Monday, July 27, 2009

TSA Incident Report

On July 27, 2009, at approximately 20:21 pm, TSO responded to an incident at Lynchburg Regional Airport(LYH). A man, having passed the security check point was accosted in the atrium by two hairless primates. One assailant wrapped the man's ankles driving him to the floor, while the second assailant leaped upon his chest, wrapping spindly arms around his neck and proceeded to choke the victim.

Officers attempted to deploy tasers until a third assailant arrived on the scene dispatching the primates and giving mouth to mouth to the victim, or assaulting his face. The revived (smiling) man was once again assaulted by the primates, hobbling under their weight and that of his luggage out the entrance doors into the parking area.

TSO officers continued to monitor situation until all parties fled the scene in a Gold Chrysler Town & Country heading northbound on 29N, singing loudly.


Yeah, the trip to Florida went great, but it's amazing to be home. Off to get the monkeys back in their cages.

36 comments:

john said...

Oh man, what an incident...

follow your blog now man..

chubskulit said...

do you own a monkey?

anyhow, just followed your blog, hope u can visit sometimes..

J A Harnett-Hargrove said...

Great family portrait! -J

Micaela said...

Wow, thats crazy!!!

Glad you had fun in Florida, though :)

And thanks for the sweet comment on the English Muse...wasn't really sure what to write, but glad to see that you liked it!

xoxo,
Micaela

Brian Miller said...

@john - yeah, my boys are nuts...they are really boys, they just think they are monkeys.

@chubskulit - nah, i have two young boys that like to attack when dad gets home.

@jayne - smiles

@micaela - nice fill in. lovely photos.

Hit 40 said...

My two monkeys are having a great summer off from school. One more month off!!

Mariana Soffer said...

It is hilarious and incredible the story, what was it a circus on tour?

Verily I go. said...

Brian. please hear me screaming with glee. PRICELESS. Attack of those hairless creatures AND a MOM kiss...EEEWWW, yuck forever, YESSS!

Goofball said...

hahahaha, you got me wondering for a second why this didn't make the news here :p

Ronda Laveen said...

How cute! Hairless primate muggers. So happy to see you.

Lola said...

Thos primates tend to get that way when the alpha male is gone for too long...
Welcome back home
Lola xx

Alan Burnett said...

Love the post although it is early in the morning over here and I had to read it twice before I worked out what was happening.

Eternally Distracted said...

Sounds like a fun time was had, primates and all.

otin said...

WoooHooo! Daddy's Home! Nice to be missed, isn't it? :)

Beth said...

Town and Country cars are monkey cars? My grandmother would be hurt to know that.

Florida is a great place to visit! And sadly, I take it for granted.

Cinnamon said...

Great reunion! As a child I used to enjoy watching airport reunions! Seeing loved ones after a long absence (or not-so-long in your case), all inhibition is thrown to the wind.

Daniel said...

Loved this post and the emotions that came through. Have a great one today and be careful, you know monkeys are known to throw their own poo.

Rob said...

Excited to hear how your trip went. Will you post about it?

Vodka Mom said...

I have some monkeys of my own- although they are quite domesticated at this point. Kind of.

xoxox

Wings said...

A welcome anyone would love!

Lorraine said...

that's hilarious...took me a second or two and wow lol

Travel & Dive Girl said...

Your post reminds me of the nursery rhyme - "two little monkeys jumping on the bed"...

Great post..smiles

♥ Braja said...

Tasers....mmmmm.....
:)

Fer*Cambe said...

Hey Brian, I'm following the blog now, fantastic - you gotta get these monkeys well trained or they're gonna keep gettin at you everyday. Wouldn't want that!

Valerie said...

Obviously never a dull moment... grins

Dot-Com said...

How cool is that! Would have loved to see that :-)

Joanna Jenkins said...

Sounds like you had fun monkeying around in Florida!
Welcome home.

Debo Hobo said...

Are you out there causing problems!?! LOL:) Sounds like fun!

John said...

Brian,
Welcome back from Florida. Airports can be crazy. I see you have another follower named John. I will sign my Bro. John after I leave a comment. You will have to tell us more about Florida. My Pastor he's 42(my age) and one of my best friends.Hejust got back from a 8 day vacation. He has never stayed away from the Church that long.This is good,He's learning how to delagate. Anyways God Bless and have a good day.
Bro.John

Brian Miller said...

been a bit of a whirlwind since getting back. thanks for all the comments. hoping my pace will slow down now into a better rhythm and can return some comments.

Colette Amelia said...

I had to read it again...much too high of a creative level for me! too funny when I did get it!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Welcome home! I loved this!

chubskulit said...

hahahaha i literally take the monkey as is hehehe... anyhow, came to visit again..

Joops said...

thanks for visiting back man..

liza said...

the monkeys missed you a bunch!

Mary said...

I totally figured out it was the boys and your wife HA HA HA - I'm starting to figure you out