Monday, June 29, 2009

Between the Smiles

Peanuts and soda pop, aromas still clinging to our clothes, remnants of the baseball game, along with our smiles. Crack! Pop! Dreams of dusty slides into second base and dramatic come from behind hits run amok in little boys minds as we skip across the yard. Clomp! Clomp! Clomp! Wood steps ring hollow at our approach, a cool wind pours out of the mouth of our home, door swinging wide...

and the world stops...

then breaks on the living room floor...

as we see her laying prone...

Joy abounded a few weeks earlier, Kindergarten passed, Logan ready for his surprise. Great care taken in her choosing, matched only by his daily affection in the small things to make her life a reflection of what she brought to him. She watched him to bed every night, and greeted him with a smile when he awoke. Her beauty captivated his imagination, drawing forth her name..."Goldie."

Hot tears burned crimson eyes, his body shaking with sobs. But why? Arms shelter him in a hug, whispers into his hair. Gently he laid her into the medicine bottle, selecting a shaded area under the tree out front, we pulled back the covers to her resting place. What do you say?

Dearly beloved...no, that's for a wedding.

She was a good fish, much loved by the little boy whose heart she captured...

Water drained, a rainbow of pebbles drying in the sun, maybe another day. Not now, too soon for another, as his little heart heals. Maybe we will go for "coffee" soon and talk about Goldie, life and the great beyond. For now, we hug between the smiles.

39 comments:

lakeviewer said...

Oh my, the world did stop for that little fish and for the little kindergarten. The way of all things will always confound us; death is hard to understand at any age.

Leah said...

It's a terribly hard lesson--alas, my daughter's grandfather died before her first fish did--although that was its own milestone--there have been some deep existential discussions in our house, let me tell you...

otin said...

At what age does flushing it become acceptable? LOL!

Brian Miller said...

@otin - i suggested it, but got a very terse response of dismay...

@leah - Logan's grandmother did to. was tough, but this one seemed almost a personal betrayal.gotta love those talks...

@lakeviewer - we don't get to pick the time or place when lifes little moments catch us...one minute on cloud nine...the next...it never gets easier.

Lover of Life/ Nancy said...

Oh, how sweet. One time our younger daughter had a goldfish that lasted forever! Over two years. Anyway she was changing it's water over the toilet and it jumped out into the toilet bowl and disappeared. We had a sign hung on the toilet not to use and do not flush, just in case "Jaws" swam back up. :-)

BeautifulWreck said...

We have not had the pleasure of having a fish yet. My boys do want one dearly tho.

Sweet post.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Beautifully written. Your poor little guy. It's a hard lesson to learn :-)

Joseph Pulikotil said...

Hi Brian:)

Greetings:)

Beautifully written moments of life. Happiness, enjoyment, fun on one hand and sudden feeling of sadness, shock on the other. All in one day. High and low within a few hours.

Life is full of surprises. Happiness doesn't last forever. Life is teaching little Logan how to cope with good things and bad things. Today it is a fish which he hold so dear and close to his heart. Tomorrow it could be something else. He has to accept it in his stride although it is painful.

I feel very sorry for Logan. I remember when my children were small someone stole our little puppy. My children were very upset and went running through alll the streets of the place where we lived frantically looking for the dog. They didn't find it. They were inconsolable.

You can get another gold fish. I hope Logan will be happy then.

Have a lovely day Brian:)
Joseph

Verily I go. said...

omg i hate this part for kids. Goldie had better be a hampster...fish get to go to whirl pool heaven?? Actually, I hate this part for me too. it gets worse. just hugs.

Megan said...

Aw man. Tell Logan I said sorry.

MzzLily said...

Please pass my sympathy along... So sad. I enjoyed your naked post too! Thanks for visiting my becoming an author blog. And I hope you enjoyed my granddaughter's story.

Lily

Lorraine said...

The loss of a pet is so hard, hugs to Logan

Candie Bracci said...

Oh sorry to ear that.I've been there too,I know.Those are fragile as well.

Mrsupole said...

I have comfort for many on my post today. Wish I could give it in person but this was the best I could do. I hope another goldfish will someday make the loss easier.

God bless.

Mrsupole said...

Is the WV gone, yeah!!

Brian Miller said...

@lover of life - funny story, gave me smiles. how long did you have to wait?

@mrsu - your words and cookies always bring it...and the WV is gone, just for you.

@candie - smiles.

@lorraine - giving them to him for you...

@mzzlily - aspiring myself, at times, so thoroughly enjoyed my visit. will drop back by.

@megan - thanks. will do.

@verily - nope, a fish...and he balked at the flushing . hugs help.

@joseph - wise words my friend. touching story about the puppies. we don't get tto choose all that happens to us, only how we will deal with it. kids are just learning their emotions and when things like this happen they can struggle to process the feeling appropriately. think this is where talking with them helps bridge that gap. thanks joseph.

@joanna - ty. hard lessons that have to be learned. better now than on his own one day.

@beautiful - fish are pretty self sufficient and cute to look at...your boys may enjoy. they are def a hands off pet.

Eleonora said...

How sad, I'm sorry your boys had to learn it like this. Poor Goldie. I'm sure the reassuring arms and soothing words helped a lot. Bravo daddy and mommy.

Here's a message from Jen (A2eatwrite): "If you have a way to get in touch with Brian, would you please let him know that with the commenting embedding he has on blogger, there are many of us who can't comment on his blog. I read it every day, but I feel like a dog - watching but silent. He doesn't have an e-mail in his profile, so I can't contact him about this. If he switches to pop-up comments or full page comments, this will be remedied - there may be other of his readers in the same boat."

Ciao,Lola

Goofball said...

oh gosh that's so sad. A very hard sad lesson, yet a valuable one though. You are right, too soon for a new fish right now.

by the way I came over after reading a lovely review on your blog over at Jen from A2eatwrite (http://a2eatwrite.blogspot.com/2009/06/some-bloggy-stuff.html). She can't leave any comments on your blog due to some technical bug apparently.

Candie Bracci said...

You've been tagged,I have to tell you that you are a queen(it's not what you think it is)LOL!:P

willow said...

Aww. This certainly brings back sad memories of suicidal gold fish.

Daniel said...

I hate it when our little ones have moments where their innocence begins to crumble and the realities of this world take over. Simple views of the world are replaced slowly and incessantly with much harsher realities. It takes a toll on them and it certainly takes a toll on me.

Marianna said...

Hello Brian...

so sorry to hear about your fish. I had one when I was your son's age and I remember the feeling when he died :( Hope he'll be OK soon and will want to get another one (unlike me:)

Have a great week
xoxo

Ben said...

That's brutal. I like your take though, using a hard time as an impetus for talking about life and the great beyond :) That'll turn it into a blessing in the end. I must say though, the whole time I was expecting the dog to have died. That would've been the worst.

LENORENEVERMORE said...

awww...realities can be a challenge indeed! My condolences.
Lovely week ahead Brian!

Baino said...

Oh dear. I think we've all been through the burying the goldfish thing. Poor little Logan. Leah's right, get ready for the tough questions!

Brian Miller said...

thanks for all the lovely comments everyone. computer crashed this afternoon, so will be back late tonight to check in and follow up. Been one of those days.

Pastor Sharon said...

Thank you for stopping to read my blog. I just read your post and was captured from the first line. This is incredible. For the first time in my entire life, I mourned the loss of a fish!

One Nurse said...

Oh the sweetness of children and their pets! For him, his world did stand still. Death is not an easy thing to learn for anyone, let alone for sweet children!
Your words are beautifully written! Can't wait to come back and read some more!

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

Brian... again, thank you - now I can finally comment! My C went through a similar experience with a mall frog. It's so hard to lose that first pet. I hope he's somewhat recovered now.

Deb said...

You captured this moment in your child's life so perfectly with your words. Glad he has understanding parents who respected his sadness and helped him try to 'understand' death. Take care.

Brian Miller said...

@Lola - name change? thanks for the heads up, changed the format, we'll se if that works. yes, I think the hugs helped. smiles.

@goofball - sometimes lifes lessons can be hard, thus the hugs for balance. thank for the heads up as well.

@candi - always wanted to be a queen! err...

@willow - sending the next fish to counseling. lol.

@daniel - touching. i think we can help them learn through the process, as i am sure you do with your little one.

@marrianna - welcome back! one day the tank will house life again...

@ben - no dog here. just a cotchity old cat. using these moments to teach helps with the tougher times later, i think.

@lenore - hope you have a great week as well. will pass the condolences on to L.

@Pastor Sharon - ty. will be stopping by again soon!

@one nurse - thanks for stopping by. it never gets easier does it?

@Jen - great to finally meet you. sorry about the comment issues. thanks for the wonderful comments over at your place. First pets and first loves share a similar place in our memories. L is doing much better.

@Deb - TY!

California Girl said...

that's a sweet story. pretty hard on the little guy.

GTR said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
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