Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Operation: Golden Zoo-lu

Accelerating around the circle in front of the school, at the required 10 mph, the van screeched to a halt. Jump door flung open, I barrel rolled across the cool, rough concrete sidewalk...rising nonchalantly to blend with the crowd of one open mouth janitor. "Official Business, nothing to see here", tossing in a Jedi mind trick wave of the hand to further throw him off.

Confidently striding into the main office, as if I belonged there, I hacked into the main computer to print out VISITOR credentials that would get me passed the guards of this educational prison. A stray though ran through my mind, the dangers if I got caught; the sentence would be "I will not break my son out of school early", one hundred times on a grammar tablet.

Attaching the identification to my camouflaged T-shirt, Batman providing the perfect disguise, shadow to shadow I progressed toward cell block K(indergarten). Ducking into the bathroom to slip out my weapon if needed, I brandished the eraser and I stepped into his room. "Give me my son or I'll wipe everything off the chalkboard."

Cringing in fear, or maybe that was doubled over in laughter, the "teacher" released the color page math worksheet shackles. Fleeing down the corridor, hand in hand, Logan stopped me. "I have to go back", he had left vital intelligence, his lunch box. Absconding the materials, snack still intact, and finally free we leaped into the escape vehicle with the rest of the extraction unit and unveiled our plan..."Wanna go to the zoo?"




Truancy officers are still patrolling the neighborhood, but we rest assured knowing this was a parental sanctioned operation. Summer break days away, a little taste of freedom to make them pass that much quicker. Sometimes we all need a break from the norm, to keep us focused on the important things. 

Disclaimer: No teachers were hurt in the making of this epic and we really do appreciate all that you do for our children. As much as we would have loved to extract the animals, they were rescued and being cared for.

20 comments:

Jaime said...

good thing you didn't need to beat any teachers with those erasers while springing the kids for school

Daniel said...

I was worried when you said that you went into the bathroom and pulled out your "weapon". I can hear you now. Dan, keep it G, keep it G.

tony said...

FREEDOM!

Brian Miller said...

@jaime - i beat enough erasers in my school days, just not on the wall..then you have to scrub them...

@daniel - omG. lol. now that you put it that way I will never be able to read it the same...

@tony - just a taste, one more week til my playmate is free. spooky vid today...loved it.

Ronda Laveen said...

I am sure you probably made the teacher as happy as your son. They like their break too.

willow said...

And I thought we, at the manor, were the only ones who did those Alec Guinness Jedi-mind-trick-wave-of-the-hand things.

subtorp77 said...

Fun idea, Brian. I get to "spring" the Princess loose, once a month ( seems the teachers have a 1/2 day every month-prob'ly so they can breathe a little and catch up on work ). Of course, the first stop is usually for pizza!

Tom said...

great idea, a skip day. "I know what you're thinking...did I clap my erasers 5 times, or 6? Well, do you feel lucky, punk? Do ya?"

Leah said...

This is so lovely, and how funny but just last week I kept Hedgehog out of second-grade for the day to play hooky and go see a matinee of Night at the Museum II! We had SUCH an amazing time, made all the better by the fact that there was something a little naughty about it!

Congratulations to you for knowing what's important!

Brian Miller said...

@tom - wish i would have thought of that one. classic line!

@leah - yeah, you have to do it every once in a while to keep the sanity. think we as adults forget that sometimes and just plod on through hoping it will get better.

@subtorp - would be nice to have a half day every month for some play. i guess if everyone had it though it would be crowded and not quite so naughty, as leah put it. fun that you get that special time with "princess", kids need that. Pizza makes everything better!

@willow - lol. works every time, i wish. ha.

@ronda - sure a couple of my teachers would have felt that way.

Candie Bracci said...

Great post Brian!Have nice time in family!Family time that's the most important!

jake (to the) holla said...

i used similar tactics when i used to sneak into the compound known as Tabb High school to bring fast-food to my cohorts stuck within it's walls during their assigned lunch period... and i would save the visitor pass and re-use it on many follow-up missions as i snuck in for repeat missions

jake (to the) holla said...

"... on many follow-up missions as i snuck in for repeat missions"...... whoops, that was redundant

Brian Miller said...

@jake - lol. have played that game a few times myself. ym at it's deviant best.

@candi - too true. have a great day!

Liza said...

"Ducking into the bathroom to slip out my weapon if needed, I brandished the eraser and I stepped into his room. "Give me my son or I'll wipe everything off the chalkboard." ...loved this!

You're such a cool dad. What a great memory to share with your son.

Marianna said...

Oh dear you made me laugh lol lol

I'm sure that this will be one of those days for your boy...the ones he will remember years from now before picking up the phone just to say "hey dad I love you!". Ohhh I think I'm gonna call my parents now :)

Thanks Brian for a wonderful post!
xoxo

Poetikat said...

Ha! I love how you took this "mission" and turned it into an adventure! Great! (Oh, and you ALWAYS have to go back for the lunch box.)
What was the snack, by the way?

Kat

LENORENEVERMORE said...

Love this epic adventure! You are a great dad Brian!! Cheers to more adventures with family & friends!

KLBK said...

a male blogger! oooh. It's like finding a rare species in some zoo. I have to show my husband. I requested that he blog a post to 'make up for' forgetting our 7 month wedding anniversary ;) To his advantage, I forgot as well ;)

The Things We Carried said...

Oh MY gosh, I loved this! A super hero you surely are to your boy!