On July 27, 2009, at approximately 20:21 pm, TSO responded to an incident at Lynchburg Regional Airport(LYH). A man, having passed the security check point was accosted in the atrium by two hairless primates. One assailant wrapped the man's ankles driving him to the floor, while the second assailant leaped upon his chest, wrapping spindly arms around his neck and proceeded to choke the victim.
Officers attempted to deploy tasers until a third assailant arrived on the scene dispatching the primates and giving mouth to mouth to the victim, or assaulting his face. The revived (smiling) man was once again assaulted by the primates, hobbling under their weight and that of his luggage out the entrance doors into the parking area.
TSO officers continued to monitor situation until all parties fled the scene in a Gold Chrysler Town & Country heading northbound on 29N, singing loudly.
Yeah, the trip to Florida went great, but it's amazing to be home. Off to get the monkeys back in their cages.