Sunday, July 19, 2009

High fashion



On display in all her splendor, the audience of her peers gapes at her latest fashion designs scrawled out on brown sandwich paper. Emblazoned in red across the shirt...Lust. Do it...like a neon sign flashing in the front of the children's room at church, illuminated by the grin of it's six year old artisan. Pushing fuzz between the toes of my shoes, I debate the best way to explain this to her mother when she is picked up after service....

Well ma'am I don't know how to explain it. I was at least twelve before I started having lustful thoughts. No, I'm not condemning your daughter, maybe she is just advanced. Do you keep any magazines laying around...or watch Hannah Montana...

No, no. maybe the direct approach is better, if she knows the word, maybe she will understand...

These thoughts only degrade the beauty that you have been given, cheapening the intimacy you will feel with the one you finally decide to give your heart. Your desire to be known fully without ridicule replaced by a few minutes of...these decisions will haunt you for the rest of your life...leading to comparisons and dissatisfaction... stop now and save yourself the heartache.

Already feeling the awkwardness of those statements, she skips across the room in her flowing pastel dress and shiny shoes, confronting me in my indecision.

You like it?

Err....

Like his shirt.

Down the end of her pointing finger, a little boy in black, white writing...Just do it. Ah, this I can handle, a misspelling, the J reversed...whew. I thought for a minute there...wonder if her mom felt the same chill run up her spine when she unfolded the paper at home.

32 comments:

♥ Braja said...

That's what I thought....
:)

Brian Miller said...

it was rather telegraphed. it was much funnier in person it seemed standing there all proud of her lust...

Daniel said...

O.K., the world is safe again, ..., for now. Keep on the alert bloggerman.

Ronda Laveen said...

I saw what was coming too but it is still so funny and innocent. Interesting to consider if maybe we should all be as proud of our lust and not ashamed. Thanks for my Sunday funny. Dyslexic?

subtorp77 said...

I saw that coming, Brian. But you're not far off. Kids are becoming increasingly eager to grow up too fast. Some way more advanced than others. It's spooky.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I loved your synopsis of it... funny! ;)

Joanna Jenkins said...

I did NOT see that one coming :-) Well told!
It's amazing what kids come up with.

BeautifulWreck said...

LOL...to be a fly on the wall for this.

Leah said...

Yes, I agree with Ronda--the innocence of it, even if it was a "J" and not and "L"--is almost charming--

Mitr - Friend said...

ha ha ha... I can't imagine the embarassment of all involved... lols...
My Travelogue

otin said...

My first thought was, "Huh, the J is backwards"!, I am relieved to know that I was right!

paul said...

Love it.

Lorraine said...

Well my first thought was dislexic kid, I knew it meant to be just do it lol

Valerie said...

I guess I'm just slow on the uptake... grins

SandyCarlson said...

Ah...J and L. B and D. These reversals can cause more trouble....

Brian Miller said...

@daniel - i think it is my need to be a hero...

@ronda - L seems to reverse his letters at times. i don't know if it is dyslexic or a product of our educational system that does not push getting them inthe right direction until after they get the form...

@subtorp - yeah, i have played witht he theme a few days. several of the kids i work with seem to be jumping adolescents into adulthood and their parents seem to have no problem, even enabling it. i wonder do they realise what they are losing...

@stacy - ty.

@joanna - unfortunately the 5th grade boys loitering in the back did get it...and thus the angst.

@beautiful - oh yes, was bit funny...

@leah - yes, i hate to see them lose that, become self concious in their errors and then...

@mitr - at least we can chuckle at our selves, right?

@otin - hoping to have that relief more often

@paul - thanks for the visit. see you over at dans often.

@lorraine - smiles.

@val - ha. started your book...good thus far...will hit the next chapter tonight...

@sandy - a slip of the lip...or letter...

The Retired One said...

That is going to be ONE LUCKY man in her future.
With an attitude like that.....
:-P

J A Harnett-Hargrove said...

Better than fiction... -Jayne

Mariana Soffer said...

I like how you write but I think that in the content you might be giving too much importance to something that it does not have it

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Having taught children close to that age, I was pretty sure that was a backwards J, but this completely made me laugh.

It's good to be home reading again!

Valerie said...

Heehee I thought you'd gone quiet; which chapter are you on already...smiles

Brian Miller said...

@retired one - perhaps...

@jayne - i wonder if kids could just learn how to write earlier what they would tell...amazing stories I think.

@mariana - interested as to what that might be...always trying to get better so open to yourr thoughts.

@jen - just stopped by your place this morning to see if you were back yet...hope the trip was great!

@val - made it through the first three...sorry i should be commenting as i go...

Maggie May said...

Phew....... what a relief. A reversed *J* can make all the difference!
Funny!

Baino said...

At least her 'T's look like crosses! Poor thing, wait until she's in her teens with that disapproving fatherly glare headed her way "What! You're not going out in that!"

Dot-Com said...

Ah but let's just hope her mother asked for a story before saying anything. A tiny little typo ;-)

Brian Miller said...

@maggie may - all the difference in the world

@baino - ha. i have this great visual image of the look on her dads face. kinda glad i have boys. now i just need to learn how to do first aid on buck shot wounds.

@dot com - ha. would love to have been a fly on that wall.

A.Decker said...

It did seem obvious at first, but your presentation brought home just how hilarious that must've been.

Good one.

Vodka Mom said...

oh my God. I LOVE IT!


I feel like I"m back at work. sigh.

Jay said...

Having had young kids myself, I could see that's what it was, but it's VERY funny!

Perhaps you should keep a copy of that drawing and present it to her when she is a teen and ready for such things?

Nah. Maybe not. LOL!

Tom said...

it's precious, who could think different?

Pastor Sharon said...

Kids are the best. . . my son wrote his letters backwards for the first three years of school. . . I can only imagine the butterflies in your stomach until you saw the L was supposed to be a J.

Wings said...

Heh!