ouch...poor mom.

tony said...

not So Much Food As Modern Art !

Daniel said...

If I recall, this is not the first time that you have been involved in a "scene" at school when you were a guest. Pretty soon I suspect that you will walk to the front door only to find a picture of yourself with the words "call security if you see this man". Also, thanks for bringing physics into the fold today, I realize that you must have done this just for me.

subtorp77 said...

Seems a fair enough punishment. Hey it could have been a full-blown food-fight( reminding you to never let 'em watch "Animal House"--the cafeteria scene, oy! ). And I always got the ol' "you think I'm made of money?" speech, when it came to ruining one's clothes!

Tom said...

! I remember getting in trouble a couple times for doing something the other guy told me to do...i guess that's how you learn to quit being so naive. So how WAS the pizza?

Wings said...

That little packet of marinara reminds me of the butterfly, flapping its wings so far away. Never know how its all gonna turn out.

TechnoBabe said...

I used to have lunch at my kids school with them sometimes too, not often but the way you described it I remembered some fine times with one of my children, whichever one I was with that day. I wonder if they remember that I would go to their school and have lunch with them? I hope so.

Betsy said...

Wednesday is still pizza day at our local school. Alex buys his lunch every time. :)

Protege said...

When I was a child, none of the above would have been possible.;)
In the Eastern Bloc, the food we got was terrible and pizza was an unknown term. And to throw food around would mean severe beating and after school detention.
Quiet a different school of discipline.;)

willow said...

I don't know about school pizza, but my kinds always called that particular kind of industrial pizza "pool pizza" since it's what they ate at the pool every summer.

Lorraine said...

You mean some kids never wear stains...that's just plain wrong.

Jill said...

Funny that you bring this up...about the quality of school pizza. I had school pizza with my son and looked forward to it, actually talked about it a GREAT deal then ate it....hmmmm, NOT so good anymore.

Now, Brian...in some way...shouldn't you have stopped the Marinara "incident?" Then that little guy WOULD have gotten dessert last evening.

warmchocmilk said...

Maybe it was just that the other food was so bad, and the pizza was tolerable that made it seem so woderfully tastey... just saying. I love that you go for Pizza Day. You're a good dad.

Brian Miller said...

the pizza was okay, just not like i remember it. now that you mention it willow they used to serve it at our pool as well.

we may have gotten in a little trouble for stains if it was the "good" clothes, but this little guy was pretty tore up that he was going to "get it" when he got home. i think losing his ice cream would have been grace in his eyes.

could i have stopped it...what did not make the post: poop bananas (it seems one got an over ripe banana that was brown inside, really brown), another little boy who smuggled a plastic knife from the teacher table and was cutting his banana peel into little squares to store in his pocket for later, my son Judas, i mean Logan introducing me as Mr. Lollipop and listening to that choris for 40 minutes....yeah i felt really bad for the teacher. it was like watching the train coming down the tracks with no way to stop it.

i promise, i had nothing to with it, but yeah they may start banning me from the lunch room. lol.

Alix said...

Sadly, no. But those instances of no justice where there should be make you all the more thankful for when they finally do show up.

Poor little guy.
Poor you.

And the pizza wasn't even that good. Bummer.

Valerie said...

Oh happy days..... I think!

Ronda Laveen said...

When I was in massage school, I worked in the school cafeterias so I could be done with work early and go to school in the afternoons and evenings. I think they buy a lot of that pizza now days. But back then, we made it from scratch. Boy, thatza lota pizzapie to make by hand.

Meeko Fabulous said...

Poor little guy. I hope he doesn't get in too much trouble. Stained clothes are a part of growing up! I always, always had grass stains on my knees from playing on the playground. I was clumsy as a kid.

Liza said...

I love white, but I don't have it in my wardrobe anymore. I attract stains when I wear white.
I remember stomping on condiment packets (ketchup, mustard, relish) but not in school. Isn't that what kids do, get all sticky, and stained? I never thought about laundry when I was a kid. Come to think of it, I don't think about laundry much now. LOL!

The Things We Carried said...

little boys and stains on their clothes go together like ice cream and cones. At least my four boys's clothes were always magnets for whatever was near them.

Baino said...

That's why school uniforms are great! Aww don't punish him for getting food on his shirt. Save it for the real indiscretions.

lakeviewer said...

Oh, sweet retelling! There is more fast food being served at school than any place else. Schools buy bulk reheatable food. Most cafeteria have had cuts in personnel and fuel. Whatever pizz is being served it is not made from scratch at schools.

chubskulit said...

My daughter love marinara esp on french and garlic bread.

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The Retired One said...

Who sends their kid to school with a white shirt, anyway? :-}

BeautifulWreck said...

What kind of ice cream was it?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Princess Nagger's favorite day is Pizza Day at school. Or Pizza Day at home. So long as it's pizza. ;)

Getting in trouble for the actions that led to the stains is one thing, but getting in trouble for being stained? Stains are part of being a kid, aren't they? And they did their part by cleaning up the mess they made... :)

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This actually really made me sad. Hopefully, the little boy's family would know he had nothing to do with it.

Franzine Kafka said...

just found your blog. nice post. i miss school pizza